124. Luke

Chapter 124

Luke

I yawnas I pour myself a mug of coffee.

Then scroll through sports news on my phone as I pad over to the living room.

There’s nothing I really have to do today, so I might as well catch up on emails.

Eyeing my full coffee mug, I snag my laptop off the coffee table in front of the couch and head to the dining table.

I feel a weird mix of tired and nervous, and I don’t know why.

It’s that fucking dream.

Lowering into a chair, I set my mug down and then use my laptop to nudge a folder out of the way.

I roll my neck out while I open my laptop.

Then I stare at the screen.

It’s the page for a resort in Mexico.

The resort.

Was Natalie looking at this?

Does she want to go back?

I scroll the page and smile when I see the name of the suite she was looking at.

If she hasn’t already booked this room for us, I’m going to.

When I move the cursor, something else catches my attention.

The text thread with my cousin.

That nervous feeling inside me transforms into dread.

Mistake marriage.

Divorce.

Talk to her.

I look from the texts to the website.

Natalie was on this computer.

I look at the browser, wondering if I can find out when she was using it.

Hoping that maybe she didn’t see…

Divorce.

That word echoes in my mind. And I lift my eyes, looking past the computer screen to the folder on the table.

No.

She wouldn’t.

I shove the laptop to the side and drag the folder in front of me.

It looks like the same folder that was on her desk that day.

The day I went to her office.

My hands feel unsteady as I lift the cover.

I expect a typed form, but the top page is a handwritten letter.

I know what’s behind the letter, but I can’t bring myself to lift the page.

Because the letter is written to me.

Luke,

I’m sorry I’m being a coward and not doing this in person.

And I’m sorry for pushing you into this whole marriage thing.

I never should have done it. Shouldn’t have threatened you the way I did.

I’m sorry for making you flip your life upside down.

I know you didn’t plan on being my husband, but you were great at it. Too great.

And I can’t make you play along anymore.

It’s not fair to you.

And I can’t pretend like I’m not

If you ever get married again, I can tell her you weren’t in love with me. That it was all an accident. It won’t take away from what you offer her.

I’m sorry, Luke.

When you find someone to love, she’ll be a lucky girl.

Yours, Nat

I stare at the page.

Stare at the spots where the ink is smeared.

Look at the sentence she crossed out.

I can’t pretend like I’m not…

Not what?

And when you find someone to love.

What the fuck is she talking about?

I love her.

I don’t want to turn the page.

I don’t want to see what I know is there.

But I do it.

I lift the letter and look down at the divorce papers.

I look at Natalie’s signature, stark next to the blank space for mine.