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27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Jesse

The next day, I went into the club early. As a general rule, Vic showed up early, and I was hoping to get a few minutes with him to myself before we opened. I'd kept my true feelings about Victor's behavior at breakfast yesterday to myself because Andy had enough to deal with without worrying about mine and Victor's friendship, but I was not happy with him at all.

Sure enough, his car was parked in his normal spot right outside the back door. I wasn't sure exactly what I wanted to say, but I knew I couldn't stand back and say nothing at all. My boy was carrying a lot of guilt over the past, and Vic wasn't helping the situation. Andy had turned his whole life around since coming to Vesper, and he should be proud of that. And anyone, including Victor, who tried to use those past mistakes against him was going to have a problem with me.

I poured myself a cup of coffee and then went to the office. Victor was sitting there behind his desk doing something on the computer. I set the cup down on my desk and then turned my chair to face him.

"Victor, we need to talk about Andy."

He looked up at me and nodded his head. "We do. Seriously, man, you need to convince him to quit that job. It isn't safe."

I froze with my coffee cup halfway to my mouth. "Excuse me?"

"Look, I was okay with this whole firefighting thing at first because it gave him something to work for and kept him out of trouble, but it's been long enough. He has his head on straight now, so there's no reason for him to continue with this."

"Exactly, Victor. That's what I wanted to talk to you about." Did the man even hear the words coming out of his mouth? Andy did have his head on straight, so who was Victor to try to tell him he had to leave a job he loved?

"Good, then we're in agreement. You'll tell him he has to quit."

"No, Victor, I won't. Like you said, Andy has his head on straight now, and he's a grown man. He can choose his own path in life."

"But you're his Daddy. Isn't it your job to keep him safe? That job has never been safe, and especially not now with this arsonist out there."

"Sure, I worry about his safety, Victor, but what I understand that you don't seem to get is that Andy loves being a firefighter. He isn't doing it as some crazy stunt to prove a point. He doesn't choose to run into danger when most people would run out because he's self-destructive. He does it because that's who he is, Vic. He's the kind of man who will willingly risk his own life to save someone else's."

"I'm sure there's another way he can do that without putting himself at risk," Victor insisted.

"By doing what, planning parties?"

"But that was what he wanted."

I rolled my eyes. I'd always known Vic was stubborn, but this was over the top. He couldn't let go of who Andy was and see him for who he was now.

"I don't know what he wanted before, but I do know what he wants now, and that's to be a firefighter. Like I said, he loves that job, and I would never ask him to give up something he loves because it scares me. This has to be his choice, Vic, not mine, and not yours. His."

"He's going to get himself killed," he grumbled.

"He's smart, he's good at his job, and he has a solid team he works with. I just have to trust that he's going to come home to me safe each and every shift, and you're going to have to learn to do the same, or eventually, it's going to come between you. He loves being a firefighter, and he loves you. Don't put him in a position where he feels he has to choose. It isn't fair."

"You honestly believe he wants to remain a firefighter because he loves it, not because it gives him some kind of adrenaline rush?"

"Oh, it gives him a rush, no doubt, but that's not why he does it. He does it because he's a good man, Vic. And because he's making a difference."

His shoulders sagged, and he rubbed his hand over his face. "I just don't want to lose him, Jess. We were never super close when we were growing up because I was so much older than him, and now that he's here in Texas, I like having him around."

"Yeah, well, I like having him around, too, Vic, believe me. But we have to accept him for who he really is if we want to keep him."

"And you plan to keep him?"

I chuckled. "Yeah, Vic, I plan to keep him. Your little brother is a sneaky little brat, and somewhere along the way, he managed to become the one thing I can't live without."

He looked at me for a second and then nodded his head. "I knew you were the perfect Daddy for my brother. I'm glad he has you in his corner, and I'll talk to him. I'm still not happy about him putting his life in danger. But you're right. He's an adult, and it's his choice to make."

"Sounds good, but you need to be the one to call him and set something up. I got him to invite you to breakfast so you two could talk, and you fucked that up. This one's on you."

Andy

I'd spent the whole day floating on cloud nine. Jesse loved me. Not only that, he wanted me to stay here with him, and not because he was worried about the arsonist, but because he wanted us to live together. I would have to pay a penalty to get out of the lease on my rental, but that was a small price to pay to be with Jesse.

After he left for the club, I spent a little time doing some chores like laundry and making a grocery list for the next day. Then I turned on one of my favorite episodes of Ghost Hunters , grabbed myself a beer, and sat down to practice the most recent stitch that Gigi had shown me. I'd just gotten started when my phone rang.

I looked at the screen and, to my surprise, saw Victor's name. I hadn't expected to hear from him for at least a few days after the way he'd stormed out of the restaurant. Not to mention the fact that he would normally be at work by now.

I pressed the button to accept the call. "Hey, Vic."

"Hey, kid, since I handled the club on my own last night, Jesse's kicking me out tonight. How about I swing by Little Italy and grab us some pizza and we hang out for a while? I feel like we have some things we need to talk about. Besides, I barely even see you now that you and Jesse are a thing."

I'd been spending most of my time with Jesse, and while I really didn't want to rehash the argument about whether or not I should be a firefighter, I did want to spend time with my brother.

"Sure, I have beer, water, and tea, but if you want anything else to drink, you'll have to bring it."

"Okay, I'll be there in an hour or so."

"Hey, Vic," I said quickly before he could hang up.

"What?"

"Be sure and get some cheese sticks, too."

"Fine," he grumbled and disconnected the call.

He always gave me a hard time about my love for cheese sticks. He said they were just cheese pizza with a markup, but they weren't. They were so much better than that.

Just thinking about what he wanted to say made me anxious. He'd been so supportive at first when I'd decided to become a firefighter, but once the reality of the job kicked in, he'd been much less so. I valued his opinion, and I hated knowing I worried him, but I wasn't going to give up my job, no matter what he said.

I'd thought about calling Jesse and letting him talk me through it, but in the end, I didn't want to drag him further into mine and Victor's issues. I had no doubt that if it came down to it, Jesse would take my side, and their friendship mattered too much to both of them for me to get in the way.

By the time Vic arrived carrying two pizza boxes, I was a mess, but I was determined to act normal. "Do you want to take this out on the screened porch? It's nice out tonight."

"Sure, why not?"

"Great, you go ahead and take the pizza out there, and I'll grab us a couple of beers and some plates."

I took a few minutes to gather everything up and then went out the back door where he waited.

"I don't remember these lights being out here." He pointed up at the twinkle lights I strung around the perimeter of the porch.

"I put those up. Early morning is my favorite time to come out here, and they give off just enough light."

"You two have just settled in real nice, haven't you?"

I couldn't tell from his tone if that was sincere or if he sounded a little condescending, but I chose to take it the best way possible.

"We have. It's…he's…I don't know, perfect, I guess. For me, anyway."

He smiled at me. "I'm thrilled for you both. I don't remember ever seeing you so happy, and I've never seen Jesse like this. He's fiercely protective of you, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. He's the best." I was getting the feeling that Victor coming over here while Jesse was at work was no coincidence. So my thought of keeping Jesse out of mine and Victor's issues had been pointless. He'd already gotten involved. "Did he tell you to come over here and talk to me?"

"No, talking to you was my idea, but he did give me a good talking to beforehand. Apparently, your new Daddy thinks you're perfectly capable of making your own decisions."

"My Daddy would be right. I am. I know I messed up before, but, Vic, I was in a bad place back then. I'm not now, and being a firefighter isn't a bad choice. It's a good one. I love the job."

"I just worry. It's so dangerous, and you always knew what you wanted. I remember when you were a little boy, you would pull up a stool to the bar and help mom arrange centerpieces for her garden parties. Or you would go with her to fundraising events, and you knew as much about place settings as the adults did. I just don't understand how you could go from that to being a firefighter."

I took in a breath and told my brother my truth, the thing that I not only had never wanted to say out loud, but the thing I also never wanted to be true.

"I never really liked it, Victor. Not really."

"But what about Mom? The two of you were going to do it together."

"We were," I agreed. "But that was never my dream. It was hers, and I didn't have the heart to tell her it wasn't mine. You had all Dad's attention, but I could never be the son he wanted. I didn't care about the business at all."

"And Mom, she was always so busy, between her charity events and parties and social obligations," he added.

"Right, and even if I didn't love those things, I could do them."

"Shit, kiddo, I never thought of it that way."

"Why would you? You were older, and you were already on track to take over the business."

"I was going to take over the business because it was what Dad wanted, not because it was what I wanted. That was part of why I couldn't get out of town fast enough after they died. Because part of me was so relieved, I could just sell the business, and I felt so guilty because their death set me free."

"I understand. I was so dreading going back to school that fall because I already knew I didn't want to do it. I was picturing a future of garden parties and bridezillas, and it was horrible. Then they were gone, and I didn't have to do it anymore."

"We were both dealing with the same thing but in different ways."

"Yeah, I think all the extreme sports stuff was just me trying to be who Dad wanted me to be, to make him proud, you know. I was never getting in a shark cage or going mountain climbing, but I could parasail and go rock climbing."

"He would have loved parasailing," Victor said with a laugh.

"It was amazing. I'm not gonna lie."

"So you were trying to make Dad proud by taking risks, and I was trying to make Mom proud by making sure the dream I thought you both had was realized."

I shrugged. "I think the two of us just missed them both and were doing the best we could."

"Maybe. But I think we can find other ways of honoring them, don't you?"

"I know you never wanted to disappoint Dad, but he wouldn't have wanted you running the company when you didn't want to. You know that now, don't you?"

He nodded his head. "And Mom would have loved planning parties with you, but not if she knew you wanted something else."

"That's true. You know you're actually a lot more like her than you realize. She always took care of me, and that's exactly what you did last year. Dad would have just flipped his shit, but not you. You did exactly what Mom would have done. You came and got me and made sure I got myself straight."

"Maybe, but I don't believe you were never the son Dad wanted. He just wasn't sure what to do with you since business wasn't your thing."

"Still isn't, but I do love being a firefighter, so maybe I actually do have a little more of Dad's adventurous spirit than I'd thought. But I never would've realized that if they were still here."

"I think we both have a little more of that than we thought because I did enjoy driving that race car."

"Well, I've had enough of going fast, but there are still things I wanted to try that I didn't get around to before you came swooping in and drug my ass to Texas."

"Yeah, like what?"

"White water rafting, for one. I looked into doing the Upper Gauley dam release. Did you know it's over eleven miles long and has over fifty rapids? It's on a list of the top ten most extreme trips in the world."

"Okaaay," he said, looking at me like I was an alien.

"We could go next fall if you want to."

"I would have to look into it."

"You do that, Vic. Maybe by then, you'll have found a man of your own, and we could all go together."

"Yeah, I wouldn't hold my breath on that one."

"We'll see." I teased. "So are we good?"

"We're good. I'll try not to harass you about your job, but you have to promise to be careful."

"I always am. That doesn't guarantee nothing will happen, but I have a great team backing me up. Now, let's eat this pizza before it gets cold."

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