Chapter 9

Emma

A lex had been gone seventy-two hours and it still didn’t feel real. I kept waiting for my chest to loosen, for my nerves to settle and for that feeling of freedom to take over inside my chest. But that didn’t happen.

Nothing happened.

Instead of feeling good about the next stage in my life all I felt was anxious and not the least of which was because it seemed as if law enforcement had infiltrated my neighborhood. With seventy-two hours gone, the police now considered his disappearance suspicious, and they were determined to find the good doctor wherever he may be.

“Are you okay?” Slate bumped my shoulder as he flashed a killer smile my way.

I shrugged, completely unsure how to answer that question. It seemed like my problems were just piling up, I still hadn’t figured out how or when I was going to tell Slate about Ashlyn. Part of me just wanted to keep quiet, and then once things settled down to take off and never look back. But the other part, the bigger part knew he needed to know his daughter, also since we’d been spending time together, I was realizing how much I liked him and wouldn’t mind sticking around. My eyes went to the street where I could see a police car parked, “Who knows what they’re telling the cops. They heard what he did in here, all of it. It’s impossible not to, and yet they didn’t come to my aid. They didn’t call the cops or shout for him to stop it. They did nothing, Slate. Absolutely nothing.” I hated that I sounded whiny and bitter. Angry.

“And you’re worried what they might be saying about you?”

“Of course,” I snapped inadvertently. “Sorry, it’s just that they could be saying nothing at all, giving he cops the whole they seemed like a nice family spiel, or they could lie and say that I was the problem.” My heart raced inside my chest, fire burned my veins, and I spent every other second waiting for them to come and slap a pair of cuffs on my wrists and just get it over and done with.

It was like everywhere I turned there was a uniformed cop or a detective questioning me. My neighbors. Ashlyn.

“Emma.” Slate’s voice was low and even, his tone serious as one hand landed on my shoulder and then the other. He said nothing for a long time, forcing my gaze to meet his. “Relax, okay? They don’t have shit on you, and we know that.” His words came out on a fierce whisper. “That is our advantage and I’m gonna need you to lean into it. Tell the story. Believe it and don’t flinch. Don’t ever fucking flinch. Got it?”

My breath hitched at the fierceness in his voice, the serious hotness that shadowed his face as he stared at me, waiting for a reply. I should’ve been afraid of that ferocity, of something so hot and dark and serious, but I wasn’t. Instead, I felt transfixed, and I couldn’t look away under the threat of death. “Yeah, Slate. I got it.”

He took a step back, a satisfied smile lit up his face. “Good. The key is to give them nothing Emma. Fuck that, give them less than nothing. They have a job to do and it’s your job not to make it easy for them.”

That seemed dishonest and I didn’t like it but despite my better judgment, I trusted him when it came to this. “And if they lie?”

“Oh they will fucking lie,” he said. “But it’s all for show. When they have something on you, they’ll slap cuffs on you. They might do the dance for a while but as long as you don’t give them anything, they have nothing.”

I felt uneasy and shaky about his words, not because I didn’t want to hear them but because I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to lie to the police. His fingertips dug into my shoulders, and I gasped as my gaze darted up to meet his.

“Shit, sorry.”

“It’s fine,” I brushed off my fear response. “It’s just habit.”

“I’m not going to hurt you, Emma. Not fucking ever. I’m kind of an intense guy, I fully admit that, but I don’t hurt women. I just want you to know that I’ve got your back and… shit, I want you to know that your only job here is to be strong for your kid. That means force the fucking cops to do their fucking job. Don’t do it for them.”

Why was everything he said so appealing? My lips curled into a reluctant smile. “You say ‘fuck’ a lot.”

He grinned and then laughed, the sound low and deep. “It’s the best word in the English language. So fucking multi-faceted.”

I laughed a little more. “Thank you, Slate. I appreciate your intense words of wisdom.”

The smile he hit me with was so enticing, so magnetic that I couldn’t look away. It was equal parts heat and fire, and the sheen of sweat that slicked across my skin was the first sign of trouble. I couldn’t let myself get involved with Slate, not when there was still a gigantic secret between us. “My pleasure.” His gaze was fixed on mine. “We good?”

I nodded slowly and licked my lips at the slightly vulnerable tone I heard in his question. “Yes. We’re good. Very good.”

“Don’t be scared of me.” It seemed like it was important to him, so I took my time answering, weighing my emotions where Slate was concerned.

I was afraid of him. Intimidated, really. But not because I thought he’d use his fists or feet on me, but because of the way he made me feel. Because of our shared past that he still didn’t know about. “I’m not afraid, not exactly. I’m just out of sorts right now and your intensity takes some getting used to.”

He nodded and removed his hands from my body. “That’s fair. But listen to me, Emma. You did the hard part already.” The words came out on a low growl. “You saved yourself and your daughter when no one else would. That’s superhero shit right there. Now, you just have to be strong like that a little longer. Can you do that for you? For Ashlyn? Can you?”

For my little girl I could do just about any damn thing. It was like he knew my triggers, knew what words would intensify my survival instinct. “Yes. I can do it.”

His smile brightened and one of his big hands reached up to cup one side of my face. “Good girl.”

Why those words of encouragement from his lips made me hot, I couldn’t say. I didn’t have a praise kink or a daddy kink, that I knew of, but his words made me hot and worse, they made me horny. I was just as turned on as I’d been that night six years ago in the elevator when anticipation skittered along my nerve endings like a live wire. My body shivered and vibrated under his touch until eventually I pulled away and made my escape up the front stairs and into the bedroom that I used to share with Alex.

It was weird, standing in the middle of the room and looking at his things while knowing that he wouldn’t ever come back to claim them. He would never hit me or mock me again. He wouldn’t berate me or make me afraid to exist in my own skin. Finally, a small bit of comfort washed over me knowing that small truth. Sure, it was overshadowed by all the people who suddenly gave a shit about him and his so-called disappearance, the same people who ignored bruises covered by makeup and arms in inconvenient slings.

But I just had to keep that one truth in mind, Alex could never hurt me or my child again.