Chapter 15

S alem slammed into his office, shutting the door with force, and didn't feel any better for either action. He dropped heavily into his chair and just sat there, fuming.

How fucking dare Gregori go off on him. They weren't in a relationship, they were fuck buddies at best, so Gregori had no right to?—

Well, except they kinda were. Dammit. Gregori had made a very valid point earlier. He was the one Salem lived with. He was the one Salem had regular sex with. Even if they weren't in a true relationship, they still had a mutual understanding, which made Salem the ass in this equation.

If he'd actually been flirting, which he hadn't .

Goddammit.

His office door jerked open.

Salem sat upright immediately, a protest poised on the tip of his tongue. He expected Gregori, coming in for round two, but it wasn't. It was Alexis.

Who, oddly, seemed mad at him.

"What?!" he snapped at her.

Alexis kicked the door closed behind her, hands on hips, and glared right back at him. "You are such an asshole."

"How am I the asshole?! It's Gregori who's seriously overstepping boundaries!"

Alexis locked eyes with him, brows coming together in a frown. A he can't be this stupid frown. "You've got a doctorate, so supposedly you're a smart person, but I swear to god, love is making you stupid."

"Whoa, whoa, I'm not in love with him."

Alexis ignored him and kept talking. "Salem. You were flirting with someone right in front of Gregori. Of course he's upset with you. I'm upset with you and I'm not even part of this relationship!"

Everything in his head screeched to a halt. "Did it…really look like I was flirting?"

His best friend's face suggested he was losing his few remaining IQ points quickly.

"Uh…duh? Because you were."

"I wasn't! It was only banter!"

Alexis kept staring, like a woman waiting for him to start making sense.

"No, seriously. I mean, I could tell he was attracted, but I wasn't trying to flirt back. I'm not going to hook up with him. What would be the point? Um." Looking back on it now, with hindsight doing the bulk of the work, it was obvious to see where he misstepped. "I guess I should have just shut him down."

"Ya think?"

"Can you not hit me with sarcasm while I'm still processing the fact I was an idiot?"

"Let me think about it…no. No, I cannot. Sarcasm is how I'm currently coping."

Yeah, okay, fair. He'd likely be doing the same in her shoes.

But if it had looked like he was flirting even though he really wasn't, then…shit. Gregori had justifiably flown off the handle. Dragons were possessive even on the best of days, but with their current relationship limbo, naturally he was more sensitive than usual.

Salem flopped back in his chair, groaning. Okay, he'd fucked up.

"You need to fix this, Salem," Alexis insisted. "I refuse to stand here and watch while you blow a good thing up."

"How?" Salem didn't lift his head, he just felt exhausted all of a sudden. Like he'd been carrying around a weight and it had finally gotten around to crushing him.

"What do you mean how?"

"I mean just that. How? How do you propose I fix this? He only wants to hear one thing, Lexy."

Her outrage dwindled, concern coming more to the fore. "Are you guys not properly talking?"

"Heh. That's a mild way of putting it."

Salem felt a migraine coming on and felt the distinct need to put himself on a drip. This whole situation was giving him quite the headache.

Seeing she wasn't budging or satisfied with his answer, Salem put more effort into framing this insanity into words.

"Look, Gregori is absolutely positive I'm his mate. He might be right. He's explained to me how he's so sure, how mates work, and I'm…inclined to think he might be right. But I don't know if I want him to be."

Alexis promptly drew out his visitor chair and plonked herself into it. "Why not?"

"Because it means throwing my world topsy-turvy. You know that thing Redditors will tell you to never, ever do? That's what he wants from me. He wants me to quit my job here and move to Brazil. You know how hard I've worked for the past fifteen years to get my degree, my own place. Now I have it, and I'm supposed to just give it up? Everyone ends up leaving me eventually, you know how hard I am to live with, so upending my entire life for a relationship that probably won't survive three months doesn't even make sense."

Alexis didn't have an immediate answer for him. She stared at the floor for a long moment.

"You see?"

"I do, but I don't. Salem, you are perfectly capable of sustaining a committed relationship."

He snorted in disbelief.

"No, seriously, I know the ex-boyfriends you had convinced you otherwise. But they were also asshats."

A startled laugh escaped his mouth before he realized it. "I mean, they were, I can't argue that point."

"Look, I've lived with you for a month. Remember? When the pipes in my apartment burst and I stayed with you?"

"Oh yeah…yeah, I do."

"I didn't feel the urge to kill you even once."

This was news to Salem. Of course, they'd been so focused on fixing her situation so she could move back into her apartment, they'd not had the mental energy to argue. That was what he'd always chalked it up to, anyway. "You really didn't find me impossible to live with?"

"I really didn't. Also, you know that age old saying? If you wouldn't accept someone's advice, don't accept their criticism."

"Well, now, put like that, and I seem like the idiot for taking any of my exes' words to heart."

"You said it, not me." Alexis lifted her head, searching his face. "Salem. You can't leave this status quo as it is."

"I know."

"Do you? This man is throwing everything he has into this relationship. If you don't want him, you have to make it clear."

"I've been making it clear since day one I don't want a long-term relationship." This was NOT on him. Salem had always been adamant.

She was back to looking at him like he was missing brain cells. "Your mouth is saying the words, sure. But you're still regularly having sex with him, you let him live with you, and he's bringing you lunches on a regular basis."

Erk. Okay, Alexis had him there.

"Look, I'm not blaming you. I've seen how charming he is, and from all accounts the sex is fantastic ?—"

Even that felt like an understatement.

"—and having a gorgeous man who cooks for you on a regular basis would make anyone swoon. Plus, from what you've said, you're even going out on dates. Dates that go well. I get it, okay? I understand why it's really hard to look into those dark brown eyes and say no. My willpower would crumble too."

Salem nodded fervently. Exactly. That was exactly the issue. He had a hard time saying no when Gregori was being so sexy and charming. How did you say no to his face and stick to your guns?

"But, Salem, you've got to make a decision here. Either commit to him fully or break up. Limbo-land just drags the inevitable out. And causes issues like today."

Salem winced. She had him there. If he and Gregori were being more honest with each other, moments like today wouldn't have happened. He did feel guilty. Maybe he should have shut the guy down immediately once he'd figured out it was flirtatious. Salem hadn't seen the harm at the time, as he wasn't interested, but from the outside it likely hadn't looked that way. That much was on him.

To Alexis, at least, he could speak his mind without other factors clouding the main issue. "Honestly, I feel like my emotions are in limbo too. My brain is telling me this is a really bad idea. But I keep thinking, with every day Gregori lives with me, that this isn't really so bad. We do get along great day-to-day. I just don't know which one to listen to, head or heart. Listening to my heart usually gets me in trouble."

"I don't think it would this time. Gregori's a far better man than anyone else you've ever dated."

"Heh. I mean, that's true, but also not much of a challenge. I seem to draw in the shitheads." Salem wiped a hand over his face before tacking on, "There's another possible wrinkle. And it's the other reason why I'm hesitating.

"He says he's willing to live with me here but…ice dragon. Even Gregori's admitted to me that dragons have never lived outside of their clan. Emotionally, physically, I don't know if he can do it long term."

"Like a guinea pig?"

"Maybe? I know he's been anxious and trying to hide it from me. I think this is already impacting him, but he won't admit as much to me."

"Because he's afraid you'll break things off and force him home."

Salem shrugged, the thought bitter. "Yeah. Probably. What am I supposed to do? I don't want him to go back, I'm selfish enough to like having him with me. But I don't want to commit to something that's going to take me to a whole other continent. I don't feel like I have a choice, either, which grates."

"Knowing how independent you are? I bet." Alexis shifted in her chair, still frowning. "Okay, I see the problem. Problems, really. Still, it looks to me as if you really like him."

It felt like a concession to say the words out loud, for some reason, even if Gregori wasn't around to hear them. "I do really like him."

"Then the two of you have got to get on the same page. All advice you'll get boils down to this point."

Salem couldn't disagree. It was the main issue here.

He felt horrible about hurting Gregori, too. Maybe this called for some of Gregori's favorite takeout and make-up sex before they had a conversation. As much as the man drove him nuts, Salem still didn't want to call it quits.

But if there was an easy answer to this, Salem sure didn't see it.