10. FIELD

FIELD

“ M orning, Starlight,” Ryan said as I wandered into the kitchen in my pajamas.

My toes still tingled as my body started to wake from sleep. I tucked my fingers into the pocket of my hoodie to keep them warm. My hair was tugged messily into a ponytail, and I was still rubbing the sleep from my eyes as I took in the kitchen.

“Ryan…” I said, unable to help the laughter that tumbled from me. “What are you doing?”

“Making you breakfast?” He said, his words curling up in confusion at the end as he turned to look at me. “Don’t tell me you don’t like pancakes,” he sighed and looked over at the towering plate.

“I love waffles,” I laughed and leaned against the island. “I’m just not sure I can eat that many.”

Ryan pouted, a full-on bottom-lip pout, as he looked over at me before saying, "Coward,” as a smirk grew on his face.

“Did you just call me a coward? You made like fifteen pancakes,” I pointed to the plate where he stacked another one. I can maybe eat two,” I said as my stomach grumbled. “Okay, maybe three,” I added, which brought his smirk into a full-blown smile.

I watched as he wandered back and forth, making me a plate. Everything he did was purposeful, and his brows were scrunched in concentration as he moved. When he was finally satisfied, he nodded to himself and set the plate down in front of me, beaming with pride.

Moving around me, I sucked in a tiny breath as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and leaned over me. His lips close to my ear as he pressed our bodies together. He had cut up strawberries and bananas, scattering the plate with them before he slathered everything in whipped cream.

“Happy birthday, Rae.” He whispered to me and handed me a fork.

“You know you didn’t have to do this. I really wasn’t upset about it,” I said to him. And that was the honest-to-God truth. Birthdays held no sentimental value to me. We never really celebrated anyone's birthday in our house. It wasn’t just me. To my family, it was just another day on the calendar that could be crammed with meetings, chores, and educational activities.

But my heart was racing at an uncomfortable speed as Ryan waited for me to take a bite. He was so proud of himself for making such a nice breakfast. It was endearing, and I couldn’t find the proper words to convey how grateful I was for his gesture.

I cupped my hand over the overflowing fork and lifted it to my lips. Everything melted together, and it actually tasted really good. I turned my head not thinking about his proximity, only wanting to praise his cooking skills, and found his face millimeters from mine.

Time wasn’t relevant. Everything seemed to slow down, and each detail of his face became glaringly obvious. The way his throat bobbed, the sparkle in his eyes as the gold danced across the green, and how bold the color was framed by the nasty purple bruise on his face. But distractingly so, and the worst of all was the small, nervous smirk on his lips. Our nose brushed together, and for a second, I thought he would pull away, but he only nuzzled closer.

“These are really good pancakes,” I whispered to him, uncomfortably confessing the compliment to distract me from my nervousness.

“It’s the only thing I can make, don’t be too impressed.” He huffed, and his breath warmed my skin.

Ryan’s eyes flickered to my lips as I cleaned the whipped cream from my bottom lip, and his entire body groaned, leaning forward to close the space even further.

“I would like to kiss you,” he said quietly, “but only if—”

I didn’t let him finish the sentence. I pushed my chin toward him and closed the little space between our lips. Kissing him without hesitation as my heart thudded wildly in my chest, and the crescendo of time seemed to stop altogether.His hands tangled into my hair, curling around my jaw to pull me impossibly close. The kiss itself was soft and careful. His bottom lip captured mine and sent a burst of fireworks across my chest. My skin tingled with heat from his touch.

When he pulled away, I felt my body follow him, only for a soft laugh to tumble from his lips as he pressed another short kiss to mine. “I didn’t think it was possible to love you more.”

I rolled my eyes at his ridiculousness, but instead, I was a ball of nerves. Did he like it? Was it okay? I had never kissed a boy before, and now… “if you hated that, I’m never going to celebrate my birthday ever again in my entire life.” My cheeks flushed.

“Rae,” Ryan wrapped his hands around my face. “You are perfect.” His words held conviction. To be so sure of everything he did and said must have been a wild feeling. One I couldn’t relate with, I was intelligent and quick with my words, but I had never met a person so aware of their strengths the way Ryan Cody was.

“Now eat,” he instructed. “I want you to show me what you usually do on your birthday so we can do something better.”

I scoffed at his teasing and turned back to my pancakes, only for him to stick his finger into the pile of whipped cream. Then he popped the cream-covered finger into his mouth with a smile so bright it made me feel like I was staring at the sun.

“Thank you for sticking your dirty fingers in my breakfast,” I laughed with a tiny shake of my head. As I ate, Ryan moved around to clean up the mess he had made, much to my surprise. I had expected to have to do it later before my parents got home. By the time I was finished, he was leaning against the counter with a pancake and a can of whipped cream.

“Watch this,” he laughed as he folded the pancake up like a taco and loaded it full of whipped cream before shoving it in his mouth.

“That was disgusting,” I watched him in bewilderment.

“You’re impressed, don’t lie.” Ryan smiled with full cheeks and a little wink that made my stomach do flips. “Go get dressed,” he said, leaning over the island and taking my plate.

I watched him for a moment before listening to him and finding my way upstairs. I pulled on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt with a sweater that covered my arms. I looked down at my skin. There were a few new random purple bruises that I didn’t remember where they had come from. I scowled at them before tugging the sweater on and going to find Ryan.

He was slipping into his boots as I rounded the stairs to the front entrance, his hair falling messily in his face and his breathing labored.

“Are your ribs still bothering you?” I asked him as he straightened out and huffed a shaky breath with a small nod. “You should go get them looked at today,” I suggested.

“They’ll heal.” He shrugged and reached over to push a piece of rogue hair behind my ear. I swear, every time he touched me, my body flooded with heat. “Where first, Starlight?”

I thought about my last birthday and smiled, “do you trust me?” I asked him.

“I’d follow that mischievous smile over a cliff,” he responded without hesitation and extended his hand to me, wiggling his fingers.

We walked down through the gate into town after leaving my house. Ryan never strayed too far, and even as we reached Main Street, he never let go of my hand. Even when a few girls from class passed us, even as he waved and talked to some people in town, he held tight.

“In here,” I said to him as we reached the tiny shop.

Ryan’s eyes doubled in size as we wandered inside. The shop was lined with shelves, jam-packed with little glass and ceramic nicknacks that the world had deemed ugly or useless, all sitting here waiting to be loved.

Mrs. Bates was behind the counter, her wild blonde hair puffed up on top of her head, adding at least a foot of extra height to her tiny five-foot frame. She had always been a little scary, with pale skin and the voice of a lifetime smoker. It was a wonder she was even still alive, let alone running the shop by herself.

“Morning, Mrs. Bates,” I said to her in passing and she grumbled something under her breath. “This is Ryan,” I told her, even though she didn’t care to hear it. “Come on, the best part is over here.” I dragged him toward the left front window.

The display had never changed, and if she ever found the energy to do so, I’d probably cry because a bundle of glass sun catches hung from every possible hook. There had to be at least thirty of them, all catching the sun in the bay window that looked out onto main street. The sun peered through them, creating a confetti rainbow across the floor and walls.

Ryan watched me with curiosity, letting me spin in a circle and moving without effort to continue to hold my hand. His eyes roamed the walls and floors, landing on the collection of suncatchers with a smile.

“It’s incredible,” he said, “I didn’t even know this store existed.”

“Most don’t,” I shrugged. There’s something about it that makes me so happy—all these lost treasures, just begging to be found.”

Ryan stared at the side of my face as I turned to look at the hundreds of trinkets before me. Something about being lost in the store, with all the other forgotten pieces of art, soothed my soul and made me feel at home.

“Pick one out,” he said, and my head whipped to him.

“No, I just look,” I said to him, That was enough for me.

“Rae, pick one,” He insisted. “Or I’ll pick the ugliest one in the shop and give it to you as a present.” He teased, his fingers digging into my side and making me giggle.

“Be careful!” Mrs. Bates' froggy rasp echoed over the shop louder than I had ever heard her speak. “You break it, you buy it.” She slapped a sign that hung behind her on the wall with her cane, nearly hitting ten glass objects as she did.

“Okay, okay.” I pushed his fingers away from my ribs with a tiny huff. I wasn’t used to such affection, and it was overwhelming—like an adrenaline rush every time he touched me. After a good twenty minutes of wandering around, I finally found a tiny glass sculpture of an angel holding a moon. It was no bigger than a palm, but she was made of the prettiest light purple glass with flecks of white and blue throughout.

“That one,” I pointed to it, and Ryan gently picked it up and paid for it, handing me the small brown bag with a smile. “Thank you,” I said to him, and he smiled down at me, creeping forward with his hand still on the bag, too. He tugged me toward his chest until he was within reach to kiss me.

In public.

I inhaled a shaky breath as he pulled away.

“Are you okay?” He asked in a hushed voice, but all I could do was nod. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I just didn’t expect you to…”

“Kiss you?” Ryan’s brows furrowed, “Rae…” He leaned close and kissed me again, “Now that I’ve done it once, I’ll need them at least once an hour until the day we die.”

I stared up at him, my heart racing so fast it felt like it would burst out of my chest on main street. “I mean in public.”

“Am I not allowed to kiss you in public?” He asked quietly, matching my tone.

“I—well…” I shrugged; I had just expected him to.

“If I ever gave you the idea that I was ashamed to be seen with you, Starlight, you’re going to have to remind me when because I'm blanking.” Ryan smiled down at me because he was right. Never once had he pretended like I wasn’t there around anyone. It had been him who wanted to sit in the library for our tutoring, him who dragged me to the fair…

“I’m sorry. I guess it was just a surprise,” I said.

Ryan kissed me again, and it warranted the same rush of heat as before.

“I’ll kiss you until you're comfortable, I'll kiss you until the whole town knows it.” He declared, “I’ll even scream it down the street. I kissed Lorraine Field! ” He said a little louder.

“Ryan, don’t you dare!” I laughed and pulled him back for a third kiss before he could act on the foolish notion. He smiled against my mouth and pressed his fingers to my throat, holding me in place as he leaned his weight over me and deepened the kiss.

“What’s next?” He asked when he finally pulled away.

”You said you wanted to see the bowling queen in action?” I smirked up at him.

”Oh, God. I’ve never wanted anything more,” He laughed and tossed his arm over my shoulder as we started down the street toward the alley.