Epilogue Three

Epilogue Three

The Group Text Messages

Banshee: Okay, girls, I know I just asked this in *our* group text, but Ash will not shut the fuck up asking me what our plans are, so I’m resending the question here.

Banshee: When the guys win that big shiny cup next week, who is going to host the celebration party?

Ash: Sue me for being interested in your life.

Banshee: You are overbearing and you know it. Go chat up your own group text.

Zach: Ours isn’t as fun as yours.

Banshee: And how would you know that?

Sugar: Lucky guess?

Banshee: Izzy!

Sugar: What? If we’re cuddling when you guys message me, he’s going to see it.

Zach: Yeah, Ash, maybe you should cuddle more.

Jackson: I just have Katelyn read them to me.

Banshee: Katelyn!

Kitten: Jackson, can I talk to you outside for a moment?

Jackson: Was that supposed to be a secret?

Banshee: Apparently nothing is sacred.

Ash: Am I the only one who hasn’t been spying on the wives?

Ash: Luke, where the fuck are you?

Banshee: Probably tied up in a bear suit.

Princess: Meghan!

Banshee: LoL Why are you responding? Is Luke… occupied?

Ash: When you release your husband, will you tell me where you got that tailoring done? I have a few things I want snaps added to.

Sugar: What snaps?

Princess: Meghan, I’m going to end you.

Banshee: I thought everyone knew!

Princess: You make a big deal about our texts but tell him that?

Sugar: Tell him what?

Sugar: What are you guys talking about?

Princess: Nothing! We are talking about nothing!

Banshee: Izz, I’ll text you.

Princess: I hate you.

Banshee: No you don’t.

Sugar: You put secret snap cutouts in the Blizz suit?!

Kitten: Hold up, what?

Princess: How do I leave this friend group?

Banshee: You can’t. It’s pretty much a blood-in, blood-out situation.

Princess: So if I throw a tampon at you, I can get out?

Sugar: Ew.

Princess: I’m not talking to you guys anymore.

Banshee: Luke can just answer for you. When you untie him.

Kitten: How do you know so much about their sex life?

Princess: Oh. My. God. She doesn’t.

Banshee: So are you saying you’ve never tied Luke up?

Jackson: I don’t think I want to know the answer to this question.

Ash: I do.

Zach: We’re in too deep now, Jacky Boy.

Jackson: I’m handing my phone to Katelyn. She’ll tell me when I can look again.

Ash: Prude.

Banshee: So…

Sugar: Natalie is taking an awfully long time to answer.

Banshee: Two blinks for yes. No blinks for no.

Kitten: How is she supposed to blink through a text?

Banshee: Logistics aren’t my problem.

Sugar: So when you say tie up… Is that like a rope? Or is it just a different way to say handcuffs?

Banshee: What do you know about handcuffs, Little Miss Izzy?

Sugar: Nothing.

Kitten: The lady doth reply too fast.

Banshee: Ash is the one who demanded this chat, and now he’s off on his laptop googling “sex ropes.”

Luke: *sends link for beginner restraint kit*