8. Brina

8

brINA

Dinner is amazing, and I'm happy when Axel pulls out a big fluffy blanket to throw over my legs as we sit for dinner. He's thought about everything, and I still can't believe I kissed him the way I did.

But, oh, what a kiss it was. I'm looking forward to another one. I'm not even as shy as I expected myself to be. It's easy to be around Axel. He makes my body hum, but it's all excitement and intrigue. Everything else about him is easygoing and relaxed.

"Why did you want to become an influencer?" Axel asks.

"Oh, um, I was struggling to support myself in college, and I was scrolling one night, and somebody was talking about training to become an influencer. She was doing a huge sale on teaching how to do it. It was Thanksgiving, and I had nowhere to go. I was one of the few who stayed in the dorms, and I thought, why not? I consumed the material and got to work. I always struggled with my weight."

Axel growls and mutters, "You're perfect."

I smile, but continue, "And I've never been comfortable in my own skin, and I would watch these women have these very supportive, uplifting channels, and I wanted what they had. But the only way to get there was to be accountable. So I started. I took a risk, got rolling, and after gaining a thousand followers, I quit my job and focused entirely on school and this channel. I have a business degree, so I used what I was learning and applied it to build up my social status. By the time I graduated from college, my tuition was paid in full, and I didn't need to look for a job. I had a ready-made business." I shrug my shoulders and take a bite of my linguine.

"You fucking amaze me." Axel stares at me in awe, and I blush under his gaze.

I relish the compliment but don't feel the urge to squirm. I'm comfortable and happy with him.

"You're so beautiful." He reaches over and cups my cheek like he can grab hold of my blush, and I smile .

"You know, I had to be dragged to come here to a game by my best friend."

"What's Willa's address? I need to send her the biggest bouquet of flowers in the world and thank her properly."

I roll my eyes but can't help the giddiness inside me. He has so shame or is bashful about letting me know how he desires me and I like that. I'm not used to it, and it's nice to feel lusted over.

No, not lusted over because there's more to our connection. Dare I say there could be the sparks building to love?

I shake my head and drop the notion of that idea in a hot second. It's stupid thinking. We're on a date and getting to know each other. Love like that only happens in the smutty books I can't put down.

"Why are you shaking your head?"

"Oh, no reason. It's just strange to be here. I mean, I hate hockey. It's so violent, and when I watched you get hurt, it proved my point."

"You were worried about me?"

I scoff, "Of course I was worried. You were unconscious, and then you weren't making sense. You wouldn't go to the hospital. You were singing. I mean, it was crazy."

Axel frowns. "I never want you to worry, but I won't lie and say it doesn't feel good to know you were. It's nice having somebody care."

I tip my head and reach for his hand on the table. His large, calloused hand wraps around mine, and they fit perfectly together.

"Don't you have people to care for you?"

Axel leans in and stares into my eyes. "I do now." He strokes his thumb back and forth over my hand, and a shiver races up my arm. "It's time for me to think about retiring. Fuck, who am I kidding? It's been time, but I never had a reason to. I know now it's so I could get traded here and find you."

I gasp and drop my jaw. The delight and relief that flood my system at the knowledge that he might not play hockey anymore have me in a tailspin. This shield around my heart lifts, and I can breathe easier.

Was that why I was so resistant? Going forward with him seems so much easier now.

Axel smiles, moves in closer, kisses the corner of my mouth, and licks the tip of his tongue on my bottom lip. "You like that, don't you, love? You want me all to yourself. Is that it?"

My pussy clenches, and I open my mouth as I take a fast inhale. It seems to be enough for Axel because his tongue snakes into my mouth, and he fuses our lips, and I'm lost in every sensation he evokes from me.

"Axel." I whimper his name and don't know what I'm trying to say.

"I know, love." He trails his lips along my jaw toward my neck and to this very specific spot next to my ear. I moan, and I grip my seat as my hips roll without my saying so. "You're so responsive to me. Fuck, I love it." His rough whisper sounds in my ear, and I feel myself falling at warp speed into an abyss I know nothing about.

"Axel."

"What do you need from me right now, love? I'll give it to you. I'll give you everything. You already have my heart. What else do you need? I'll make it happen."

I slam my eyes open and stare at him with wide eyes. Did he say what I thought he said?

"What?"

He smiles and resumes kissing my neck. After every kiss, nip, and lick, he says, "You. Have. My. Heart."

His tongue roams along my collarbone. He lifts his head and says, "From the moment I laid eyes on you, I've been yours."

He drops onto my mouth and kisses me with a flavor of love I've only ever read and dreamt about, but it's there and strong. It's what has made every touch and kiss from him so consuming.

It's love and snap, crackle, and pop. I feel it, too. It's what's right in the world. I've been trying to understand it from the moment I laid eyes on him, too. He just recognized the feeling first.

"I love you, Brina. Don't ask me how I know, I just know. I'm going to wait for you. Always." He tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear, cups my cheek, and kisses my forehead.

Axel sits back in his seat after he pushes his closer to mine. He pulls his plate over and resumes eating like he didn't just blow my whole world wide open.

I want to tell him how I feel, but something stops me, and he resumes our conversation as if it's just any other meal. My head is spinning for the rest of dinner.

"Love, I have another surprise." He gets a wicked grin, and I look around the arena, trying to determine the surprise. Axel stands and walks back to the door, and I'm amazed at how he can walk on the ice in his shoes. I'm sitting on a chair over a carpet, and I feel like my feet are slipping around.

Axel bends over through the doorway, and I can't help but stare at his tight ass. The jeans he's wearing cups and frames his cheeks perfectly, and I never understood the whole peach emoji thing. I mean, I get it, but how could it be attractive?

Oh boy, I'm now thinking peaches are the sexiest fruit known to man. I even lick my lips, imagining licking freshly squeezed peach juice off of Axel, which mortifies me when he turns around and catches me in my lapsed moment of fantasy. I freeze in place, and Axel's teeth are shining with his wide grin.

"That's okay, Gorgeous, don't be embarrassed. I've been checking out your luscious ass every chance I get." He winks as he comes back over.

I try to get over my embarrassment and ignore the moment, but Axel lowers the box by his seat, pulls my head back, and kisses me soundly. His tongue skates in and out of my mouth, and I begin moaning at the intense attraction that's pooling in my panties. I squirm and clench my thighs tightly together as I start to ache with need.

Axel sucks on my tongue, then licks my lips and lifts his head. "Love, you're so delicious. I won't ever get enough of you." He drops his mouth over mine again and gives me another kiss to remember .

Axel lifts his head and lets me breathe, and I'm panting and have to fan myself while Axel gets cocky and sits in his seat and opens the lid on the box. He pulls out ice skates and grins at me.

"Uh-huh. No, freaking way. Not gonna happen."

Axel lets out a loud, boisterous laugh, making me fall deeper for him. He looks genuinely happy. With a shine in his eyes, he winks at me. This is a rare glimpse of the private man, and I want it all. I don't want to share this side of him. I want to be greedy and have it for myself.

I don't know what comes over me or what makes me think it's a good idea, but Axel convinces me to skate around the rink with him. He makes me believe I'm safe with him, and I can't remember ever feeling that way. Thank God he holds me close and keeps me standing. I'm not a skater, but I couldn't pass up being in his arms the whole time. He planned it. I know he did because he seemed pretty proud of himself.

The date is the best night of my life, and I want to invite him in, but I can't seem to go there— not yet. I need to absorb the evening and process it all.

Axel smiles and seems to understand this without me having to tell him. He parts with another breathtaking kiss, making me a ball of mush. He smirks as he walks away, but he won't get on the elevator until I'm locked inside my home.

Axel's released to return to the game, but he keeps assuring me it'll be okay. His first game is an away game, which I'm a little relieved about. However, Willa and I watch it from my place, and the whole time, I'm on pins and needles trying to will him to either not play at all or to at least not get slammed into the wall, which is ridiculous because he's a freaking enforcer on the team. It's literally his job title.

I won't calm down until he calls me straight after the game to let me know he's okay.

"Love, I'm fine. It was a good game. You're my good luck charm."

My body heats up at the mention. Laughter is heard in the background, and the guys are making kissy noises. Axel grumbles.

"Fuck off."

I giggle.

"Fuck, love. Don't be giggling into my ear like that. I'm in a locker room full of disgusting, sweaty men, and I can't be having thoughts of you in my head."

I blush but can't hold back my grin. Since our date last week, we've been inseparable until he had to fly out for an away game. He never hides how badly he wants me, and I love it. It makes me feel powerful and seductive. The first for me.

He's gone for three days, and when he comes back, he has practice and then a home game. I promise him I'll go see him play, and Willa promptly sits next to me as I scan the arena and laugh at all the dolled-up women in the stands.

"I swear these women really think a player will fall madly in love with him. Uh, don't they know it only happens to special women?" Willa winks at me. "I feel sorry for them having their hopes up."

I sigh, shake my head, and stay small in my seat because people constantly look at me. My face has appeared on the jumbotron several times, and it's exhausting.

"I wish they'd leave me alone. I'm already nervous about Axel playing. What if he gets hurt again?"

Willa waves off my concern. "Girly, that man is born to play hockey and take a hit. He'll be fine. Especially now he has you to come home to."

My stomach flutters at the idea of him coming home with me, and I can't help but imagine him doing that every night. It's so fast though. Everything is so quick, but it's getting harder not to tell him I love him. Especially when he says the words every time we part, he never makes a big deal when I don't say it back. It eats at me that I can't say it.

Willa bumps into my shoulder. "Hey, what's wrong?"

The crowd goes wild as the Frostwolves make it onto the ice, and Axel skates over to where we're sitting and blows me a kiss. I smile and blow him one back. He winks at me while he goes back to the guys to get warmed up.

The crowd awes, and I shrink in on myself. It's so embarrassing to have this kind of attention. It's not like I haven't been noticed before everything with Axel, but it's a whole new level since being with him.

"Come on, what's wrong?" Willa won't let it go now that she knows something's up. She's like a dog with a bone.

I lean in closer to her so I can whisper. I don't want anybody to hear me. "Everything is perfect with Axel. He's loving, sweet, protective, and I constantly want to pinch myself and scold myself for not saying yes from the get-go."

"But… "

"But as often as he tells me he loves me, I can't seem to say it. I don't know why because I feel it. I mean, he consumes me, and every time he tells me, I say it back in my head, but the words won't pass my lips. I don't understand."

Willa gazes at me with empathy. "Girly, you rarely tell me you love me, and I tell you all the time, and we've known each other for ages. It's a lot for you because your words mean something. Your love means something. And knowing you, once you say it, means that it's all over. You're going to give yourself to Axel completely, and there will never be another man for you. It's all or nothing. It's who you are. So, of course, it's going to take you longer to say the words because you feel the need to be absolutely sure. After all, there is no possible way of going back."

I slump into my seat as her words play over in my head. She's right. I've never loved easily. I never opened up to people easily, but when I do, it's for the long haul. It took ages for me to trust Willa completely, and we had already been friends for years before I told her about my home life, even though she had an idea. How can you keep quiet about having to constantly move because of being a ward of the state?

With Axel, everything is so fast and crazy, which isn't my normal or comfortable pace, but with him, it's right.

The game begins, and I'm on the edge of my seat as I watch and pray Axel doesn't get hurt. I need to make sure he knows I love him; I can't be afraid to love him or let him love me.