Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

The silence stretched uncomfortably until the Queen spoke, her voice more melodious than the King's. "Valen, you understand why we're here."

"I do, Mother." Valen's tentacles tightened around Logan. "And I'm glad you came for me, but circumstances have changed."

"Changed?" The King's human features twisted into something between disappointment and anger. "You had an unfortunate accident. That doesn't change anything. The alliance with Prince Seren's family has been in preparation for three cycles. Their child was meant to be your mate."

The Queen tried a more understanding tactic. "No one can blame you for what happened, son. The heat inducers in your system would have overwhelmed anyone's reasoning. That’s their purpose."

Logan felt Valen tense against him. "Heat inducers?"

"A standard procedure," the King said dismissively. "Back in the old days, people let nature decide who to mate. These days we have the science to manufacture a mating bond. We use it to ensure compatibility between diplomatic matches."

Logan blinked. What did that mean?

The Queen looked at him. "Did Valen not tell you? He was injected before he was put into stasis for the journey. He was always meant to bond with the first person he saw upon waking up. That simply wasn't supposed to be you."

The words hit Logan like a physical blow. He pulled away from Valen's tentacles, earning a distressed sound from his mate. "You were forced into this by drugs?"

"Logan—"

"Tell me," Logan demanded. "Did you sleep with me because you were drugged? Is it this drug that still makes you want to please me?"

The temperature in the room seemed to drop as Valen's parents exchanged a satisfied look, as if Logan's reaction confirmed something for them.

"Logan, please." Valen begged him with his eyes. "Let me explain."

"As regrettable as this situation is," the Queen interjected smoothly, "it can still be salvaged. The alliance must be preserved." She turned to address her son directly. "Valen, you understand your duty as third royal son. Sometimes we must make sacrifices for our people."

"The Crystalline prince's family will be understanding, given the circumstances," the King added. "It's not ideal, but with the proper apologies and compensation... these things have happened before. A marriage can proceed even without a true bond."

Logan felt sick. Every touch, every moment of intimacy with Valen… had it all been nothing but chemicals? His skin crawled at the memory of drinking Valen's nectar, of craving it, needing it.

He steeled himself. "None of this was real, was it?"

"Of course it's not real," the Queen said, her voice too gentle for the words she spoke. "The bond you feel was engineered for a greater purpose. I am very sorry you were dragged into this as a bystander. Valen should never have landed on your planet."

"But I did!" Valen spoke up. "And we bonded, no matter how that bond came to be, it's real now. Would you have me turn my back on that?"

His mother did not seem moved. "Would you turn your back on your people?"

"I can't leave Logan now," Valen argued. "Our mating is still young. He still relies on my nectar."

"I don't want it." Logan's voice cracked. "Not if it was all just... chemicals. Not if none of it was real."

"But it is real," Valen insisted, his tentacles reaching for Logan only to pull back when Logan flinched away. "Yes, the heat inducers were meant for someone else. Yes, they made me bond with the first compatible being I encountered. But everything that came after…"

"Was the result of those same chemicals," the King cut in. "You know this, Valen. The bond compels certain behaviors, certain feelings."

"The same would have been true with my intended mate," Valen argued. "You would have had me form an artificial bond with them, yet you call what Logan and I have fake?"

The Queen's perfect features arranged themselves into a sympathetic expression. "The difference, my son, is that one serves a greater purpose. What you've done here, taking a mate who didn't know what was happening from a non-spacefaring world… It's not right. You know that. You couldn't expect us not to correct that mistake."

"You can't correct my mistake!" Valen insisted.

Logan wrapped his arms around himself, trying to hold together the pieces that felt like they were falling apart. He should have known he would end up getting hurt again. "Stop. Just... stop. I won't be the reason you abandon your responsibilities. I won't drink your nectar again. I won't. If you have to go, just go."

Logan turned and walked away, leaving Valen with his parents. In his bedroom, he sank onto his bed, deflated, exhausted. Through the closed door, he could no longer hear their voices. They'd probably shifted to their natural forms to communicate.

The silence felt oppressive.

He stared at his hands, remembering how just an hour ago they'd been covered in snow, building a snowman with Valen. How could something that felt so real, so right , have started with a lie?

The door opened several minutes later. Logan didn't have to look up to know it was Valen.

Despite everything, they were still connected.

"Logan."

"Don't," Logan said softly. "Just... don't."

"I need you to understand," Valen said, moving closer but not touching Logan. "What happened that first night…"

"I don't want to talk about that night." Logan's hands clenched in his lap, even as he couldn't stop the memories from assaulting his mind. "I don't want to talk about any of it."

"Logan, please?—"

"Your parents are waiting." The words came out sharper than intended, but Logan couldn't do this. Not now, not ever. He'd really thought he was starting to feel something for this alien. He'd let him in. How could he have been so stupid? "You should go make arrangements for your... diplomatic marriage."

Valen's tentacles coiled tightly. "That's not what I want."

"What you want?" Logan laughed, the sound harsh even to his own ears. "According to your parents, what you want is artificial. Caused by drugs designed for someone else."

"It's not like that."

"Isn't it?" Logan stood up, needing to move, to put space between them. His chest felt too tight. "Because from where I'm standing, it seems like you knew exactly what those chemicals would do. You knew they'd make you bond with the first person you saw, and you just... what? Decided not to mention it?"

"I couldn't…" Valen cast his gaze aside, as if admitting this pained him. "By the time I could think clearly enough to explain, we were already..."

"Already what? Mated? Bonded? Pretty words for something that was engineered in a lab." He got up and paced, needing to move to sort his thoughts. He looked out the window at the snowman. Such a stupid thing to have been doing. "You were supposed to meet someone else. Bond with them. Instead, you crashed here and... what? I was just convenient?"

"No!" Valen burst out. "When I saw you, I felt so lucky."

Logan whirled around to him. "But that feeling was never real. It was just... chemicals. Programming. Whatever you want to call it."

"Then why does it hurt so much?" Valen demanded. "If it's not real, why can I feel your pain like it's my own?"

Logan shook his head "Because that's what the drugs do, isn't it? Make us think we feel things we don't?"

Behind him, Valen made a sound of frustration. "You're not listening."

"I'm listening just fine." Logan closed his eyes. He had to make Valen stop. Had to make him see reason, before... before what? Before Logan got too attached? Before he let himself believe this could last? "Go back to your parents. Go meet your intended mate. Just... go."

If Logan was going to be left again, he didn't want to draw this out. He wanted to rip the bandaid off.

"And what of you?" Valen searched his face. "I can't let you go through withdrawal."

"I'll survive."

"The fever alone will be awful."

"I said I'll survive!" Logan's voice cracked. He turned his back to Valen, unable to look at him. "Just... please. Leave."

"No." The word hung in the air between them. "I won't let you suffer just because you think what we have isn't real."

Logan's laugh was bitter. "I don't think that. I know that."

"Stop." Frustration seeped into Valen's voice. "Stop acting like you know what I feel. You don't understand at all."

Logan made himself face the alien. "What do I not understand?"

Valen was silent for a long moment. When he spoke again, his voice was softer.

"Let me show you."

"What?"

"Let me show you what I really feel." Valen moved closer, a note of eager desperation in his voice. "Open your mind to mine. Completely."

Logan took a step back, his shoulder blades pressing against the cold window. "No."

"Why not?"

"Because..." Logan swallowed hard. Because it would hurt too much. Because if he let Valen in that deeply, losing him would destroy whatever was left of Logan's heart. "Because it won't change anything. You still have to go."

"If you truly believe that after seeing my truth, I'll go." Valen's tentacles reached for him but stopped just short of touching. "But at least give me a chance. Your human words are insufficient."

Logan stared at the space between them, at Valen's tentacles hovering just inches from his skin. There was something tempting about the offer, but also something terrifying. What might Valen see in him if Logan held nothing back? Would he see that Logan was only half a person now? That he'd jumped at all the warmth Valen had offered because he'd been too fucking lonely for too fucking long?

"What are you afraid of?" Valen asked.

"I'm not…" Logan trailed off. What was the point of lying when Valen could probably feel his fear through their bond anyway? "You'll see too much."

"I want us both to see everything," Valen said gently. "Complete honesty. No more barriers."

Logan wrapped his arms around himself. "Your parents are waiting."

"Let them wait."

Logan closed his eyes, conflicted. If he let Valen in… "What if… What if what you see in my head makes you want to leave even more?"

"That won't happen."

"You don't know that." Logan's voice trembled. "You don't know what's in my head. How broken I am. How much I—" He cut himself off, but the words hung in the air between them anyway. How much I need you.

One of Valen's tentacles gently brushed his cheek. "Then show me. Show me everything you're so afraid of me seeing."

Slowly, Logan opened his eyes, meeting Valen's topaz gaze.

"I know you're scared," Valen said. "I can feel it. But you're pushing me away because you think I'll leave, while I'm trying to show you why I won't."

"Your parents?—"

"Are not the ones bonded to you." Valen moved closer. "Let me show you what that really means. Not just what you think you know about our bond, but everything. Please."

Logan felt his resistance crumbling. He wanted so badly for Valen to prove him wrong.

"Okay." The word came out barely a whisper. Logan took a shuddering breath. "Okay."

Valen's tentacle moved up higher to touch his temple. "Are you sure?"

Logan almost laughed at that. No, he wasn't sure at all. But he was tired of being afraid. Tired of pushing away the one thing that had made him feel whole again. "Just... do it before I change my mind."

"Close your eyes," Valen murmured.

Logan let his eyes fall shut, feeling the gentle pressure of Valen's tentacle against his temple. For a moment, nothing happened. Then something warm spread through his mind, like sunlight breaking through clouds.

The sensation was nothing like their previous mental touches. Those had been surface-level, mere ripples compared to this tidal wave. Logan gasped as Valen's consciousness flowed into his mind, bringing with it a kaleidoscope of emotions and memories.

He saw himself through Valen's eyes that first night, not just a convenient accident, but a bright spot of wonder in the cold darkness after the crash. Felt Valen's wonder at their first real conversation, his growing fascination with Logan's quiet strength. The heat inducers might have created the initial attraction, but they hadn't created the way Valen ached every time Logan pulled away, hadn't manufactured the joy he felt at each small smile Logan gave him.

But more than that, he felt Valen's fear—fear of failing his people, yes, but overwhelmed by a deeper terror of losing Logan. Of watching him suffer through withdrawal. Of returning to that cold, empty space that existed before their bond.

This is what I feel, Valen's thoughts whispered through him. This is what's real.

Logan trembled under the weight of it all, his own mental walls crumbling. Everything he'd been holding back came rushing out. The crushing loneliness after Jeff's death, the way Valen's presence had started filling those empty spaces, and the paralyzing fear that he'd be left alone again.

I don't know how to let you go , Logan's thoughts confessed before he could stop them. I don't want to.

Valen's response came not in words but in a surge of fierce protectiveness, a determination that burned like starfire. Images flashed between them: Valen standing up to his parents, Logan by his side; the two of them finding a way forward together, whether on Earth or among the stars.

You won't have to be alone , Valen promised. I choose you. I will always choose you.

Logan's knees buckled under the weight of Valen's certainty, but the alien's tentacles held him steady. Physical touch grounded him as their minds remained entwined, sharing every fear, every hope, every truth they'd been too afraid to voice.

But your people… Logan's doubt crept in.

Will understand , Valen's thoughts interrupted. Or they won't. But I won't sacrifice what we have for political convenience.

Through their connection, Logan felt the truth of it. Felt how Valen's duty to his people paled in comparison to the bond they shared. Not just the chemical connection that had started it all, but everything that had grown from that beginning, everything that was still growing between them.

The warmth of their shared consciousness enveloped them both, until Logan felt something change. A creeping coldness spread through their connection, like poison in his veins.

Was that his own doubt manifesting again?

No.

Alarm spiked through Valen, and so it also spiked through Logan.

Something's wrong , Valen's thoughts came urgently. Logan, something's ? —

The cold intensified, driving into Logan's mind like needles of ice. He tried to pull away, but he couldn't move, couldn't even open his eyes.

What was this?

What was going on?

Father, no! Valen's mental voice rang with horror. What are you doing?

The King's presence manifested in their shared consciousness, vast and ancient and cold as deep space. What must be done. The bond can only be severed by death.

No! No! Logan felt his thoughts beginning to numb, memories growing distant and unreachable. Jeff's face. His parents. The snowman he'd built with Valen.

Get out! Valen's consciousness wrapped around Logan's, trying to shield him. It felt warm. Not warm enough. You can't do this!

I can, and I must , the King's thoughts came with implacable certainty. For our people. For the alliance.

The cold pressed deeper. Logan couldn't breathe, couldn't think. His heart was slowing, each beat more labored than the last. He felt Valen's panic, his desperate attempt to fight back against his father's power, but the King was too strong.

Logan! Valen's thoughts were frantic. Stay with me. Focus on my voice.

But the cold was everywhere now, seeping into every corner of Logan's mind. He was fading, falling into that crushing darkness.

Through their connection, he felt Valen's desperation turn to rage. Raw, primal fury that burned through their shared consciousness like a solar flare.

You will not take him from me!

Valen's mind surged against his father's presence, no longer defensive but attacking. All his life, Logan suddenly knew, he'd been the obedient son, accepting his father's power, his authority. But not now. Not with Logan's life slipping away.

The King's surprise rippled through their connection. You dare!

I dare , Valen's thoughts thundered. Get. Out. Of. His. Head.

Each word came with a mental blow that drove his father back. The King's power faltered, his iron grip on Logan's mind beginning to crack. Logan felt Valen's strength flowing through him, pushing back the killing cold.

You are not strong enough , the King snarled, but there was uncertainty in his mental voice now.

I am strong enough to protect what's mine , Valen's consciousness blazed brighter. You taught me that, Father. You taught me that a ruler protects what belongs to them. Logan is MINE.

With a final surge of power that felt like it might shatter Logan's skull, Valen drove his father out of their connection. The King's human form staggered backward, blood streaming from his nose, his perfect features twisted in shock and pain.

Logan collapsed to his knees, gasping for air. Valen's tentacles held him close, both of them shaking from the aftermath of the mental battle. Blood dripped from Valen's nose, iridescent and bright.

"Impossible," the King whispered, pressing one hand to his temple. "You were never this strong."

"I never had something worth fighting for," Valen's voice was raw, dangerous. "If you ever try to harm him again, I will not show mercy. Not even to you, Father, and then I will tell every family in the alliance how the great King tried to murder his own son's mate. How's that for diplomatic relations?"

The Queen's cool voice cut through the tension. "I warned you not to attempt this." She moved to support the King, who was still pressing his hand to his temple. "We might have convinced our son to live up to his duty, but now, thanks to your actions, we never will."

The King tried to speak, but she silenced him with a look. "Enough. You've done more than enough." To Valen, she added, "I will take your father back to his ship."

Her perfect features betrayed no emotion as she guided the King out, but the temperature in the room seemed to warm slightly with their departure.