Chapter 16

SIXTEEN

ELLA

So that happened.

Ella stared at her phone, willing another message to appear. When Sophie had texted her a few hours ago, a thrill shot through her chest. She responded immediately with a blushing emoji and a follow-up:

Ella:

I didn’t want to stop, either.

And then… nothing. Just nothing. Not that she expected a ton more, but she hoped this would kick off some sort of banter. Maybe flirty messages, maybe some sexting. Who knew? Being in her luxury prison, she was a master at curating sexy messages.

But Sophie didn’t respond, so Ella didn’t send any more, either. No way was she going to give off stalker vibes to the co-worker that she’d been hard crushing over for the past few weeks.

Ella swiped the canvas, adding a bold crimson to the golden sunrise. The brush slid across the fabric, and the bristles embedding into the canvas allowed her mind to rest. She worked another hour, detailing the crests in the waves, touching up the shadowed images in the sand, and perfecting a cloud.

Normally painting put her in a spell, but her eyes kept flickering to the phone to see if she somehow missed a message. Finally, she gave up and tossed her brush into the water. She shoved her feet into slippers and bounced down the stairs in search of a snack.

Like a guard dog sniffing out a potential treat, her mom appeared from wherever the hell she was stationed. “Hey, honey.” A mild frown appeared. “You really should wear those bangs away from your face at night otherwise we’re going to break out like in high school.”

Whatever . Ella wanted to tell her mom that adding the word “we” to these types of statements did nothing to soften the blow from reminding her of her acne-ridden teenage years. She pulled open the fridge and grabbed a container of leftovers. “You heard from Dad?”

“Yes, his flight got delayed. Won’t be home until late.” Her mom popped open a yogurt lid and was uncharacteristically quiet. She inhaled and cocked her head at Ella.

Oh, no. Here it comes…

“So, Sophie.” She wiggled an eyebrow. “She seems nice.”

Nope. Ella was not having this conversation. Her mom would try to squeeze every single detail, then push for more. Five minutes in, she’d beg Ella to have a spa day and “dish” about the “cutie.” And her mother had a freakish level of intuitiveness, she would decode every syllable spewed from Ella’s mouth. No doubt she’d take one look and know something had shifted within Ella. Her mom would ask when Sophie had transitioned from a massive pain in her ass, to her co-worker, to someone she thought about a lot . Ella would have to cover up the fact that Sophie had evolved from a mentor to someone she’d… straddled. God, Ella couldn’t believe she had been that bold. The freedom of being in the hot tub alone, her parents gone, the rain… something had taken over. And she’d loved it.

“Yes, she’s nice.” Ella bit into the tangy chopped salad and moved to the window. The landscaping lights illuminated the courtyard and paved a path to the water. She rarely took the time to enjoy the view, but today, the yard’s beauty clicked.

Her mom’s throat rolled with a swallow. “This is the first time you’ve brought someone over since Jasmine.”

“She’s not someone .” Such a lie, and Ella quickly shoved another bite in her mouth to deflect her words. Sophie was absolutely someone. “She’s just a co-worker. It’s not like I brought her over to…” To taste her mouth, sink in her lap, press my lips against her dewy skin.

“I think whatever you two are working on has certainly been the needed spring in your step.” Her mom scraped the spoon against the side of the yogurt cup. “You had us worried there. We haven’t really talked about what happened that night.”

Ella breathed out. Three months had passed since the incident , when she scared herself and her parents enough that her dad had no choice but to hire her. And yes, she regretted her behavior, but it had been the only way left to yield the desired result. Being at the office was everything she craved. It had started as a way to earn money for her own place, to free her from the shackles. But it morphed, becoming a place where she belonged, where she felt needed and included and worthy.

“I know I scared you guys.” She finished the last bite and rinsed her bowl.

The vision of that night flew through her mind. Snot-filled crying, ripping at her shirt collar, because everything suffocated her. She couldn’t take it anymore, she’d screamed. She couldn’t breathe. Even her hair drowned her. In a fit of desperation, she grabbed the kitchen scissors and cut off her waist-length braid, as her horrified parents shrieked. She’d only seen her dad scared a few times in her life, and that moment was one of them. He froze, helpless, as his daughter transformed. He faltered between coaxing, yelling, to nearly tackling her in order to rip the scissors from her hand.

Her actions that night were uncalled for, and shame burned into her chest reliving the moment. She knew she’d scared her parents, and that hadn’t been the intention. She simply had endured too much, and she needed them to listen. “I never apologized for what I did. I… I should have handled it better.”

“Yes, you should have.”

Her mom’s words were firm, but not harsh. She tossed the yogurt cup in the trash and joined Ella at the sink. The rose-scented night lotion she used reached Ella’s nose, and for the first time in forever, Ella wanted to hug her and have her tell her that everything was going to be okay.

“I’ve reflected on that night, too.” Her mom pressed her hand on top of Ella’s. “A lot, actually. You’ve been trying to tell us for years how you felt, how you feel smothered. I know it’s not easy, and it’s not always fair. But you are different , Ella. And I know you hate to hear that, but it’s the truth. You will always have greater needs than others, and that’s just fact. Does that feel horrible? Yes? Do I wish you were any other way? Absolutely not. Because this is part of you, and I love you.”

Ella reached over and consumed the hug she wanted earlier. Her mom squeezed her and kissed the top of her head.

Yes, her mom could be difficult and judgy and frustrating. But deep down, she wouldn’t have her any other way, either. “I love you, too.” Ella tucked a bottle of water under her arm. “Good night.”

Back in her room, she clicked on the lamp and snuggled into bed. She clasped her fingers behind her head and stared at the ceiling, evaluating the emotional day. God, feelings sucked. Since Jasmine, she’d convinced herself the only thing she wanted was a one-night stand. No strings attached meant no broken hearts. It meant no puffy eyes, no burning stomach, no obsessively evaluating the things she hated the most about herself and what caused Jasmine to stray.

And now here she was, thinking… no, feeling … things for Sophie, and even though it was scary, she didn’t want to stop. She checked her phone one last time, but Sophie still hadn’t messaged back.

Should I…? She tapped the phone case, running through a list of worst-case scenario outcomes . Yes I should.

Ella:

hey, now that Thomas knows where you live and all, want us to pick you up tomorrow for work?

Bubbles appeared on the screen, and she held her breath. The message was easy enough, a cross between professional and friendly which could be waved away depending on the response. If she said no, then whatever happened in the hot tub was a fluke, and she could chalk it up to the emotional day.

Sophie:

You mean swap a 45-minute commute for a 10-minute ride and give up all the metro’s morning special smells? Sounds great, thank you.

Ella poised her fingers to respond, but before she could, another message popped up.

Sophie:

A heart emoji. There was no mistaking the message’s intention. Ella closed her eyes for the evening, a full smile spreading at the same rate as her heart filling.

The next morning, Ella showered, took her meds, and bolted to the driveway in record time.

Was the sun a little brighter today? Only a sliver of sunlight cracked through the dusky clouds, yet it seemed the brightest morning in forever. She pulled in a breath of springtime air, the mineral, earthy scent of Lake Washington hitting her nose.

Thomas held a tire air pressure gauge in his hand and glanced up from his squatting position. “You’re ready early. Big day today?”

Sure is . “Just the usual.” Such a damn lie, and she fumbled with her bag to avoid any eye contact. Right now, this little whatever it was with Sophie was a magical secret secured in a twinkly box, and she was not ready to share it with anyone. Much less Thomas, who was a master at uncomfortable silences and would just wait it out until she cracked.

She hopped in the back seat and shoved her laptop bag on the seat. Be cool, be calm. “Can you swing by Sophie’s place and pick her up for work today?” Dammit . Her voice had a squeak to it, and she cleared her throat.

“Ah,” Thomas said, with a tone like “I knew it!” But he didn’t know it. Or maybe he did. Maybe how she radiated inside was seeping to her outside, and soon everyone in the world would know she had a big, fat crush.

The ride to Sophie’s house took forever. She tried to distract herself by scanning emails and scrolling social media, but she eventually gave up and tossed her phone back in the bag.

A car zoomed by and she grabbed her phone to snap a picture. “Is that a ’69 Mustang Fastback?”

Thomas’s eyes widened in the rearview mirror. “How in the world did you know that?”

“Over lunch last week, Sophie told me how she used to work with her dad on cars. He was obsessed with this old, broken down ’69 Mustang. Apparently, he spent like ten years fixing it up, but all he ever does now is polish it with a cloth diaper.” She grinned, remembering the conversation from the café. “I didn’t know what it was, so she showed me a picture.”

“Ah. Sometimes it’s more fun to collect the car than drive it. Especially one that’s such a beauty.” He rolled to a stop at the light and tapped his fingers against the steering wheel. “Sophie sure is a nice young woman. We ended up chatting the whole way home last night.”

Ella’s ears perked up. “Yep, she is.” Why hadn’t she just gone with her last night? But her confidence was still bruised from Jasmine, she wasn’t sure where they stood, and the idea of a thirty-minute awkward AF conversation had knotted her stomach.

He bumped over a pothole and turned down a block, where Sophie stood with her leather wrist bands, multiple rings, ripped fishnets, and plaid skirt. God, she was so damn pretty.

“Morning!” Sophie hopped in the back, her cheeks pinking when she smiled. “Thanks for picking me up.”

“Anytime,” Thomas said as he pulled into traffic.

“Hey, you.” Sophie’s eyelashes fluttered with the whisper.

Damn if Ella didn’t feel that tone to her toes. “Good morning.” Could Sophie feel this charge in the air? This heaviness, this urge, to reach out and touch her again? She desperately wanted to recreate the hot tub moment in the back of the SUV… if Thomas weren’t sitting right there. She wanted to ask Sophie so many things but knew good and well that Thomas might appear as if he wasn’t listening, but he heard everything.

“I can’t believe they got the building cleared already for us to return.” Sophie’s office-professional voice returned, much to Ella’s dismay.

“I know. It’ll be so weird to see it all boarded up, though.” The traffic slowed to a roll, and Ella checked her watch. “We’re going to be putting out fires left and right with the loss of time yesterday.”

“For sure.” Sophie glanced out the window. “We’ll set a quick scrum call when we get in.”

Small talk was dumb. Ella didn’t care about status meetings, calls, level setting, or if the copy editors agreed on a proper comma placement. She wanted to pull Sophie to her, taste her mouth, trail the pad of her fingertip up her silky smooth arm.

Once Thomas dropped them off at the office, with the purr of electric cars and traffic humming down the street, Ella tugged her cross-body bag over her shoulder. She moved toward the building when Sophie laid a hand on her forearm. The hand was warm, the gentle touch telling Ella everything was okay.

Sophie glanced behind her shoulder. “Hey, um, so about what happened at your house…”

She wanted to do it again? Maybe go into the alley and make out against the wall? Could Ella pull her into a single stall restroom, throw her on the counter, and show her what her hands could do? Ella was open to just about anything.

Sophie bit the side of her lip and her gaze dropped to Ella’s mouth before it snapped up. “My job is really important to me. Like, sometimes, I feel it’s the only thing I have, you know?”

A bus screeching to a halt at the corner perfectly mirrored Ella’s insides. Her job is important? Obviously. But what does that mean for what happened? Ella hated that her hands fidgeted. She tugged her purse tighter to her chest to hide the motion. “Yes, I get that. It’s important to me, too.”

Sophie looped her thumbs in her backpack straps. A thin red stripe ran through her neck, and she glanced at the sidewalk. “I just think it wouldn’t be appropriate if we said anything or… did anything… at the office.”

Rejection hit hard and Ella’s stomach curled into itself. Was this about work only, or ever again, or what? Ella squared her shoulders. “What about when we’re not in the office?”

Sophie’s lip turned up and her tongue swiped at her lip ring. She wrapped her pinkie around Ella’s and moved her mouth to Ella’s ear. “Outside of the office…”

The breath was warm against Ella’s ear, and she nearly collapsed from the rasp in Sophie’s voice.

“… all bets are off.”