Chapter 3

Rylan

The harsh clang of the cell door startled me from my daze, the sound reverberating through the confines of our small space. I was kind of hoping I was going to find out this wasn"t happening, but it was. No denying it. It was happening for real.

I looked up, my heart sinking as I realized it was time for the daily shower ritual. Mateo had warned me about this, the dreaded moment when we were herded like cattle to the communal bathrooms, forced to strip down and endure the mocking gazes of our fellow prisoners.

I thought that everything here was already humiliating enough, but there was this. And, to make everything even worse, it felt like it was only the tip of the iceberg.

With a heavy sigh, I stood up, my eyes darting to Mateo. He sat on his bed, his expression unreadable, but I sensed his awareness of my discomfort. "I"ll be back," I mumbled.

He merely nodded, his eyes fixed on me for a brief moment before returning to the book he was reading. He didn"t care about me. I didn"t know why I even said what I did.

As for the book he was reading, it was the only possession he had, and he seemed to cherish it. I wondered what it was about, but I didn"t dare ask. I feared him so much I couldn"t even bring myself to glance at the cover.

Steeling myself, I followed the other inmates out of the cell, my heart pounding in my chest and my body perspiring. The prison hallway loomed ahead, the concrete walls oppressive and foreboding. It was even worse than my cell.

The guards flanked us on either side, their gazes cold and indifferent to our plight. They looked at us as if we were cockroaches.

As we neared the bathroom, my steps faltered and I felt I was going to fall to the floor. The sounds of laughter and catcalls echoed from within, sending a chill down my spine. I knew what awaited me, and my skin prickled with embarrassment.

I never took a shower with somebody else before, so with this being my first time, I knew it was going to be embarrassing. I knew I was going to feel like killing myself.

The guards ushered us inside, their eyes scanning the room for any signs of dissent. They didn"t care about what we were feeling. They just wanted to do their jobs. If I were one of them, I would also hate it.

The bathroom was a large, open space, the walls lined with showerheads. In the center stood a cluster of inmates, their eyes alight with anticipation as they spotted the new arrival. And, of course, I was talking about me. I was the only one different here.

I felt their gazes on me like a physical touch, their stares assessing, judging. It was as though they could eat me alive just by staring at me.

My skin crawled with goosebumps as I imagined their eyes raking over my body, my form so different from theirs. I was skinny, my frame slight and unassuming, a stark contrast to the muscular, hardened criminals around me.

Even if I closed my eyes and pretended that nothing of this was happening, it wouldn"t work. It was impossible to deny reality.

With a nudge from one of the guards, I stepped forward, my heart hammering in my chest. I had spent too much time frozen in the same place. The guard had grown tired of it.

I knew the routine. We were to strip down, shower, and change into clean prison garb. A humiliating process, designed to strip away any sense of dignity we had left.

Even though this was my first time doing it, I knew the process. It was far from a secret.

My fingers fumbled as I tried to remove my jumpsuit, my hands trembling. I could feel their eyes on me, taking in my every move. I wanted to shrink into myself, to disappear from their leering gazes.

They were watching me and making sure they didn"t miss a single thing about me. It felt like they wanted to do more than just look at me. I was trying everything so they didn"t beat me up. It seemed that wasn"t going to work.

"Well, well, what do we have here?" A deep voice, mocking me, cut through the room. I recognized it as belonging to Vance, one of the more formidable inmates. Mateo had kind of told me about him, so I knew who he was. I wished I didn"t, but in this environment, it was better to know everybody, even though most of them were nasty.

He stood at the forefront of the group, his arms crossed over his broad chest. "Looks like we got ourselves a little omega."

And, of course, just by looking at me, they knew I was an omega.

Laughter erupted from the group, their eyes gleaming with cruel amusement. I bit my lip, my cheeks burning with shame. I wanted to run, to hide, but there was nowhere to go. I also wanted to punch all of them until they were not breathing anymore, but I knew I couldn"t do that.

With shaking fingers, I finished undoing the buttons and let the jumpsuit slide from my shoulders. It was relieving, to say the least.

I stood there, my body bare, feeling utterly exposed. I hunched my shoulders, trying to cover myself, but it was futile. There wasn"t anything I could do. I was exposed and they could look at every part of me.

The thought of doing this every day made me feel like killing myself.

Their gazes devoured me, their eyes taking in every inch of my form. I knew I was different, but they had no right to be staring so much at me. They couldn"t touch me. The guards were looking at what was happening. The inmates wouldn"t try something so stupid.

"Look at those ribs, boys. I bet he ain"t eaten a decent meal in his life!" Vance"s voice boomed, and the laughter grew louder. I felt my face flush, my eyes stinging with the threat of tears.

They didn"t know anything about me. I was rich before coming here. I was accustomed to the best food possible in the world.

"Leave him be." The deep, gravelly voice of Mateo cut through the room, a surprising reprieve from the torment. Wait, what? What was he doing here? He wasn"t supposed to be in the shower room. At least, going by what he told me, he wasn"t going to shower today.

I glanced over to see him standing at the entrance, his eyes fixed on Vance with a warning glare. A fight could erupt between the two despite the guards being here.

Vance smirked, his eyes narrowing. "Looks like someone"s taken a shine to the new boy. You sure you wanna protect him, Solstice? He don"t look like he can take much." His words were laced with innuendo, suggesting something more between Mateo and me. I wondered what it was, but couldn"t say anything about it.

I wasn"t going to draw more attention to myself than I already was.

Mateo"s jaw clenched, his eyes flashing with a dangerous light. "Back off, Vance. He"s off-limits." There was an underlying threat in his tone, one that the other inmates seemed to recognize. Vance may have been a force to be reckoned with, but Mateo held his own brand of power.

What was more surprising about this was that Mateo was defending me. I thought he didn"t care about me, so why was he doing this? It didn"t make any sense. We weren"t fated mates. If we were, I would have already started to feel something strong for him. I didn"t.

With a dismissive snort, Vance turned his attention back to me. Of course he wanted to say something else to me. I became his most recent obsession and he couldn"t stop thinking about me.

"Have it your way, Solstice. But the rest of us sure as hell ain"t gonna hold back." He signaled to the others, and they closed in, their eyes gleaming with malicious intent.

The guards had to do something! Otherwise, there really was going to be a fight and somebody could die. They might even kill me.

I took an instinctive step back, my heart pounding. I was trapped, surrounded by a circle of inmates, their faces twisted with cruel smiles. I didn"t have anywhere to run.

I felt their hands reach for me, rough and calloused, grabbing at my arms, my shoulders. What the fuck? What were they doing? This wasn"t allowed. It shouldn"t be happening.

"Let"s see what we got here, boys." Vance"s hand snaked out, his fingers gripping my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze. His eyes bored into mine, cold and calculating. "A pretty little omega, all for us to play with."

Somebody had to do something. Either Mateo or the guards. At the moment, it felt more like Mateo was the one who was going to save me. The guards didn"t appear to be interested in doing their job.

I tried to pull away, but their hands held me firm. I felt their fingers trailing over my skin, their touches unwanted, invasive. They touched every part of me they could. It was an abhorrent experience. It made my skin crawl.

My breath quickened, my heart racing as panic gripped me. I wanted to shout, to plead for them to stop, but my voice failed me. I was used to speaking so much in front of several audiences, and yet, here I was, incapable of pronouncing a single word

Rough hands pushed me forward, toward the showerheads. They knew what they wanted to do. They wanted to keep using me and touching me. They were going to make this experience even worse than it was already going to be.

The spray of water hit my skin, soaking me instantly. I sputtered, my eyes stinging from the onslaught. It was cold, oh so cold. It was horrible. I wanted to be anywhere but here.

I wanted to cover myself, to hide my nakedness, but their hands held me firm, on display for their amusement. And even though only a few seconds passed since this started, it felt more like it was an eternity.

Laughter filled the room, their voices echoing off the walls. I felt even more vulnerable, exposed, as their eyes devoured me, their touches violating my personal space. Their hands roamed, their fingers gripping, pinching, their laughter ringing in my ears.

"That"s enough!" Mateo"s voice boomed, cutting through the room once more. I felt his presence behind me, his aura commanding attention.

Relief washed over me. Finally, someone was doing something. I wished somebody was recording this so I could show everyone outside of here what was happening. The guards couldn"t leave this place unpunished.

The hands fell away as the inmates turned to face him, their faces twisted with annoyance at the interruption. Annoyance was the only thing they were feeling. They couldn"t care less about any possible repercussions. They knew there was going to be none.

Vance scowled, his eyes narrowing. "This ain"t your business, Solstice. Back off."

Mateo advanced, his tall frame filling the space. Out of all the people who could protect me in a similar situation, he was at the bottom of the list. Again, I couldn"t help but reaffirm he didn"t care about me at all.

"I made it my business," he growled. "Now back the hell off." There was an underlying threat in his tone, one that Vance seemed to recognize.

Was it going to be enough? The next seconds were going to be very defining.

With a snarl, Vance stepped forward, his fists clenched. "You asking for a fight, Solstice? "Cause I"m happy to oblige."

My heart raced. The last thing I wanted was a fight. I didn"t want anybody to fight because of me. And worse, it felt like the guards were just waiting for the fight to break out. Then, they would intervene and come out of it looking like heroes.

Mateo stood his ground, his eyes hard as stone. "Try me," he challenged. I liked his attitude. He was the kind of person who didn"t take shit from anybody.

For a moment, the two alpha wolves faced off, their stares intense, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife. Anything could happen here. Really, anything.

Then, Vance smirked, his eyes flicking to me. "Another time, Solstice. For now, we"ll let the pretty boy go."

I scowled slightly. I hated it when people called me "boy." I was an adult now and should be treated as such.

With that, they stepped back, their hands falling away. I stood there, shaking, the spray of water washing away the remnants of their touches. And yet, I knew that, no matter how much I stayed here, it wouldn"t be enough to wash away how it felt when their hands were touching me.

I wanted to collapse, to curl up and hide from their cruel gazes. I wanted to yank myself out of my body. Maybe, if I could do that, I could have some peace and not hate myself so much.

Mateo stepped forward, his eyes fixed on me. "You okay?" He asked, his tone softer than I"d ever heard it. I didn"t know he could sound so gentle, especially towards me.

I nodded, unable to speak, my throat tight with unshed tears. I wanted to thank him, to express my gratitude for his intervention, but the words stuck in my throat.

There was just too much going on between us. I didn"t feel comfortable enough around him. I didn"t know if feeling such a thing was even possible. Given what I knew, it probably wasn"t.

Without another word, Mateo turned and strode from the room, his departure leaving an eerie silence in his wake. After all, it seemed he didn"t come here to take a shower. He might have been passing by and noticed what was happening. That was when he decided to help me. I chuckled slightly. It was more like he saved me. If it weren"t for him, I probably wouldn"t be alive.

The other inmates exchanged glances, their earlier amusement gone, replaced by a sense of unease. Tension escalated when Mateo was here. The resolution could have ended much worse than the way it did. We all knew that.

I stood there, alone, the spray of water the only sound in the room. The shower was supposed to be helping me through this, but it wasn"t doing much. It was like it didn"t exist.

I wanted to melt into the shadows, to escape the memories of what had just transpired. And yet, no matter how much I tried, I couldn"t do that.

I felt dirty, violated, my skin crawling with the memory of their touches. I wanted to rip my skin off my body and burn it.

With shaking fingers, I reached for the soap, my hands scrubbing at my skin, trying to erase the feeling of their hands on me. At the same time, I couldn"t stop asking myself what the point of doing this even was.

I wanted to wash away the shame, the humiliation, but I knew it would linger, a constant reminder of my place in this hellish prison.

Everything had taken a turn for the worse. Each encounter with Vance would now be tainted by what happened, and the likelihood of a repeat, particularly in Mateo"s absence, was high.

As I finished showering, the other inmates kept their distance, their earlier bravado gone. I sensed their wariness, their respect for Mateo"s warning. As much as I didn"t want it to be true, I was his protégé. Even if he didn"t protect me ever again, everyone would remember what just happened and would immediately think twice before approaching me.

I hated all of them, Mateo included. I didn"t think there was a single person in this prison I didn"t hate. I even hated myself for not being stronger.

I dressed in the clean prison garb provided, my movements mechanical, my mind elsewhere. My only relief was that the shower was over and I wasn"t naked anymore. Still, coming here to take a shower was something that would have to happen every day for the next years. I"d better get used to it.

I felt numb, my emotions a tangled mess. Other than hatred and pain, I couldn"t feel anything else. I couldn"t even feel my own body.

I wanted to cry, to release the torrent of feelings swirling within me, but I bit my lip, holding it in. I knew better than to show even more weakness than I had already shown. The more weakness I showed, the more those people would abuse me.

As I left the bathroom, my eyes darted around, half-expecting to see Mateo, but he was nowhere to be found. As much as I didn"t want to admit it, he was the only one who could keep me safe. He showed he cared about me, even if only slightly, so it was better than what the other inmates thought about me.

A part of me wanted to seek him out, to offer my thanks, but another part of me knew better. Plus, it wasn"t like he did what he did to be thanked. He didn"t expect that from anybody.

Gratitude was a complicated emotion in a place like this, and I wasn"t ready to face whatever lay between us. And it was always going to be like that. The only thing we knew for certain here and were accustomed to was our mutual hatred.

With heavy steps, I returned to the cell, my heart heavy. I knew I should be grateful for Mateo"s intervention, but instead, I felt confused, my emotions a tangled mess. Could I ever feel different about what happened? Was that even possible? I had no idea.

Why had he helped me? What did he want from me? So many questions and no answer. I knew it was going to remain like that for a long time at least, if not forever.

As I entered the cell, I found Mateo sitting on his bed, his eyes fixed on me. I couldn"t help but wonder what he was thinking, but his face was unreadable.

I halted, my breath catching in my throat. His gaze was intense. It felt as though his eyes could see my soul.

"You okay?" He asked, his voice low. And, somehow, his question was more surprising than his helping me in the shower room.

I nodded, unable to speak, the events of the shower still fresh in my mind. Nodding was the best thing I could do. I wished I could do something else, but I couldn"t. I felt like I wasn"t really in my own body.

He studied me for a moment longer, then returned his attention to his book, his signal that the conversation was over. As with many things he did, he didn"t have to say anything. His behavior was more than enough.

I stood there, unsure of what to say or do. Maybe there was nothing to be said. Maybe remaining silent was the best thing I could do.

I wanted to express my gratitude, but the words stuck in my throat. Maybe one day I would be brave enough to do that, but that day was not today.

With a heavy sigh, I turned away, my heart heavy. I knew I owed him, but I didn"t know how to repay him. Plus, I didn"t know if he even expected to be repaid. Maybe he didn"t. Or maybe he did and would tell me what he wanted me to do for him.

The dynamics of our "relationship" (could it even be called that?) were complicated, and I felt ill-equipped to navigate them.