Chapter 36

DARCY

* * *

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this," I mumble to Sammie.

"Look, it means a lot to Cole. It's his first MLB spring training. Things aren't great now, but you'll hate yourself years from now if you miss it." She spins around, arms wide open, as we walk toward the gates. "Besides, it's spring break. We're in Florida, and it's warm and sunny. Charleston is nice, but not this nice."

She's got me there. It's hard to believe it's February here. The sun does its best to warm me, but I've been cold since, well, for a while. Today the Liberties have a late afternoon game, and the weather is perfect.

We find our seats behind the home team dugout and are in the middle of a Cole Davidson fan section spanning three rows. Ashleigh and Emma have their heads together, conspiring about something, I'm sure. They're like me and Sammie, soul sisters. Ashleigh sits next to Mom, who is absorbed with something on her phone. I'm surprised to find Matt's parents here and the McIntyres, whom I met on draft day. I say hi to everyone as we take our seats in the front row. Matt's mom, Patti, gives me a sympathy smile. I return her greeting and put my shields up. I can do this for one game. These past seven weeks have given me lots of practice.

Trevor and Julian laugh and lean down to add to Ashleigh"s and Emma's whispered conversations. I may be paranoid, but I feel like everyone is looking and talking about me. I pick at the string from my worn jeans, making the distressed hole larger, taking my look from fashionable to homeless. I tug on my Liberties baseball jersey sleeves and attempt to hide.

After the intervention at The Wreck, Mom convinced me to talk to Cole. She guilted me into easing the tension between us because it could impact his performance with the team. The last thing I want to do is mess up his career, his dream. We've texted. Nothing major. Just keeping it surface, but at least I'm not ignoring him anymore. Because when I think about it, it sucks being ignored. He asked me to come to Florida, and Sammie wouldn't let me say no. So here I am.

Is Matt in Florida? I don't ask. The pity looks are hard to handle now as it is.

The game gets underway, and Cole's starting on first base. Everyone is having a good time, and the heckling is strong from our group. Matt's dad mumbles an occasional "good one" but pretends he disapproves of it. As a coach, he acts like it's about the performance, but sometimes, it slips that he's a fan of the game too.

Trevor and Julian are laughing and being obnoxious.

I turn back to Ashleigh and whisper. "Are they drunk? It's only the second inning."

She looks back at them and snickers. "Yeah, it's technically the eleventh inning for them. They've been at it a while."

Emma turns around and glares at them. "Behave," she hisses. "I don't want to get thrown out again."

"Again?"

Ashleigh gives me a genuine smile. "Yeah, they come down here every year and just cut loose. It's their annual boys-who-can't-grow-up spring break. They get rowdy, pull pranks on different teams, and sometimes get caught." She laughs. "It's a bit of a Decker tradition." Decker traditions. This family of friends who love each other fiercely. Cole is blessed to be in this circle, and I'm lucky they include me, too.

She looks down at her phone and answers the FaceTime request.

"Hey Ash, how's our guy doing?"

"Chancey," Julian yells at Ashleigh's phone.

"He's good," Ashleigh says. She pans her phone around at us, where everyone says hi, and at the field where Cole is on first base, watching the runner as he creeps closer to second.

"Sorry I can't be there," Chance says. "Business trip."

"Yeah, how's Vancouver?" she asks.

"A lot different than Florida, that's for damn sure." Chance's laugh is so warm, reminding me of his easygoing demeanor and big heart.

"I bet," she says.

"Hey, did I see Darcy there? Take me off FaceTime and let me talk to her a sec."

I feel the phone tap my shoulder, and Ashleigh hands me her phone. "Your friend wants to talk to you," she says with a wink.

Chance has texted and called a few times over the past few weeks under the guise of giving me feedback that he's still hearing about my work, but I know he's checking up on me. They all are. So I try — for them. I don't want any of them to worry about me. He broke me when we were in Vail, with the concern I might hurt myself. I never want anyone to worry about me like that.

"Hey, how are you?" I greet him, putting as much fun in my voice as I can muster. Sammie gives me a fake golf clap, acknowledging my performance.

"I'm good, beautiful. Although snowy Canada doesn't compare with fresh air and Florida sunshine. How are you?"

"Okay." When I realize that doesn't sound convincing enough, I add, "Good."

"Yeah, right. Broken hearts are a bitch." His sincerity seeps through the phone.

"Yep." No truer words were spoken.

"Well, just remember, I'm Team True Love, so I believe it'll all work out."

"Team what?" What is Chance talking about?

"Never mind. Just hang in there, okay? Have faith."

"Hey Chance, I never really got to thank you for having faith in me. Your house blew my professor away. I wouldn't be graduating if it weren't for you. I won't ever be able to repay you."

"You did all the work. I've told you before, you did an amazing job. Just promise you'll always have space on your calendar for me when you're a famous designer."

"Always."

"That's what I needed to hear. Hey, tell Cole I said hi and good luck. Big things happening for the Davidsons this year. Big things."

"Thanks, Chance. Play safe and win."

"Stay strong, beautiful. You got this."

He hangs up, and I go to pass the phone back to Ashleigh. I see she has a text preview she hasn't read yet. It was sent an hour ago.

Matt

It was a mistake.

With a trembling hand, I give Ashleigh her phone.

"Darcy, are you okay? You don't look good? Did Chance say something?"

"No, I, um, don't feel very well. I'm going to head out. You guys enjoy the game." I grab my purse and head to the concourse.

Sammie follows me up the stairs.

"Hey, what's going on?"

"Nothing. I really don't feel well. Stay with everyone. Cheer for Cole. I'll see you later, okay?"

I've got to get out of here now.

"Are you sure? I'll come with you." Concern fills her face, searching for the truth.

"I'm sure. I promise." I hug Sammie. My ride or die. My girl who has my back through everything. I love her, but the thought of anyone seeing me like this adds to my pain.

It was a mistake. An error. Like an "oops, my bad" kind of mistake.

"Love you, Sammie," I say as I pull away and head to the exit.

I order an Uber, swing by the hotel to grab my things and go to the airport before Cole's game ends. My phone is blowing up with texts checking on me. Everyone gets the same answer. I'm fine. But I'm not.

I'm a mistake.