Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

MADELINE

This is incredible.

When Judy first mentioned going to the store last night to get balloons, streamers, ribbon, poster board, and all sorts of other items – it had surprised her. The shopping cart looked like a kindergartner's classroom had exploded within the basket, and she was a little taken aback to see so many people had the same idea as Judy. Maybe she was the one who didn't understand, and now it was obvious.

She hadn't comprehended what an event this was for so many families in the area, but she was certainly starting to get an inkling. The lines of traffic on the streets of the base were packed. Parking lots to buildings were full of cars hours before the first ship pulled into port. While the Navy Lodge was wonderful and quite private, with a spectacular view of the ocean – they were facing the wrong direction.

The staff at the front desk were extremely kind and explained that there were three main piers around the basin – and the carrier would pull in at the farthest location. So, this morning, after throwing down a brief breakfast that she barely tasted, they took the shuttle bus along with several others who were there for the same reason, heading for ‘C' pier.

Staring out the windows to the shuttle, she saw families with strollers, women walking in groups with others, and parents moving along down the sidewalks, all headed in one direction – theirs. Everyone was wearing patriotic colors, carrying balloons, holding poster boards, and she didn't feel so out of place anymore.

And was taken aback once more as she looked at the Bravo pier – or ‘B' pier where the first couple exited the shuttle bus. She expected a pier to look different, like maybe something out of a pirate movie. She'd heard of them, knew of them from news stories, but had never seen one this close before and it was not what she imagined. Instead of a long walkway like she saw at Neptune Beach or near St. Augustine, this was simply a concrete surface that stopped abruptly at the water.

Ground, meet Ocean.

There were no fences to keep anyone away from the water, but massive tie-downs unlike anything else she'd seen in her life. There was a stairway waiting near a small vehicle that obviously would be moving it forward when the ship arrived… and she smiled as she saw tugboats and a Coast Guard vessel in the distance leading in a smaller ship that was among several others – and froze. There, on the horizon, toward the very back of the fleet of ship was a gray monolith that had to be the carrier.

As the shuttle drove around to ‘C' pier, she saw the expansive crowd was already gathering in anticipation. Climbing out of the shuttle, she was given a business card .

"When y'all are ready, just give me about thirty minutes to get back here because of the traffic, and I'll come pick you up," the driver offered with a knowing smile as Madeline nodded mutely.

This was a lot to witness in person.

Staring across the water, she could see families waving in the distance as the ship grew closer and closer, basically ‘parallel parking' along the pier. There were flags draped from masts on the ship, and she could see the line of white uniforms along the deck in the distance right before she heard a roar of cheering erupt. Another ship was in the distance, even bigger than the other one, pulling up to ‘B' pier.

A ripple waved through the crowd just as Judy began tapping her fervently on the arm. Madeline craned her neck, looking in the same direction everyone else was and let out a slow whistle under her breath. The carrier was coming in next, and it was staggering to behold.

Even from a distance, she could see that it was also decorated like the other two ships, a frigate and a destroyer, that she overheard from nearby. A line of white forms ran the length of the massive ship, fanned out, with their hands behind their backs. Some were in white uniforms with round ‘Dixie Cup' hats on their heads, others were in blue coveralls with baseball caps, and others wore white dress shirts, white pants, and hats that looked like they belonged to the captain of The Love Boat from old re-runs she'd seen on television. The airplanes were lined up neatly on the very top deck. It was all just so overpowering to witness firsthand, and she understood why Judy kept urging her to attend.

Suddenly, the tugboats that had been guiding the destroyer in took off toward the carrier .

"Here we go!"

"They're coming!"

"Wave, honey!"

"I see Daddy – look up there – do you see him?"

Women were shouting, waving, and urging their children to look at the ship as it drew closer and closer, looming before them. How did something so big even stay afloat? It was like watching a small city come floating directly to you.

"It's amazing to see, isn't it?" Judy asked, lacing her arm with Madeline's, hugging it in excitement.

"This is incredible," she breathed, her heart pounding in her chest. Her eyes strained to see if she could find Noah – and she knew every person on the pier was doing the exact same thing at that moment.

Another burst of screams, shouts, applause, and excitement sounded in the distance, causing her to look toward ‘B' pier where the destroyer had docked. Men and women in uniform were flooding onto the pier and into the crowds, finding their person who was waiting for them. Just seeing it brought tears to her eyes. It was overwhelming and emotional, seeing and knowing what each of them had gone through.

For them, it had been six months; for her, it was barely two. Those people were in love, deserved to be there, were blessed to be greeting a family member who had been gone serving their country, and she felt like a charlatan in that moment.

She hardly knew Noah.

They were barely married on paper.

The only one out of the two of them that deserved to be here was Judy. It was too late to back out now because she was here. Noah knew it, and Judy was standing beside her, looped arm-in-arm, making her feel almost a sort of trapped paranoia combined with elated joy for something she didn't understand fully.

"Do you see him yet?" Judy asked excitedly. "He should be up there by the planes, I think…"

Obligingly, Madeline's eyes scanned the enormous ship looking for a needle in a haystack. They were all dressed alike. Their hats looked similar. Most faces were clean shaven, a few had mustaches, several more had dark brown squarish glasses and she hesitated.

She met Noah's eyes. Those eyes that haunted her dreams secretly were there before her, just like she'd imagined so many times. An upturned smile touched his lips as their gaze held silently.

Tears burned behind her eyes as she swallowed a lump in her throat. Raising a slight hand, she waved and saw his smile widen, looking almost proud and excited to see her. Lowering her trembling hand, she covered her mouth to hold back a sob.

Why was she crying, for Pete's sake?!

"Oh, I see him!" Judy called out, hugging her quickly and then waving frantically like it would make the ship pull in quicker or make herself stand out in the frantic crowd that was waving pompoms, shaking balloons, rattling noisemakers, and holding up posters that said, ‘Welcome Home' all over them.

A honk startled all of them as the mooring lines were tossed toward sailors on the pier – and a green conveyance that looked almost like a modified forklift was rolling steps with a massive gangplank toward the ship.

Madeline heard a faint whistle, followed by a round of applause, as one man dressed in coveralls stepped forward. He saluted one of the men, someone she assumed was the captain of the ship, and shook his hand. A moment later, the sailor turned and jumped onto the gangplank before it met the side of the ship like something out of the cartoons. This raw excitement to be home caused a ripple of laughter among everyone as the sailor ran down the stairs colliding with a woman who was holding a baby. The two embraced as the sailor passionately kissed her. Reporters and news crews pushed through the crowd to get footage of it only to hear a massive cheer rise up.

"This is it!" Judy hissed – and a flood of white uniforms began to flow out of the ship and down the gangplank causing a frenzy surrounding them. "Let's move over here because everyone is going to rush those stairs."

She looked up to see Noah was waiting – and then pointed slightly to her right. Nodding, she understood that he was headed that way to meet them. If her heart was beating hard earlier, it was nothing compared to the wild drumming inside of her chest right now.

What was she going to do? Let him make the first move? Do I hug him? Kiss him in front of his mother? Would Judy hug him first? How did this all work? Was there some sort of weird protocol that you were supposed to follow?

"Breathe, honey…" Judy whispered beside her as Madeline spotted Noah making his way to them in the crowd. He was darting around families that were already in the process of reuniting and avoiding getting caught between others.

It was sheer chaos around them— beautiful, emotional chaos.

And then Noah was there, standing before her. His eyes were glassy with emotion, and she was trying not to break down, still not understanding why she was getting so overwhelmed. It was just so good to see him in person, to know that it wasn't some figment of her imagination, and…

"Mom, excuse me for a second…"

Noah's voice was hoarse as he took a step toward Madeline. He held her gaze as a trembling hand reached up slowly to touch her cheek. A hot tear slipped from her right eye, splashing onto his hand as time seemed to stand still. He stood there before her, not saying a word, slowly lowering his face toward hers, only to have them bump noses as someone crashed into Noah's back - hard.

"Oh, man! Sorry, bro!" a guy exclaimed, running off.

They met each other's eyes and chuckled for a brief moment before Noah leaned into her again. His lips were soft, warm, and felt so good. She breathed in the smells wrapping around her soul. The salt air, a faint whiff of cologne that was clean and sharp, combined with the scents of fuel, exhaust, and so many other things. She was memorizing this moment, taking it all in while her arms blindly encircled his waist. He pulled her closer to him in an embrace that felt long overdue – and strangely so very right.

"All right, all right, you two," Judy said beside them, causing the two of them to pull apart guiltily. Noah flashed her a nervous smile, releasing Madeline slightly but clinging to her hand as he turned to hug his mother. Judy had tears of joy on her cheeks as she whispered something to him before letting him go and patting him on the cheek. "You look so good, boogie."

"Oh geez, Mom…" Noah chuckled sheepishly, his face turning slightly reddish with embarrassment as Judy winked at her, laughing.

"When kids turn thirteen or so, suddenly your parents become soooo embarrassing," the older woman retorted dramatically. "There will be plenty of time to talk, kiss, or whatever, but right now, I want to sit down over a nice brunch and hear all the details of your deployment. Then maybe I'll get a nap or relax on the beach for a while so you kids can get it out of your system."

"Mom!"

"Judy!"

Both exclaimed in embarrassed unison at the woman's bold statement – only to see her shrug.

"You both act like I've never had a husband who was out on deployment. You're standing here, aren't you? Trust me – I know how this works. You see all of these people around us," Judy laughed, extending a hand in a sweeping arc. "They are all thinking the same thing, and about nine months from now, there are going to be a lot of babies born at the N.A.S. Jax hospital just over the St. John's River."

"I don't think it's quite like that," Madeline began nervously. Her face could not get any redder at this moment, and she glanced up at Noah – only to see him looking off to the left with a strange look on his face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he replied evasively. "One of the aviators in my group is hugging his son over there. I didn't realize how much Orion's son has grown since I last saw him."

"I'm sure he's happy to see him. Oh, I think I see the shuttle for the hotel," Judy interrupted happily, waving toward the shuttle to get the driver's attention.

Madeline felt Noah shift his hand slightly where it was holding hers, only to lace their fingers together. He pulled her hand up to his mouth and kissed the back of her knuckles, nodding slightly.

"I'm really glad you're here," he whispered softly – and she nearly melted. When was the last time someone was actually glad to see her or missed her? It meant a lot just to hear those words, so much so that she was getting that stupid lump in her throat once again. Nodding silently, she just smiled at him as they followed Judy to the shuttle.

Brunch was wonderful in a way Madeline couldn't have ever imagined. The three of them were sitting around a table, laughing, talking, and enjoying what felt like a decadent meal. There were tables all around them piled high with waffles, fried seafood, massive bloody Marys that were adorned with all sorts of things on a skewer, and the atmosphere was buoyantly happy.

"How long are you here for, Mom?" Noah asked politely, refilling Madeline's coffee cup, his mother's, and then his own without asking or being prompted. Flashing him a quick smile of silent thanks, she saw the corner of his lip curl upward at his simple nod.

He was looking out for her – and it was so nice.

Swoon… and I've lost count at this point, she mused, trying not to rest her chin on her knuckles or sigh loudly like some infatuated woman. It was getting harder to keep things ‘friendly' when she really wanted him to kiss her again. It was a weird thing to be a part of because everything in her kept thinking, ‘no – take this slow,' but being around Noah was like watching two puzzle pieces suddenly connect perfectly. I'm trying to drag my heels and keep my wits about me. I swear it.

"Well, my car is being held for ransom to the tune of fifty bucks a day in a parking garage downtown in New York City," Judy began, chuckling and reaching for a packet of sugar. "We're both flying out on Sunday, and then I will leave from there, driving back to Memphis. "

"Oh."

Noah's voice was quiet and there was no taking back that unsettled exclamation that slipped past him. Madeline was only going to get to see him for a couple of days – and that was it.

"I'm sorry," Madeline whispered automatically – except she didn't know why she was apologizing. She felt guilty about leaving him here not long after getting off the ship, but she had to get back and start earning money. The bills were coming in and without having a steady income, it was scary. "I have to go."

"I know," he said quietly, looking away. "I just didn't realize it was so soon."

"Noah…"

"Hey," he smiled brightly – a little too brightly. "Let's just enjoy this incredible meal, and then maybe we can walk along the beach. The turtles aren't laying nests yet, so we don't have to worry about disturbing them."

"I think I'm going to need a nap," Judy said openly, yawning. "Talk about a carb coma. I don't think I need a second helping of hashbrowns. Who's idea was that anyhow?"

"Yours," Noah retorted, laughing. "You ordered the extra side."

"So I did," she smiled and put her napkin on the table. "I'm going to run to the restroom. Excuse me."

"Of course," Madeline said demurely as she walked away – and Noah turned to her a moment later.

"I'm really glad you are here," he admitted openly. "I'm just not ready to have everyone leave again so quickly. I apologize if I made you feel bad."

"You didn't. It's just a very odd situation that we're in."

"What do you mean? "

"We're just getting to know each other and yet acting like we're married or in a long-term relationship…"

"We are married," he hesitated, looking at her warily. "I want to figure this out and work at it. I know we are still getting to know each other, but that doesn't mean we are strangers. We can learn each other's habits, quirks, and…"

"And what if it doesn't work out?" she whispered fearfully, not holding back as the waiter came to lay down the check. Noah grabbed it immediately, not answering her, and dug out his wallet without question. "Noah?"

"Look," he said softly, lowering his voice and looking at her. "If you've got doubts or nervous about our relationship, than that's on me. I'm screwing something up somewhere, and I'll fix it – but I'm not giving up on this. I believe people are led to where they are meant to be, and that brought me to you."

She blinked at the intensity of his hushed voice combined with the words he was saying to her. No one had ever been so open, so willing to accept the blame for something. Usually, it was the other way around. Old boyfriends usually said that it was her fault their relationship failed. They sure didn't promise to try harder.

"We got married, not once but twice , and I cannot get you out of my head," he admitted intimately. "I just need you to not give up or get frustrated with me. I want to make this work between us." At her silence, he looked over his shoulder for a second to see who was nearby before scooting closer to her chair and lowering his voice.

"I want to get to know you better, for us to build a relationship together based on friendship and, someday - love. I want to touch you, to make you feel good…"

Madeline sucked in her breath and glanced around to see if anyone was listening to such boldness coming from Noah right now.

"I've dreamed of dropping little kisses all over your stomach like I did in Egypt, imagined you touching me, holding me close, or whispering that you want me when we are alone," he breathed, leaning even closer to her as he spoke softly beside her ear, tracing the shell intimately as his words raced down her spine. "I know I probably should keep this to myself, but you are an incredible person on the inside and out, so why would I ever take a chance in letting you go or screwing up things between us?"

Madeline caught her breath, shivering at the feelings blossoming inside her at the touch of his fingers against her skin. He backed away from her slowly, and she stared at his face, marveling at the way he seemed to be affected as much as she was.

"I'm never going to hurt you," he promised softly. "But I do want us to find our way to each other – and I think that begins with letting go of how and saying what neither of us is brave enough to say aloud."

Was he saying that he loved her?

Her eyes shot to his at that moment. No way – this was too soon. They were clinging to a single moment of desperation that had brought out the best and the worst of people, of them, and letting that run wild in their imaginations, or at least that is what she kept telling herself repeatedly these last two months.

"Noah…" she breathed.

"I want to learn how to make you feel loved and special by me – and to show you what I feel too."

Swoon number thirty?

Forty?

Madeline was sitting there beside him, his arm on the back of her chair, while his thumb rubbed her cheek softly in a slow caress. Anyone looking at them would think it was a sweet, sensitive moment between a couple of lovers, and they would never imagine how wrong yet strangely accurate it was between them.

"I want to be that scared couple that rushed through a wedding but finding comfort and strength in each other," he whispered, leaning toward her and touching his forehead to hers. "I can't tell you what it meant to me to have you write and text me. I wasn't alone. I had a person that made me feel like a hero, made me feel special, and…"

"Your mother is coming," she choked out, withdrawing because having a conversation like this was too emotional, too intimate in the middle of a dining room over brunch.

"Can we talk later… openly?"

"I d-don't know," she swallowed, her voice hoarse as she met his eyes. "I've never… I don't… I'm scared of this," she finally strangled out just as Judy walked up.

"Hey, y'all. Don't you look cute? Hold on, and let me get a photo of the two of you," she began, digging out her cell phone. Noah leaned forward and whispered into Madeline's ear once more.

"Don't be scared. I want you to feel safe with me," and then Noah leaned away, tossing a smile at his mother. "Can you take a couple and text them to us both?"

"Of course!"

What was happening? How was he this casual when Madeline wasn't sure she could walk at this very moment? The man went from handsome to heartthrob in two seconds flat, and that was dangerous in ways that didn't scare her.

It was thrilling.