Chapter 1

“You may now kiss your bride.”

My best friend Beckett wraps his arm around his beautiful wife, Summer, and their lips desperately crash together. Love and happiness radiate from them.

I smile and glance at Remi Valentine, Beckett’s younger sister, and our eyes lock. She wears a lilac bridesmaid dress that clings to her body like a second skin and holds a bouquet of bright-colored wildflowers close to her chest. Her long brown hair frames her pretty face, and she smiles in awe for her big brother.

She’s fucking mesmerizing.

We’re lost in the moment, in the could be. The air hangs heavy with unspoken words, and Remi’s breath hitches in response.

What I’d do to kiss her like this, to claim her as mine in front of a hundred people without consequence.

As we stare at one another, the world around us slows to a crawl, and it’s just us, suspended in time, making wishes that can’t and won’t come true. Weddings remind me of what I can’t have—her.

The intensity threatens to consume us both, so I force my attention away from Remi and return it to the newlyweds.

When Beckett and Summer release their embrace, the guests stand and erupt into thunderous applause.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I’m pleased to officially introduce you to Mr. and Mrs. Beckett Valentine.”

On cue, the exit music plays, and Summer and Beckett glide down the makeshift aisle adorned with silk material and rose petals. As they pass, confetti showers them like a gentle rain. They laugh, steal another kiss, and the wedding party follows behind them.

Once the group is out of sight, I speak directly into the microphone still attached to my lapel. All heads turn toward me. “Hi, everyone. The Valentines would like to invite you for finger foods, adult beverages, and dancing in the barn. There will be cake too. The lit trail will guide the way,” I say, pointing in that direction.

As I look around and notice the happy couples, regret takes hold.

I blame my obsession with becoming one of the best equestrian vets in Texas. Many warned me this would happen if I continued to chase success, and they were right. I’m 33 years old, going on 34, and single but somehow also taken. It’s complicated, but I gave my heart away nearly seven years ago.

I scan the crowd, and as I do, I find Christine, the woman I invited to be my plus-one for the occasion. She waves her hand to grab my attention. A herd of people surround her as she steps to the trail’s edge, and she points toward the barn. I can’t hear what she says between the music and the chatter, but I get the gist—she’ll meet me there—so I give her a thumbs-up.

I remove my microphone and hand it to Grace Valentine. She married Beckett’s brother, Harrison, and organized the wedding. Tonight, she’s the one in charge and calls all the shots.

“How’s everything going?” I ask as she glances down at her long checklist.

“As planned, how I like it. You did great, as always,” Grace says with a smile. I officiated for her and Harrison last month. “Have fun with your date.”

She glances up at me with confusion but doesn’t continue. They were roommates for almost six months.

Somehow, I knew she’d notice.

“Yeah, thanks,” I say as she moves to complete the next task on her list. She speaks into a handheld radio as she rounds the large house.

When I arrived with Christine, all heads turned. I expect rumors about my new girlfriend will spread around town before the rooster crows tomorrow, which is perfect. I’ve always heard the saying that when you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes, and I’m okay with that. I’ll do whatever it takes to get what I want, even if that means creating false narratives.

After the group photos, the wedding party goes their separate ways. As Beckett and Summer walk onto the back porch, I smile and greet them. It’s the first time I’ve caught them alone since the rehearsal dinner a few days ago. When I’m within reach, Beckett pulls me into a brotherly hug.

“Congratulations,” I say, with my arm wrapped around him. We forged our friendship in the fires of childhood and created a bond that’s as thick as blood. Tonight, I stood beside him, not just as his best friend, but as the officiant of his union with the love of his life—Ms. Summer Jones. Excuse me, Mrs. Summer Valentine.

“Thank you for everything.” Beckett’s voice quivers with gratitude, his happiness is palpable as country music drifts in the distance through the late spring air. The party started fifteen minutes ago, but I can tell it’s gonna be a rowdy one.

“It’s an honor,” I admit as we let go of one another.

He’s entered a new era of adulthood that includes a spouse, and eventually kids, and too many animals. Beckett is proof that our lives are changing and we’re growing older.

When did we become adults?

“You’re both living your dreams,” I say proudly, pulling Summer into a heartfelt hug. My best friend has crushed on her since we were teenagers. Nothing makes me happier than seeing them like this.

“Thanks, Cash,” she says, her voice filled with genuine appreciation as she squeezes me. “You’re pro-level at being an officiant.”

“I’m well-practiced,” I admit as we release our embrace.

This is my twenty-fifth wedding to officiate. I became ordained as a fucking joke in college, and years later, the joke is on me. Now, I’m always marrying people and never the one saying “I do”. Ironic.

“Make sure to enjoy the night,” I remind them. “You only get married once.”

Summer giggles. “That better be the case.”

“I’m never letting you go, SumSum,” Beckett says, capturing her lips. Summer playfully swats at him for calling her the nickname he often uses to tease her.

They’re so damn happy that it’s contagious.

I can only imagine what it’s like to have everything—the perfect job, great friends, and a relationship worth risking it all for. It’s the trifecta that I’ve chased for years, that I’m still chasing.

The photographer snaps candid photos of us laughing. The flashes nearly blind me, but I’m a good sport and pretend like she’s not there. It will be a fun memory to look back on when we’re old and gray.

When Beckett and Summer’s parents steal their attention, I step away, giving them space, and look out at the pasture. Training horses graze in the distance as the sun sets below the horizon. I check my watch, knowing this shindig will only last a few hours.

As I turn my head, I see Remi enter the bed and breakfast. I should go to the reception and find Christine, but instead, I tuck my hands into my suit pockets and move inside the farmhouse like I’m chasing the white rabbit. It’s reckless, considering most know how that went for Alice in Wonderland.

Her heels click against the hardwood floor, and she stops walking when the screen door closes. When I round the corner, she stands with her arms over her chest at the bottom of the stairs that lead to the top floor. Remi’s blue eyes claw into me, taking hold, pinning me in place.

“Are you following me?” Her eyes flick down my body, then back up to my mouth as she eye fucks me. She did the same during the ceremony, and I nearly forgot what I was saying.

I smirk. “No.”

“Liar,” she whispers, stepping closer. “Shouldn’t you be with your date?”

I gently reach for her elbow, brushing my thumb against her soft skin. “Is that jealousy I sense?”

I love that she wants to keep me to herself, even if she doesn’t admit it.

She lets out a humph and presses her pouty red lips together like a pure fucking temptation.

“You didn’t answer the question,” I mutter, wishing I could worship her how she deserves, how she craves.

I study her, never able to get enough of how damn gorgeous she is with her cute button nose and freckles that sprinkle across her cheeks. I’ve spent hours swimming in her deep blue eyes, the ones that see straight through me.

“Reverse the roles. Had I invited an attractive man to be attached to my side, how would you feel?” she asks.

I couldn’t handle it. However, when it comes to her, my stance has never changed.

“We’re friends, and she knows I’m unavailable. Everyone knows I’m unavailable,” I say truthfully, not wanting her to agonize. “I brought her as a conversation starter and because she was bored. Trust me, Rem.”

She moves toward me, removing the space between us. “You’re the only person I ever let call me that.”

I place my hand on her cheek, brushing my thumb across her bottom lip, wanting to cross the line.

“Fuck,” I hiss, knowing I can’t kiss her. To be clear, I fucking want to. I always want to.

“We agreed we wouldn’t do this,” I whisper against her mouth as she nearly begs me to make the first move.

“You’re right,” she says like she’s fighting the urge.

We’re at a stalemate knowing that if we open Pandora’s box again, we’ll never close it.

We last kissed at her brother Harrison’s wedding a month ago. That night, we couldn’t keep our eyes off each other, and it came to a headway in her old bedroom. Things got out of hand; we were desperate and messy, and I nearly fucked her on her childhood bed as everyone drank sparkling champagne in her parents’ backyard. We called it quits before we went too far.

Just because we’re not fooling around doesn’t mean she’s not my guilty pleasure. She is.

We’re right back to where we were, listening to heartfelt vows, knowing we could have that together but can’t pursue it. The thought wounds me.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, studying her. I shove my hands into my pockets and create space. The brain fog she puts me in slightly fades.

“It’s the right call,” she says, understanding I’m a forbidden fruit. Beckett has always told his sisters that I was off-limits. Remi was a boundary I never intended to cross.

Now that I’m back in Valentine, I’ve returned to the same place I was seven years ago—wedged tightly between giving myself to a woman I could spend the rest of my life with and carrying the guilt of losing my best friend. Either way, I’m fucked. In this scenario, I don’t win.

“Did you decide on my offer?” she finally asks.

“Becoming roommates is a bad idea,” I admit. It’s difficult to deny her when she looks at me like that. She controls our destiny, and I happily allow her to play puppet master, but living together is too risky. We’d grow too comfortable secretly playing house, and it’d become messy. At some point, pretending would be impossible for me. Would it be for her?

“We’ll make rules. You need a place. I need a roommate to help me finish out my lease. We work two different schedules, so it’s not like we’d be home at the same time. It’s the perfect situation.”

“For disaster.” I cross my arms over my chest, knowing better.

The silence draws on, but I can read her mind. And because she’s a stubborn Valentine, she will push the topic. It’s in their nature.

“Harrison is paying half my rent because he stole Grace from me. Beckett is the only one who needs convincing, and I’ve already put a bug in his ear about this, so who knows, he could become receptive. Miracles happen daily.”

“It’s unrealistic. You and I are hardly friends publicly,” I remind her, testing her just a tad to see where she really stands.

“That’s for appearances.” She grabs my hand, pulling me back to her. “I want to see you more.”

“Maybe I’ll tell everyone our truth so we can stop playing games.”

She wraps her arms around me, peppering soft kisses against my neck. “We can’t. But what happens behind closed doors can stay there.”

I constantly crave her closeness.

“You’re my Valentine, Rem,” I whisper, wanting her to understand this isn’t a game or a summer fling. When we’re together, it’s overpowering, intoxicating.

Our relationship is a secret that she’ll carry to the grave if that’s what it takes to continue seeing me.

“I’ve missed you,” she admits.

It’s been weeks since I saw Remi. Her asking me to move in replays in my mind like a hazy dream that I’ve relived over and over. We were in her old bedroom, she nearly begged me. I couldn’t answer and told her I needed time.

“I’ve missed you, too.” I rest my hands on her shoulders, threading my fingers through her silky hair, holding her against me.

She inhales me and sighs. Her phone vibrates, and she pulls it from a pocket in her dress. With hesitation, she backs away from me. “I’ve gotta go. Have fun with your date. I’ll start my search for another roommate.”

“Rem,” I say. “It’s a big decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly.”

“I understand. I just thought we could have time together. It was stupid. Let’s forget it,” Remi says, taking the stairs to the top floor of the BB. When she glances over her shoulder—watching me watch her—I wish she understood she’s the only woman I’ve ever wanted. I’d do anything for her, but she has to meet me halfway.

“Promise me you’ll consider it.”

“I will,” I say.

I have.

Moving in with her would be a dream come true, but it’s a selfish decision. I need a sign, something to tell me to move forward because if it doesn’t work out, I’ll lose everything.

If Beckett and her other brothers—Harrison, Colton, Emmett, and Sterling—learn the truth, they will hunt me down. They’re overprotective wolves who run in a pack and will attack.

I watch her until she’s out of sight, then leave the bed and breakfast.

As I suck in fresh air, I stare at the Zodiacal lights, wishing things were different.

Could they be?

As I take the gravel road to the barn, my boots kick up dust. It’s a longer route, but I need time to clear my mind because it’s a tangled mess. Being around Remi does that to me. She’s poison in my veins, and I’m without an antidote.

Laughter and music drift from the structure, and when I enter through the oversized entryway, I catch glimpses of so many happy people. There isn’t a face without a smile.

The Heartbreakers, London Valentine’s band, plays The Way You Look Tonight. Beckett and Summer are in the center of the room, dancing.

Moments like this remind me why I returned to Valentine.

And damn, it’s really good to be home.