CHAPTER THREE

Faith didn't want to spend the night with David. She loved her boyfriend, and she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, but…

But did she?

She sighed and pressed her head to her steering wheel. "Ugh!" Turk nudged her, and she sat up and said, "I'm all right. I just have a lot on my mind right now." What else is new?

It was just too much. Everything was changing all at once. She was a half-step away from being shuttled off to a desk for doing her job well. Turk was a few weeks away from being put to pasture and left to grow old and die. She had put away one serial killer who was obsessed with her, only for another killer to pop up out of nowhere just as obsessed with her. And now he wasn't allowed in her own home, and her own home wouldn't even be her own home a few months from now because she would be living full-time with a man for the first time in her life.

She loved David. He was kind and sweet and funny and drop-dead gorgeous. He loved Turk, and Turk practically worshipped him. He had put up with Faith's moods and her stubbornness and the dangers her job posed to both of them. He had stuck with her through all of that. She should want to be with him. She should want to spend the rest of her life with him.

But…

But he didn't understand her. He accepted her, and she thought that would be enough, but it just wasn't possible for a civilian to understand the life of a law enforcement agent, particularly one whose career had been spent dealing with the most violent and depraved people on Earth.

It wasn't that she couldn't talk to him. It was just that when she did, all she would get was sympathy and affection.

God, that sounded so horrible. Like he was a bad person for sympathizing with her. It was just… well, she couldn't talk to him. She could talk to him, and he would listen, but he wouldn't understand the feelings she had when she looked at an innocent body or interviewed a man who thought it was funny to watch his victims bleed to death.

Of all the people she knew, there was only one person who truly understood her. She felt horribly guilty for calling him now, but she had to talk to someone, and he was the only person she knew who would get what she had to say.

She dialed the number. A moment later, Michael replied, "If this is a case, then go fuck yourself. If this is a personal emergency, then get David to—"

"I need to talk to you," she blurted out. Considering the doubts she was just having, she didn't want to hear Michael joke about her and David being intimate.

"Okay. Do you want to come over?"

Heat climbed Faith's cheeks. She definitely didn't want to see Michael's wife, Ellie, after the thoughts she'd been having.

Thinking of Ellie only increased her guilt. She didn't view Michael in a romantic light, but it still felt wrong to think of the two of them as the closest people in each other's lives. She almost said never mind, but she really did need to talk to someone, or she'd spiral out of control.

"Umm… a lot of it is work-related. Buy you a donut?"

He sighed theatrically. "Considering what you're making me miss out on, you're buying me two donuts."

Her face flamed. "I really didn't need to hear that."

"And for the price of a cup of coffee to wash down those donuts, you won't have to."

"Find me a steak restaurant, and I'll buy you a Kobe filet paired with a Macallan Fifty. Just change the subject, please."

"Is it weird that I'd rather have donuts and coffee?"

"Yes."

"Huh. Well, I'm weird then. I'll meet you at Rafferty's."

"That place is still open?"

"I'm ashamed for you that you have to ask. See you in ten minutes."

He hung up, and Faith started the car. When she looked into her rearview mirror, she saw that she was grinning. She felt…

Oh, to Hell with it. She felt happy. She'd deal with whatever else came later.

***

Special Agent Michael Prince, Faith's partner for the entirety of her eleven years in the Bureau, had filled out a little after turning forty a year ago, but he was still handsome in his own boyish way. He wore his signature outfit of a trench coat and a fedora, both utterly unnecessary and completely ridiculous but also totally endearing.

"Boston cream pie and a maple bar," he said. "And if there's anything in my cup but coffee, I will throw it in your face and willingly allow Turk to eat me as punishment."

She laughed. "Good to see you too, buddy."

"I just saw you like twelve hours ago. It's not like we've been apart for months."

"What can I say? I have abandonment issues."

"You certainly have issues."

They ordered their coffee and donuts and took a table in the far corner of the shop. Rafferty's was a hole-in-the-wall place, and at this time of night, it was empty except for the two of them.

"So talk to me," Michael said. "What's going on?"

Faith took a deep breath. "Oh boy, where to begin? Oh yeah, my neighbor's body was propped up against my door when I got home tonight."

Michael nearly spit out his coffee. He set the cup down and choked out, "What?"

She gave him a tight smile. "Yep. Eleanor. She was seventy-eight, and she always gave Turk treats. Someone beat the crap out of her, slit her throat, gouged her eyes out and left them in her palms staring right up at me. Guess what was written on her blouse in her own blood?"

His eyes widened. "Oh shit. Not the same guy who killed the clerk from the electronics shop."

"If not, then there's a cult of people who like fucking with me. This message read, ARE YOU LOOKING NOW, FAITH?"

"Jesus." He shook his head, then his face hardened. "Well, they screwed up. I take it you are looking now."

She sighed and picked at her donut, also a maple bar. "No. I was, but Desrouleaux and Chavez showed up and boxed me out. Sent me to the office for the Boss to rip me a new one."

"Because of the publicity thing?"

She nodded.

Michael sighed. "Well, that's bullshit."

"Yep. That's what I said."

"What did the Boss say?"

She shrugged. "Same as always. A canned response about how the brass doesn't care about bullshit followed by a lecture about how hard he's trying to look out for me, and can't I just be a good girl for a little while."

He glanced at her coffee cup and picked it up, setting it out of her reach. "I don't know why you came to talk to me. You know I agree with him, right?"

She sighed. "Did you move my coffee so I didn't throw it in your face?"

"Yep. Should I move it farther? Can you reach from there?"

She chuckled. "I get what the Boss is saying, but it sucks. Some other wacko is coming after me, and I get told to go into hiding. I get that I can't be in the news but won't fleeing the area right after my neighbor gets murdered be worse publicity?"

"I don't think you're getting much bad press anymore," Michael replied. "They stopped digging into the skeletons in your closet. It's more just a lot of speculation about you and West."

"What kind of speculation?"

"You don't want to know."

"Tell me."

He sighed. "Well, a lot of them are really leaning into this being a sex thing. Some people are suggesting that you two bumped uglies during your sessions, and—"

"Oh my God!"

"I know. I know. It's horrible."

She pressed her hands to her forehead and groaned. "Ugh! This is the worst night ever!"

Michael shrugged. "I mean… the maple bars are fresh, so it can't be that bad." She glared at him, and he lifted his hands again. "Just saying."

She sighed and sat up straight. Turk laid his head in her lap, and she looked down at him. "And they want Turk to retire too."

"That's just policy, right?" Michael asked. "He's turning nine, so that means he's due."

"Age is just a number," she said, scratching Turk behind his ears and smiling at the way his eyes half-closed.

"Except when it isn't."

She frowned. "He's not old, Michael. Look at him. I mean, he's as fast and strong as he always was. He's been doing a lot of strenuous stuff, and he's fine. He still has the energy of a puppy. No arthritis, no fatigue, no poor eyesight or hearing, no dietary issues. If he didn't have a little gray on his muzzle, you wouldn't be able to tell he's nine years old."

"You haven't thought about taking him home as a pet?" Michael asked.

"I've thought about it, but when would I see him? He'd spend all day at home with David and only see me mornings and evenings when I'm not on a case. It would be like he moved in with his dad, and I became the every other weekend parent."

"But you'd be living with David," he pointed out. "It'd be more like he has two parents who work."

Faith looked away and pursed her lips.

"Ah," Michael said. "Cold feet about the move again, huh?"

She hesitated before answering. She wasn't sure how wise it was to share all of her thoughts on the subject with Michael. The two of them had dated for a year. Their relationship had ended before Faith met David, but it still felt weird to share relationship troubles with him. But he had Ellie, so it wasn't like he was her hot ex she was complaining about her current boyfriend to. He was her friend, helping her get through some difficult personal struggles.

"Yeah. I guess so."

"You've got to figure that out, Faith. You've been with him for over a year. Either you two are taking the next step, or you're moving on."

"Why can't we be enjoying the life we have now? Would it really be so bad if we were just the type of boyfriend and girlfriend who date but live separately?"

"For you? No. It's nice, low-maintenance fun, and I can see you being fulfilled by that. For David? Well, you know the answer to that."

Her shoulders slumped. "Yeah."

"You're not a bad person if you decide David's not the one. You're not a bad person if you decide there isn't a ‘the one.' But if you string David along because you're too afraid to make a tough decision, then you're being pretty shitty to him."

She frowned at him. "This is what I get for talking to you about my problems."

"Yeah, you'd think you'd have learned by now."

His phone buzzed. He pulled it from his coat pocket and sighed. "Son of a bitch."

"The Boss?"

"Yeah. You want to do me a favor and shoot my phone so I have an excuse not to return his call?"

She covered her mouth so the Boss wouldn't hear her laugh when Michael answered.

"Prince, I have a case for you."

"Of course you do," Michael said glumly.

"Yeah, yeah, your life's so hard. It's in Nelchina, Alaska."

"Alaska?"

"Yeah. You know, the really big state next to Canada?"

"Yeah, I…" Michael sighed. "Forget it. When do we leave?"

"As soon as you get your ass to the airport and purchase a flight. Screenshot the ticket and send it to me to expense it."

"You got it." He looked at Faith. "Should I take Bold?"

"No. Bold should take some goddamned time off so she doesn't end up looking like me when she's my age. But since she won't, and since I need her to not be around her apartment for a while, yes. Take her. Oh yeah, her neighbor was killed. Same freak who left her a message at the electronics store."

"I heard."

"You heard? Is she there?"

"Hi, Boss," Faith said.

The Boss sighed. "Should I plan to expense tickets for you and Turk too?"

She looked down at Turk and smiled. "What do you say, Turk? Wanna catch a bad guy?"

Turk barked enthusiastically. Faith grinned and said, "He says yes."

The Boss sighed again. "It's like raising kids only more stressful. All right. Get your asses to the airport."

He hung up, and Michael groused, "He's paying for first class then. That's his price for pulling me away from—"

"Coffee," Faith interrupted. "Remember? I bought you coffee, so I don't need to hear it."

Michael tapped on his phone for a minute, then said, "Well, he'll hear about it when he rips me a new one for the first-class tickets I just bought from Alaska Airlines."

Her eyes widened. "Jesus! Those are like five thousand dollars each!"

"No, just five thousand total. I'll be fine. Besides, if the Anchorage guys are the ones that want us, the Boss will probably make them pay." He stood. "Take the coffee to go. The flight leaves in an hour."

Faith grinned and followed Michael outside. She felt a little guilty for her excitement, but this was the best thing that could have happened to her right now. She didn't have to think about all of the crap in her life right now. She could focus on the case and leave all of the rest for later.

A little voice inside her head reminded her that she was only delaying the inevitable. Sooner or later, she'd have to deal with the issues she was running from now.

But not tonight. For now, that was enough.