Chapter 9 - Senna

Jet's words were kind and gentle and the exact things I wanted to hear. He was using me. I knew it. He couldn't possibly actually feel these things for me. He was just desperate to rut me through my heat. But denying that I wanted the same right now was damn impossible.

He smelled divine—pine and leather and mine.

With each passing surge, that mate bond was brought to the surface more and more. It was just as strong as the first time I'd met him now, and every bit of me ached to give into it.

Every bit of me ached anyway. The heat was going unanswered. It had so many times before. But this was so wildly different. I hadn't been coming off the back of an excommunication then, or so close to my mate that I could actually touch him.

My mate.

Yeah, I knew it as much as he did. I wanted to deny it, but I couldn't then, and I couldn't now. But the memory of his rejection was still bright in my mind. The pain of an unanswered heat was nothing compared to that.

I refocused on what he'd said.

"I was barely surviving as it was, Jet." Struggling, I pulled my hand back, crawling across the bed to get more space. "You damn near killed me with the rejection. And…and as you pointed out…"

My breathing was labored against the swell of hormonal need and exhaustion. Pain dragged still more of my breaths away, but I wouldn't be silenced. Not now.

"I have no wolf…I was never going to be treated well by any pack member. Your rejection just reminded me of that fact."

Jet's mouth fell open slightly. Behind his dilated pupils, I could see the acceptance of my words. His brow was down, his face all screwed up into an expression I didn't enjoy seeing. Turning away, I got near the head of the bed, the most distance I could get without leaving it.

Part of me didn't want to leave it, the part that wanted a soft, dark den to escape into. But I couldn't be near him. Being close to Jet was too much. I'd never be able to fight the raw need for him if I stayed there.

So, I pulled myself off the bed, and Jet was smart enough to stay where he was as I stumbled a few feet away, clinging to the sheets around me.

"Senna."

His voice was that low growl, and I could tell he was barely holding himself back. Why is he holding himself back? He should've jumped on top of me at this point.

"I'm truly sorry." Trivial words that didn't change the facts. "I was wrong. I shouldn't have left you there."

His voice wavered, the lust still there, but held behind a screen of regret that shocked me a bit.

"No. I should have risked it—for you. I…dammit, Senna. I've told the pack you'll be staying, and I mean that. You're safe here. No one is going to kill you or breed you. Not…not even me, if you don't want."

That got my attention.

I froze in place, nearly to the bathroom, with my back to him. My hair was still down from the bath. Even though I was desperate to put it up because of how hot I was, it dangled around my shoulders, the curls pulled long by the lingering water on them.

"Jet…"

I couldn't find the words. I felt him just a few feet away. I felt every fiber of my being call out for him, because he was mine, and I was his. But it was so raw and new. I couldn't…I couldn't stand to get hurt again. I'd already been through too much.

Squeezing the sheet that wrapped around me, I knew what I had to do—how I could make him see. See the truth, see me. I pulled the hair off my back, sweeping it over my shoulder as I lowered the fabric covering me just enough to reveal my back.

A hushed gasp left Jet, followed by the deep, acrid smell of burning. It diluted his wonderful natural scent, and even as another wave took me, forcing me to the ground as I writhed—desperate for him inside me—the grief over my own existence hollowed me out.

"What the…" He was at me in a flash, his hands tracing over the dozens of scars that decorated my flesh. "Who did this to you?"

The growl that left him shook my bones, and I lost a bit of myself to the feeling of his hands on my skin. His charred leather smell intensified, and I sensed the protective rage coursing through our pack bond. He was furious, enraged, but it was for me, not at me.

"You said so yourself, Jet." I moaned, my head falling forward as my womb cramped down, hungry, demanding attention. "I have no wolf. The pack hated me. They likely would have had me killed just to spite you if they'd learned I was your…mate."

Jet's fingers smoothed over each and every one of the old wounds—bite marks, claw slashes, blades, whips.

"I will see them all skinned for what they did to you."

Our mate bond flared, a bright, hot beacon of possessiveness over me that made my head spin. The heat intensified. I'd never felt it this strong before, but I'd also never been around my mate for this long.

And he was still touching me. Jet was running his fingers up and down my spine and around my sides. He was seeking every bit of contact he could get from me.

But Gods, how could I trust this?

"You say that. You say…you'll end them for what they did. But how do I know…how do I know you won't just leave me again? I can't go through that again. This close to an excommunication, to a heat"—another wave wracked through me, and I hissed as my muscles scorched from an internal fire—"I'll die."

"I won't let that happen. I swear to you." Jet lowered his nose toward my neck, and I stiffened, instinctually going on defense. "Gods, Senna. How could they be so cruel to you? It's not right."

I could barely think. Jet was too close again. His scent and feel all around me like this made it impossible to focus. The wave of hormones backed off, sinking to a level far lower than it had been.

Oh, thank Gods, I'm through the first round.

Pulling myself up off the floor, I turned and faced Jet, backing away slightly as I clutched the sheet to put more space between us again. He blinked several times, his mind clearing as the pheromonal pull backed off.

"Oh," he sighed, "did it? Stop?"

I nodded with a shrug. "Only momentarily. It'll be back. Soon."

Jet nodded, backing up even further to sit on his bed. The thing sunk down under his weight, and I eyed the circle of blankets that I'd made in the bed as he messed them up. A faint growl left me—unbidden and unstoppable.

"What was that?" He cocked a brow at me.

"I'm…" I shook my head, trying to focus out of the territorial urge to get him out of my den unless we were using it. "I'm sorry. I'd just…"

My eyes lingered on the bed, and Jet looked down over his shoulder. He stood up, adjusting the blankets so they created that well shape again and stepping away toward the window.

"Did you make a den of my bed, Omega?" he smirked, and I wanted to snap at him, but I held it back.

"Unintentionally." I rolled my eyes, flopping down to the floor and sitting.

With a nod, that smirk still in place, I watched Jet fold his arms across his chest. He looked at the floor for a moment, chewing on his lip. The need to be with him was still strong, and our mate bond had solidified some in the moments we'd spent together during the first phase of the heat.

"I'm not used to having unclaimed omegas in the house," he chuckled to himself. "Any wolf looking to go through her heat alone goes for a run and stays in the woods so the others won't—"

"Rut her into oblivion? Yeah, I guessed as much."

That disarmingly beautiful smile of his lit up Jet's face. His deep green eyes met mine again, and heat or not, all I wanted to do was walk up and kiss him. But I knew it was the bond talking—and very much my heat as well.

"I'm…" Jet sighed. "Your life with the Collins pack was horrid. I wish with everything I have that I could go back in time and spare you even a minute of that pain. I didn't want us to be literally killed for being together, but…"

He took a step forward, the wood floor creaking under his weight. My attention flicked to his boots for just a moment, and I noticed, strangely enough, how well cared for they were. Terrance's things were permanently stained, roughed up, and well worse for wear.

"This hasn't been truly living. For either of us."

Scoffing lightly, I met his eyes again, finding a slim piece of silver-white hair hanging in front of his left eye. I wanted to brush it aside. I wanted to coil my fingers through it, through all his uniquely icy locks. Humans would think he dyed it. They wouldn't know that his hair, like many of the stranger shades found on wolves, was a sign of his alpha lineage.

"Oh, really. You look like you're doing quite well for yourself, Alpha." I gestured around the room.

With a nod, Jet took one more step forward.

"I never once stopped thinking about you. My chest ached from the distance. I always knew you were out there. Just right there in the Collins pack. I wanted to run to you every damn day. And every day, I told myself no, because I thought I was going to get you killed."

Another step and my heart was in my throat now, my pulse skyrocketing.

"I should have gone to you, Senna. I can't fix the past. But I can do everything in my power to make your life better now. Please…please let me."

An alpha, the Edwards Alpha, was begging me, an omega, to let him in.

My temperature slowly began to rise again. The second phase was coming, and I didn't think I'd be able to keep myself from Jet this time.

And the truth was…I didn't want to.