Chapter Ten

M elly’s wedding day was a flurry of last-minute preparation, with caterers all over the house and wedding guests arriving in droves even as Abby was helping her sister get into the wedding gown she’d designed.

“It’s just heaven.” Melly sighed, looking at herself in the mirror. The dress had a keyhole neckline, and it was lavishly trimmed with appliquéd Venice lace. The veil of illusion net that went with it fell from a Juliet cap down to drape over an elegant train. The sleeves were pure lace, the skirt a fantasy of satin and chiffon and more lace, and the Empire waistline featured a row of the most intricate tiny roses in contrasting oyster white. With Melly’s blond hair and fair skin, it was sheer magic.

“I can’t believe I actually finished it on time,” Abby murmured as she made a last tuck in the hem.

“I can’t believe you actually designed it,” her sister replied. “Abby, it’s the most gorgeous thing! Jessica will just die.”

“I hope not,” came the amused reply. Abby sighed, thinking about what might have been. She’d have to refuse that attractive offer now. It would only have worked if she had stayed in Montana. And, of course, that was impossible. Cade had done everything but move away to keep the distance between them. He wasn’t ever at home now, finding excuse after excuse to be up with the dawn and out until bedtime. Sometimes he even camped out with the men in the line cabins, shocking Calla, who gave up on keeping his supper for him and started sending his meals up with Jeb and the boys.

“Melly, be happy,” she said suddenly, breaking out of her reverie.

Melly turned, her eyes sparkling and full of love and excitement, her hands trembling with anticipation. “How could I help but be, when I’m marrying Jerry?” she asked. Her joy faded slightly though, when she looked at Abby. “Darling, what’s gone wrong between you and Cade?”

“Nothing that hasn’t always been wrong,” she replied with a cool smile. “Don’t you worry about me on your wedding day! Let’s get you married, okay?”

“Are you sure you can cope with the computer and all the extra work?”

“I can cope,” Abby said quietly. Impulsively, she hugged Melly. “I want years and years of happiness for you. I only wish our parents could be here, to see what a beautiful bride you make!”

“Maybe they’re watching,” came the soft reply. “Did you see the flowers, Abby? Wasn’t it grand of Cade to let us have the wedding here? All those guests…”

“…will probably have the opportunity to take a look at the bulls he’s selling while they’re on the place,” Abby finished with a bitter smile.

“Shame on you,” Melly said gently. “You know how generous Cade is.”

Abby flushed and turned away. “We see him in different ways, though. I wonder if he’ll show up for the ceremony?”

“He’s best man—he’ll have to.” Melly laughed. “Think you can walk down the aisle on his arm without tripping him?”

“I’ll fight the temptation, just for you. You’ll listen for the music?”

“I’ll listen. See you downstairs.”

Abby smiled. “See you downstairs.”

She walked out into the hall, checking her own long, V-necked lavender gown for spots or wrinkles. It was sleeveless, and her hair was pinned elegantly atop her head. She carried a bouquet of cymbidium orchids, and she was shaking with nerves. This would be her first wedding, and while she was honored to be her sister’s maid of honor, she would rather have been an observer. The hardest thing of all was going to be standing beside Cade at that altar.

She went down the stairs and stopped dead when she caught sight of a redheaded Amazon standing in the doorway. Ignoring the ranch wives, some of whom she knew, she made a beeline for the newcomer, knowing instinctively who she was. Cade, watching from the cleared-out living room where the ceremony would take place, scowled darkly when he saw her bypass the country women to rush to the elegantly dressed newcomer.

“You’ve got to be Jessica Dane,” Abby said immediately.

The towering redhead grinned. “How’d you guess? It was my beaming smile, right?” She laughed, towering over Abby in her three-inch heels. Barefoot, Jessica would have been almost six feet tall. With her red hair and pale skin and big black eyes, she would have drawn eyes anywhere, even without the mink stole and vivid green silk dress she was wearing with matching shoes and bag.

“You must be Abby, then,” Jessica said, extending her hand in a firm, warm handshake. “Come on out to my car for a minute, and let me show you what I brought! Have we got time?”

“A few minutes, anyway.” Abby laughed. She went out with Jessica without a backward glance, unaware of the dark scowling face watching her.

“These were just some of my lines,” Jessica said when they were seated in the Lincoln Continental’s comfortable interior, and Abby thumbed through several catalogs, admiring the fashions.

“They’re very good,” she said finally.

“They could be better, if I had a house designer,” Jessica said. “I’m prepared to offer you a percentage of my gross, Abby. I think you could make us both rich. Richer,” she corrected, laughing. “You’ve got some unique designs, if Melly’s wardrobe is anything to go by. I’d love to have you do a few sketches, at least, and send them to me.”

Despite her haste to get back to New York, Abby was willing to do that. In fact, she and Jessica got so caught up in a discussion of the particulars, they almost missed the opening chords of the organ. It wasn’t until Cade shouted from the front porch that Abby clambered out of Jessica’s car and rushed up the steps, with the Amazon at her heels.

“If you can spare the time, everyone else is ready to start,” Cade said under his breath as she passed him.

“And the sooner this is over, the sooner she’ll be back from her honeymoon, which means I can leave,” she shot back, glaring up at him.

“Lady, it won’t be quick enough to suit me,” he returned hotly.

She brushed past him, oblivious to Jessica’s puzzled stare, and went right to the doorway of the living room, arriving just as the prelude finished.

Cade joined Jerry at the altar, the two of them such a contrast in their suits—Cade dark and elegant, Jerry blond and obviously uncomfortable. Then the wedding march sounded and Abby gripped her orchids, shooting a glance at the staircase to find Melly waiting there. As she walked between the folding chairs, she discovered that down the aisle Cade was watching every step she made, an expression in his eyes that she couldn’t begin to understand.

For one wild instant, Abby pretended that this was her own wedding, that she was giving herself to Cade for all time. It was so delicious a fantasy that she stared at him the whole length of the aisle. He stared back at her, his face momentarily softening, his eyes black and glittering as she went to stand at her place beside the flowered arch of the altar. His eyes held hers for a long, blazing moment, and her lips parted on a rush of breath as she felt the force of the look all the way to her toes.

Then the organ sounded again, and the spell was broken as Melly came down the aisle in the gorgeous gown, carrying orchids and wildflowers in a unique bouquet.

Melly walked to the altar and stood nervously beside Jerry. The minister, a delightful man with thick glasses and a contagiously happy expression, read the marriage service. Jerry and Melly each read the special wording that they’d prepared for themselves, and they lit one candle together from two separate candles to signify the joining of two people into one. The final words were read. Jerry kissed the bride for so long that some members of the wedding party began to giggle. And all at once it was over and they were running down the aisle together.

Abby kept out of Cade’s way at the reception, sitting aside with Jessica while they discussed modeling and clothes and the future of Jessica’s boutique.

Then, all too soon, Melly was dressed in her street clothes and the happy couple rushed out the door to start on their honeymoon. Abby kissed them both and wished them well, and stood by while Melly stopped at the car to toss her wedding bouquet. Calla, dressed in gray and looking unusually sedate, caught it and blushed a flaming red—especially when thin old Jeb, suited up in a rare concession to civilization, looked at her and grinned.

Abby was grateful that she hadn’t caught it. That would have been the final thrust of the knife, to feel Cade’s sharp eyes on her, seeing the aching hunger she couldn’t have hidden from him.

Hours passed before the guests drifted away, and Abby saw Jessica off with a promise to put some sketches in the mail at her earliest opportunity. She liked Jessica very much. And perhaps there was a way for her to accept the job. If she moved to Wyoming, she’d be far enough away that she wouldn’t ever have to see Cade again.

Abby changed into a cotton dress with gold patterning that complemented her pinned-up blond hair and sat down at the supper table expecting to eat alone. It was a surprise when Cade walked into the dining room, wearing a white shirt and blue blazer with dark slacks. He looked impossibly handsome, and as elegant as anything New York might produce.

“Ain’t we pretty, though?” Calla murmured, eyeing him as she began to serve the food.

“We shore is,” he returned, pursing his lips at her gray dress, which she hadn’t changed. “I noticed the way Jeb was looking at you.” His eyes narrowed. “Did you bake me another cherry cake and give it to him again?”

The older woman flushed and scowled all at once. “You hush, or I’ll burn your supper. You know I gave him the cake on account of he bailed me out when I burned the supper I was cooking for those ranchers you invited here! And what are you doing back here with roundup in full swing? I thought you’d be heading for the hills the minute the words were spoke.”

“I live here,” he reminded her.

“Could have fooled me,” she muttered, waddling out of the room.

Abby fixed her coffee and kept her eyes on her plate. She was still smarting from the ugly remark Cade had made earlier.

“Since we’re not speaking, shall I ask Calla to ask you to pass me the salt?” Cade asked coolly.

She handed it over, setting it down before he could take it from her.

“Who was the redheaded Amazon you couldn’t part company with?” he asked.

She didn’t like the bite in his tone, but it was none of his business who Jessica was. “Another model,” she lied, staring at him.

His face hardened. “A successful one, judging by that mink and the Lincoln,” he remarked. He smiled bitterly. “Or is she being kept by some man?”

Abby slammed her napkin down by her plate and got up. “Eat by yourself. I can’t stand any more of your self-righteousness!”

“You can’t stand ordinary people, either, can you?” he challenged. “You walked right past Essie Johnson, and you grew up with her. She wasn’t good enough for your exalted company, no doubt, being a simple rancher’s wife and all.”

That cut to the quick. How could he think her so heartless when in fact she’d gone out of her way to find Essie at the reception and had apologized for what might have appeared to be a snub?

“Think what you like—you will anyway,” she said and walked out of the room.

During the week that followed, Cade made himself scarce. Abby spent her lonely days answering correspondence, putting records into the computer, ordering supplies and answering the phone. If she’d had any hopes that Cade might decide to ask her to stay, they were destroyed by his very indifference. He didn’t seem to care whether she spoke to him or not, and while he was courteous, he wasn’t the friendly, teasing man of happier times.

The Thursday night before Melly and Jerry were due back on Friday, Abby wandered out by the swimming pool, lost in memory.

Her eyes narrowed on the bare concrete—it was still too early in the year to fill the pool, so it was empty. It seemed a hundred years ago that she’d defiantly stripped off her clothes and gone swimming in it, a lifetime since Cade had found her here half-nude. She’d been hopeful then. She’d had dreams of sharing more than a bed with him. But he’d gently pushed her away. And he hadn’t let her come close again, except briefly and physically.

“Remembering, Abby?” Cade asked quietly, coming up behind her from the house.

He was wearing slacks and a burgundy knit shirt that made him look darker and more formidable than ever. His hair was damp, as if he’d showered, and he made Abby’s heart race.

She glanced away from his probing gaze. “I was just getting some air, Cade,” she murmured.

“The kids come home tomorrow,” he remarked carelessly, although the look in his eyes was anything but careless. “I suppose you’ll be leaving shortly?”

That hurt. It was as though he couldn’t wait to be rid of her, and she felt the hot threat of tears. She shrugged. “I have commitments. I told you that when I first got here.”

He nodded. He held a smoking cigarette in his hand, but he gave it a hard glare and tossed it to the ground and crushed it under his boot.

“You smoke too much,” she observed.

He laughed shortly. “I know. I hate the damned things, but it’s a habit of long standing.”

Like pushing me away, she thought, but didn’t speak. Her eyes scanned the starry sky and she wrapped her arms tight around the little blue dress she was wearing.

“Cold, honey?” he asked gently.

She shook her head. “Not very. Calla and Jeb have gone to a movie,” she said for no reason.

“And that means that we’re alone in the house, doesn’t it?” he said. His eyes narrowed. “What do you want me to do about it, Abby, carry you up those stairs to my bedroom, the way I did once before?” He laughed bitterly. “Sorry, honey, I stopped giving lessons that day by the river. Maybe you can find somebody in New York to take over where I left off.”

It was like being cut to pieces. “Maybe I can,” she said in a taut voice. She turned. “It’s late. I’d better go in.”

He caught her arm hesitantly, and that puzzled her. He didn’t pull her closer, but held her just at his side. “Were you hoping I might come out here?”

She had been, but she would have died rather than admit it now. “I told you before, I’m through throwing myself at your feet, Cade,” she replied calmly. “Don’t worry, you’re perfectly safe. You can always lock your bedroom door, can’t you?”

“Stop that. It’s nothing to joke about.”

“I wasn’t joking.” She tugged her arm free. “Good night, Cade.”

“Talk to me, damn it!” he burst out.

“About what?” she shot back. “About my bad manners, my sickening career or my loose morals, all of which you seem to think I enjoy!”

He stiffened. “I’ve never accused you of having loose morals.”

“Except when I come anywhere near you,” she said with a bitter laugh.

“You won’t try to see my side of it,” he ground out. “You’re just playing games, but I’m not. I’m too old for it.”

“Excuse me, grandpa, I’ll try not to unsettle you…Cade!”

He jerked her against him and his hands hurt where they gripped her arms. “I want you,” he said under his breath. “Don’t tempt me. I’m very nearly at the end of my patience as it is. I want you away from Painted Ridge before I do something I don’t want to do.”

Her lips trembled. “You think I’d let you?” she whispered.

His eyes met hers. “I know you would, and so do you. We go off like dynamite when we start touching each other.” His hands dropped. “But it isn’t enough. I want more than a feverish night of physical satisfaction. You’d give me that, and I’d give it back. But it’s nothing I couldn’t have from any of a dozen women,” he added coldly. “And it’s not going to happen—if you get out of here in time.”

It was a warning that she was willing to heed. A night with Cade would make it impossible for her to live without him, and she was wise enough to realize it. She dropped her eyes.

“I’ll arrange to go Saturday morning,” she said.

His face hardened at her subdued tone, but he only nodded. “It’s for the best. You came to me hurt, and I hope I’ve helped you to heal. But your world isn’t mine. The longer you stay, the harder it gets….”

He didn’t finish it. Instead he lit another cigarette. “You’d better go in. It is getting cold out here.”

“Arctic,” she mused, glancing up at him. She gathered her poise and her pride and smiled grimly as she brushed past him and went back inside. She moved quickly, grateful that he couldn’t see the tears that slid down her cheeks as she went up the stairs. They made her oblivious to the dark eyes that followed her almost worshipfully until she was out of sight.

* * *

Melly and Jerry came home looking tanned and rested from their Florida vacation and blissfully happy with each other. Abby could hardly bear their happiness, since it reminded her so graphically that she’d lost every chance of having any of her own with Cade.

“How’s everything going here?” Melly asked when they were alone, Jerry having ridden up into the hills to help with roundup.

“Just fine,” Abby lied, “but I’ve had a call from my agency and there’s a possibility of a long-term contract for a bottling company. I’m terribly excited about it.”

Melly’s face fell. “You’re going back to New York? But I thought…?”

“Now that you’re home, I can leave it all in your capable hands,” Abby said with a forced smile. “I’ve missed New York, and it will be great to get back to work.”

“But the attack, the reason you came here…”

“Cade helped me over it,” Abby said quietly. “I’ll always be grateful to him for that. But he wants no part of me—he’s made that quite clear. I’m going to do him a favor and go away.”

“He loves you, you stupid idiot!” Melly burst out.

Abby flinched and tears welled up in her eyes. “No!” she said huskily. “If he feels anything, it’s anger because I preferred modeling to ranch life.”

“Have you talked to him, at least?”

“Sure,” Abby agreed, not adding that they’d argued every second they were together. “We’ve both agreed that I have no place in his life, or he in mine.” She turned around and walked toward the stairs. “I’m going to pack. Want to help me? I’ve made reservations on a plane in the morning.”

“Oh, Abby, don’t do it!” Melly pleaded.

But all her pleading and all her reasoning didn’t sway her stubborn sister. The next morning Cade drove the two women out to the airport.

It had been a shock to find him at the wheel of the big sedan when it pulled up at the front door. He was wearing the same navy blazer and dark slacks he’d worn the other night at supper, but he had a striped blue tie over his white silk shirt. The only Western thing about him was his dressy cream Stetson and leather boots.

Her flight was being called as they walked into the terminal, and Abby hugged Melly quickly, suitcase in hand, before she boarded the plane. Tears welled up in her eyes.

“Write to me,” she pleaded.

“I will,” Melly promised. Her eyes narrowed. “I wish you wouldn’t go.”

“I have to. I have commitments.” She told the lie with panache and a faint smile.

Cade didn’t say a word. He stood looking down at her with eyes so dark they seemed black, a smoking cigarette in one hand, his face like flint.

Abby forced herself to look up at him. She was wearing shoes with only tiny heels, and he was taller than ever. Bigger. The most impossibly handsome man she’d ever known, and her heart ached just at the sight of him.

“Bye, Cade,” she said quietly. “Thanks for letting me stay so long.”

He only nodded. His chest rose and fell heavily, quickly, and his lips were set in a thin line.

“Well…I’d better go,” Abby said in a high-pitched tone.

Cade threw the cigarette into one of the sand-filled ashtrays and abruptly reached for Abby, crushing her against the length of his body. The suitcase fell and she struggled helplessly for a moment, until he subdued her with nothing more than his firm hold.

She stared into his fierce eyes and stopped fighting, and they looked at each other in a tense, painful exchange that made Abby’s knees feel as though they would fold under her. Her lips parted on a sobbing breath, and he bent his head.

It was like no kiss they’d ever shared. His mouth eased down over hers so softly she hardly felt it, and then it moved harder and deeper and slower and rougher until she moaned and reached up, clinging to his neck. He lifted her against him, still increasing the pressure of his arms, his mouth, until she felt as if they were burning into each other, fusing a bond nothing would ever sever. She wanted him. She wanted him! Her mouth, her body, her aching moan told him so, and she could feel the tremor of his own body as the kiss went on and on.

Finally, slowly, he eased her back down onto the floor and breath by breath took his mouth away. His arms slackened and withdrew, although his steely hands held her until she was steady again.

His eyes searched hers. “Goodbye, Abby,” he said in a voice like steel.

“Goodbye, Cade,” she whispered brokenly.

He brushed his fingers against her cheek, unsteady fingers that touched her as if she’d already become a beautiful illusion. “My God, how I could have loved you!” he breathed. And then, before she could believe her own ears, he turned and strode quietly away, without once looking back.

Abby stared after him, uncomprehending. “Did…did I just hear what I thought I heard?” she murmured.

“What, honey?” Melly asked gently, coming back within earshot. “I was being discreet. Gosh, what a kiss that was! And you’re leaving?”

Abby sighed bitterly. Surely she’d dreamed it, or misunderstood…or had she? She took a steadying breath. “I have to go. I’ll miss my flight. Melly, take care of him?”

“You could have done that yourself, if you’d told him the truth,” Melly said softly. “It’s still not too late. You could catch him.”

“He wouldn’t listen,” she said wearily. “You know how Cade is when he makes up his mind, and I’ve gone mad and started hearing things again. Back to the salt mines, Melly. I’m fine now, I’m just fine. Take care. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” She searched her sister’s eyes. “He couldn’t have kissed you that way without caring one hell of a lot. Think about that. Hurry now!”

Abby waved and ran for the plane. And all the way back to New York she thought and thought about that long, hard kiss and what she imagined Cade had said until she all but went crazy. Finally, in desperation, she tucked the memory in the back of her mind and closed her eyes. It was over now; he’d sent her away. Looking back was no good at all. She’d had time to recuperate and get herself back together. Now she had to put Montana and Cade behind her and start over. She could do it. After all, her career was all she had left.