Chapter 8

Mateo

The sun cast a warm glow over the city as Rylan and I stood on the sidewalk, our eyes fixed on the penthouse that had become the most important place for us. Or so I thought. The events of the past few hours had shaken me to my core, leaving me questioning everything I thought I knew about Rylan, about us.

It shouldn"t be happening this way. We had so many good memories in there. I couldn"t even imagine ourselves living somewhere else.

"I can"t believe it"s gone," Rylan whispered, his eyes wide, his hand resting protectively on his swollen belly. It reminded me of how fucked up this was. His former friend didn"t give a shit about the baby. "This was our home."

"Was" was the keyword in his phrase. It wasn"t anymore. We couldn"t go up there anymore.

I clenched my jaw, my eyes narrowing as I took in the scene before us. I wished I could do something, but I was powerless.

The penthouse, once a symbol of our freedom and new life together, now stood as a reminder of the consequences of Rylan"s actions. As much as I knew he"d meant well, I couldn"t shake off the thought that this could all be happening differently if he hadn"t been so rash.

"It"s my fault," he continued. "I should"ve told you, Mateo. I should"ve trusted you with the truth." And, he was right. At least, about that, he was 100% right. He should have told me everything from the start.

What happened was that he betrayed his friend and, because of that, he used his influence to take the penthouse away from us. It was petty, but it was what it was. In the end, he just wanted revenge for what Rylan did.

I blamed that asshole, but not as much as I wished I was going to. The thing I hated the most about him was that he didn"t even care about the baby in Rylan"s belly.

It turned out that that guy wasn"t Rylan"s friend after all.

I turned to Rylan, my eyes burning with anger and hurt. "You should"ve," I growled, my voice tight. "But you chose to keep secrets, to betray my trust." I would have done something, anything. It might not have changed the outcome, but it would still have been better than what we were going through.

Rylan flinched, his eyes filling with tears. He stepped back, putting some distance between me and him. He could feel my anger simmering beneath the surface.

"I know," he whispered, his hand coming up to wipe away the tears that escaped. "And I"m sorry. I was afraid, afraid you wouldn"t understand, that you"d leave me." He took a deep breath. "It was just like before. I was so afraid of your reaction."

I took a step back, my hands balling into fists at my sides. "You were right," I said. "I don"t understand, Rylan. How could you do this? How could you put us, our baby, in danger?" I shook my head. "And, it really isn"t like this is the first time. Just like you said, it happened before."

He took a step towards me, his eyes pleading. That was surprising. Did he really think he could change how I felt about it just with his words? I didn"t think it was possible.

"I never meant to put us in danger," he said. "I only wanted to protect what we have, to give our baby a future."

I shook my head, my heart hardening against the man I had once loved. It was still there, kind of, but it wasn"t the same thing anymore. I didn"t think it could ever be the same again. I knew my life would not be complete without him, so I couldn"t exactly give up on him without consequences, but I was still wondering if it was worth pursuing this relationship I had with him. I was pondering if I shouldn"t just give up and leave.

One moment, we had the penthouse and everything was great. I wasn"t even thinking about what he did to get us out of prison and that he"d betrayed his only friend. Then, the next moment, his former friend came here with the police and several lawyers to take it all away from us. It made me feel desperate, just like the day before I joined the cartel.

"You put us all at risk," I said, my voice cold. "And now, we"re left with nothing."

He reached for me, his eyes desperate. "We still have each other," he said softly, his hand brushing my arm. He said that as if it was the thing that most mattered. It wasn"t. "We can start over, find another place, away from all this."

I pulled away, my heart too wounded to accept his touch. I shook my head. How could he think something like that and that it was okay? It wasn"t. "How, Rylan?" I asked, my voice harsh. "With what money? We don"t have anything else and it"s your fault."

He flinched, his eyes filling with fresh tears. It hurt me when I said that, but it had to be said. Otherwise, I wouldn"t have been able to forgive myself. I promised myself that telling the truth was always better than lying, no matter the circumstances.

"I know," he whispered, his voice breaking. "And I"m sorry. I"ll do whatever I can to make it right, Mateo. Please, just give me a chance to make it up to you."

I turned away, unable to bear the sight of his tears, the depth of his betrayal. I ran my hand through my hair. I couldn"t believe he was asking me to give him one more chance. It wasn"t going to be so easy.

"You had your chance," I said, my voice rough. It hurt my heart when I said that, but I couldn"t imagine a different outcome. "And you chose to keep secrets, to lie to me yet again. I can"t trust you, Rylan. Not anymore."

He took a step towards me, his eyes pleading. I knew he was going to make this more difficult than it already was, so I was prepared, not that it was going to help me much.

"Please, Mateo," he whispered. "Don"t do this. Our baby needs us, needs a family. Please, let"s not throw away what we have."

I shook my head, my heart aching as I looked at the man I had once loved, now a stranger to me. My baby was important to me, as was him, but I didn"t know for how much longer I could go on with the way things were.

"You threw it away, Rylan," I said softly. He blinked a few times. He couldn"t believe this turn of events. "The moment you chose to betray my trust yet again, you shattered what we had."

He stood there, his eyes wide, his breath coming in short gasps as he processed the finality of my words. It was over. I still loved him — and because he was my fated mate, I didn"t think it was something that would ever change — but for now, everything was over between us.

"Please, Mateo," he whispered, tears welling up his eyes. "Don"t leave me. I need you."

I turned away, my heart too broken to offer him any comfort. And then, I took a deep breath in. I really wished I could continue to be with him no matter what, but I couldn"t. I wouldn"t feel right doing such a thing.

"You should"ve thought of that before," I said. "I can"t do this, not now. I need time to clear my head, to figure out what the hell we"re going to do."

That was saying the least. There were actually a lot more things for me to do. I had no idea where I would start, but I was going to figure something out.

With that, I walked away, my steps heavy, my heart aching with each step that took me further from Rylan. To be honest, at the moment, I didn"t even know where I was going exactly. Just… away.

I knew I was leaving him vulnerable, alone, but I couldn"t bring myself to stay, to offer him any false hope. Otherwise, the first thing he would think was that there was still a chance for us, but there wasn"t.

Our relationship was fractured, perhaps beyond repair, and I needed time to grieve, to process the depth of his betrayal. Maybe, just maybe, I could forgive him for what he did, but I wasn"t holding my breath for it.

As I made my way through the city streets, my mind raced, trying to make sense of the mess we were in. I knew Rylan had made a deal, but the full extent of it was only now becoming clear. He should have told me everything.

I could remember everything he had told me when shit hit the fan.

"Yes, I did what I did. I sold the information to those people. I had to. It was the only way to get us out of prison."

And I knew he was right, that we couldn"t get out of prison if he hadn"t done that, but he betrayed his friend and the latter couldn"t let it go.

He came for us, for Rylan. He took the penthouse from us as punishment for Rylan"s betrayal. Did he really think his friend would forgive him?

I ended up at a run-down apartment building, a far cry from the luxurious penthouse we had once called home. It wasn"t the best for me, but for now, it was going to do. Plus, I had lived in worse conditions. I hadn"t become soft after living in the penthouse.

It was one of the few places I could think of where we might find temporary shelter, but it was a dangerous place, filled with addicts and criminals.

So, despite my better judgment, I called Rylan to come here. It didn"t mean we were still together. I only invited him to come because of the baby and the fact that they both needed a roof over their heads.

I climbed the stairs, my heart heavy as I imagined bringing our baby into such an environment. I knew it wasn"t a permanent solution, but it was all I could think of at the moment.

I knew that soon I would have a better solution for where we should live, but for now, we were going to have to put up with all the negative things that came with living here.

I knocked on the door of my friend"s apartment, my eyes scanning the hallway, hoping Rylan wasn"t far behind. Despite his pleas, he understood he shouldn"t be too close to me. It wouldn"t be good for both of us.

The door opened, revealing a man with hollow cheeks and bloodshot eyes. He also was someone I didn"t want near my baby, but he was my only solution at the moment.

"Mateo," he said. "What are you doing here?"

He looked like a mess, almost like a drug addict. I knew he had tried to clean himself up, but he hadn"t gotten very far. I couldn"t blame him; most of it wasn"t his fault.

I stepped into the dimly lit apartment, the air thick with the smell of smoke and something else — the sickly sweet scent of drugs. What a terrible place this was. It made my stomach churn.

"I need a place to stay," I said softly, my eyes taking in the squalid conditions. The more I looked around, the more I felt just how much I needed to get out of here as soon as possible. "Just for a few days, until I can figure something out."

That was my hope, anyway, but I had no idea if it was really only going to be a few days. It could end up being more.

My friend nodded, his eyes understanding. "Stay as long as you need," he said. "But be careful, Mateo. This place ain"t no good for a baby."

I nodded, my eyes scanning the room, my heart heavy as I imagined Rylan and our unborn child in such an environment.

My friend didn"t have to do this, but he still was. He had a good heart, no denying it. His only problem was that he was living in this place. Hopefully, it wasn"t going to become my problem as well.

"I know," I whispered, hiding my grief. "But it"s all I"ve got for now."

He understood me, nodding. He actually wished he could do more, but it was impossible. He couldn"t do anything more than this. He was as broke as I was.

As the days turned into weeks, the reality of our situation settled over me like a heavy blanket. Rylan and I kept our distance, our interactions strained and filled with words we didn"t want to say to each other. We knew that if we voiced them, our relationship would be broken beyond repair.

The weight of his betrayal hung between us, a constant reminder of the chasm that now existed where love and trust had once resided. Could it be filled with the last two things again? I had no idea. The more I thought about that, the more impossible it seemed.

One afternoon, as I sat in the dimly lit apartment, my eyes heavy with exhaustion, Rylan approached, his steps tentative. "Mateo," he said softly, his eyes filled with unshed tears. "Please, let"s talk. We can"t keep avoiding each other. Our baby deserves better."

I sighed, my shoulders sagging under the weight of my grief and anger. I really didn"t want to talk about anything, but I knew he was right. Avoiding the problem wasn"t going to make it less tormenting.

"What is there to say, Rylan?" I asked. It was a very good question. What was there to say? I didn"t think there was anything to be said. "You betrayed my trust and put our baby in danger. What more is there to discuss?"

I didn"t think I could have made it simpler than that. It was because of him we were living in this place. It wasn"t good for us and the baby. He knew it was his fault.

Still, it wasn't going to stop Rylan. He took a step forward, his hands reaching for mine. He was going to try to do something, but I didn"t think it was going to work.

"I know," he whispered, his voice shaking. "And I"m sorry. I made a mistake, a terrible one, but please, Mateo, let"s not throw away what we have. Our baby needs us, needs a family."

I pulled my hands away, my heart too wounded to accept his touch. Shaking my head, I couldn"t help but think how wrong he was. The baby needed me and I was going to be there for him, but I wasn"t going to say I forgave Rylan. At the moment, I didn"t think I could say that, and my mind would probably never change about it.

"You threw it all away, Rylan," I said softly. "The moment you chose to betray my trust, you shattered our family."

His eyes widened, his breath catching in his throat as he processed the finality of my words. He knew I was right, which was the reason he was having difficulty finding the right thing to say.

"Please, Mateo," he whispered, his voice breaking. "I don"t know what I can say to change your mind, but please… Try to stay with me for our little one. You don"t need to stay for me."

I stood, my eyes never leaving his, my heart aching as I delivered the final blow. I wished I could stay for our little one, but it wasn"t so simple. The more time I spent near Rylan, the more I hated him and myself.

I knew what I had to say next was going to hurt him a lot, but it still needed to be said. He needed to face the cold reality around us.

"No, Rylan. It really is over between us. No matter what you say, you can"t change my mind. It"s that simple. "

He took a few steps backward, his eyes widening. I knew he wasn"t taking this well, but he shouldn"t be surprised. Time wasn"t going to heal my wounds. He must have thought that, just because we were living together, we were lovers again, but we weren"t.

"No," he whispered. "When are you going to realize that what you"re doing hurts you as much as it hurts me?"

I shook my head again. It felt like everything was repeating itself. I had to get out of here. Rylan and our little one would be okay. I didn"t have to worry; my friend would keep them safe and fed.

With that, I walked away, my steps heavy and my heart aching with each step that took me further from Rylan. This time, I really had no idea where I was going. As long as I was away from the person who betrayed me, I supposed I would be okay.

Still, I had to figure out something, and most importantly, I had to discover how I really felt about us.