3. Elisabed

3

Elisabed

Steam curled around the bathroom like a lazy fog, clinging to my skin as I stepped out of the shower. My muscles ached from the tension I hadn’t realized I was carrying, the heat working out knots that had settled deep in my back. A damp, heavy towel clung to me as I stood in front of the fogged mirror. My reflection was blurry, unrecognizable—a ghost of myself.

The events of the past few days weighed on me—attacking Raol, my imprisonment, my father’s betrayal, my sister’s tearful face, the council’s cold indifference. It was all too much, too fast. Even now, surrounded by the luxury of their neutral territory home, I felt untethered, like a kite caught in a storm, my string stretched thin and ready to snap.

I rubbed a hand over my face, willing myself to stay present., when a sharp knock at the door made me jump.

“Are you alright in there?” August’s deep voice carried through the door, steady but laced with a concern that felt foreign coming from him.

“Yes,” I called back, though I wasn’t sure I meant it.

“Come out when you’re ready,” he responded after a moment of silence.

I breathed out, gripping the counter for support.

All three alphas had a commanding, intimidating presence, and I had felt it since I arrived. They each had their own unique intensity—August was restrained and calculating, though the fire behind his green eyes hinted at something barely leashed. Finn was the opposite—bold, unpredictable, and sharp-tongued, his every word a challenge or a tease. And Marshall...Marshall was the most unnerving. He was quiet, watching with a cold intensity that made me feel like he was dissecting me with his gaze.

The thought of them waiting for me sent a shiver down my spine—not entirely unpleasant. I must be getting delirious from exhaustion.

I swallowed hard, steeling myself as I opened the door.

The main room was dimly lit, the shadows flickering from a fire crackling in the stone hearth. All three alphas were there, gazes snapping to me when I stepped in.

Finn, of course, was the first to break the silence.

“Well,” he drawled, his scarred lips curling into a mischievous grin. “Are we going to stand here all night, or are we going to welcome her properly?”

August’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t object. Instead, he pushed off the doorframe and stepped closer, his movements deliberate. “We don’t need theatrics, Finn,” he said, his voice low and firm. “This isn’t a game.”

“Who said anything about a game?” Finn replied, his grin widening as he took a step toward me. His gaze flicked down to my lips, then back to my eyes. “We’ve brought her into our home. It’s only polite to let her know what that means.”

My breath hitched as Finn closed the distance between us, his fingers brushing lightly against my wrist. His touch was warm and electric, and his smirk softened just enough to make me question whether he was teasing or testing me.

My cheeks burned, and I tightened my grip on the edges of the towel like it was a shield. “What do you mean?” I asked.

“We need to rid you of his scent,” Marshall responded. “It’s the only way he’ll leave you alone now that you’ve made a mockery of him. You won’t fully bond with us until his hold is broken.”

The reminder of Raol sent a chill through me, my stomach twisting at the thought of his claim lingering on my skin. But this? This felt even more terrifying. Ridding myself of Raol’s claim on me was a freedom I had always dreamed of, but it was impossible to do it alone.

Bonds between alphas and omegas were sacred—at least, they were supposed to be. They were supposed to be affectionate —loving, even. Omegas served their alpha, providing care and nurturing them. In return, alphas were meant to protect their omegas and provide for them in every way imaginable.

Unsurprisingly, this bond had become corrupted in recent years. Alphas behaved aggressively and unpredictably, which affected their relationships with their omegas. Raol had never once treated me like a precious thing, and the bond he’d forced on me had only ever done more harm than good.

Even now, I could feel the tether to him, strained and barely there as it was. His scent lingered in my glands, and...god, I had dreamed of being rid of him. I knew it would be uncomfortable—that my biology would be upset about changing alliances—but submitting to these new alphas, allowing them to place their claim on my body, ridding the old claim as if it never existed...

It would be more than freeing. It would be everything .

“And you’ll help me?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

“We’ll do more than help, Omega,” Finn said, his rougher now, his playful grin replaced by something sharper. “We’ll make you forget he ever existed.”

Before I could react, Finn’s mouth was on mine. His kiss wasn’t gentle—it was demanding, claiming, leaving no room for hesitation. His hands found my neck and tightened, tilting my head just enough to deepen the kiss, and I felt his heat, the sheer dominance radiating off him like wildfire. When he pulled back, his lips still hovered dangerously close to mine, his scarred mouth curling into that habitual smirk.

I took a shaky breath but didn’t resist when the other two came closer, though my heart pounded so hard I thought it might burst. August moved first, his hand closing around my wrist, tugging me away from Finn with a roughness that made my pulse spike. He didn’t say a word as he pulled me against him, his dark eyes locking onto mine with a smoldering intensity that made it hard to breathe.

“Let go, Omega. We’ll keep you safe.”

The words hit me harder than they should have, breaking something loose inside me. I sagged slightly, my body betraying my resolve as their touch overwhelmed my senses.

August’s lips brushed mine, tentative and testing at first. When I didn’t pull away, the kiss deepened, his hand slipping to the back of my neck to anchor me. His scent, warm and woodsy, wrapped around me, sinking into my skin with every second that passed.

He kissed like he led—firm, controlled, and all-consuming. His hands came up to frame my face, his thumbs brushing against my cheekbones as he kissed me with a precision that left no room for uncertainty. He didn’t rush, didn’t push, but the intensity behind it made my knees weak. This wasn’t just a kiss; it was a claim, a declaration, and it left me breathless.

Finn’s hands slid down my arms, his lips trailing across my shoulder. “Do you like this, little omega?” he asked, his voice a low, teasing growl.

I couldn’t answer, my words stolen by August’s mouth moving against mine. I let out a low growl, a sound of protest that was quickly swept away when August nipped at my lower lip. Any resistance melted into a moan, and I felt August’s lips curl up in a triumphant smirk against mine.

“Use your words,” Finn coaxed, his teeth grazing my skin.

“Yes,” I growled. “Is that what you want to hear?”

Finn chuckled, the sound vibrating through my back. “So defiant, omega. We’ll work that out of you, I promise.”

His teeth sank into my shoulder—just a teasing bite that barely stung—before he pulled away again, pressing his lips against the mark. The gesture made me squirm, the combination of sweet and claim almost more than I wanted to deal with, and then Finn’s lips were pressed against my ear, and his voice was low and seductive.

“Now, nicely, omega. Do you like this?” he asked.

August’s gaze burned into me, and I couldn’t stop myself from whimpering when Finn nipped at my earlobe before sucking it into his mouth.

“Yes,” I finally whispered.

“That’s better,” Marshall said, standing before me. He studied me, his gaze sharp and calculating, as if trying to decide whether this was worth the risk.

For a moment, I thought he might just turn around and walk away.

“You don’t have to—” I started, but he cut me off.

“Hush,” he said quietly.

And then he was nudging August to the side. His hand cupped my jaw with a roughness that made my breath hitch. He didn’t hesitate. His lips crushed against mine, demanding and unrelenting. There was no teasing, no softness—just raw, unfiltered heat. I gasped against his mouth, and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, his grip on my jaw tightening just enough to ground me.

The towel fell away as their hands explored, each touch more insistent and possessive. Marshall’s kisses grew fiercer, his control fraying as he devoured my mouth. Finn was relentless, his hands mapping the curve of my spine, his lips and teeth teasing at every inch of exposed skin. August remained quieter, his mouth trailing heat along my collarbone and down to the hollow of my throat.

My senses blurred under the onslaught, and their scents—smoke, cedar, and something uniquely them—overwhelmed the remnants of Raol’s presence. The ache in my chest, the grief, the anger—all of it melted away under their touch. I could feel the bond between us protesting the presence of these new alphas, and I didn’t have it in me to fight it. It faded more and more with each passing second, aching and an enormous relief all the same.

“You’re ours now,” August growled against my lips, his voice rough with possessiveness.

Before I could respond, Finn’s broad chest pressed firmly against my back. His hands came down on my shoulders, firm and unyielding, holding me in place as his mouth lowered to the curve of my neck. “Not fully yet,” he murmured, his voice rough against my skin. “But soon.”

His hands slid down until they found my hips, turning me to face him. His eyes roamed over me, hungry and unrestrained, as if he was already planning his next move. “You’re trembling,” he said, his voice dropping lower as his fingers tightened on my waist. “You like this more than you want to admit, don’t you?”

“I—” The denial caught in my throat as August stepped in. “Move,” he growled, his eyes blazing as he grabbed Finn by the shoulder and again took his place before me.

With a sly smile, Finn retreated and held out his hands in a gesture of simulated submission. “All yours.”

Marshall leaned in, his lips grazing my ear, and August’s hands spread around my waist, holding me firmly against him. “You can lie to yourself all you want, sweetheart,” he murmured, his breath warm against my skin. “But we can smell the truth on you.”

The words made me flush, and I couldn’t stop myself from moaning softly as August’s hands slid up to cup my breasts. Marshall moved closer behind me, and the feeling of being pressed between the two of them so firmly made me squirm.

“Oh no, you don’t,” August murmured. His thumbs teased over my nipples, coaxing them to hard peaks, and I groaned when he captured them between his fingers and clamped down. The sudden burst of pain made me whine, and Finn chuckled softly, reaching out and brushing his fingers down my cheek as Marshall buried his face in my neck.

“You’re not getting away from us, Omega,” Finn said, practically bouncing on his feet. The mildly unhinged glint in his eyes was back when I glanced over at him, but I couldn’t find it in myself to be alarmed at the sight of it—not when Marshall’s lips were brushing teasingly up and down the column of my neck, and August was still toying with my nipples, sending heat down to swirl low in my belly and making my thighs clench together.

“Oh, fuck ...” I closed my eyes and groaned, and just as fast as I did, Finn’s grip on my chin tightened until it was almost painful, and my eyes snapped back open again.

He grinned at me, his eyes glittering. “That’s right, Omega. Eyes on us. Make sure you know what alphas you’re submitting to.”

Then he leaned forward and crushed his lips against mine, snarling as I whimpered at the sudden assault on my senses. So much was happening everywhere, and I didn’t know what to pay attention to. Marcus’ teeth on my neck, nipping stinging marks up and down as he gripped my hips firmly, the hard length of his erection pressing up against my bare ass. August, and the authoritative way he commanded my body, teasing my nipples and then sliding his hands down my belly when he’d decided that I’d had enough.

Or Finn, who kissed me like he was starving for me, like I was the air that he needed to breathe. Like I was the only thing that he wanted.

Feeling so needed, not just by one alpha but by three… made my head swim. I wanted to stay defiant, tell them how they might have my body but were never going to get my mind ...but I couldn’t.

August’s hand slipped lower, and without being asked, I spread my legs to let him in. The voice in my head that was usually so ashamed of how much my biology wanted alphas was nowhere to be found, and the lack of shame made it easy to enjoy when August’s fingers slid lower and teased at the swelling bud of my clit.

“So fucking wet for us, Omega,” August murmured, his voice smooth and commanding. “All this nice slick. This needy pussy knows what it needs.”

My hips jerked against his fingers when they slid lower, teasing at my entrance, and Finn sank his teeth into my lower lip and dragged them across it before he released me with a stinging pop. My eyes fluttered open, and I saw him licking his lips as if chasing the taste of me, and that made my pussy clench all over again.

“Bed, August,” Marshall said, his voice cool and controlled by my ear. There was no hint of the arousal I knew he was feeling in the way he spoke, and I ground my ass back against him in retaliation, feeling slightly vindicated when he hissed slightly.

Finn laughed, the sound delighted and mildly unhinged. “Oh, she’s going to be fun,” he said, pulling his shirt up and over his head as August removed his fingers from between my legs—ignoring my whine—and grabbed my hand, tugging me along.

The bedroom they took me to was spacious and opulent, with a bed in the middle that would easily fit all four of us. I didn’t have the opportunity to look too closely at it, though, before August pulled me close to him, jerking me to him so suddenly that our chests collided, and the only thing I could look at was his eyes.

“I know this is a lot,” he said, his voice careful and measured. “But we will never force ourselves on you. Do we have your consent to finish eradicating your bond with Raol?”

The words were carefully thought out, reflecting the controlled alpha I knew he was. If I said no, I somehow knew—for a fact—that August would take my word at face value. They would eradicate the bond as much as possible, and we would deal with whatever consequences came from not completing our new bond.

But as the other two drew level behind us, and I grew comfortable in the fact that these alphas would accept a denial if I gave it to them, I realized that I didn’t want that.

I didn’t have a lot of choices in this world. The last twelve hours had proved that to me more than anything. But I could make this choice right here and now. I could decide to accept them, and even if I left, nobody could take that from me.

I swallowed and then nodded. “Yes. You have my permission.”

August regarded me for another moment, his expression impassive, and then he nodded.

“Good,” Marshall said, his voice deep.

Then, there was a pair of hands on my hips, and I was jerked toward the bed and tossed unceremoniously on top of the soft blankets before I could wrap my head around what was happening. The bed dipped on either side of me as Finn—the alpha who had tossed me, because of course it was him—crawled until he was hovering over me, and then slowly lowered himself on top of me.

“Good girl,” he practically purred, his eyes gleaming. He leaned down and kissed me again, and the hard length of his erection ground against my clit. The sensation made a startled whimper escape me, and August chuckled, the sound dark and anticipatory somewhere to my side.

“Edge her, Quince,” Marshall commanded. “Get her ready for us.”

Finn pulled away and winked at me as he shifted so that one hand could slide between my legs. “Happily,” he answered.

Where August had teased my pussy with his fingers, toying with my clit and making my body beg for more, Finn took the opposite strategy. He pushed two fingers inside me without ceremony, making me gasp as he gently hooked them up, rubbing against a magical spot inside of me and making a shocked moan of pleasure fall from my lips.

“Oh, oh ...” I closed my eyes, and the bed dipped by my side again.

A hand under my chin grabbed my attention, and I looked at August, who was now naked. He smirked down at me, his free hand wrapped around the shaft of his very hard cock, stroking slowly. “How experienced are you, Elisabed?”

I swallowed, unable to pull my eyes away from his dick even as Finn started to finger fuck me, slow and deep. “Not...very,” I finally breathed.

August cocked his head to the side as if evaluating my answer, and then he nodded. “Then we’ll take it slow. Open.”

He leaned forward until the head of his cock nudged against my lips, and my lips parted to let him in. I moaned softly as his taste burst across my tongue.

In the back of my mind, I knew this was about more than pleasure. This was about replacing every single bit of Raol’s claim on me and making my biology accept these three as my new masters——but it was hard to remember that when they smelled so fucking good, and everything they did felt so fucking good.

All I wanted was more.

I sucked on August’s cock, and I felt Marshall’s eyes on us as Finn drove my body toward orgasm alarmingly quickly. He seemed to know exactly when I was on the edge and backed away every time I got a little close. The growing frustration in my body as he fingered me and played with the slick that was dripping out of me like a faucet couldn’t be denied.

I growled, my hips jerking against his fingers as he pulled away yet again. I’d lost track of how many times he’d kept me from coming, and the sound of my frustration was muffled by August’s cock as I tried to pull away so that I could give Finn a piece of my mind.

August’s hand clamped around the back of my neck, and he purred softly as Marshall chuckled and approached to lay on my other side. I couldn’t turn my head to look at him; I could only listen as he pressed his lips against my neck, worrying his teeth at my scent gland.

“It’s so hard to give up control, isn’t it?” Marshall murmured, his voice firm and smooth. “You want to tell us all off so badly. You want to give us the finger and tell us that you’re a big, bad omega who won’t be told what to do, don’t you?”

Finn’s fingers slid out of me, and a moment later, there was wide, blunt pressure at my entrance, and August’s fingers flexed against the back of my neck. He pulled away enough that only the tip of his cock was still resting between my lips, and I whined. They were all touching me, but it wasn’t enough .

“But you need us,” Marshall continued, his voice lowering to a seductive, degrading croon. “You need alphas to take you in hand, to tell you what to do and how to be good, don’t you?”

“Tell me you want me, Elisabed,” Finn said, his voice tense and excited. August pulled out my mouth so I could look at him, and god, I would remember how Finn looked at me for years to come. His cock was hard and throbbing, clutched in his hand and poised at my entrance. He was shaking a little as if it was physically hurting him not to push all the way inside me, but he was waiting.

“Fuck me,” I snapped, the frustration of his little edging session making my voice tremble. “Stop talking about it and fucking do —”

Finn’s hips punched forward, and his cock filled me so suddenly that I let out a yelp of pleasure and shock. August pushed his cock back inside my mouth at the same time, and then I was stuffed from both ends while Marshall chucked behind me, and one of his hands rose to play with my nipple, teasing the sensitive tip while Finn set a harsh, incredible pace.

“Such an aggressive omega.” Marshall hummed, and then his teeth sank into my neck, intentionally this time. His tongue stroked across my scent glands, and fuck, it was intense—August’s cock in my mouth, Marshall’s teeth in my neck, Finn’s cock in my pussy.

The orgasm hit me so suddenly that I didn’t have time to prepare myself for it, and the pleasure was so intense that it made my head swim. I moaned helplessly around August’s cock as he fucked my mouth with slow, smooth strokes, and Finn growled aggressively as he picked up the pace, his hips snapping harder against mine.

“There’s a good girl,” he gritted out. “Come all over my cock, baby. There you go. I love feeling you clench around me like that.”

I was barely listening to him. I could already feel another orgasm growing, low in my pelvis, and my hips were shifting back and forth, thrusting up against him every time he bottomed out inside of me, giving as good as I got. I sucked on August mindlessly, my body seeming to know exactly what to do, and I reached down with one hand to wrap around Marshall’s cock, giving him a stroke.

“Fuck,” Marshall growled, releasing his teeth from my neck and rumbling a sound in my ear that was undeniably alpha .

It made me clench, and I felt Finn’s cock pulse inside me, and then an aggressive growl ripped through the air as he slammed home and then came. He flooded my insides with his cum, and his cock had barely stopped twitching before August pulled out of my mouth and shoved Finn to the side so he could take his place between my legs.

His hands stroked my thighs tenderly, and that was the only warning I got before August filled me with one thrust. He was bigger than Finn, slightly curved in a way that made the head of his cock nudge against that sensitive spot inside me with each thrust. He set a brutal pace, and without my mouth occupied, my needy gasps and moans filled the air and set my cheeks burning with equal amounts of desire and humiliation.

“Good, sweetheart,” Marshall murmured, his voice a little softer. He cupped my chin and turned me to face him, and the intensity of his dark eyes took my breath away. “Good.”

He pressed our lips together, and Finn collapsed on my other side, filling the air with the scent of his pleasure. He stroked his hand soothingly up and down my arm, and all I could do was hold on as August took his pleasure from my body and gave me mine in return. His fingers landed on my clit and worked it hard and fast, and only Marshall’s lips against mine, kissing me with such fervor, kept me from screaming at the overwhelming pleasure.

“Fuck. Yes. Mine. Ours. Omega .” August slammed home, and his cock jerked inside me as he let out a groan that was somehow pained and aggressive at the same time. He rubbed my clit hard and fast and said, his jaw clenched, “Come for me, Elisabed. I’m not giving you over to Marshall until you give me one more.”

It shouldn’t have done it for me, the objectification—the way he talked about me as if I were a toy they could pass around—but it really, really did. I clamped down on his softening cock, and I could already feel their combined fluids leaking out of me as I fell over the edge into another orgasm. This one was almost too intense, verging on painful, and I whimpered helplessly as Marshall pressed one more tender kiss against my lips and then pulled away.

“You’re doing great,” he said quietly, his voice firm and controlled again—almost cold, though I could still feel the hardness of his erection against my palm. “Just a little bit more.”

August pinched my clit one more time before he pulled out altogether, and he and Marshall swapped spots as I lay there limply on the bed. It was a lot for someone whose experience with sex was very limited, but I liked it, no matter how overwhelming it was.

I nodded at Marshall when he wrapped his hand around my cock, and made a sound low in his throat in askance. Of course, he would wait for my consent before he fucked my pussy which both of his fellow alphas had already taken.

When he pushed inside of me, though, I knew why Marshall went last. His cock was big, bigger than both of the other two, and the stretch of his girth was enough to make tears spring to the corners of my eyes.

“ Fuck ...” I moaned.

August nudged my cheek with his nose. “You’re doing so well, Omega. I know you can take him. Just a little more...be a good girl and relax.”

His reassuring words satisfied my omega, and I fully relaxed into the bed as Marshall pushed the rest of the way into me.

“So good, sweetheart. So fucking good,” he growled.

He set a slower pace than the others, but it devastated me in a different way. Every thrust felt like it was carving my insides out and making room for all three of them, and I could feel the lingering vestiges of my bond with Raol fading away. The ache in my chest—the place where the bond had been—increased, and Marshall’s fingers found my oversensitive clit at the same time as if he could tell how I was hurting.

I could feel a new bond growing in the place of the old one. Their scents were sinking into my skin, into my very being, and I could already tell this bond was far stronger than the one I’d had with Raol. This one wouldn’t be broken, even if I decided I wanted to leave.

This one was permanent—for life.

I moaned helplessly as Marshall fucked me, still going slower than the others had. The consideration was sweet, but I wanted to feel him come inside me. I needed it with an intensity that surprised me. I needed it like I needed air, and I let out a low whine that made all three alphas stiffen.

“Please,” I whimpered. “Please, I want...I need...”

“What do you need, Omega?” Finn murmured. “Tell Marshall. He’ll give you anything.”

It was the same thing he’d told me before we started the bond-breaking process, yet it was so different now.

“Your cum,” I gasped. I could feel my mind fracturing, instinct warring with conscience, and god, I needed him. I would lose it if I didn’t get what I needed...

“Please. I need to feel you come inside me. Alpha. Marshall. Please ...”

I clenched down on his cock, my body teetering on the edge of another impossible orgasm, and Marshall groaned, working me faster. He seemed to recognize something in me that I was barely aware of, and his hand clamped around my hip, grounding me and pulling my focus until the only thing I could see was him.

“With me, Omega,” he panted. “I want to feel you clench around me. Come with me, and I’ll give you what you need. Now.”

His voice was magic, and I was finally able to scream as he shoved me over the edge, my entire body exploding with pleasure that made my vision gray out around the edges. I was vaguely aware of Marshall groaning loudly as he followed me over the edge, and I clenched around his thick cock over and over again before finally slumping against the bed, my entire body spent.

It was then that the three of them struck.

Finn’s teeth sank into my left arm, and August’s did the same on my right. Marshall hooked his hand under my knee and brought my leg up to bite into the fleshy part of my calf.

Their claims drove out the existing bond and replaced it with their own.

I was theirs.

The moment was fast, and the pain of their bites was fleeting. Each carefully detached their teeth from me, and I peeked over at Finn as he dragged his tongue over his new mark, sealing it so I didn’t bleed too much. August did the same on my other side and Marshall on my leg.

Marshall was careful as he pulled out of me. The sensation of their fluids leaking out of my pussy should have embarrassed me, but it didn’t. It felt right, satisfying a primal need I’d never realized I had been craving to fulfill.

The pleasure mingled with a sense of aching sadness, though. The bond with Raol was fading rapidly, and every part of me was aware of its absence. I hated Raol, but I had been bonded with him, and my reaction to losing that bond was just biological instinct—nothing more, nothing less.

Marshall lay on the bed, finishing our little puppy pile, and I closed my eyes to mourn and celebrate.

***

The fire crackled softly as we all lay tangled together. The sharp edges of my grief had dulled, but I still felt a little raw and exposed.

Their scents were everywhere now, woven into my skin and drowning out the ghost of Raol.

I didn’t know when I started crying, but the tears came hot and silent, streaming down my cheeks as the weight of everything hit me. They didn’t stop. I didn’t know what to do with this kind of affection, obligatory though it might be. I had never even let myself even dream of it. I didn’t know what their plans with me were, but I didn’t have it in me to think about the future, not when I only just felt the relief from my past.

August’s lips softened against mine, his hand cradling my face. Finn’s teasing melted into something gentler as his thumb brushed away a tear. Even Marshall’s touch shifted, his grip turning protective.

“It’s okay,” August whispered, his forehead resting against mine. “Let it out.”

The sobs came then, raw and uncontrollable, wracking my body as I clung to them. Their hands didn’t leave me, their touches grounding me even as I broke apart in their arms.

When the tears finally stopped, I was left trembling, my head resting against August’s chest. The steady beat of his heart calmed the frantic rhythm of my own.

Finn whispered, “You did well,” as his lips touched my temple.

The knot in my chest relaxed for the first time in days, and I had something akin to peace for the first time in what seemed like an eternity.

Finn’s voice hummed playfully against my ear as he asked, “Better?” Unable to trust my voice, I nodded.

“This is only the beginning,” August said, his eyes meeting mine.

I just nodded again. I didn’t have much hope for the future; I’d spent too long living day to day to look for any sort of brightness on the horizon. But maybe...maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad after all.