Chapter 19

NINETEEN

SOPHIE

“Are you sure this is sanitary?”

Ella’s cocked eyebrows and the hesitation in her voice made Sophie crack up. How could Ella, a Seattle native, have never planted a fat one on the wall? “It’s literally the least thing from being sanitary.” Sophie chuckled. “You’re looking at a decade’s worth of saliva. I mean, spit dries, right, but think of the sheer amount of germs attached to this wall.”

“Not sure I want to think of that.” Ella’s jaw worked overtime on the three pieces of bubblegum Sophie gave her as she studied the wall. “It’s kind of pretty if you take out the whole bodily-fluid part of the equation.”

“Agreed.” The gum wall, tucked away in an alley outside of Pike Place Market, was pretty in its own way. Colorful blobs of pinks, blues, and greens laced the brick, chunks and layers of gum dripped from the surface. A few years ago, when the sugar from the gum started corroding the brick, the city had scraped it off, apparently gathering over two thousand pounds of gum. Sophie remembered being so bummed to hear about the city cleaning the area. The wall was iconic, part of the heartbeat of the city, and shouldn’t be bare. Thankfully for locals and tourists, but probably not for the maintenance crew, it filled back up pretty quickly.

After leaving work early, Sophie wasn’t sure why the gum wall was the first thing that popped in her mind. But after learning about Ella over this last month, and her severely limited life experiences, Sophie wanted to show her everything. Sophie loved her city. And Ella appreciated Seattle, but only knew it from afar. She didn’t know what made Seattle, well, Seattle. She didn’t know what it was like to stand outside of the El Corazón music venue amongst the smell of hot dog vendors and marijuana. She had never been to the International District, besides the fancy places, and eaten the best pho in the city at a hole-in-the-wall restaurant. She’d never sat under the Alaskan Way Viaduct on top of a truck, listening to the sounds of the city and sharing a 40 with friends.

“Who ever thought of this in the first place?” Ella asked, moving aside for a few tourists.

“Rumor has it gum wasn’t allowed in the theater, so people would stick it on the wall. Not sure how that continued to grow, though.” Sophie popped a fourth piece in her mouth, chewing until the gum broke apart.

Ella winced. “Isn’t your jaw sore yet?”

“My jaw has more stamina than you could imagine.” She meant it as a joke. But the heat in between them sparked.

Ella stopped chewing, her gaze dropping to Sophie’s jawline.

“You ready?” Sophie dug out her cell phone from her pocket. “We have to take a selfie, obviously. Especially as a gum-wall virgin.” Sophie spit the gum into her palm.

Ella pinched the gum between her fingers. “Okay, ready.”

“One, two, three!” Sophie pushed the gum into the wall and snapped photos as Ella squealed and ground the gum into the wall with her thumb.

“Ewww.” Ella giggled and wiped her finger on her pants. “Okay, now that we crossed that off the proverbial bucket list, what’s next?”

So many things… Sophie’s grin dropped as she studied Ella, the freckles above her nose, the tiny curve below her earlobe, the dark eyes that captured Sophie, the voice that shook her core. The pale cheeks that looked so ridiculously soft that she wanted to feel the cotton skin under her fingertips. She needed to know more about this woman who’d morphed from a solid pain in the ass to someone she wanted to show the world to.

Sophie tucked a swatch of hair behind Ella’s ear and really, really looked at her. Smart, strong, bold, feminine. Ella captured Sophie with her strength, with her humor, and with her heart.

Ella inched forward, her eyes flickering between Sophie’s, her tongue swiping her bottom lips. She laid her hands on Sophie’s hips and tugged her closer.

Tourists clamoring for their own photo op, the sound of the market, and a guitarist strumming a slow-ballad version of “Heart-Shaped Box” faded into the background. Sophie cupped Ella’s face in her hands, her heart thumping against her chest. She swiped her thumbs on her cheek and touched her lips to Ella’s, and… this . This was what Sophie was missing in her world. As Ella sighed into Sophie’s lips, Sophie’s skin prickled. She moved her tongue, opened her mouth, and deepened the kiss.

“Oops, sorry!” A tourist with the worst possible aim bumped into Sophie.

Ella groaned at the break in the moment. “Way to ruin the moment.” She slipped her hand into Sophie’s with a grin, intertwined with her fingers, and tugged her down the alley. The case was settled—Sophie never wanted to walk any other way.

For the rest of the day, Sophie reveled in the way Ella moved through the world outside of the office. Among the shuffling of the crowd, vendors calling out prices for flowers and fruit, and the smell of seafood, they strolled Pike Place, their hands seamlessly attached. Ella shifted between quiet observance and squealing excitement, depending on what she saw.

Her fingers glided across handwoven beanies, stroked the side of glass bongs, and she stared at a hand-painted picture of Jimi Hendrix across a canvas. She unabashedly sampled the entire spectrum of dusted hazelnuts, from cinnamon to ranch, even when Sophie tried to tug her away. “I think they only want you to taste one or two,” Sophie whispered.

“But how can I make the best choice?” Ella purchased one of every kind. They stepped out of the way of screaming toddlers in strollers, people carrying woven canvas bags filled with vegetables and flower bouquets, and teenagers being, well, teenagers. Sophie bought them honey sticks and caramel popcorn, and they nibbled on cheesecake samples while listening to a man play Tchaikovsky on a sidewalk piano.

“I know we’ve eaten nothing but shit today, but I’m hungry for some real food.” Ella stretched her neck, still clinging on to Sophie’s hands.

What was happening here? Why did everything feel so natural, so comfortable, as if they’d walked no other way except with their hands molded together? She didn’t want to break the magic of the market, but her belly was nudging her for some protein. “How do you feel about eggs and hash browns? Like diner-style?”

Up the steep hill past Post Alley, with the scent of the cheese makers and piroshkis following them, they made their way to one of the gazillion souvenir shops, to grab an Uber to Green Lake.

An hour later, Ella scooped up another serving of the saltiest, greasiest hash browns this side of the Olympics. “Oh my God,” Ella murmured through her food. “Why is this so good?”

“’Cause of the sheer amount of butter used to fry it up and the decade-long remnants of bacon grease imbedded into the flat-top stove.” Sophie grabbed the pepper from the condiment holder and doused her eggs. “Not to mention the guy at the fryer has been cooking here since I was little.”

The heavily tattooed server with flaming orange hair juggling an armful of white ceramic plates walked by and Ella tapped the side of the plate. “More, please? If you don’t mind?” She grinned at Sophie. “How can they have all-you-can-eat hash browns and still make a profit? I might move into this place.”

“I can’t believe you’ve never been here.” Sophie spread homemade raspberry jam across a dense chunk of sourdough bread, then scooped eggs on top.

She wasn’t sure what Ella’s reaction would be to coming to the local-favorite, true dive diner in Green Lake. They’d swapped the sounds and smells of Pike Place for fryer grease, dough, hearty butter, and sticky floors. This place was iconic. A known cure for hangovers, the last pit stop after raging all night, the Saturday morning breakfast spot for families and college kids alike. And she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t a tad worried Ella would grimace, as she was probably used to truffle-oil-laced egg soufflé with organic crème fra?che.

But as Ella dug into her third plate of hash browns, all worries ceased. This unlocked yet another new side of Ella, and Sophie was hungry for more. She wanted to know about Ella’s dreams. What did she really want to do for a career? Where was her first kiss? Did she ever have a dog? She stared at her mouth, wanting to taste the sweetness again. “Can I ask you something?”

Ella wiped the side of her mouth and reached for her glass. “Sure.”

“Can you tell me about Jasmine?” Nothing halts a first date-ish like bringing up an ex.

Ella’s smile faded. She stabbed her fork against the food and exhaled. “She was exactly what I thought I wanted when we met. Spunky, spicy, and fiery. Kind of like a human jalapeno popper. I almost idolized her in a way. She was outgoing and fun and just so confident.”

“You’re confident.”

“It’s an act.” She lifted the fork to her mouth. “But, for quite a while, I really loved her. But then I saw certain things about her, and I started to question who she was as a person. She was obsessed with money. After a few months, she started ordering the staff around, almost like she was joking. But you know how people joke around and say things with a smile, but deep down they mean it?”

Sophie nodded. She absolutely knew people like this, the same people who started conversations with, “No offense, but…”

“And, well, she broke my heart.” A gloom passed over Ella’s eyes. She set the fork down without taking a bite and bit the side of her lip. “I know it sounds intense or whatever, but I had real dreams for us. I wanted to see the world with her. We looked at apartments together. I saw a future, like a real future, with her. And when our relationship ended, the way it ended, it ruined me. I lost her, my world was shattered, my future was gone in a snap.”

“I’m so sorry.” Why did she have to bring this up now? All lightness was siphoned from the room, swapped with darkness. No one had ever cheated on Sophie before. But she could imagine the sense of betrayal, the inability to trust again, the gut-wrenching sense of rejection, would cut deep.

“But… think of this.” Ella chewed on another bite, and the side of her lip twitched into a grin. “Had that never happened, I would have had no idea how delicious fried, shredded, overly buttered potatoes were.”

Sophie laughed. “That is an excellent point.”

Sophie didn’t want the evening to end. But after polishing off an obscene amount of breakfast food, having a hot make-out session in a terribly un-sexy spot in the alley near the dumpster, and strolling around Green Lake, when Ella yawned, Sophie knew she had to end the evening. But the logic of knowing she needed to end the evening didn’t make it any easier to say good night. When Thomas dropped her off, the bounce in her toes morphed into trudging up her stairs, and she flopped hard on her bed.

She liked Ella. So much. But was the timing right? She was George’s daughter, for God’s sake. Oddly, though, that didn’t scare her. So, what was scaring her? Sophie stuffed the fabric of her knitted blanket in between her fingers and rubbed, her belly corkscrewing with the images of Ella, her mouth, her laugh, and the way she fought through her nerves to command a room. She relished the joy in Ella’s eyes at the dive diner, and the flicker of her eyelashes when Sophie leaned in to kiss her. These last few weeks had been the best she could remember.

But did Ella feel the same squeeze in her heart? Did she feel like her breath ripped from her lungs when she saw Sophie? Did she go to bed the way Sophie did, thinking of Ella’s eyes, the freckles ridging her nose, or the slope of her long neck? She yanked her phone onto her chest and dialed. “I’m completely freaking out and don’t know what to do.”

“Whoa, slow down there, slugger.” Maya’s chipper voice came through. “Break this down for me step-by-step. Do I need to shank someone? What happened?”

Everything had happened. In a few weeks, Ella had flipped Sophie’s world upside down. And now she was scrambling amidst the carnage. She wanted to take a leap, but she had so much work to do. She still had her five-year plan to rise the corporate ladder, and become manager someday. “No shanking required.” She exhaled into the phone. “I’m just spinning out about everything.”

“Ella, huh?”

Sophie stopped vigorously kneading the blanket in her hand. “How did you know?”

“ Really? ” Maya chuckled. “Ella sucks. Ella is ruining my life. Ella is spoiled and rude and poopy and oh so dreamy .”

Okay, fair. Regardless of the actual words Sophie may have spoken, Maya had an innate ability to read into everything. Sophie didn’t even try to argue with her best friend that she never once uttered that Ella was dreamy.

“I don’t know what to do.” Sophie flopped her wrist over her eyes. “I really like her. She’s so different than what I thought. And it feels so damn good and natural, but how can it feel this good so quick? But is it really quick if you break down the amount of hours actually spent together? But the timing is terrible, I have so much work to do, and this launch and the cruise?—”

“ Jesus , you’re absolutely spinning.” Maya’s voice cut through the verbal tsunami. “Let’s just take this one thing at a time. You’ve established that you’ve got it super bad for this woman. Great. But you’re freaking out because you think you don’t have time. You’re the hardest worker I know. You fight for your team, your company, and whatever project you’re managing. You fight like hell for me, Harper, and your family. But you refuse to fight for yourself, Soph. I love you, you know this. But have you ever once considered that you use work as an excuse to avoid getting into a relationship?”

“But I’m busy!” Sophie protested. It’s not like she didn’t want to date before, she just didn’t have time.

“Do you think you are any less busy than any of your co-workers?”

“I don’t know… no, probably not.”

“And are they all single?” Maya continued.

Sophie paused. She could clearly see the point that Maya was making, but Sophie’s life differed from her co-workers’. She didn’t have a degree to fall back on, or a family with money and connections. She pushed herself because she had no other choice.

“I love you so much. But you crack through certain barriers, and shield yourself behind others. You deserve to be happy.” Several long moments followed. “Do something spontaneous. Something absurd. Just do something , for you and only you.”

The words sunk in, uncomfortable and squirmy in her chest, before her spirits lifted. She did deserve happiness, dammit, and being with Ella made her happy. All she needed was to take the plunge.

Maya sat with her in silence. The only sound coming through the phone was the faint sounds of breathing. Sophie mulled the words in her head, broke down her dating life, and soon, a smile spread. She had an idea. “Hey, is Remi there?”

“Ah, yeah. Why?”

Sophie hopped off the bed and paced the bedroom. “Can I talk to her?”

“Hmmm. Suspicious. I love it. Yes, let me get her.”

Ten minutes later, Sophie hung up with a satisfied grin. She could not wait for tomorrow.