Chapter 11

It’s been twenty-six days since Remi and I moved in together. I’ve passed her on the way to work as she’s headed home. She’s blown me kisses each time. I can’t believe how our shifts are exactly at the wrong times. All month, I’ve had emergency calls on the weekends, and somehow, I’ve missed her in the afternoons, too. It’s almost comical how it has worked out because whenever we’ve thought we’d see one another, she has to stay over, or I’m out of the office.

However, knowing I’m in her space, even when she’s not there, brings a smile to my face. After the first week of missing one another, we poured more of our hearts and souls into the notebook we pass back and forth each day. It was awkward at first, but it quickly became our confession. It’s how we’ve asked the hard questions. A spiral notebook is our safe place where we share our deepest secrets.

Sitting at the two-person breakfast nook with a freshly brewed cup of coffee, I open the five-subject spiral college-lined notebook. This has made the days pass quicker and has given me something to look forward to when I’m missing her. Somehow, we’re closer than ever.

Each morning when I wake up alone, I know her beautiful mind awaits me since we write them before we leave for the day.

I pick up the pen and scribble away, knowing she’ll read this in an hour when she comes home. If I didn’t live and die by my schedule, I’d wait for her, but unfortunately, I can’t skip my appointments. She wouldn’t want me to, anyway.

My Valentine,

I woke up this morning with you on my mind. There’s nothing new about that, though.

Last night, I dreamed you left the BB and crawled into bed with me.

I must’ve been exhausted because I could’ve sworn you were home until I rolled over and you weren’t there.

The bed was cold, too. I laid awake for an hour before I fell back asleep, contemplating if I should’ve driven to the BB to see you.

However, I didn’t want to ruin the plan.

Eyes wander out in the middle of nowhere, too, especially when Summer has cameras everywhere outside of the property and in the common areas.

Anyway, I miss you so damn much, and I can’t wait until this weekend when I get to see you finally.

Yesterday, I asked what you wanted for your birthday, and you never answered.

So, I have two questions for you today:

1. What do you want for your birthday?

2. What’s your favorite memory of us?

Now, to answer yours.

You asked what was on my mind the first time I saw you in that coffee shop seven summers ago.

I flickthe pen between my fingers, thinking back to the memory with a smile.

Sometimes, there are moments in our lives that are so monumental it’s impossible to forget the minute details.

I noticed you as soon as you walked in.

What I remember the most was how your hair was down, and it looked windblown like you’d driven with the windows down.

Familiarity crept in, and at first glance, I thought you were Kinsley. I’d been away for too long to realize who you were. I was preparing to get my balls busted because that’s just how Kinsley is.

After you ordered and noticed me sitting at my favorite table in the corner, my life changed.

With one dirty look, I was caught: hook, line, and sinker.

I don’t know what I expected when I sat with you, but it wasn’t to give you my number or have you text me. You started something I wasn’t prepared for.

You may have always had your eye on me and fallen first... but I fell harder.

As I mentioned several times before, falling in love is the easy part. Keeping it is when it gets complicated.

This time, I won’t let you go unless you want me to. I guess that would be a discussion for September 1st.

However, know that I’m a workhorse, babe. I was married to my job, devoted, and forever faithful.

If you choose me, you’ll be my new career. I want more time with you. It’s the one thing we can never buy more of.

Time is fucking precious, and the older I get, the more I realize that. The truth is, I don’t want to waste another minute. When you know, you know.

There are days when I still regret going to Houston, but lately, I’ve tried to flip the script. Leaving made me realize what we had, and this time, I’m determined to keep it.

Just like you mentioned, I worry about Harrison and Beckett. I respect them and don’t want to lose my brothers. But if I’m forced to choose you’re my choice.

I’ve always known that. Do you?

There are only four more working days until your birthday, and then we’ll finally be on the same schedule.

I’m marking days off on my calendar at work like I’m being released from prison.

Not seeing or talking to you until your birthday is hell, but I know a light is at the end of the tunnel. Somehow, it’s always you who keeps me going.

I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep my eyes off you at your party—not that you care, because I think you enjoy knowing you’re the end game.

But maybe you can clear that up for me? Do you notice how I look at you?

Would that be considered another question?

Even though you’re not here, the ghost of you is, and it always haunts me. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to get enough of you, Rem.

Your heart. Your mind. Your soul. I love everything about you.

Saturday can’t get here fast enough.

I look forward to reading your reply when I get home today. Sweet dreams and early Happy Birthday.

$

I topmy to-go coffee and then drive to work. I check the time, knowing it’s another day when we won’t cross paths. When she gets off today, I’ll be in the Davis Mountain area because I have a barn call this afternoon.

It will be worth the wait.

The morning sun rises above the horizon, and fog floats over the country road as I drive to the clinic. Dew droplets coat the ground, and I can tell it will be a hot day. June in this area is always hot, but I prefer it because it’s dry heat instead of sticky heat, like in Houston.

When I arrive at the clinic, I walk inside and turn on the lights. A stack of files waits for me on my desk for the appointments I have scheduled today. Three horses need their teeth floated over at the Granger ranch. Two others need their yearly shots. Mr. Armstrong wants to know if his mare is ready for breeding. It’s going to be a long as fuck day, but at least I’ll be busy.

As I sip my coffee, the clinic door opens, and I glance at the clock on my wall. It’s barely past seven. Moments later, I hear heavy footsteps clunking down the hallway. Then Beckett is standing in my doorway, holding a box of donuts.

“Hungry?” he asks.

“I knew it was you based on your cadence.” I laugh. “Actually, I am. I was gonna make some toast or some shit before I left for the day,” I tell him.

He sits, plopping the box down onto my desk. Sticky, fat donuts are stuffed in the box, and they smell like sugar and sin. I snag one. “Shit, they’re still warm.”

“Yeah, Sadie hooked me up,” Beckett says, grabbing one.

Sadie owns the bakery in town, and she’s married to an ex-bullriding champ.

“So, how’s things been going lately?” Beckett asks.

“Fine,” I tell him. “Been working my ass off non-stop this month. However, I’m happy to be home,” I admit. “Grateful, actually.”

He nods. “Yeah, I noticed you’re out on calls a lot. Stopped by the other day to see if you wanted to join me for lunch, but you were already gone.”

“Shoulda texted me.”

“I spoke with Melody, and she said you were in Alpine.”

“Oh, yeah. Last Wednesday. This man thought his horse was colicking. It was one of those days I could’ve lived without, if you know what I mean. However, the horse is fine. Full recovery. It was bad, though.”

“Yeah. I can’t imagine how difficult that is.”

“I thought I’d eventually be desensitized to it, but nah. Not sure that ever goes away,” I explain. “But anyway, what’s up with you lately?”

“Summer got a call yesterday from this man called Andrew Callo, and he offered her fifty thousand dollars to rent the BB until Sunday.”

My mouth nearly falls to the ground. “Holy shit.”

“I know. She canceled all the reservations we had.”

I shake my head. “I guess it’s true that with enough money, a person can buy anything they want.”

Beckett shrugs. “We only had three people staying this week, but she found them somewhere else to go and hooked them up with free training lessons, so it all worked out.”

“What if this guy is a weirdo?” I think about Remi working there at night alone with this man, but the thought doesn’t settle well with me.

Beckett shrugs. “Then I’ll fuck him up.”

I laugh. He’s always been a bulldog, and he will bite. Some people run their mouths. He means it. It’s how I know we’d fight if he knew the truth about me and Remi. It’s why I’m always prepared.

“How’s it been living with Remi?” he asks, but he zeroes in on me.

I think about the plan she’s enacting next week. I don’t know if it’s the right decision.

“We’ve not crossed paths once since I moved in. We need a bigger bathroom, though.”

I’d rather live with her in a house we build together, one we can make our own, but I don’t dare say that out loud.

He chuckles. “Yeah. I didn’t realize how fucking gross Summer was until I lived with her. She does this thing where she puts strands of hair on the shower wall. I’ll come home, and there’s long hair slapped on the tile. I’ve cleaned it up for the past month, and she hasn’t noticed. Not even once.”

“Do you still have a weak stomach?”

I thought he grew out of this. Beckett used to dry heave when it came to literal shit. His parents had this cattle dog when we were kids, and if it had an accident in the house, he’d clean it and complain while gagging. He refused to deal with his baby siblings. He seems like a hard ass.

“Yeah.”

I burst into laughter and snag another donut. “This kid is going to kill you. They’re disgusting.”

“I know. I’ll be gagging my way through a diaper change. And spit up.” He makes a face and shakes his head. “I’m hoping I become desensitized to it. Praying, actually.”

“Doubt it,” I tell him.

“I was going to ask you how Remi has been acting lately. She told me last week that she and Eric broke up,” he says. “She seems down.”

“Really?” I ask, knowing this is part of the plan.

“I’m concerned,” he tells me. “I know her schedule is changing next week, but will you please keep an eye on her?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Thank you,” he sighs.

The main door opens and closes. Beckett and I turn our heads to see Melody. She smiles at him. “Good morning,” she says.

“Would you like a donut?” Beckett asks.

“No thanks. But do any of you know Lexi Matthews?”

We’re both confused.

“Yeah,” Beckett says.

“This guy just approached me when I was walking out of the diner and asked me if I could give him information about her. It was creepy.”

Beckett’s brows furrow. “Someone asked Kinsley and Remi.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

Melody pulls her phone from her pocket. “I researched her, and she’s dating Easton Calloway.”

“Who’s that?” Beckett asks.

“Are you serious?” she asks. “You don’t know who he is?”

Beckett glances at me, and I shrug.

“They call him the Prince of Diamonds. Calloway Diamonds. None of that rings a bell?”

I make a face. “We don’t keep up with shit like that.”

“Anyway, Alexis is dating him. They’re like the real deal. She’s from here, right?”

“Yeah, she is,” Beckett says. “Just seems weird. How’d they meet?”

“Not sure.” She turns her phone around and shows us a picture of them sitting together in the park. They look happy. The spark is undeniable.

It makes me wonder if that’s what everyone sees with me and Remi, and that’s why they’re convinced something is going on. It’s the only way because we’re hardly together, even privately.

I can count on my two hands how many times we’ve seen one another since I moved back. Seeing her sometimes is better than never, but now I want always and forever.

“Is that her?” Melody asks, swiping through other photos of them leaving an event. Seeing Lexi in that setting is odd, but they’re a perfect match. He’s darkness, and she’s sunshine.

“Yeah.” Beckett shakes his head. “They’re here to get information about her. Bastards. We protect our own ’round here, so no one better talk.”

She locks her phone. “They offered me $100 for a statement.”

“Shoulda negotiated,” I tell her.

“Hell no. They were rude. One guy grabbed my arm to stop me, and I nearly drop-kicked him, then sprayed him with mace.”

“Shoulda. Then told them to get fucked,” Beckett says, and his phone rings, pulling his attention away. He turns it around, and I see Harrison’s name on the screen.

As he stands, he offers me more donuts, and I shake my head. “See ya,” he says, answering.

Melody walks further into my office and sits where Beckett just was. “How are things going?”

“Great.”

I try to check in with her weekly, even if it’s five or ten minutes to catch up since she’s my right-hand woman.

“How are you liking things?” I ask.

“I’m shocked you grew up here. Like really? No wonder you’re the way you are. Southern is a lifestyle in this part of the state.”

I laugh. “I know. Horses have always been a major part of my life. My dad’s a breeder, so it’s ingrained in me. Anyway, how’d you like to stay after your internship?”

A smile fills her face. “Are you kidding?”

“Dead serious. It’s busy around here. I can only handle so much, and you’ve been doing an incredible job running the office while I’m out. Several people have told me how great you were with their dogs and cats. They like you ’round here a lot.”

Her grin doesn’t falter.

“Obviously, you don’t have to decide right now. You have two months of the internship left, but I’d like to know thirty days before your contract ends. I can get Stephanie, my lawyer, to help me draw up another one and make a new offer to keep you on. We can discuss pay and all of that,” I tell her. “I don’t want to work like a dog for the rest of my life. Having help would give me the work-life balance I haven’t had since I graduated.”

“Dr. Johnson, I don’t need time to think about it. I’d be honored to have this position.”

“Great to hear.” I hold out my hand, and she gives me a firm shake. “I look forward to working with you.”

“Thank you for the opportunity. I appreciate it. My med school friends are going to be jealous. I’m the first to snag a permanent job.”

I chuckle. “That must feel good. I was the first in my class, too.”

“Yeah, but you’re the best in the state. Everyone knows that.”

“I lost a lot getting there,” I tell her.

“But the experience is what people dream of having. You can work anywhere in the world.”

“That’s true. However, I’m exactly where I want to be.”

She tilts her head. “Was it hard? Working for the clinic? And the horse track?”

“It’s very competitive and cutthroat. You can’t have a soul. I trusted no one because they all wanted to be where I was. Sabotage is real. Working in that type of environment after med school wasn’t healthy.”

“I heard that, actually,” she says. “I did my research on you before I took the position. A college friend helped.”

My brow pops. “And?”

“I know your credentials. Her brother worked with you at the animal hospital in Houston. She asked him what he thought about you.”

I cross my arms, actually enjoying this conversation. “Oh, really?”

“Apparently, you’re feared,” she says. “You were called an assertive asshole who’d fire someone without question if the protocol wasn’t followed properly. He said you were difficult, but if I passed up the opportunity to work beside you, I was fucking stupid. You’re respected. The best.”

“My reputation often precedes me.”

“I was prepared to deal with this gigantic asshole,” she says. “You’re a puppy.”

“There are fewer people and fewer sick animals here, but I’m still an asshole. You do what you should, so I don’t have to act that way. If you’d made a mistake the first week, I’d have terminated you and found someone else. Your standards match mine, so I have no issues.”

She nods. “I know.”

“What do you think Rob will say?” I ask. “Is he getting along okay in Valentine?”

Rob is Melody’s fiancé who moved to the middle of nowhere, Texas, to be with her. It must be true love because Valentine doesn’t have much to offer other than small-town living. There is an allure to that, though. I missed it after living in Austin and Dallas through my twenties and almost half of my thirties.

Coming home was nostalgic for many reasons.

“Are you kidding me? He loves it here.” She laughs. “More than me. He’s been driving to Big Bend once a month to hike. I’ve joined him several times, but he’s really into it. His parents are considering moving here if we end up staying.”

I grin. “Guess you can share the good news.”

“Yeah. This was a pleasant talk. Thank you again.” Her smart watch buzzes, and she twists her wrist to look at it. “Gotta get ready for my first appointment. Annual shots.”

“Ah. I have to get going, too. If you need anything today, call me. I don’t care what’s going on, okay?”

She nods. “Yes, Dr. Johnson. Have a safe day.”

“You, too,” I tell her, then walk to my truck. I grab my medical bag and double-check the supplies I have on board. After I close the door, the growls of Remi’s Mustang grab my attention.

I take a step back and watch her pass by. She picks up speed, kicking up gravel and dust. I shake my head and smirk, imagining the smile on her perfect face.

Her car roars to life as she turns onto the country road. I watch until the red of her taillights fades into the distance, and she’s out of sight. I wish she would’ve stopped. However, we’re still playing it safe and agreed we wouldn’t see each other until her birthday. The anticipation might kill me.

I’d die a thousand deaths if I could live with her for just one lifetime.