6

When Wesley doesn’t come back, I spend the next few minutes curled on the couch, staring hollowly into the fire. It’s dying, the embers sparking and dimming, and I can’t help but see it as a sign.

Every moment without Wesley makes me want to scream. We’ve been practically joined at the hip since the day we met. I feel empty, like the shell of a person. My stomach rumbles, letting me know I skipped lunch to sit on the floor and watch Wesley dig through the closet.

Forcing myself off the couch, I shuffle into the kitchen. I don’t have the energy to make a meal so I pull out a can of camping pasta and heat it on the stove. When it’s ready, I grab a spoon and lean against the kitchen window to eat.

It reminds me of Wesley in the bedroom, his back turned to me, staring out at the beginning of the snowstorm. My stomach clenches.

Everywhere I look, I see traces of him. His guitar propped against the chair he’d abandoned to kiss me by the fire, the breakfast plates arranged neatly by the sink, a Stephen King novel lying open on the small kitchen table, waiting for him to come back and finish the last few chapters.

His things are everywhere, even when he isn’t. Like a ghost I can’t quite catch.

The pasta is hot and bland. I bury my nose into his sweatshirt as I chew, inhaling the pine scent of him.

With Wesley gone, I’m forced to think. About him, about our friendship, and my feelings for him. Because I do have feelings for him. I don’t know how I’ve never noticed until now; I think I’ve liked him since the moment I first saw him.

We met at Callum’s moving-in party in freshman year. I’d known Callum from Fresher’s Week where we hit it off instantly, sharing our love for 2000s sitcoms. Callum was the first friend I made, so when he invited me to his party I said yes without hesitating.

It wasn’t so much a party as a gathering of his closest friends, but there was beer and a retro speaker blasting 90s music, so I was prepared to have a good time. I wasn’t expecting my boyfriend at the time to call and break up with me right there over the phone.

The next part is a bit blurry because I downed as many alcoholic drinks as I could stomach until I couldn’t anymore. I’d finished throwing up in Callum’s joined bathroom and was gargling mouthwash when a tall, broad figure opened the door.

My first thought was God, this guy is big, and then God, this guy is handsome. I must have said it out loud because that was the first time I saw that damned blush redden Wesley’s cheeks and slide down the collar of his neatly ironed shirt.

I spent the rest of that party sipping a glass of water, my shoulder pressed against Wesley’s on Callum’s couch as we spoke about anything and everything. Our favorite movies (Memento for him, Mamma Mia for me), our favorite bands (he listed bands from the 90s I hardly knew, and my recommendations were all indie rock), and what foods we liked the most (pancakes for both of us).

He told me he’s always wanted to hike the Oregon mountains and all I wanted to do was spend more time with him, so I agreed to come with him. I think it was his eyes that did it. He looked at me like everything I said interested him, and I would have done anything for him if he’d look at me like that again.

Three years later, I’m sitting in a couple”s cabin by myself, chewing stale pasta out of a can and wishing I could rewind time. I would go back to that party, crowded beside Wesley in the dim light, and kiss him senseless. Like he wanted to do to me.

The memories make my heart ache. My fork hits the bottom of the pasta can, and I’m putting it in the sink to rinse later when something catches my eye. A piece of scrap paper.

Gone to inspect snow levels around the perimeter, it reads. If all is well, we should reach the peak by midday tomorrow.

I’m sorry about being pissy this morning, I was an asshole. Please don’t be mad at me.

Yours, Wesley F. Campbell.

He must have written the note before he left to check the snow this morning, and I missed it. He’d told me where he was going but I guess Wesley’s version of politeness requires a note.

The sight of his handwriting, neat and sloping, kickstarts my brain, shifting the world into focus. I stare down at the note, eyes lingering on Yours.

Please don’t be mad at me, he said, like I could ever. Like I wouldn’t do anything for him, including climb a mountain despite hating exercise.

Trembling, I place the note down on the counter and press my face into my hands. I’ve been an idiot. I can’t believe I didn’t see it all this time.

I like Wesley Campbell way more than just a friend.

The sun is on its way to setting by the time I make my way outside, shivering and drawing my hiking jacket closer around myself. Snow, heavy and deep, blankets the ground. I make it a few feet away from the front door, my boots sinking a few inches into the snow, before pausing. Where could Wesley have gone?

All his stuff is still in the cabin, so he couldn’t have hiked down to the base. I take a deep breath, inhaling cold, crisp air, and shove my hands deeper into my pockets.

My eye catches on something in the snow and I walk closer. Footsteps. Gritting my teeth against the cold, I set off in the direction of the marks.

*

I’m winded by the time I reach the end of the trail. A glance at my phone tells me it’s only been ten minutes since I started walking, following the footsteps all the way.

I emerge from a small path surrounded by pine trees to a clearing that overlooks a small lip on the mountain. Somehow, I’ve reached the end of the pre-determined hiking trail.

Wesley stands on a small wooden viewing platform, leaning against the barrier. His back is turned to me, but his shoulders are hunched beneath his jacket. He doesn’t turn around as I approach.

My heart aches and I want to wrap my arms around him and kiss the mole at the base of his neck. But I’ve got work to do, first. I need to fix my mistakes.

“Hey,” I say.

He rubs a hand over his face. “I’ll be down in a bit to help you pack, I just wanted to clear my head.”

“You don’t have to. We have one more day left, right?”

He’s quiet for a moment, still refusing to look at me as he stares out at the scene. It’s beautiful. The snow-covered ground stretches out in front of us like cake fondant. The sky is aflame, a gradient of orange and pink that casts warm sunlight over every surface. It lights up Wesley’s face and I’m struck again by how gorgeous he is.

“I’m sorry.” The words blurt out from me like water behind a dam. “I was an asshat to you, and you don’t deserve that. I lied earlier. When you said— that stuff.”

“There’s no need to be sorry about how you feel, Ollie. I understand.”

“You do?”

He finally looks at me. It’s a quick glance out of the corner of his eye, but it sets my nerves on fire all the same.

“It’s fine if you don’t like me back,” he says. “You don’t owe me your heart.”

I feel the wild urge to grab his shoulders and shake him. “That’s not what I meant. What I said earlier, I was lying. I didn’t think someone like you could be into someone like me.”

“That’s ridiculous, Ollie. I already told you how I felt about you.”

“I know, I know. But my ex… he never wanted to be with me, not the way I wanted with him. I never told you because I wanted to forget him, and I thought I’d put it all behind me but clearly not. I found out he was cheating on me the same night he broke up with me.”

That gets his attention. He’s frowning, hands clenched into fists by his sides.

“Why are you telling me this now?” he asks, voice clipping on the words.

I shrug, sticking my hands into my pockets. It’s cold up here. “To explain myself? He used to tell me nobody could love a freak like me and that I was lucky he allowed me anywhere near him. He would ask me to do his homework and withhold his touch if I said no. I guess I got used to the idea that I don’t deserve that kind of affection.”

And then I met Wesley, who not once has ridiculed me for being who I am.

“I know I can be a bit oblivious,” I continue, gaze flickering to stare out at the mountain. “But I didn’t think you liked me that way. I know better now, though, and I— I like you, Wes, and I realized that I want something more than rubbing myself against you like a horny dog. Though,” I pause, grinning at him. “That was fun, and I’d like to do it again sometime. If you’ll let me.”

If I haven’t ruined everything.

Wesley is staring now, open and unabashedly, that lovely blush deepening his cheeks. He surges forward until he’s towering over me, and I have to tilt my head to look into his eyes. My stomach flutters.

“Are you sure you want to do this? With me?”

“As sure as I’ve ever been,” I say solemnly. “I want to be with you.”

He looks at me in disbelief. “You just figured this out now?”

“I think I’ve known for a while, but I didn’t want to admit it. I’m sorry for putting you through that, Wes. You didn’t deserve it.”

I lick my lips, watching him track the movement. But I can’t touch him, not yet. I need him to know I mean it. Looking back on it, we’ve practically been together for three years, never leaving each other’s side. I feel safe around him like I do with nobody else, I was just too scared to see it before. Being near him feels right and I want to chase that for as long as I can.

I’m tired of being scared and anxious. For the first time since my ex broke up with me, I’m ready to live my life.

Wesley reaches out towards me but stops himself, his hand lingering in the air.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” he says, his voice thick with emotion. “It feels like I’ve been holding myself back for so long, I’m almost ready to burst.”

I grin. “I can help with that.”

“Do you know what you do to me? You’re a menace, Oliver Gray.”

“I know,” I say. “But I want to be your menace.”

Wesley wraps his arms around my waist and captures my mouth with his. His skilled tongue licks me open until I’m panting against him, clutching at his shoulders to keep myself from toppling down the mountain range. His lips are chapped but soft and the inside of his mouth is warm. I lose myself in the feeling of him curling protectively around me, shielding me from the worst of the winter cold.

When we finally pull back, our faces still pressed close, snowflakes dust the tips of his eyelashes.

“It’s snowing,” I say against his mouth. “What if we get snowed in again?”

“What a shame that would be,” he says, not sounding regretful at all. “Whatever shall we do with all that extra time?”

“I can think of a few things.” I stand until I’m on my tiptoes and press a kiss to his nose. “I like you, Wes. A lot.”

He’s smiling in a way that makes me feel faint. I steal another kiss, warmth flooding me at the feeling of his smile against my lips.

“Come on,” he says. He lets go of me and grasps my hand. “Let’s get back and warm up.”

I waggle my eyebrows at that, and Wesley rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling as he pulls me back to the cabin.

*

“Is this okay,” Wesley says as he straddles my hips.

I’m lying on our bed, my shirt and pants ripped off and strewn across the floor, staring up at his impossible height. Goosebumps litter my arms. I’m so pent-up that I think one touch from him will send me tipping over the edge.

“Yeah,” I say, licking my lips. “God, you’re so big. I love it, love the way you look down at me.”

He groans, fingers rubbing at the jutting bones of my hips. “The mouth on you. If you keep that up this will end early.”

Wesley takes his time caressing each part of my body. I barely remember to breathe. He looks gorgeous, all bronze skin and shifting muscles. I let out a high, drawn-out whine When his hands brush against my nipples, squeezing and rubbing them into hard nubs.

Precome dribbles from the tip of my cock, and Wesley gently grips the shaft, swiping his thumb over the head. His eyes capture mine as he lifts the wet digit to his mouth and licks.

“Please, Wes.” I’m not sure what I’m begging for. My head feels cloudy with the sheer desire I feel for this man. “Please.”

“Let me take care of you, Ollie,” he says into the dark. “Let me love like you deserve.”

I feel myself go boneless, my heart swelling as he dips his head and catches me in a searing kiss. Stars explode behind my eyes, and I barely notice when he presses our cocks together and grinds against me.

White-hot pleasure shoots through my body. I let him maneuver me however he wants, loosening my limbs to make it easier for him to part my legs wider and rub a finger over my hole.

I can’t help the whimper that leaves my mouth. “Lube?”

“Stay still.” He kisses the underside of my jaw before pulling away and climbing off the bed.

I hear the rustle of him digging through his bag and shiver, missing his warmth. Finally, he finds what he’s looking for and returns to in-between my legs. I wrap them around his hips and pull him closer.

“What’s that?”

“Aloe vera gel,” he says as he pours the liquid into his hand. “I usually use it for burns and scrapes, but this also works. It’s the best we have.”

I’m not complaining. I want him in me as fast as possible.

He’s gentle as he prepares me with a tenderness that lights me from the inside. When I’m ready, gasping and shivering against his fingers, he kisses me again and pushes himself inside to the hilt.

It feels like fire licking up and down my skin. The only thought in my mind is Wesley, Wesley, Wesley.

I want to make him feel as good as I do, as loved as I do. I feel like I’m bursting with it. A broken moan escapes my mouth and I wrap my arms around his shoulders, spreading my legs wider to give him better access.

A deep, rumbling groan emits from Wesley, vibrating down to my chest, and I want to lock it inside me, to tie us together until we’re inseparable.

“You feel so good,” I say. My voice comes out like a gasp. “Want to feel you everywhere.”

Wesley buries his face in my neck as he thrusts, tender at first, before speeding up until the bed is thumping against the wall and every part of me is alive with electricity. The touch-starved part of me sings with joy at how close my man is. It’s euphoric.

A broad hand wraps around my cock, stroking in time with the thrusts, and I keen against Wesley’s hair. Pleasure coils in my stomach and I let out a sharp cry as it crests to a peak. Wesley coaxes me through my orgasm with smooth, even strokes, and doesn’t stop until I’m shaking against the sheets.

Come splatters his hand, but he doesn’t seem to mind. His fingers are hot against my lips, asking for permission, and without hesitating I let my mouth fall open. I’ve never tasted my own come before. It isn’t bad. A bit salty, but then the taste is gone and I’m licking Wesley’s skin.

He groans again and withdraws his fingers.

“You’re gorgeous,” he says into my ear. “I think I’ve wanted you from the moment I saw you in Callum’s bathroom. But you looked so fed up with everything and I didn’t want to make it worse, so I waited. I’d wait a long time for you.”

I bury my face into the space where his neck meets his shoulder and press a soft kiss to the heart-shaped birthmark there.

“I think I’m in love with you, Wes,” I murmur into his skin.

Wesley comes inside me, shuddering. The feeling of being filled with a part of him makes me hot all over. His arms circle my waist and pull us closer together.

When the high of his orgasm has passed, he tries to pull away, but I press a kiss to the top of his head and hold him tight. His cock, half-hard but slowly softening, shifts inside of me when he moves. I bite back a moan, overwhelmed by the feeling of the ultimate connection. By how right it feels.

Wesley extricates my hands from his shoulders and kisses my fingers as he slides out.

“Sensitive,” he says, and I finally allow us to separate. He collapses on the bed beside me, gripping my bare hips and drawing me to him once more, facing towards each other.

“That was amazing,” I say, wriggling against him happily.

“Don’t stroke my ego too much.” He presses a quick kiss on my forehead. My skin burns where his lips touch. “I might get a big head.”

I slide my hand down his chest, tangling my fingers in the tufts of hair at the base of his cock. “You already do.”

“You’re insatiable. Let me catch my breath before we go again.”

“Okay. Anything for you,” I say. “I want you in all the ways, Wes. Right here, but also when we’re too old and gray to be hiking mountain trails.”

Wesley smiles, the one that crinkles his eyes and makes my heart beat faster.

He takes one of my hands in his and presses a kiss to the palm. “You have no idea how you make me feel, Ollie. I’ll take pleasure in all the ways I get to show you.”

Embarrassingly, my eyes well with tears. “You mean that?”

Large hands grab my face. Wesley’s piercing blue eyes stare into mine, his expression full of the love and adoration I was too scared to see before.

“I do,” he promises, and it feels like a spell locking us in place. “I have so many things I want to say but we can take it slow. I’ll save them for when you’re ready.”

“Okay,” I say against his lips. “We have all the time in the world.”

Maybe getting snowed in with my best friend wasn’t a bad idea, after all.

The End.