Chapter 4

Chapter Four

T hey say that certainty is the calm before the storm, but Taylor was feeling anything but confident as she carefully peeled the gift wrap away from the handle of what was obviously a cane. She already had a few, but, as she got the last of it off, she saw that this one had a built-in flashlight.

“Thank you,” she said as Alice and Sam beamed, waiting on her approval.

It was a nice gesture, but she wanted to be done with canes, walkers, and, of course, the wheelchair. She didn’t need to start a collection. The sooner she could get back to full, physical abilities, the better. She’d spent the day avoiding the chair, and now she was paying for it. Her body was aching and weak, and her mind was on bedtime. She hoped it would be an easy night getting Lennon to sleep. As much as she loved their ritual of being in the rocking chair together, Taylor singing lullabies and then whispering into her ear until she drifted off to sleep.

The next gift was better. It was the rubber boots she’d seen at Tractor Supply and admired. She called them muck boots and they all wore them around the kennels and other places on the farm. It was an unspoken challenge with all of them to wear fun patterns and styles.

“Perfect,” she said, holding them up.

“Not sure why you want to wear boots with pictures of barns and cows on them,” Sam teased. “I hope we won’t be getting into the cattle business.”

She laughed. “No, but they didn’t have any with goats or dogs!”

Sam smiled and urged Alice to open the rest of the presents that were piled up in front of her. He’d gone a bit overboard, but Taylor probably had, too.

Alice was just such a great kid and so easy to please.

“What is this one?” Alice picked up a small box and held it to her ear, shaking it gently.

“Something you’ve requested …” Sam teased. “But something that comes with a lot of rules.”

That hint did it. Alice shrieked and tore into the wrapping, quickly pulling out the latest Smartphone to hit the market.

Taylor wasn’t too thrilled that, now, Alice might become one of the teenagers who kept their face glued to the screen, discarding books or interacting with their family, or nature. But Sam had assured her that he’d installed very serious parental parameters and would limit her screen time.

Thankfully they had a lot of years before they had to worry about Lennon interacting with the worldwide net of nutters. She was currently entertaining herself laying on her back under her new kick and play activity gym. It was crazy how long it had taken them to choose just the right one, before settling on the one that bragged different levels of learning with more than eighty-five songs, sounds, or phrases. Taylor secretly hoped that Lennon might be the first in her family to have some sort of musical ability.

Alice tore into another gift—this one the new book series she’d asked for—and with one hand surfing through Diesel’s hair for comfort, Taylor glanced at her phone.

Still no return message from Shane. Obviously, he was busy with the investigation, but she wanted to be in on it.

Word had spread fast, and now she knew that it was Jane and Willis, and their son Seth and his wife. Taylor knew Jane well from the post office when it was her turn to pick up the departmental mail. Jane was a good woman, and Taylor didn’t know Will that well, but had only ever heard commendable things about him.

Their son, Seth, was in construction and had a solid reputation around town for being good at carpentry and fair on his prices. It was hard to get good tradesmen these days, to show up and do what they say they would for the price agreed upon, but Seth had never been hit with bad reviews on the community Facebook page, like most of the others.

To imagine four adults from their little community just gone in the blink of an eye …

“Taylor, back to earth …” Sam said.

She turned to him and smiled. “I’m here.”

“No, not really. I know where your mind is, and you can’t get involved right now. You and I both know that your health isn’t up to par,” he said, keeping his voice low. Alice had gone over to play with Lennon and was in the middle of pretending to eat her feet, creating a huge smile on the baby’s face. She adored her big sister. Anytime they couldn’t get her to stop crying, all they had to do was hand her to Alice. At only fourteen years old, Alice had more experience handling babies than most anyone Taylor knew.

“No, I was thinking about Lucy. Still haven’t heard from her, and mom said she hasn’t either.” It was kind of true; her youngest sister had been on her mind that morning .

“Well, you know how she can be. I wouldn’t worry too much.”

“I’m just gonna walk over and see if she’s at the cabin,” Taylor said as she stood, reaching for the new cane. “Will you watch out for Lennon? She just nursed a while ago so she should be good until I get back.”

“Of course. You don’t have to ask me to watch out for my own kid, Taylor,” Sam said, winking at her. “Hurry back though, because we’ll miss you.”

“I’ll go with you,” Alice said, jumping up from her place on the floor beside Lennon.

“Come on, then,” Taylor said. Alice was just as protective of her as Sam, both of them thinking she couldn’t venture around outside alone yet, in case she stumbled.

They got on their jackets and gloves, and Alice held the door. Diesel led the way out. The first blast of cold air felt refreshing. Taylor was so tired of being kept inside. Carefully, they made their way down the porch steps, holding on to the railing to keep from slipping.

Sam or someone had shoveled the walkways, so it wasn’t too hard to make it to Lucy’s cabin across the way. Actually, the whole farm looked nicely kept, the white snow glistening all around, paths marked with candy canes and red bows and lights hanging on the fencing.

“Ooh … it’s so pretty out here,” Alice said, like she hadn’t been in and out all day for the last week. Taylor is the one who hadn’t had a chance to see everything, her mobility keeping her indoors too much.

Ellis and Sam had decorated their biggest tree that stood near the barn, and it stood tall and proud to be adorned with red and silver ornaments, sparkly white lights.

It truly was amazing to look around at everything they’d built over the last few years. Her once battled homestead with just a house and a lot of untamed land around it was now something they were all proud of, and grateful to have. Not only the cabins that Lucy, Jo, and Cecil lived in, but also their building for the boarding business, the barns for the rescue animals, and all the sheds and corrals put together with many hands, and even more hopes for the dream they had all built together.

Why couldn’t she be happy with just all this? Why did she feel like no matter how much she did, it was never enough? For some reason, this wasn’t enough to fill the deep well of her longing to do more, to protect and serve, and prove to everyone that she was much more than she’d began her life as.

Would she ever stop feeling like the poor, motherless kid who had to claw her way through her childhood? Her therapist said that feeling shame if she found herself relaxing was a trauma response.

“You’re not more worthy of love as a result of working yourself to death, Taylor,” she’d ended their session with.

If only it was that easy to just turn off that part of herself. To let go and enjoy this time with Lennon, and Alice. Embrace the slower pace and let herself take in every second of motherhood, before she went back to work. Cate had already offered to watch Lennon on the days that both Sam and Taylor worked the same hours. Thinking of leaving her baby made Taylor sad on one hand, but, on the other, it felt like the most responsible thing to do.

“Her curtains are closed,” Alice said, jolting Taylor out of her deep thought. They’d arrived at Lucy’s house and her car was in the driveway.

Hmm … the curtains looked more than closed. The windows all appeared to have something over them, blacking out the view of the inside. She suddenly felt uneasy.

“Alice, I want you to go get Sam,” she said.

She didn’t want to put Alice into any danger .

“No way,” Alice said, the lines on her forehead furrowing sharply. “I’m staying with you. What’s wrong?”

Taylor tried to smile. “Probably nothing. I’m just being weird.”

She climbed the porch stairs and went to the door, trying the handle. It was locked. She knocked, and they waited. No one came so Taylor knocked again, this time louder.

“Lucy, are you in there?” she shouted, banging her fist on the glass of the door.

They heard someone talking. Alice looked at her, wide-eyed.

Johnny was in there.

Taylor banged on the door again. “Lucy, I know you’re in there. Open the door or I’ll have Sam break it down!”

They heard Lucy yell at Johnny just before she jerked the door open.

“What do you want?”

She looked rough, her hair a matted mess and her face drawn and pale. Behind her, Johnny stood with an empty bag of Cheetos. He looked like he’d been crying.

Alice ran to him and knelt down, hugging him close before leading him to his bedroom. Taylor stepped in and waited for her eyes to adjust.

It was dark inside, but you could still see that the whole cabin looked a mess. The tiny kitchen was unkempt, stacks of dirty dishes on the counter among cereal boxes and other junk food containers. Blankets and pillows were strewn on the floor in front of the television. Rumpled and ripped wrapping paper scattered about. At least Johnny had opened his gifts.

It looked like they’d been camping out there for a while. Taylor was shocked to realize that the windows were covered with black trash bags tucked in behind the rods. And strangely, even the large decorative mirror over the sofa was covered with a bag, too.

She turned to Alice. “Get Johnny’s coat and boots on and take him to our house. I need some time with Aunt Lucy, okay?”

Alice nodded solemnly. She was smart, and knew something was terribly wrong.

When Johnny was bundled up and they were out the door, Taylor noticed the mouse traps. There must’ve been fifty or more, all set and lined up against the back of the countertops, around the table and perimeters of the living room and kitchen walls, and all the way down the hallway.

Not a one of them had been activated. No mice. Just a lot of peanut butter blobs.

Taylor felt a wave of dizziness and she clutched the cane. She turned to Lucy again.

“Okay, this is what is going to happen. I’m going to stay calm, but you’d better start talking and tell me what the hell is going on.”