Chapter Twenty-Six Maya

Chapter Twenty-Six

Maya

December 2011

One Thursday evening in December, I ran into Lila outside the library. It had snowed, and the campus was strangely quiet.

When Lila approached, I noticed that her eyes were lined and she was wearing her hair differently, pulled back to expose a scattering of freckles over her high cheekbones. It revealed something else too: a discolored spot of what looked to be concealer, layered over an angry purplish bruise near her temple. When she caught me staring, she quickly untucked a lock of hair from behind her ear and let it fall over her face.

“Hey, what are you doing tonight?” she asked, which took me by surprise because we weren’t exactly close.

“I’m supposed to go to some lingerie party in Daisy’s room. Why, what’s up?”

Lila raised her eyebrows. It took her a beat to answer, as if she were going to say something important, but then, as if she changed her mind, she said, “My friend’s band is playing at Terrace tonight. They’re pretty good. Wanna come?”

I told her it sounded fun, but I promised Daisy I’d be her wingwoman for the night.

Lila shrugged. “Well, let me know if you change your mind. We’ll be there all night.”

—

By the time I set off for the party, the temperature had dropped. The campus was frozen over, still and quiet, a glittering mix of snow and rain sweeping down from the sky, but the inside of Daisy and Kai’s suite felt like a sauna.

The scene was bacchanalian: the music dark and pulsing, the common area swarming with beautiful people in elaborate outfits: lingerie, slip dresses, unbuttoned shirts. It made me feel out of place in my black dress and heels.

“Maya,” Daisy slurred, and threw her arms around me. She was in a bustier with some sort of tutu on the bottom. “Take a picture with me!” She shoved a digital camera in a guy’s hands and we squeezed our faces together for a picture.

After a short exchange about how excited she was about tonight, Daisy giggled and ran off to greet someone else.

Spotting Kai in one corner of the room, I wandered in her direction, but it was hard to push through the tightly packed bodies. She turned away, and I realized she was talking to the guy I’d met, well, made out with on the dance floor on Gatsby Night. What was his name? Kevin? Their heads were bent close and he handed her something, which she quickly stuffed in her jacket pocket. Right, the Adderall dealer.

“Kai,” I shouted, and she looked up at me, surprised at first, but then her face spread into a grin.

“Hey, glad you made it.” She approached and raised her voice over the music. “A group of us are going to dim sum in the city next week. Are you around?” I was caught off guard. I knew about her monthly trips to the city with her closest friends, but this was the first time I’d gotten an invite to join.

“Oh, thanks,” I replied. “That sounds fun.”

Kai was telling me about the place they’d found, when over her shoulder I saw something strange: Alex Bain was sitting close to Cecily, his arm around her but in a possessive, domineering way…and… what was he doing? Lines of white powder were sectioned in front of him, a collection of pills nearby.

I went still as I watched them and time seemed to slow. Cecily leaned over the table, each vertebra protruding from her exposed spine. Was it me, or was there something depraved in the way Alex was watching her?

Now Daisy was with them too. My heart was racing. I wanted to go over there and yank her away. What was she thinking?

But I was frozen. My head spun. It was too hot in there.

“Woah.” A hand touched my arm, and I jumped. “Are you okay?” Kai asked.

I stared at Cecily and Alex, and then back at Kai, unsettled by the way she’d shoved something into her pocket minutes ago. I knew that some of the Sterling kids occasionally experimented with drugs, my friends included, but the amount out in the open at this party was way more than usual. There was a loud buzzing in my head. A warning. Whatever this was, I didn’t want any part of it. They could do whatever they wanted and if they got caught, their families would pick up the pieces, but if I was kicked out of school for something like this, it would ruin my life. Ruin Naomi’s.

I backed away from Kai. “Sorry—I need to go. I—”

“Maya, wait—where are you going?” she asked, but I was shoving my way toward the exit.

—

Outside, I exhaled a breath and leaned against the side of the building. It felt better to be out here, inhaling the crisp, cold air.

Pulling out my phone, I texted Lila: Is it too late to come to Terrace?

She responded right away. Not at all! So I pulled my jacket tight and ran in the direction of the eating clubs.

—

The vertically brown-striped tudor mansion was older-looking than some of the other eating clubs, and there were three flags flying over the door—a Pride flag, a skull and crossbones, and a peace sign. As I approached, Lila came into view, waiting for me outside. She was wearing a leather jacket and dark black eye shadow that made her green eyes look even more intense. Her hair was pulled back off her face, but I noticed she’d applied more concealer over the spot on her temple. I wanted to ask her about it, but something stopped me. We weren’t that close. It felt nosy. Intrusive.

“You made it just in time,” she said excitedly. “They’re starting.”

We entered the Terrace foyer, and I was struck by how different it was from Sterling Club. The White Stripes was playing, and the pungent smell of weed floated through the air as an eclectic mix of people milled about the space. We passed the living room where a guy played an acoustic guitar, and a girl with an Afro and tattoos sat on the lap of another girl, their fingers lovingly intertwined.

—

I followed Lila down a steep flight of stairs into the basement, where a band was playing. The space was small and tightly packed, the floor sticky with spilled beer, and the air humid, which made it feel even tighter and more intimate.

“That’s my friend,” Lila whispered, pointing at the girl on drums in an oversized plaid flannel. “Wooo, get it, Austin! Hell yeah,” she cheered loudly, and Austin gave her a smile.

They played a mellow alt-rock song, and a small crowd nodded to the beat. There was a guy on bass with long blue hair and a good-looking Black guy I recognized from my econ class on electric guitar.

The guitarist tossed his head back, letting his locs fall out of his eyes, and looked right at me. I felt a flicker of something before I averted my gaze. He was without a doubt the most attractive guy I’d ever seen. I studied his fingers as they moved effortlessly over the strings, trailed his strong forearms up to his broad shoulders.

I was watching the singer, a white girl with tattoos and a nose ring, as she leaned into the microphone and sang, “ If I had one night with you… ” when I sensed someone was watching me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that the guy on guitar was still looking at me, and when I met his eyes, he smiled.

I felt my face flush. Every week, he sat in the back of the lecture hall and didn’t say much, but he was always early, always typing notes on his laptop. One time a few weeks ago, he’d caught me staring at him and smiled, but we’d never spoken.

As snow fell outside, and his hazel eyes held mine, I felt a thrill that I’d never felt before.

“They’re good, right?” Lila asked.

“Yeah.” I took a sip of my beer, keeping my eyes on the guitarist, who’d looked down at his fingers to focus on a complicated riff. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. The way he played, the depth and precision of his movements, it was like he was pouring his entire soul into the song, and through the deep bass of the speakers, like it was pouring straight into me.

I pointed him out to Lila. “Do you know the guy on guitar?”

“Nate? Yeah, he’s a junior in Terrace.” She grinned as if reading my mind. “He’s really good, huh?”

—

The band finished their set and were by the bar when Lila and I approached. When she saw Lila, the drummer’s face lit up, and she swooped her into a hug.

“This is my friend Austin,” Lila said to me, grinning, an arm still around her friend’s waist. Austin was Lila’s opposite: curvy and broad-shouldered with olive skin, dark hair, and a nose piercing.

“Hey, I’m Maya,” I said, and Austin nodded at me with a knowing smile.

“You want one?” Nate held out an overflowing cup of beer. I wanted to reach for it, but I couldn’t move—I wasn’t prepared for how it would feel to be right next to him. I became aware of my heartbeat, my breath. Up close he was so good-looking it was hard to think straight.

“Sure,” I said, finally, and when he handed me the cup, our fingers brushed and I felt a rush of energy. He smiled warmly.

“Thanks,” I said, noticing how my skin felt hot where he’d touched me. I stared into his eyes: flecks of gold in a sea of green, swirling into a stunning hazel. Trying not to seem so obvious, I took a long sip of the beer, the crisp cold bubbles sliding down my throat. And, Oh jeez. Was there foam on my upper lip? I wiped at it with the back of my hand.

“Hey, Nate Banks. What’s good?” He extended a hand. His hand was warm and strong around mine. “I know you. You’re in Behavioral Econ, right? You sit in front and wear that same scarf every day. Went in on that dude last week.” He laughed.

I flushed, remembering how I’d gotten defensive about the topic—education and government spending. “Sometimes I wish someone would tell me to shut up,” I muttered, more to myself than to him.

He looked amused at my embarrassment. “No. He deserved it.” He touched his cup to mine in a toast. “It’s nice to officially meet you,” he said, and finally broke eye contact. I exhaled the breath I’d been holding.

“You too,” I said, and somewhere deep within me I felt a strange fluttering.

For the rest of the night, we danced near one another. We were so close that I was aware of the space between us, the warmth of my breath, and the way my skin tingled whenever our arms would brush. I closed my eyes, drinking it in. Whatever this was, I wanted more.