Chapter Twenty-Eight Maya

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Maya

December 2011

Over the next week and a half, I fell hard for Nate Banks. He was from Chicago—a family of boys. He introduced me to Roots Manuva and Timbaland and Kendrick, and showed me how he looped samples and mixed tracks in his room for his friends to rap on. Every time Nate entered a room, the air felt charged. It was likewe were revolving around each other, brought together by a magnetic pull.

So why hadn’t he asked me out? I was sure the night we met at Terrace there were sparks between us.

—

The last Friday before the winter break, Daisy and I met for breakfast at Sterling Club, and it all came crashing down.

“ He’s what? ” I asked again, unable to process what she’d said.

“Yeah,” she said. “He’s Cecily’s boyfriend. Well, not boyfriend, I guess, I think they’re just hooking up. I don’t think she’s serious about him.” She reminded me of how Kai had mentioned him the night we rode in Cecily’s golf cart.

Daisy pointed to the other side of the dining room, where Cecily and Nate sat next to each other at the end of the long table—she must have brought him to eat here after they’d spent the night together. Seeing them was like a blow to the chest: she was grabbing his arm and laughing like whatever he’d said was the funniest thing she’d ever heard. My heart broke.

—

It was snowing that afternoon when I ran into cecily on our way to class. Her hair was rumpled, little flakes of snow landing on her hair and eyelashes, and she was wearing a plaid button-down. Was that his shirt?

“Hey, Maya,” she said, grinning.

“Hey.”

“I have news.” No, I thought. Please don’t say it. “I hooked up with Nate in the Firestone stacks last night. We knocked over a row of books and terrified a poor librarian!” I winced.

Trying to hide my disappointment I said, “That’s hilarious,” but I wasn’t laughing.

“What’s wrong?” Cecily gave me a confused look.

“Nothing,” I said quickly. “It’s just—it’s been a long week.”

“Oh, it has, hasn’t it? Well, I think I’m going to bring him home for Christmas to meet my parents. I hope my dad goes easy on him. I’ve never introduced him to a Black guy before.” I frowned at her. She studied me. “This time of year must be hard, being so far from your sister. You’re more than welcome to join us for Christmas if you want. You could bring someone too. Maybe Kevin Francis? What do you think?” Cecily asked. The thought of being at the St.Clairs’ Christmas with Nate and Cecily made my head spin.

“No,” I said quickly. “I mean, thanks, but I have a lot of reading to catch up on over the break. I’m actually looking forward to staying on campus this year.”

“Okay, well, let me know if you change your mind.”

Holiday break came and most people went home to visit their families, leaving the campus quiet and the snow-covered quad undisturbed. Having sent all my extra money back to my sister, I planned on watching Christmas movies to pass the time. I was watching The Nightmare Before Christmas on my laptop and popping a bag of popcorn in the microwave when I heard something hit my window. Tap. I ignored it and had turned back to the movie when I heard it again. Tap. Annoyed, I paused the movie and walked over to the window.

To my surprise, waving from the ground below was Nate Banks. He threw another snowball at my window and it hit the glass with a clunk. My heart gave a little leap at the sight of him.

“What are you doing?” I yelled down to him.

“Change of plans, I’m back. Come down!” He grinned and threw another snowball. This time it hit the screen, spraying shards of snow into the room.

For the next two weeks, Nate and I saw each other every day. We shared hot apple cider in his dorm room, sledded down Whitman on dining hall trays, and ran to town in the middle of a snowstorm. Cecily would’ve been furious if anything happened. But we’re just friends, I told myself. We’re doing nothing wrong.

On the last night of winter break we were watching SNL and sharing a bottle of cheap wine when Nate moved his hand so it was barely touching mine. I could no longer focus on the screen.

Nate leaned over and whispered in my ear. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

Realizing my jaw had dropped, I closed it slowly and turned to face him.

Nate looked embarrassed. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have—” He moved back and pulled his hand away.

“No, no, it’s not—” I like you too, I wanted to say. But I couldn’t. I could barely breathe.

Was it my imagination or had he moved closer? He smelled of soap and sandalwood. His hazel eyes had tiny streaks of gold, and there was a tiny scar on his chin the shape of a fingernail-sized crescent. He was leaning in, about to kiss me, when without warning, I blurted out, “What about Cecily?”

“What about her?”

“Aren’t you guys dating?”

Nate shrugged. “We hooked up a few times, but we were never dating.”

I pulled away from him. “Didn’t you go home with her for Christmas?”

“I went for a night, because she told me it was a casual party with a lot of people. And when I got there, she acted like I was some kind of trophy she was bringing home to piss off her folks. I didn’t appreciate being used, and I told her that. Trust me. She knows it’s over.”

I hesitated. Even if that was the truth, I didn’t want to hook up with a friend’s ex…but on the other hand, I’d seen Cecily flirting with other guys. Daisy had said she wasn’t serious about Nate, and if things were reversed, would she really think twice about me?

Nate took my hand. His was warm and comforting. “Let me talk to her when she’s back. It’s going to be fine. I promise.”

Nate touched my bottom lip, and before I could stop myself, we were kissing. For a moment, the walls of the room seemed to vanish, and it was only the two of us, on this old futon in the middle of the snow-covered campus, and by the time my mind caught up to what my body was doing, it was far too late to stop.