Chapter 16

Emma

“W hat’s wrong Mommy?” Ashlyn tugged on the hem of my sweater and looked up at me with worried eyes.

I understood her worry because I was worried too. Slate had given me his car—because apparently bikers also have cars—to drive because he wanted me to be able to come and go as I pleased. He wanted me to know that I was no longer a prisoner. Anywhere. That was great, it was amazing actually but that wasn’t the problem I had right now as we stood inside the grocery store. It felt as if someone was watching me, and I couldn’t shake that feeling. You have to , I reminded myself and looked down at my daughter. “Nothing is wrong, Ash. Mommy just got lost in thought. What’s next on our list?”

“Cookies,” she answered with a straight face.

“Hmph.” I tapped my chin and pretended to look down at the shopping list in her hand. “Cookies are on the list?”

“Yep,” she nodded enthusiastically. “See?” She pointed to cauliflower with so much confidence it teased a laugh out of me.

“Interesting. Come on, we’ll get ingredients to make cookies. How does that sound?”

“Okay.” She shrugged her easy acceptance, and we continued through the store, stopping to pick up enough items for a few days. Slate was letting us stay with him, but I refused to rely too heavily on another man. He provided shelter which meant I would provide food and cleaning. He hadn’t come back from the clubhouse but had sent me a text this morning telling me he’d be home later. I’d seen the look on his face after we’d slept together and the ominous way he’d said we’d talk when he returned. He remembered. He remembered that one amazing night we shared six years ago. And if he remembered that, then it wouldn’t be long before he put two and two together… I had to tell him about Ash before it was too late.

I let out a long sigh, despite the guilt about all the secrets I was keeping, my face flamed hot at the memories of what we’d done yesterday He was just as good, nope he was better, than I remembered, when it came to sexy times. He was long and thick with a dirty mouth, but it was those soft touches, gentle caresses that had ultimately done me in.

“Mommy, what kind of cookies do you think Slate likes?” Thankfully, my daughter pulled my thoughts back from the gutter.

“I’m not sure but everyone likes chocolate chip cookies don’t you think?”

“I love them!” She bounced up and down near the rows of chocolate chips. “So much, Mommy.”

“You pick one and I’ll pick one,” I suggested and looked up and down the aisle, certain I felt someone’s eyes on me. And older woman smiled at Ashlyn as she walked by that wasn’t it. I must be paranoid . That was the only explanation, paranoia was getting the best of me after what I had done. That was normal, right? After you killed someone, you should feel guilty and convinced that everyone knows what you’ve done. Shouldn’t you?

“Mommy are we gonna live with Slate forever?”

Forever. That word brought me up short. After Alex started showing me who he really was, I gave up on thoughts of forever, at least I thought I had. “I don’t think so honey. He’s just letting us stay with him until things settle down and the police find Alex.”

“Do they have to?” Her black brows dipped into a vee that looked so much like Asher that I turned away briefly. “I like him a lot. He’s nice and funny and he answers all my questions.”

I couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled out of me at her admission. Alex wasn’t a father figure in any way to her, he was simply a provider. An angry, volatile provider. “You do have a lot of questions.”

She blushed adorably. “He says I’m curious and that’s a good thing.”

“He’s right.” And the fact that he was a better father to her than the man I’d chosen to marry wasn’t an irony that was lost on me. I fucked up all those years ago, not working harder to track him down to tell him about the pregnancy. I fucked up and chose wrong and now my life was a mess.

And worse, Slate was making me forget all the downsides that came with trusting a man.

My unease continued until the shopping cart was full and we made our way to the checkout lanes. I lingered before I ultimately chose the self-checkout and rushed through the process. We hurried across the parking lot, and I kept my head on a swivel, certain that someone was watching me but unable to see them, which only heightened my fear.

It’s not Alex. I knew that much but saying the words to myself didn’t lessen my fear or anxiety. By the time we arrived home—at Slate’s house—I was a mess. My hands shook as I put away the groceries and got an early start on dinner.

***

By the time Slate showed up, I had spun myself up so much that I jumped out of my skin and screamed when he laid his big hand on my shoulder. “Shit, Emma. You okay?”

My gaze darted to Ash who looked slightly worried, and then back to Slate’s questioning eyes. “I’m fine,” I said, hoping my voice didn’t betray the fact that I was anything but fine.

“Emma.” My name came out in a low growl, slightly intimidating but I wasn’t scared.

I shook my head and flicked another gaze to Ashlyn.

He understood immediately and went to the kitchen table where she sat with a coloring book. “Hey Ash, you think you can go read on the back porch so I can talk to your mom?” His voice was as gentle as his touch.

Ashlyn gave him her full attention and nodded slowly as her gaze flicked to me for confirmation.

“It’s all right,” he assured her. “I just want to talk to her about some things that aren’t meant for kid ears. Nobody is in trouble, and nobody is gonna get hurt. I promise.” He held up his big pinky finger and kept it there until Ashlyn hooked hers around it.

“Promise?”

“Absolutely, I promise.”

My little girl was hesitant but ultimately, she slid from the chair, gathered her crayons and coloring sheets and trotted through the back door where she settled on the porch swing.

“What’s wrong?” His voice was deep and commanding. Worried.

“It’s nothing, really.” I shook my head, suddenly feeling silly. “I just had this feeling all day that I was being watched. I know it’s silly and that I’m just being paranoid given everything else that’s going on, but I can’t shake the feeling.” I covered my face with both hands and sighed. “Even now I’m sure there was someone there, I just didn’t see them. I couldn’t find them which means they weren’t there. Right?”

Slate’s gaze was filled with concern, but he didn’t look at me like he thought I was being crazy. Instead of trying to reassure me, he pulled me against his chest and wrapped his big arms around me. “Emma,” he whispered and dropped a kiss on top of my head. After a few long seconds I thought his gaze would loosen but it didn’t. “Do you think they followed you home?”

“I don’t know,” I answered against his chest, inhaling his masculine scent until it wrapped around the tendrils of my memory center so I could remember it forever. “I couldn’t see anyone.”

“Anyone? Or you didn’t see anyone you recognized?” Slate pulled back and scanned my face to make sure I was okay.

“People were in the store, of course. But no one who felt like they were watching me specifically.”

“Okay.” He pulled back slowly until we no longer touched and left the kitchen, returning a moment later with a silver laptop. “Damn it smells good in here,” he groaned as if he just noticed. “What is it?”

“Moussaka,” I answered with a hint of pride as he sat down at the table and gave the laptop his attention. “What are you doing?”

“Looking for answers,” he answered without looking away from the screen. “What stores did you and Ash go to today?”

I answered in a shaky voice. “You’re not looking for them, are you?”

He looked up with a confused expression. “Of course I am. I just want to settle your mind.”

That was sweet but I wasn’t sure if confirmation would put me at ease. I turned the sauce on to simmer and faced Slate. “How does a troublemaker end up with these kinds of computer skills?”

His lips curled into a smile that was deeper at the corners, but he never looked up from the screen. “I was a little shit, but I was smart and back then I was also small, which meant when one of the local gangs needed some help with a robbery, they recruited me. Paid me with a laptop and from then on, I learned by trial and error.” His smile was almost wistful as if he could see his younger self. “I was nothing but trouble after that but mostly it was the good kind of trouble.”

“There’s a good kind of trouble?”

“I thought so. Taking money from people who wouldn’t miss it. To me it was harmless at least until the cops showed up on my doorstep.”

“No.” My eyes went wide with shock.

“Yep. Judge gave me a choice, juvenile detention or use my skills for good. I helped out for about seven years and when I was released at twenty, I headed west. Stopped here and never looked back.”

“The bright lights of the big city called to you?” It was nice to see him like this, a little bit carefree and vulnerable.

He laughed and good lord the sound was like warm honey slithering over my skin. “Hardly. The main goal was to put as many miles between me and my hometown as possible.”

“You found a home.” That was all I ever wanted but I looked for it in all the wrong places. “A home and an impressive life. I envy that.”

Slate finally looked up from the screen and stared at me. He studied me for a long time, and I started to squirm. “Don’t envy me, Emma. Now it’s your turn. All you have to do is decide what you want to build.”

Our gazes remained locked for a long moment and my heart squeezed tight. This man who I once thought was so gruff and tough, who wouldn’t want to be saddled with a kid, was everything I thought Alex would be. He was the one offering to give me a second chance at life.

A chance I wasn’t sure I deserved considering what I’d done, why I had denied him for five long years.