11. Winston

Winston

My knee bounced as I stared at the snow outside of the cabin. It had stopped falling, and I wasn’t ready for us to face the real world.

“I think we have enough supplies for the rest of the day and tomorrow for breakfast,” Allie said, popping her head out of the kitchen. The smile on her face disappeared and concern laced her delicate features. “Win?” She stepped closer, but whatever she saw, whatever she thought I was overthinking, made her stop in her tracks. “What is it?” she asked, her green eyes studying me closely.

“Come here, princess.”

“Win––“ I shook my head and patted my lap. I watched on bated breath as she drew near. The moment she was within reach, I pulled her in, making her sit on my lap. “Is this when I tell Santa what I want for Christmas?” she joked, breaking the momentary silence that had fallen between us.

I could feel her nerves like my own.

“Yeah, baby. Tell me. What does my beautiful Alaska want Daddy Santa to bring her for Christmas?”

“You. Just you.” Her hands stroked the sides of my face. My eyes shut, and I slowed my breathing. Jesus, how was it that Allie made breathing easier?

“You already have me,” I promised and swallowed hard.

We had shit to talk about. “When we were having sex….” I started to say, and her head tilted, making her hair slide off her shoulder as she gave me her full attention.

“Yes?”

“You said something.”

“We both said a lot.”

“Something you haven’t said unless I’m balls deep inside you,” I interrupted. She turned a brighter shade of pink. “I want you to know you don’t have to say it. It’s okay if we got caught up in the moment and… and now that it’s the light of day, you’re thinking, feeling something else.” Her brows bunched together. Then her eyes widened. “Wait, are you… are you talking about me telling you that I love you?” she asked, and my jaw clenched.

“It was the moment and––“ I started, but she lightly pressed the tips of her fingers against my lips.

“Winston Nash.” She smiled and rolled her eyes playfully. “Don’t you get it?”

“Baby––“ I knew she loved me like I loved her. I just didn’t want her to feel like she’d said too much in the moment. I wanted her to know that we could play it all out at her speed.

“I’m not on the pill,” she shared, and I blinked, trying to bat away the surge of happiness those words brought to the surface. “I’ve never, not once, thought about taking anyone without protection.” That last little word was uttered just above a whisper.

“No one but you. I love you, Winston. I want you. Always. This whole thing… remember when we first met?”

“Of course, I’d do.” I frowned, and it wasn’t a lie. “First time my eyes connected with yours felt like catching lightning in a bottle.” I felt her relax on top of me. “Like I’d found treasure. Then, after our first date…” I swallowed hard. Her eyes followed my Adam’s apple as it rose and fell.

“It felt like what?” she asked softly. I tipped her head up so I could capture her green gaze.

“Like I was home. For the very first time.” Her eyes misted up with unshed tears before she gave me more of her weight.

“I want it all with you, Winston. Dirty, secret moments behind closed doors.” My dick started to harden all over again. The fucker thought he was twenty-two instead of closer to forty. “I want to live together, grow old together, start a family—" I could handle the overwhelming need to seal every wish she had with a kiss.

Whether I had fifty years left to breathe or fifty days, I’d make each one count and make sure each day was lived to make Allie smile and keep sharing what she wanted.

For a lifetime.

Nothing else would suffice.