27. Bella

27

BELLA

R iver's eyes light up with surprise when I take his hand. He looks like he expected me to smack it aside and stomp back into the house. A few days ago, maybe I would have done just that. But I'm not so sure anymore. I've had time to think about my life, to think about what Ginny wants and what I want.

The question is—what does the man by my side, his breathing labored and his chest heaving from possibly drinking too much before noon—want?

"I booked a plane ticket," he says, unsurprisingly. Disappointment hits me like a freight train, but I keep my facial features impressively neutral.

"Where to? And when do you leave?"

He doesn't immediately answer. We take a winding path away from the house, in the direction of the gazebo. I haven't been able to go there in all these years. Too many memories.

Evening is upon us, soft and twinkling after the days it hid behind the snowstorm. The yard, blanketed in a pristine layer of snow, glows ethereally in the moonlight. Each delicate snowflake sparkles like a tiny gem, creating a landscape that feels almost otherworldly. The trees, heavy with snow, stand as silent sentinels, their branches draped in white, casting shadows on the gravel. Everything smells of longing—like rain and the occasional sun after a very long winter.

A gentle hush has fallen, the usual sounds of the night muffled by the thick snow. The air is crisp and still, carrying the faint scent of pine and the promise of more snow to come. The sky above is clear, dotted with countless stars. In the distance, the faint outline of the mountains can be seen, their peaks glistening under the moon's soft glow.

The world around me is at peace.

River leads me toward the back of the property, obscured now by overgrown shrubs and fallen branches. He moves with a practiced grace, his boots crunching softly in the snow. We emerge onto a clearing, a breathtaking panorama of snow-laden trees and frozen ponds stretching out before us. In the distance, bathed in silver light, stands our old gazebo. It's so silly, but I begin to cry. I don't want him to see me, but if he does, he has the grace to not say anything.

Pulling my coat tighter around me, I narrow my eyes and blink rapidly. The last thing I need right now is to be snotty—but God, it is so hard when the memories come knocking. Tears keep pricking my eyes against my will. This is where it all began, where I foolishly thought River was no more than a fling, a mere spot in the enormity of my youth.

I was selfish, too. But once I fell in love, I grew up. He, on the other hand…

My breathing mists the air in front of us as he gently guides me toward the gazebo, his hand warm against my back. We sit on the weathered wooden bench, our breaths mingling in the frosty air. For a long moment, we remain silent, the only sound the gentle creak of the snow beneath our feet.

"Bella," River begins, his voice barely a whisper, "I have something to tell you." He pauses, his gaze fixed on the shimmering snowscape. "I've always wanted to run."

Well, that's a start. Is he telling me all this as a prelude to his upcoming journey? He continues, his voice gaining strength with each word, "It's the call of the unknown, the lure of adventure, the thrill of the chase."

He takes a deep breath, his eyes meeting mine. "My father left when I was just a boy. He was a wanderer, a drifter, always chasing the next horizon."

His voice cracks slightly, and he looks away. "I always told myself it was different for me, that I ran in the name of service, for the greater good. But the truth is, there's no excuse for abandoning you, for breaking my promises."

He reaches for my hand, his fingers tracing the delicate lines etched by time and worry. "I should have told you to wait, to hold on, to believe in us. But I was a coward, afraid of what I might lose if I stayed."

His eyes, filled with remorse and longing, search my face for a sign of forgiveness. "I know it's too late for apologies, but I need you to know that I never stopped loving you."

The raw honesty of his words pierces through the icy barriers I've built around my heart. Tears stream down my face, a mixture of sadness, anger, and a flicker of hope.

"River," I begin, my voice trembling, "I don't know what to say."

It doesn't matter, right? Because even if he loves me, he's leaving. Yes, Marcus and Wyatt will be there for me, and I will be there for them. But we are a unit, and to carry on in this arrangement knowing one of the three has a constant kink for abandonment?

I don't know how I can survive it, even with all the love I feel for the other two.

It doesn't make up for my anger toward the man by my side. Anger and rage and love.

"Where are you going?" I finally ask in a muffled voice.

"Nowhere," he replies hoarsely. My heart skips a beat and I turn my head sideways.

"I'm not running again," he says, looking directly into my eyes. "Even if this doesn't work out and all you can give me is some time with you and Ginny, I'll take it. I'll take what light and darkness you have for me, Bella, and spend years being the man who shows up, even though I was an asshole first."

Is this really happening?

"River…" I stop and stumble with my words, entirely confused. "You…you're not mad at me?"

He chuckles and plants a gentle hand on my knee. "I was, at first. And then I considered what a mother would do when she'd handled with the hardest season of young parenthood all on her own. I'm lucky you let me live."

A grin unwittingly slips on my lips. "Well, that's kind of true."

His grip becomes firmer, and he circles a thumb over the thick fabric under his fingers. "But you took another chance. And I'm ashamed to say that even though I told you it'd be different, when the first thing I considered when you left was running away. Marcus showed me how much of a fool I was."

My throat constricts. "You really mean it, don't you?"

He nods. "I do. I'm staying, Bells."

"As are we," floats Wyatt's voice over my shoulder. He's standing with Marcus, both of them smiling like goofy mountain men. My mountain men.

"I've been an idiot too," I confess. "And so, so angry at the world, at you, at myself. I…it took me an age to see that this isn't what I want for any of us."

"Come back to the cabin," River entreats me now. He removes his hand, stands up, and drops on both knees in front of me, earnestness etched into his face. "With Ginny. Let's try to make things right."

Finally, I let the tears fall freely. "What if…"

"Let's not think of the what ifs anymore," he interjects. "Because it's you and us. We'll find a way."

I nod through the tears, pulling him into a hug. Marcus and Wyatt leap in and join us until we're all a bundle on the floor of the gazebo.

The embrace ends, and I pull back to look at the men who have come to mean everything to me. I take a deep breath, steeling myself for what I have to do next.

"I need to talk to my dad," I say, my voice quavering. "I have to tell him about us."

River, Marcus, and Wyatt exchange glances, understanding the gravity of the situation. River nods, his eyes soft with empathy. "Want us to go with you?"

"No." I shake my head vehemently. "I need to do this alone. Can you wait by the Subaru?"

"Of course," replies Wyatt. "Take your time. We'll be here."

I watch them walk back toward Marcus' Subaru Outback, their figures blending into the snowy landscape. Turning toward my father's house, I feel a knot of anxiety tighten in my stomach. This conversation isn't going to be easy.

Inside, my father sits by the fireplace, a cup of coffee in his hand. He looks up as I enter, his face a mixture of suspicion and concern. He knows something is up.

"Dad," I begin, my voice shaking in the most undignified manner, "I need to talk to you about something important." All of a sudden, it's like I'm back in school, coming to tell him I couldn't win at the state track meet. He sets his cup down and leans back, eyes narrowing. "What is it, Bella?"

I take a deep breath and plunge in. "I need to tell you about my relationship. I'm with River, Marcus, and Wyatt."

For a moment, there's silence. Then his face hardens, disappointment and disbelief etched into his features. "Bella, this isn't the way to live. One mistake with River was bad enough, but now with two more men? It's insane."

Tears well up in my eyes. "You promised to try to be a better father, to accept me for who I am. This is who I am, and these men make me happy. I'm happy with them, Dad."

He shakes his head, his expression unyielding. "I can't do it, Bella. I can't accept this."

A sob escapes me, and I wipe at my eyes furiously. "You don't have to agree, but I thought you would at least try to understand."

My father stands, his posture rigid. "I can't stop you, Bella. You're an adult. You're free to do as you please, but I think you're making a terrible mistake."

My heart aches as I look at him, the man who raised me now a stranger in his judgment. "I'm going back to the cabin with the men and Ginny."

He doesn't say anything, just nods curtly. As I turn to leave, I pause at the door. "Dad…we want you to come to the cabin for Christmas. Please think about it."

I don't wait for his response, walking to my old room. Ginny is there, waiting for me. "Come on, honey," I tell her. "We're going."