Chapter 8

Eight

HANNAH

I missed Jake.

There, I finally admitted it to myself.

How could I not when our anniversary was approaching?

It was probably stupid to think about it that way, but ever since he’d returned the annulment papers with return to sender, I couldn’t seem to stop referring to him as my husband in my head.

You’re being an idiot, Hannah.

Jake and I would never work. He was too busy gallivanting around the world, and initially, that had been my plan too. We’d be like two ships passing in the night. That was no way to build a life that was taking the name of your occasional bed buddy.

After the Olympics, I’d been offered endorsement deals, job offers to teach or coach, speaking engagements, and all kinds of other stuff that would make me a lot of money. It should have thrilled me.

But it didn’t.

Perhaps when I was younger, I would have jumped at some of those opportunities.

Twenty-five wasn’t old, but spending every minute since I was three working toward a gold medal made you grow up pretty fast. Honestly, I’d never spent much thought on what would come next.

But now, I’d achieved my ultimate goal, and…I was tired. Tired of the grueling practices, the workouts, the diets, the competitions, the traveling…

So even if I left everything behind to be with Jake, I’d still be living that life vicariously through him. And that was not what I wanted to do with my life.

I didn’t know what I wanted to do yet.

I was used to being driven by something, a goal, all the time, and not knowing what to do next was stressing me out almost as much.

Which was probably why I was in such a funk lately.

Okay, and missing Jake.

Stop thinking about Jake!

“You need to get away, Hannah,” Cammie insisted over the phone. She’d called a few days ago to invite me and Wendy to go with her and a couple of other mutual friends on a two-week trip to Europe. Cammie would be defending her dissertation in November, so this would either be a celebratory trip or a trip out of town to keep her from stabbing the committee with—as she put it—“the sharp end of a snowman’s twig arms.”

Wendy had agreed almost immediately, but we would leave a couple of days before Christmas and not come home until after New Year’s. I didn’t want to leave my parents alone, especially since we’d missed last Christmas together. However, I’d casually mentioned it to my parents a few days later, and they’d thought it was a great idea. It seemed they’d noticed how lost I’d been lately and encouraged me to “find myself.”

It wasn’t a terrible idea. Maybe a couple of weeks of hanging with my girls would help me loosen up and get some ideas flowing. Besides, while I’d been to many places all over the world, I hadn’t really seen many of them.

The one thing this trip wouldn’t be able to solve was how to get over my husband.

She was calling me back to try one more time to convince me to go. She didn’t know I’d already told Wendy I would go. “Okay, I’ll come with you girls,” I agreed and laughed when Cammie squealed with delight. “Wendy had pretty much the same reaction.”

“Great! We are meeting at The Snowed Inn and their shuttle to the airport. That way, we don’t have to worry about cars.”

Meeting at her sister’s inn? That seemed like a recipe for disaster. I’d successfully avoided Jake for nearly a year. I wasn’t about to slip up so close to our…um…to Christmas.

I loved Winter Falls though, and the idea of seeing it again brought a spark of happiness to my dismal mood. Cranbury Cove was basically a smaller version of the idyllic place, but it didn’t have as magical of a feel. And I’d loved skating on the huge pond near the base of the resort. Once I started seriously training and preparing for a career as a figure skater, being on that pond was the only time I felt like I was skating just for myself and enjoying the freedom of flying over ice without a coach or judge scrutinizing my every move. It was simple fun, just like when I was a little girl.

I hadn’t been back since I moved to Colorado Springs, though, and it saddened me a little that I wouldn’t have time to stop at the pond. I was too eager to avoid Jake anddidn’t want to press my luck any more than I already was.

“Why don’t I just meet you all at the airport?” I suggested.

“Why would you drive all the way there from Cranbury Cove and then have to park your car? It doesn’t make sense. The other girls are staying overnight, but if you really want to, you can meet us at the inn on the morning of our flight.”

“Overnight at the inn?”

She giggled. “Yeah, Raven has a couple of open cabins, so we’ll use mine and one other.”

I was trying to figure out how to find out about Jake’s plans nonchalantly. “What if your family needs them? Won’t your brother be coming home for Christmas?”

“Yeah, but he won’t be there until Christmas Eve. Besides, he stays with my parents when he comes home.” She laughed. “It’s how he keeps my mom from pestering him about being gone for long periods of time.”

I sighed in relief.

“Although,” she continued, “I don’t know how he puts up with her matchmaking. It’s bad enough not living there and dealing with it.”

That had my spine going rigid. “Matchmaking?”

“My mom is convinced that none of her kids will be happy until they are married and making babies.” Cammie’s voice was filled with frustration, but I could also hear the affection she had for her mom.

“She’s especially bad with Raven and me, though. My mom has always been a bit old-fashioned, and she can’t seem to wrap her head around the fact that we are independent women who can handle responsibility without a man. When my sister took over The Snowed Inn from my parents, I don’t have a clue how she put up with all of my mom’s interference and setups.”

I chuckled, feeling a little better that his mom wasn’t throwing women at him. Then again, he probably wasn’t around often enough for her to set him up with dates if she was hoping it would go somewhere.

For a moment, I wondered if she would like me, then reminded myself that it didn’t matter.

It made me nervous to be in Jake’s town, at his sister’s inn, so close to when he’d be there. But Cammie’s plan made sense, so I conceded, “As long as it won’t displace anyone, I’ll come up the night before.”

“Great!”

“I’m sure I can drive up there with Wendy, but we’ll have to leave after her practice, so we probably won’t be there until around dinnertime.”

“No problem. We can grab a bite to eat at the steakhouse in the lodge or take a gondola up to The Cocoa Summit Café. It’s up on the mountain by the top of the highest ski run.”

“Sounds like fun,” I replied with a little more brightness. I was feeling a little excitement over the adventure.

We talked about a few more details, then hung up, and I called Wendy to let her know what I’d decided.

“I’m so happy you’re coming with, Hannah. Maybe you’ll meet some dashing European billionaire who will sweep you off your feet and make you forget about your Vegas hookup.”

My best friend was the only one who knew about my time with Jake, although I hadn’t told her about the wedding. And despite spending the evening with his friend, she hadn’t figured out who he was. I’d only admitted that he was a snowboarder who traveled constantly and lived a more glamorous life than I wanted for myself.

I kept my voice casual when I queried, “What makes you think I’m still hung up on him?”

Wendy scoffed. “Don’t try to bullshit me, bestie. I’ve seen the moping you’ve been doing. Although, I’ll admit, you’ve hidden it pretty well from everyone else.”

“I have not been moping,” I defended irritably.

She sighed. “Lie to yourself if you must, but don’t expect me to pretend you’re not miserable.” She paused. “Tell me why it won’t work again?”

I didn’t want to get into this discussion again. “It just won’t. Now, let’s talk about what to pack for the trip…”

By the time we arrived at The Snowed Inn, I was more than ready to have a fabulous trip with my girls. I just had to get through one night at the Winter Falls Resort. My stomach was in a constant state of knots, and it didn’t help that there was a massive blizzard in the forecast. We were supposed to beat it out of there, but with the way the snow was accumulating, I was growing more and more worried.

When the morning arrived, Cammie left while we were still packing up our stuff. She was going to say goodbye to her family, then meet us in the lobby to grab the shuttle to the airport.

I tried not to notice all the skiers and snowboarders around the area by keeping my head down and studying the forecast on my phone.

That shuttle couldn’t come soon enough for me.