Chapter 1

Corrin

"I can't believe they tried to set you up again, man. You would think they learned not to after all this time." Tennyson, my best friend, cackles across the phone line while I pace my bedroom.

The bedroom in my parents" house.

I've just managed to flee the dinner table after there was talk about another potential date with a young woman who is the daughter of a friend from their country club. They swear to me she's a sweetheart who won't mind my schedule and is looking to settle down.

Mind you, I'm not.

Looking to settle down that is.

I'm at the peak of my career. Things are going amazingly for me now. I don't need anything or anyone to derail me.

If only I could convince my parents of this. The two of them have been actively looking to fix me up with someone for years now, with their pursuits only getting more extensive as time passes. I feel like I'll show up one day to visit to find they'll already have a ring and wife picked out.

I shiver at the idea.

While I'm sure the women they want to introduce me to are nice, none of them are what I want. Nor are they what I need.

I think back to the conversation I had a few months ago with my brother-in-law, Smith, and his boyfriend Zach. They both agreed with my harebrained idea of getting a fake boyfriend. Someone who would just fill the role in name only to keep the vultures away.

Oh, did I forget to mention it's not just my parents trying to set me up now? It's my record label too.

The idea never really went anywhere. I was burned-out from a long tour. My body only wanted to eat and sleep for a week straight. It's basically what I did after a stop to see Smith and my favorite human ever, my niece Star.

When I left them, I returned home for a couple of weeks to relax, then I packed up my life again to start working on the next album. And that's what I've been attempting to do all the weeks since.

Except.

Well, except nothing is coming.

I'm dry. Empty. At a fucking loss for words.

The music that normally fills my head is nowhere to be found. All I can see are images of wedding bells and a demand to reproduce. Neither of those are ideal for me at this stage in life.

I have commitments elsewhere.

Elsewhere being my band, Loveless.

Alternative rock is not everyone's cup of tea, but we've found a way to blend it with folk and pop and jazz, along with a host of other vibes. That means we"ve had a fan base like that of those early 2000s pop princesses. Our fans are ravenous for more music.

And yet, I can't deliver.

I've brought the others out to visit and tried to jam with them. I've listened to my favorite music for inspiration. Basically, I've given it everything in me, but still, nothing comes.

"They're never going to stop. I just know it. I have to find another way," I say to Tenn when he finally stops laughing at my expense.

Another way, as in Austen, my brain screams.

Austen, aka Tenn's brother, was my first choice when I thought up the whole fake dating scenario. He still is my first choice.

It's just that there are so many variables to consider. First and foremost, I have no idea if Austen even likes men. I've been openly bi since my late teens. Austen is not. Open, I mean. He's so quiet about everything that I have no idea who, or if, he even dates.

Secondly, and almost as important, is that Austen is Tenn's brother. His little brother. His little brother, who is seven years younger than me.

Seven isn't such a huge number when you're older. For instance, thirty-two and thirty-nine is a reasonable age gap. It's when you're younger, like Austen and I are, that things get tricky.

Being in your twenties is a time to explore. Austen is just now learning freedom for the first time. Life feels wide open for exploration. But your thirties are different. It's when you consider settling down and maybe having a family. You're usually a touch more settled at work, or you have a better idea of what you want to do with life. I'm much calmer after turning thirty than I ever was in my younger years.

The difference between Austen and me, it's like a chasm. A deep pit. A Grand Canyon of sorts.

So yeah, our age difference is a fucking problem.

Add to that the issues with my career, Austen still being in college, my lack of writing inspiration, and you can see why I'm feeling overwhelmed. Christmas helped me feel a bit better, but now that we're past the holiday, I feel like I want to crawl out of my skin.

"There has to be something you can do. Something that doesn't involve you basically being sold off to the highest female bidder your parents find."

"No bidding has happened," I scoff.

I don't need to see Tenn to know he's rolling his eyes. Fucking drama king.

"Maybe not, but it's like an auction house over there. Why are you even still in town? Austen and I left already. Smith and Zack are busy enjoying the break, so I know you're not with them. Why not get back on a plane, go back to your beach house, and crank out the tunes?"

BECAUSE I CAN'T.

My throat burns from holding back the words. It does no good to tell him so. He doesn't get it. Doesn't understand the pressure I'm feeling at this stage of the game.

Sure, he was there when I got started. Hell, his love of film and his need to record my jam sessions are the reasons I even have the career I do. My label saw us playing, then reached out for a contract. It was fucking wild, and I owe a shit ton of it to Tenn.

But that doesn't mean he gets me.

That he gets this whole issue.

Part of me knows it's the pressure of being tied down that's messing with the music. I know my muse is still here. It's merely buried under the other emotions that have risen.

"I'm in town because work isn't going well. I needed to get away from the beach house for a bit. Do something else. Mix it up."

Admitting that much is easy. It's the why and how that is complicating my life.

"Then come here." His tone tells me he believes this to be the obvious answer.

"Come there? To Boston?"

"Cambridge technically. Though my place is in Boston officially. So yeah — come out here. Have some fun and maybe fix your work stuff. If you don't have to be at the beach, then don't be. Do what you want, Corrin. The beauty of being a rich and famous rockstar is getting to live life however you want to."

I bark a laugh at the notion.

Nothing is how I want it.

I want the music to come. I want the words to flow. I want to feel like I'm in control of my life.

I want Austen.

Fuck me.

The thought comes rapidly, unbalancing me in a way nothing else does. Austen with his soft smile and toned body. Austen with his heart of gold and the urge to help others without asking for anything in return. Austen with his quiet strength I find all too appealing.

Austen. Austen. Austen.

"You there, bro?" Tenn calls.

I cough as I fight the erection my thoughts have caused. "Here. Good. Yeah."

"So, you're coming, right?"

Not yet, I'm not.

I don't stop to think. I merely give the answer that feels right. "Yep. I'm coming. Let me grab a flight, then I'll shoot you details."

Tenn whoops a shout of victory. "This is going to be great. The band is back together again!"

"You know that joke doesn't make much sense given I have an actual band, and we're not together right now."

"Pish-posh! You know what I mean. Stop being a butthead."

"Not being a butthead. Merely stating facts, Tenn."

He hums under his breath, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. "Well, since you're coming here, I'll get off the phone to try to get some work done. Austen or I will pick you up from the airport, since we're sharing a place right now."

I pause in unzipping my suitcase. "You're living together again? I thought he'd moved out."

"He did. But then there were issues with his landlord and some annoying guys in his new place. Even after talking to them, they wouldn't let up their loud parties and drunken shenanigans. I told him to come stay with me. Thankfully, we'd just paid off his lease. Would have sucked to have two of them."

Copper fills my taste buds as I bite down hard to resist the urge to pay for it. Not because I don't think it's a good idea, but more because Tenn hates me offering him money. He much prefers to earn it in his own way.

Austen is the same.

And I'm back to thoughts of my off-limits best friend's younger brother.

The same man I'm apparently about to be staying with.

"No need to pick me up. I'll grab a hotel," I tell my friend as my movements pick back up. The sooner I get packed, the sooner I can be on a plane and away from my own personal hell of real-life bachelor setups.

"Like hell you're getting a hotel. This place has enough room."

"Um, no it doesn't. Didn't you tell me it was a two bedroom?"

He groans. "Well, yeah, it is. But we can work around that. There's a couch, which I'll sleep on if need be. Or we can get an air mattress. I mean, if I weren't so irresistible, then we could bunk together. I just know it would be so hard for you to keep to yourself while naked beside me."

I make a gagging noise over the line.

"Shut up! You're not irresistible in the slightest. And also, why are we naked? We could sleep clothed." Not that I want to sleep with him at all.

"You might sleep with clothes on. I much prefer to free ball it. Helps with the cramps."

"The — you know what? Don't tell me. I'd rather you not explain. Either way, this works out well since I want to review the information for the tour with you in person. I know there's still tons of time, but I have ideas."

"Oh, cool. Because I'm basically at a standstill until you produce another album. Everything I've built so far is generic. Thank goodness you have so many trolls on the Internet. It gives me actual work to do so I don't feel like a mooch."

This time, I roll my eyes. "You're not mooching off me. I love that you handle my socials and get shit done. Best decision ever to bring you in on this. Your attention to detail is better than anyone else"s."

"Factual information detected!" He makes a buzzing noise, then laughs at his silly humor. "Now stop wasting time. The sooner you get here, the sooner the album gets made and we can get you on the road."

"Alright, alright. Let's do it."

I end the call, then immediately pull up flight information. If I can't escape my creative block here, then maybe Boston will do it. Being with my best friend will at least put me in better spirits.

All I have to do is resist the pull to Austen.

That shouldn't be too hard.