Chapter Fourteen Naomi

Chapter Fourteen

Naomi

October 2022, seven months before her death

Over the next few weeks, the news about the hunt scandal quiets to a trickle. Greystone has the best legal team—all alumni, some of the best lawyers in New York. They’ve no doubt launched a wide-scale PR cleanup campaign and gained control of the narrative already.

And, to my surprise, my feelings for Liam wane along with it. I knew when we broke up last spring he wasn’t okay. That it wasn’t normal for me to have to hide bottles of alcohol or pour them down the bathroom sink. I knew he drank to avoid dealing with his pain, and part of the way he treats me has to do with that too. Liam is still grieving. He needs space to heal.

—

Over the following weeks, Ben takes me to his favorite spots on campus: the reading nook with dappled light, the suspension bridge, the underground tunnels. He tells me about his family: his parents used their savings to send him to high school in the States and live with his uncle in Manhattan. Not everyone from Singapore is wealthy, he explains.

Last night, he brought out an old map with his home in Singapore circled in pencil and the places in Southeast Asia he’d traveled. We talked about his parents, and I told him how I lost mine. How Maya took the place of my mom but that just like a parent who’s never there, she doesn’t really know me. How she assumes my life was easy, growing up in Greenwich, going to private school. How we never really talk about the years I was in San Jose alone, when she left.

It’s the first time I’ve been so open and vulnerable with someone other than Liam, and I feel completely exposed. But Ben listens, quietly, and he doesn’t judge, and before long, I realize that I’m falling for him.

“This one’s called Relativity, ” Ben says. We’re studying in Firestone Library, and he’s looked up from his computer to show me a picture of an endless staircase.

“Isn’t that the poster in your room?”

He nods. “M. C. Escher. I could stare at it forever. Makes me think we’re those faceless guys, looking at our phones, walking up flight after flight of stairs, never going anywhere and totally unaware of the amazing world around us.”

I like the way his mind works—he’s smart but sensitive and doesn’t accept anything at face value. I like how creative he is, obsessed with abstract reasoning, numbers, and design. And as I go back to my reading, I wonder if this, whatever this is, counts as dating. It feels so easy, being with Ben, so—I don’t know—good, and it scares me.

—

It’s Friday night, and I promised Ben I’d go to his game after dance rehearsal. We’ve stopped by my room so I can get ready, and when we reach the door to my suite, he leans against the wall. “What time are you done?” As I search for my keys, he slips his hand under my shirt onto the small of my back.

I throw him a look. “Why, you need a pep talk before the game?” I tease.

He grins. “If that’s what you want to call it.”

The common area is dark when we enter: none of my roommates are home. Ben pulls me toward him, sliding his hand higher up the back of my shirt and unhooking my bra.

He’s kissing my neck, and I’m pulling off his shirt as we make our way down the dark hallway toward my room, and despite enjoying Ben’s body against mine, the gentle yet strong touch of his hands, I keep seeing flashes of Liam, remembering the last time we were together—the way he threw me against the wall and kissed me hard. Ben and I are on my bed when, hearing a noise, I stop abruptly.

“What was that?” I lift my head, listening into the silence. I could have sworn there was a voice coming from right outside the door.

“What?” Ben keeps his lips hovering over the skin on my neck as he speaks.

But I pull away. “Did you hear that?”

He looks at me, confused.

A few minutes later, there it is again. The creak of a bed frame, someone whispering. My roommates and I are all pretty good at letting one another know when one of us is having a guest over, but I hadn’t told them today. Zee said she was going to rehearsal early to work on her piece, and Amy’s practically been living in the library.

“Hold on.” I put a finger up to my lips and creep out to the hall. The walls are thin—maybe it’s the neighbors. But as I walk toward Amy’s room, the sounds grow louder. I’m not sure how I didn’t notice earlier, but Amy’s door is open a crack, light seeping into the dark hallway.

My shoulders relax. She’s private about who she’s dating, so maybe she’d secretly brought someone back. I’m about to look away when she shifts into my line of sight. To my surprise, she’s wearing lacy underwear, and her laptop is propped on the bed as if she’s on a video chat with someone. Feeling uncomfortable, I avert my gaze and tiptoe back to my room.

“Who was it?” Ben asks, when I shut the door quietly.

“Amy…She’s on the phone with someone…” I shrug. “It’s none of my business…I’m just kind of surprised.” I didn’t know she was dating anyone.

Ben grins. “I guess that means we have to be quiet, then.” And he leans in to kiss me again.