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Chapter 5

West

My brain catches up to what my body is doing about six seconds after my mouth lands on his.

I stumble back a step. “Oh, shit. I’m sorry. I don’t even know if you’re gay or bi! I shouldn’t have just jumped you like that.”

One of Ashley’s big hands—the same ones I’ve been trying not to stare at all afternoon as he helped me string popped kernels of corn with only a few complaints—snags me, palming my low back and nearly spanning the entire width. He hauls me toward him.

“You don’t have to apologize,” he says. His voice is low, intimate, causing goose bumps to ripple down my spine.

“I don’t?” I whisper.

“No. I’d like to do it again. Maybe for a little longer this time.”

I smile, gently brushing my fingers across his forehead, down his temple, and over his thick beard. His eyes flutter, like he’s not used to being touched like that. I have to wonder how long it’s been him and Carla in this cabin together. How long has he gone without feeling the touch of another human?

He might be a grumpy Scrooge, but he’s also one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. He deserves all the soft touches .

Slower this time, more aware of what’s happening, I dip down and close the distance between our faces, slanting my lips over his once more. It’s gentle, exploratory, nothing but our mouths sliding against each other, learning the feel and shape.

When he licks at the seam of my lips, I part them easily with a little sigh that’s almost a whimper. It feels like this moment was inevitable. Maybe even preordained. I’m not sure I believe in such things. But the fact that I crashed my car so close to his house, and he came to see what the noise was and found me, took me into his home, cared for me, and provided a little holiday cheer to make me feel better after losing my shitty job…

I don’t know how else to explain it.

What are the chances if it wasn’t?

We kiss for a long time, me settling on his lap after a while, gently caressing Ashley’s hair and neck, his shoulders and biceps. Just touching him. Not trying to push for anything more, but trying to give back a tiny bit of what he’s given me.

His hands grip at me, his fingers tightening and then releasing my thigh and my low back like he wants more but is holding back.

I can’t have that.

I rearrange myself so I can straddle him. Rising up onto my knees, I hover over him and dive back in, devouring his soft lips. I lick inside more forcefully, urging him on. He groans, palming my hips and jerking me down onto his lap.

I wiggle on his hardness. Holding back is exactly what he’s been doing. This giant of a man could throw me over his shoulder with no effort and toss me onto his bed, have his way with me whether I wanted him to or not.

Instead, he’s letting me lead and control the pace, only taking what I’m offering and nothing more.

I kiss over his bristly cheeks, panting. “We should move to the bed.”

His fingers flex, so long they’re half cupping my cheeks. I raise my head to look into his eyes. His pupils are blown wide, making his sky-blue eyes nothing more than a dark ring around them.

“Are you sure?” he asks, his deep voice practically subterranean, rumbling through my whole body and settling in my dick.

I nod quickly. “I’m sure.”

The words barely leave my mouth and he’s pushing to his feet, holding me with that same grip, and I can’t help but laugh, wrapping my legs around him, more so I feel secure than because I think he’ll drop me.

Before he can lay me on the bed, I tug on his beard lightly. “Wait.”

He freezes, his whole body turning to stone as he stares at me, waiting to see what I want, if I’ve changed my mind. I lean in and press a quick kiss to his damp lips and then wiggle against him.

“We should get naked first.”

He sucks in a ragged breath but obligingly lets me down until my feet touch the ground, and then we’re both pulling off our clothes, staring at each other as we do it. The cozy space of the cabin is warm from the crackling fire, the low light from its dancing flames mixing with the setting sun and Mariah Carey serenading us to have me feeling some kind of way.

Or maybe it’s just Ashley.

And his big hands and even bigger heart.

It’s ridiculous. This man lives in an isolated cabin on the side of a mountain. He’s not looking for anything more than what’s happening in this moment, and I shouldn’t try and fool myself into thinking otherwise. Even as I remind myself of that, reaching for him the second my underwear hits the floor, I know chances are I won’t escape this cabin unscathed. At least not emotionally.

But even if it breaks my heart, I know I’m going to carry the memory of our sad little tree and the joy he brought me with me forever.

We end up on the bed with him on his back and me sprawled on top of him, kissing and touching each other a little less gently, a franticness beginning to build between us. A hunger like I’ve never known settles in the pit of my stomach, urging me on as I grind down against him, rubbing my stiff cock against his furry belly, his poking at my ass every time I move. His body hair tickles me, and I can’t help slipping down to kiss his pecs, licking at both of his nipples before making my way back up to his mouth for another taste. The chocolatey-ness from our cocoa has disappeared, and it’s pure him now, seducing me without even trying.

One of his hands cups my ass, pushing me down harder against him, rocking me in a way that has my balls tingling. I rip my mouth away from his, moaning, the sound loud and harsh in the soft space around us.

Staring up at me, Ashley slides his hand over my ass cheek until one of his big, thick fingers slips between and rubs against my hole, tantalizing me. I’m nodding before I even think about it, rutting against him frantically. “Yes. Please tell me you have stuff.”

He grunts and nearly dislodges me when he cranes over to grab at the bedside table, pulling out a bottle of lube with barely any left inside. I take it and start to open it, but he snatches it back.

“Let me.”

I suck in a breath and nod, not about to turn down the offer of feeling him preparing me to take what is definitely a proportionately sized cock. Definitely the biggest I’ve ever seen in person.

He guides me onto my back next to him, turning with me until he’s hovered above me, pressing kisses across my collarbones and down my sternum. His fingers touch me everywhere, so gently I can barely believe it’s this giant doing the caressing. Just beneath my chin. The curve of my shoulder. Skipping down my ribs until I jerk and giggle.

And then he’s right there, between my legs, and I watch with my breath held as he stares up at me and runs his tongue up the underside of my cock before swirling at the tip.

I dig my heels into the mattress beneath me, squirming against the sheets and gripping at his hair. “I need more of that. I might die if I don’t have it.”

Luckily, he’s more than willing to provide it, carefully exploring my length with his tongue and lips as he eases one slick finger inside me. It’s massive, and it’s a fraction of the size of his cock. I have to work on staying relaxed, letting him in, but then it doesn’t take too long before he’s slipping a second one inside me, and I’m gripping at his shoulders, nails digging into his smooth skin as I chant yes over and over beneath my breath.

When he lifts his head, I nearly scream at him until I see him shuffling across the mattress and digging through the bedside table again before cursing under his breath.

“What’s wrong?” I can barely catch my breath, my chest heaving.

“I don’t have any condoms,” he says, his voice harsh with desire.

“Oh.”

Right, protection. That’s definitely something I would normally worry about when my whole focus isn’t consumed by a man taking me apart with little touches and a blowjob that’s attempting to suck my soul out through my dick.

“My last test was negative,” I offer, and his head whips around, eyes intense. “And I haven’t been with anyone since then.”

“I’m negative too,” he says, slowly, carefully, like he doesn’t want to pressure me into anything.

I gently grip the back of his neck and give him a tug, which he follows easily. As soon as he’s right back on top of me where I want him, possibly forever, I arch up and whisper against his lips, “Keep going, then. I’m ready.”

The stark desire on his face imprints on my brain. No one’s ever looked at me the way he does, and I doubt anyone ever will again. We hold each other’s eyes as he slicks himself and then finds my entrance, waiting for me to nod once more before he starts to push inside. I hike my legs up, resting my heels on his low back as I breathe through the sharp, pleasurable pain. He is so big, but I need it. I need him. I need at least this one time together to get me through the rest of my life .

Or it’s going to ruin me for the rest of my life, but I can’t worry about that as he continues to sink further inside, filling up all of the empty, aching spaces and then some, until it feels like I’ll burst.

Then he’s all the way in, his hips pressing against my ass. Both of us are panting heavily, our breaths filling the air between us with warm, damp air.

“Okay?” he asks.

I nod, not sure I can form the words to express just how okay I am. How it feels like every nerve ending in my body is lit up, waiting to explode, on the precipice of something amazing and how I’m also fearing the downfall, but not enough to stop.

Not now. I can’t.

Ashley pushes up so he’s on his knees and arranges my legs over his massive shoulders. Then he plants his fists on either side of me, nearly bending me in half. He moves his hips back, drawing his cock out most of the way until his fat head is stretching my outer ring in a way that sends happy little zings through my limbs.

Staring into my eyes, he drives forward, filling me back up fast, slamming inside in a way that jolts my whole body. I grab onto his biceps, head arching back as pure pleasure begins to pool in my veins.

Each time he bottoms out, he grunts, the sound animalistic and teasing at my brain, driving me wild. I can’t help but whimper as he rubs against my prostate every time he sinks inside me, his thickness stretching me to the breaking point and touching all my sensitive bits perfectly.

His pace is fast and a little too hard but in the best fucking way. It’s so good I’m moaning, almost nonstop, unable to control myself as everything inside me ratchets tighter and tighter. My ecstasy skyrockets, flinging me into the stars.

“Uh, uh, uh,” I gasp out, throwing my arms up over my head and just letting go, letting him have every bit of me. Anything he wants, he can take.

I feel so small and helpless as he uses my body to give us both the most pleasure possible. He’s just so much bigger than me in every way, blocking out the entire room—the entire world —with his shoulders and chest.

As I start to hit my peak, my fingers curl around the pillow under me. “Yeah,” I encourage him as he changes his angle just enough. “Right there. Right fucking there. God yes .”

Ashley makes a growly, breathy sound that goes straight to the head of my dick and blows the top off. Every muscle in my body clenches as I curl in on myself, pressing my face into his bristly beard and choking out a groan. He keeps thrusting inside me, jackhammering as he chases his own release, sweat dripping from his brow.

I flop back onto the mattress, moaning pathetically. I’m so sensitive now, the size of him beginning to feel not so good, but then he stiffens above me, heat filling my raw insides. His jaw goes so tight I’m not sure how he doesn’t crack a tooth.

Then he’s sagging to the bed next to me, one arm thrown over my chest, his breath heaving in and out of his big body. Little sparks of pleasure are still erupting sporadically beneath my skin as I stare up at the ceiling and try to comprehend what exactly just happened and why I can’t stop touching him. I rub my palm up and down the arm stretched across me, sighing with pleasure as he scoots closer and buries his face in my neck, his beard scratching against my skin.

“That was…” I can’t think of a word to adequately describe it.

Apparently, he doesn’t need me to. “Yeah,” he grunts.

I keep looking up at the ceiling, processing the day, until he groans and flops onto his back. I glance at him, not sure I like the space between us. Before I can decide if I should do anything about it, he’s hauling me on top of him so that I’m plastered all down his front.

I settle in with a sigh, soaking in his warmth and resting my head on one of his pecs. I draw little hearts on his other one, my eyes lowering to half-mast as I start to truly relax.

“Thank you for making a really terrible day not quite so terrible.”

He snorts, his whole body moving, and he palms the back of my head, scratching at my scalp in a way that makes me want to purr like Carla. “You’re welcome.”

We’re silent for a little while, and I’m surprised when he breaks it.

“I thought it would be awful having someone else in my space, but it hasn’t been too bad, I guess.”

It’s my turn to laugh, lightly slapping at his chest. “Gee, thanks.”

He pinches my ass. “You know what I mean.”

I guess I do. I can’t imagine how uncomfortable he must have been when he first brought me home, being so used to being on his own and then having a stranger invading his space. Just makes me that much more grateful.

“What do you think you’ll do now?” he asks, tugging the quilt up over us when I shiver.

“About work?”

He grunts an agreement.

“I don’t know yet. I’ll probably do freelance work, I guess. I haven’t really had a chance to think about it too much.”

I’d been in shock most of the morning after talking to Daryn, and then this afternoon, we decorated the tree, and then… I smile against his chest, pressing a kiss next to his nipple and then settling in once more.

“Maybe I’ll actually focus on helping small businesses like I always wanted to.”

He makes a soft humming noise but doesn’t comment otherwise. Part of me starts to feel vulnerable. Would it be presumptuous to ask if I could come back once the snow clears? Or maybe he sometimes leaves the mountain. Would he be interested in visiting me?

Instead of spiraling about the future, I chatter softly about family and what it was like growing up in Stonewood Ridge with a million cousins. He mostly just listens, not sharing too much about himself, but I don’t take it personally .

When sleepiness starts to take over, I finally let us fall into comfortable silence.

Whatever the future brings, I won’t ever regret this time with him.

I’m just about asleep when I hear him say, “Stonewood Ridge is only about forty minutes from here.”

That wakes me back up in a big way. I lift my head to get a good look at his face, but he’s not looking at me. His eyes are closed, and he seems completely relaxed.

“Felt like longer yesterday.”

“Who knows what route your GPS took you.”

“That’s true.” Even before my phone died, it seemed like it had gotten confused about where we were going. “Do you go to Stonewood Ridge very often?” I ask tentatively, settling back down on top of him.

“I try not to.”

Disappointment washes over me, eyes prickling. “Oh, okay.”

His big hand cups the back of my head again, fingers digging in just a little. “But I might have reason to now.”

I can’t help it. I raise my head again and look at him. This time, I find him looking back. “Yeah?”

“Yeah, West.”

I sink my teeth into my lower lip, doing my best not to squirm with happiness. It’s hardly a declaration of love, but then again, we haven’t known each other that long. But his words make me think he’s willing to give us a chance to get to know each other, to venture down the mountain.

Relaxing into him, I smile against his salty skin.

I don’t know what a future between us will hold, but I do know my sweet mountain Scrooge went out of his way today to make me happy. I know he loves and cares for Carla. I know he’s willing to try.

And for right now, that’s enough.

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