Chapter 20

Iwant to be torn down and rebuilt by him, and as he hovers above me, his thickness waits at my entrance.

“I love you, Rem, but I’m gonna fuck you like I hate you,” he says, his voice a rasp as he barely gives me the tip.

“Do it,” I say, digging my heels into his ass, forcing him inside of me.

I want it all.

I want him to plunge so deep inside of me he breaks me into two halves and then glues me back together again. He's already destroyed me once, imprinted himself on my body and soul, and I’m okay with him doing it again as long as we can have this very moment.

“God, yes,” I whisper as he glides inside my slick walls. The pressure and heat of him spread through me. His strong hand is on my hip, creating more friction as he slams into me. It’s deep and dangerous as his cock plummets inside of me, shattering me from the inside out.

I see stars as I whimper with each magnified thrust, each deep pump a promise that he’ll never fucking let me go. I hope he doesn’t.

My back arches, and I drown in the sensation of him, but he's always pulled me under. Cash is a dangerous rip current, and I’ll sink to the bottom with him.

“That’s all you’ve got?” I growl out, wanting to be sore, wanting to feel how he wrecked me tomorrow.

A grunt releases from him as he pounds deeper. The pleasure grows so intense that heat and emotions swarm through. My core tightens. The impending orgasm has me in a choke hold, and I don’t know how much longer I can hold on. As I teeter on edge, I feel as if I”ve transcended with his mouth and teeth and breath on my neck and my shoulder and my breasts. His mouth memorizes me, and I never want him to forget.

“You feel so fucking good,” he says, knowing I’m close. “So. Fucking. Good.”

I capture his mouth, his movements slow, as he brushes strands of hair from my face.

“Rem. I love you,” he whispers into the moonlight, sounding more like a plea than an admission. It’s desperate and fierce, causing my heart to flutter away when he repeats it across my lips.

With my fingers threaded through his hair, I say it back. “I love you. I love you so much,” I say just as I spill over, my body nearly collapsing as the orgasm takes me under. I clench around his thick cock in thick hard pulses that have my body almost flying off the mattress.

It’s euphoric and mind-numbing as the sensation of finding love and being loved overtakes me. His movements grow more ragged, and he escapes with me, emptying every drop deep into my core. The sensation is overwhelming and intense, and tears drip from my eyes. It’s raw happiness knowing the man I”ve secretly loved is mine.

“Rem,” Cash says, kissing away my tears, looking at me with sad eyes. We”re still connected. The warmth of him pools inside of me. “Valentine?”

I smile, cupping his cheeks as I lift my mouth upward. “I have you, and I finally know that.”

“You”ve always had me,” he confirms. “And always fucking will.”

* * *

The following day,I roll over to Cash, who is lying next to me. I wrap my arms around his body, kissing his muscular back. He turns toward me, smiling, with sleepy eyes, giving me that dimple I love.

“Good morning, gorgeous,” he mutters against my lips.

“Morning,” I say.

“Did you survive your twenty-eighth birthday?” he asks with a chuckle.

I squeeze my legs together. “Barely. I think you”ve carved yourself inside of me.”

“That happened a long time ago.”

A deep voice responds to a high-pitched one, and I glance outside, trying to figure out what time it is by where the sun is in the sky. It must be check-out time.

“I want to tell Lexi congrats before she leaves,” I say, laughing, rolling out of bed. As soon as my feet are on the floor, I stop mid-stride. “Shit.”

I glance over my shoulder at Cash, and he looks at me with his bedroom eyes. “Mission accomplished?”

“I feel you in places I didn’t know were possible,” I say, leaning over the bed to steal a kiss. His large hand is on my ass, and I moan into his mouth.

“Hurry back to me,” he says, nibbling and sucking on my bottom lip.

“I will,” I say, glancing down at the blanket. His cock makes it look like a circus tent. “Keep that up for me.”

Cash slides his hand under the blanket and strokes himself slowly. “Oh, I will.”

“Shit, I want to stay so bad.”

“Go,” he tells me, patting my ass. I hurry and wiggle into the clothes I wore to my party and quickly empty my bladder.

The stairs squeak, and I rush to the top of the banister, hoping I don’t miss them.

Lexi looks up at me with wide eyes. “Hi, what are you …”

I smile and move down the stairs toward her. “I heard the news. And on my birthday. I’ll never forget the day. I’m so happy for you.”

My friend holds out her hand, and the pink diamond engagement ring sparkles bright in the sunlight. Pink is her favorite color, too. I guess Easton thought of everything.

“It’s perfectly you, Lexi,” I say. It’s the truth. That’s all I have to offer these days.

“Thank you.” She can’t stop grinning. Hell, I wouldn’t either.

I haven’t.I immediately think about Cash. We have the same age difference, and no one has batted an eye at them.

Easton tucks his hands into his pockets, and I glance at him. I’ll forever be grateful for him giving us a room in the BB to escape into. It was the little nudge we needed to cross the line.

“You two are fire,” I say.

“I played matchmaker,” Weston interrupts us like I was speaking to him. “Kinda made this whole thing happen.”

He’s too cocky.

Brody rolls his eyes. “No, you didn’t.”

“Why are you working the day after your birthday?” Lexi asks with a smile.

I lift a brow. “I’m not.”

She glances over my shoulder. “Are you alone?”

Last night, she saw Cash and me with her own eyes. By the expression on her face, she knows who”s upstairs waiting for me. I imagine him naked between the sheets, and I grow hot thinking about it. I hope my face isn’t red.

Weston laughs, and before he can comment, considering he saw me arrive with Cash last night, I turn to him. “Shut up.”

“Feisty little Texas girls,” Weston says, but he keeps my secrets as he lifts the leather duffel over his shoulder.

Brody does the same, and they make their way toward the door.

“Don’t be a stranger, either of you,” I tell Easton and Lexi, and then I glance at Weston. “But that one can stay in New York.”

He laughs as he grabs the knob to the front door. “Oh, come on. I didn’t give you that hard of a time.”

“Worse than my brothers,” I say.

“Damn,” Lexi quips, glancing at her man. “That’s pretty bad.”

Easton looks at Lexi like she's his whole world. It’s what movie magic moments are made from, something Grace is obsessed with. But I get it now. I recognize the spark, but with them, it’s an inferno.

My friend and I hold a silent conversation—the secrets we could share. One day, I hope to tell her everything.

Easton speaks up. “We should leave if we’re going to make dinner tonight.”

I follow them to the front of the house, and Easton holds out his hand to give me a handshake. I pull him into a hug. I like him a lot, and I can tell he has a kind heart.

“I’m sure it’s known, but if you hurt my friend, I will chop off your balls.”

“Great,” he says, his crystal blue eyes meeting mine. “Her other friend has my cock. So, you two can have a party.”

“It was Carlee,” Lexi confirms.

“I knew I liked her.” I nod, knowing it’s one of Lexi”s old college friends. Carlee is good company and also grew up in Merryville, a Christmas town a few hours from Valentine.

“I’ll see you soon,” Lexi offers, and I pull her into a hug.

“He’s mad about you,” I whisper, wanting her to know I see it. Her past relationship messed her up, but it was clear Beau wasn’t into her. With Easton, it’s different. It’s the real deal.

Their driver loads their suitcases, and they climb inside the SUV. And just like that, the Calloway entourage disappears into the distance.

I move inside the BB, and the house is silent as I glance at the stairs. With a smile, I climb them and walk into the executive suite. The shower runs, and I push open the door to study Cash standing under the steamy stream.

“Join me,” he says, and I shut the bathroom door and lock it. It’s an immediate yes.

I strip out of my clothes and step in behind him. He turns around, his strong hands on my shoulders, massaging my sore muscles. Being with him like that last night was a full-body workout, but I fucked him in ways unimaginable, in positions I never thought were possible, on the bed, the floor, the desk, against the wall, and even the chair.

He gave me twenty-eight orgasms, with one to grow on. I’m already looking forward to my next birthday.

The hot stream washes over me, and his mouth magnetizes to mine. His soapy hands memorize the shape of my body. With light fingertips, he trails between my breasts, down my stomach, and then over my sensitive bud.

I let out a gasp, and Cash smirks, knowing I’m putty in his goddamn hands. This man can mold me however he likes.

“Remi?” I hear a deep voice ask on the other side of the door.

“Shit,” I whisper, then clear my throat. “Yeah?”

Footsteps slide across the floor, and I immediately know who it is. So does Cash.

“Are you okay?”

My pussy clamps around Cash”s finger when he dives inside of me.

“Yes,” I state, shuttering.

“Did you stay here last night?” Beckett asks. I can imagine him looking around the room, seeing the half-empty whiskey bottle on the desk, my birthday crown on the nightstands, and a bed with crumpled blankets.

Cash”s brows raise as he tweaks one of my nipples.

“Yeah, Easton gave me a room, so I didn’t have to go far after the party. Just showering. I’ll be done soon,” I say as Cash”s finger slides between my wet folds.

“Hmm. Have you seen Cash?”

He smirks at me, waiting for me to speak—my forbidden love.

“Nope,” I mutter, meeting his hazel eyes.

Cash mouths fuckingliar.

“Hmm. His truck is at the clinic, but he's nowhere to be found,” Beckett says. “I checked the property.”

“I don’t know. Maybe he went home with someone.” Cash gives me two digits, moving his fingers slowly in, giving it to me deep. I grab onto his shoulders, steadying myself.

Beckett laughs. “Pfft.”

“I went home with his little sister,” he mutters in my ear.

His hot mouth is on me and he rolls circles on my clit. My eyes slam shut, and Cash covers my mouth with his hand just as I’m about to moan out.

“Shh. Shh,” he says softly, humming against my neck. “Don’t want him to know my fingers are buried inside of you.”

With my back pressed against the shower wall, I give him full access to me. My body buzzes with anticipation. I race to the end, riding against his fingers, needing to come so damn bad nothing in the world matters. Just us, just him, just this moment.

“Have you noticed him acting strange lately?” Beckett asks.

I almost forgot he was fucking there. Go away, I want to scream.

I want to cry out with pleasure as Cash works my pussy so fucking good my knees nearly buckle.

“Remi?”

“He's always like that,” I hurry and say. It takes every ounce of strength I have to keep my voice steady.

“Only when it comes to you,” Cash whispers, capturing my nipple between his teeth and twirling it with his tongue as I thread my fingers through his damp hair. Knowing we could get caught has me so horny I’m about to explode.

“Hope you had a wonderful birthday,” Beckett says.

“The best,” I mutter as Cash touches my neck with soft fingertips, kissing my jaw. My mouth falls open, and he wraps his arm around me, holding me up as every muscle in my body tenses. He knows I’m teetering on edge and pumps his big fingers inside of me as he works my clit until my body crumbles and convulses. I sink my teeth into his shoulder, biting down, riding my release out on his fingers.

I can barely think. I can barely stand. No sound releasing from my throat is a miracle.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” My brother”s voice lowers. Is this my chance to be honest?

“Yeah,” I say, with my head resting against Cash”s shoulder. He holds me tight under the stream with his hand on my back, embracing me. “I’m in love,” I whisper, but not loud enough for my brother to hear. Guilt and intense pleasure flood over me.

Beckett’s cell phone rings. “Shit. I gotta go. It’s Summer. Anyway, if you see Cash, tell him to text me.”

“Okay,” I say as footsteps move across the wooden floor.

A minute passes, and I pull away from Cash, meeting his sparkling eyes.

“My brother wants you to text him.”

“You’re a bad fucking girl,” he mumbles, tugging on my lip with his teeth. He tilts my chin upright. “You’re addicted to the thrill of getting caught.”

“Yes, but I’m more addicted to you.” I’m still trying to return to planet Earth. My breasts rise and fall with every ragged inhale. I grab his cock, gliding up and down him, admiring his thick vein.

“You can’t keep lying, Rem,” he says, his tone serious.

“I know,” I whisper, dropping to my knees. The stream splashes against my back as I cup his balls, tapping him against my tongue.

Cash clutches my hair. “If he knew I’m about to shove my cock to the back of your throat, he’d bust the door down.”

“Am I worth it?” I grab his thigh, taking him in my greedy mouth.

“Fuck yes.”

* * *

Cashand I leave the BB separately, playing it safe.

I give Cash a head start just in case Beckett is still wandering around the property. I think he's gone, though, because the barn looks desolate, and I don’t hear music playing.

With my arms crossed, I watch Cash turn down the trail that leads along the property line to the clinic. I go upstairs and check the room one last time. My birthday crown is on the nightstand, and I grab it. I’ll never look at this space the same way, not as I glance around, and replay all the places we were.

I strip the bed now, not wanting to leave any evidence behind, but I do the same for the rooms that Weston, Brody, and Easton stayed in. I’ll have a head start for my shift tomorrow. Maybe Summer and I can leave early.

I carry everything downstairs to the laundry room, stuff the commercial-size washer full of sheets and blankets, and then start a load.

I sit on the metal table we use for folding and replay the entire weekend. The minute the clock struck midnight on my birthday, and Cash walked through the doors of the BB, my world turned upside down in the very best way possible.

A smile sweeps across my lips as I lose myself in my thoughts, and then I text Cash, something I don’t do often. It was too dangerous before, but that’s changing.

Remi

Hi. Do you have plans for the Fourth of July?

Cash

Not yet.

Remi

Want to be my date for the celebration?

He doesn’t immediatelytext back.

Five minutes pass, and I second-guess myself.

Remi

If you don’t want to, please don’t feel pressured.

Cash

I’ll be beside you wearing fucking bells, Rem. My answer is always yes when it involves being your date. Never doubt that. Sorry, I was chatting with Beckett.

I chewon my bottom lip and cross my legs, feeling exactly where he's been.

Remi

It’s a date then :)

Cash

It is. I miss you already. Hurry up.

Remi

Thirty minutes max.

Cash

Too damn long.

Once the sheetsand blankets are finished, I throw them in the dryer. The pink bag with the naughty book is in the back seat of my car. Instead of going straight home to Cash, I drive to my parents” house. My little sister”s car is gone, so only my folks are inside.

Vera works at the local nursery, which is the only reason the BB has live flowers. Summer has a brown thumb and kills plants for a living.

I park behind my dad’s truck and step onto the porch, saying a little prayer. I usually call or text to give a heads-up because I walked in on them once and never want to see that again.

When the door swings open, I’m relieved to see my mom on the couch crocheting with a lamp on while Dad watches some space-action movie on TV in his recliner. His feet are kicked up in the recliner, and his white socks poke out from his jeans.

“Pleasant surprise. How was your party?” Mom says.

“Great,” I say, sitting in the chair across from them.

“I have to tell you both something,” I say, knowing this is where I have to start.

“Are you pregnant?” My mother asks.

“What? No,” I say, needing to tell them, wanting to claim him. “I’m dating Cash.”

Dad doesn’t take his eyes off the TV. “We know.”

“What?”

“Are you hungover?” Mom laughs. “He visits us more than you do.”

“What?” My voice raises an entire octave.

“We”ve been having coffee once a week since he came back in January,” Dad says, crisscrossing his ankles in his recliner.

My eyes widen as I glance between them, and then I laugh. “You’re joking.”

Dad grabs the remote and pauses the TV, then flicks on the light. He gives me a dirty look. The screen is stopped on a battle scene in space. “No.”

I try to find my words. “Okay, so Cash visits y”all weekly. What do you talk about?”

Mom drops her crocheting needles into her lap. “It’s private. I won’t lose my adopted son’s trust because you’re curious. If you want to know, you can ask him.”

Dad points at Mom. “What she said.”

“So, you’re cool with this?” I ask, and it seems too easy.

Mom smiles. “Honey, we”re cool with it. Cash is a wonderful young man. He's smart. Kind. Empathetic. But we want you to be happy.”

I swallow hard and tuck my lips into my mouth. For years, I”d imagined this conversation going a hundred different ways, but the scenario never played out.

Maybe I’m the problem.

This is my goddamn wake-up call.

With my parents on board, Beckett cannot do or say shit.

My father”s voice pulls me from my thoughts. “How do you feel about him?”

“I love him with all my heart,” I say.

His expression softens, and he smiles. “I knew it. Don’t break his heart, Remington. That’s an order.”

When he uses my full name, he’s as serious as a rattlesnake. “Why would I be the one doing the heartbreaking?”

Mom narrows her eyes at me. “Because you’re the only one who”s hiding things.”

“Beck—”

Dad holds up his hand. “Don’t worry about him. This is about you.”

“But—”

“Remington,” Dad warns. “I won’t listen to it. You’re twenty-eight years old now, so it’s time to act like an adult.”

Mom clears her throat and grabs my attention. “Sweetie, are you joining us in the town square for the Fourth of July celebration?”

“I planned on it. Heard Emmett was smoking some brisket.”

“He is. You should invite Cash to join us,” she says with a smile.

“I already did,” I say.

“Perfect.” Mom has the look in her eye that Kinsley gets when she's scheming something. It’s a Valentine thing that I will not mess with.

“We’ll be there,” I confirm. “Please don’t make it weird.”

“Sweetie, the only one who”s being weird about this is you,” she says when I hug her goodbye.

“You tried to hook me up with some other dude,” I say, remembering what happened at Beckett’s baby announcement party.

Mom grins. “I was testing you.”

I shake my head. “That’s so evil.”

“Sometimes baby birds have to be pushed from nests to see if they will fly, honey. It was just a nudge, and well, it worked, didn’t it?” She smirks.

I glance at Dad, and he shrugs. “Love you, Remi. But I really want to get back to my movie.”

“Fine,” I say.

“Good talk,” Dad says. “Tell Cash I said hey.”

“This is weird,” I mutter as I walk toward the door, as the TV is unmuted. “Love y”all.”

“Love you! Don’t be late on the Fourth.”

“I won’t,” I say, giving her a wave and closing the door behind me.

I stand on the porch with my hands on my head, staring at the fluffy clouds floating across the blue sky.

Cash has always been traditional to his core, so I shouldn’t be shocked. This man has known what he's wanted since he returned, and I”ve been the only one hesitating. I laugh, bringing my hands to my hips.

Maybe this will work out after all.