4. Brina

4

brINA

"Umph." I slam my phone on the couch after I shut it off.

"Whoa, girly. What's up with you?" Willa takes a bite of her beef jerky and wanders into the living room from the kitchen.

"My phone is blasting me into annoyance. Ever since the hockey game, everyone has come out of the woodwork. Even ESPN called to do an interview. Why in the hell would they want to interview me?"

Willa smirks, shrugs, and plops herself in the overstuffed chair beside my couch.

"Gee, I wonder why. It's probably because The Ruiner went completely out of character and tried to hook up with you, and you turned him down publicly. Which was really rude, by the way. "

I sigh, sit back, and throw a pillow over my face as I groan. "Why did he have to do this to me? I mean, yes, contractually, I've gotten many more people wanting me to promote their stuff, but it's the wrong thing. I have to turn down so much and struggle with it."

All my life, I've had issues with causing waves and saying no, and the one time I give a massive no, it blows up in my face. Now I'm the face of a major hockey player's rejection.

It also doesn't help that I got a message from Axel himself two days ago, and I haven't slept well ever since. Shoot, who am I kidding? I haven't slept well since meeting the big lug, but he's not the right guy for me.

He's so aggressive, and I can't handle the harshness of his job. The man got a concussion and passed out from a game right in front of me. It's a true sign that I'd be worried about him nonstop. That's why an office guy like an accountant or a salesman is who I need to be with.

However, the thought of dating somebody like that doesn't set my stomach aflutter as it does when I merely think about Axel. He has my mind spinning. I groan into the pillow again, hoping to get it out of my system. I drop the pillow and glare at Willa as she smiles big at me.

"Just admit it. You like the guy, and you regret rejecting him. That's why you're so bitchy over the past few days."

I huff and look out the window, relieved the sun is shining today. It helps to chase my blues away.

"I'm sure if you reach out to the arena or even to his manager, you'll get in contact with him, and you can apologize and agree to go out with him, have hot, sweaty sex, get married, and make adorable huge babies because a man of that size is bound to have you popping out more than watermelons," Willa laughs.

I glare her way, even though the picture she paints is exactly what I want. I want a family, a clan of my own. I have Willa and her family, but I'm still an outsider amongst them. Even though they welcome me with open arms, it's still not the same as having my own family.

"No need."

"Huh? There is no need for what? You should track him down. I'm sure he'd be happy to hear from you. Especially after that mega-magical kiss, you were telling me about. I swear, girly, you found your soulmate, and you're letting him slip through your fingers."

Rolling my eyes, I shake my head.

Soulmates? Ha. What a load of crap? Soulmates don't exist, and wouldn't I be the first to notice if he was and not my best friend?

"No, I'm saying no need because he already reached out."

Willa sits up straight with her mouth agape. "What are you talking about?"

"Two days ago, Axel messaged me."

"And did you respond?"

"No. Why would I do that? My life is in chaos now, and I don't like it. I have no control. Leaving my place is nearly impossible."

It's true. The media has camped out at the front and back of my building. The neighbor next door has been even more unpleasant because of it, so I feel trapped.

"You're nuts, you know that. You want a relationship, and here's a man worth giving a shot to, and you're not taking it."

I sigh, fall back against the couch, and put a pillow over my head again while Willa talks a mile a minute about how I'm a chicken and need to get my head out of my ass. I tune her out as I envision Axel lying on the gurney before me, how soft his lips were and how controlling he was in the kiss. I've never been kissed with such need and passion before, and I wonder if there could be more to the kiss if he hadn't recently passed out and suffered from a concussion because things have changed.

Not just work-wise and lifestyle-wise, but there's now a marked time in my life where I have before-the-kiss and after-the-kiss. I'm struggling with everything after the kiss but can't let myself go there. I already see the future.

Hospital rooms, chronic head injuries, possible brain damage, possible death. Who wants to live their life that way? With an average guy, there's less chance of risk.

I throw the pillow down again and snap at my best friend. "Willa, cool it, okay? I'm not discussing this. I'm not going to date him. It's not worth it."

Willa frowns and puts her arms over her chest. "Oh, it's worth it. You're just too scared. I understand, I do. You're used to being on your own and not needing anybody. Well, besides me. But Girly, you can't shut yourself off from living."

I open my mouth to argue, but Willa lifts her hand to stop me.

"Now, I'm not saying you must marry this guy. I just want you to take a chance. That's all I'm asking." Willa stands and walks over to hug me. "Okay, on that note, I'm heading out. I need to get back to the store. Love you, Girly."

"Love you."

"Think about what I said," Willa says over her shoulder as she leaves.

My mind is in turmoil, so I spend the next few hours cleaning my condo from top to bottom, which isn't too much work. I'm naturally a clean freak, so it doesn't take me long to fight off all the dirt.

I make myself a light meal and turn on my phone so I can take pictures for my social media. I post a lot of healthy recipes. It's part of my platform. But before I can take a photo, I get shared with a live feed, and I drop my jaw as Axel's face comes into view. He has a bare wall behind him.

"Hey, Brina. How's it going? It's been a few days, and I'm just checking in. I'm doing great, well, as best as to be expected with a concussion and given a babysitter, but it's not all that bad. I hope you're okay. I can't stop thinking about you."

The comments are piling up at the bottom of the screen, but I turn them off because I can't take that in right now. I'm shocked by Axel doing a live feed straight to me. It's so public .

"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and I hate how worried I made you that day on the ice. Don't lie and say you weren't. I may have been knocked out and struggled with staying conscious, but I saw you worried, and I want you to know I'm good. I am taking the mandatory time off, even though I can't wait to return to the ice. I'd love it even more if you'd be in the stands wearing my name on my jersey. Hopefully, I can convince you."

I blush as if he's standing before me, telling me these things.

"Okay, I hope you have a nice night and sleep well. Talk to you soon, Beautiful." Axel winks and the feed shuts off.

I'm breathing heavily as I stare at the blank screen, and my phone blacks out because of the lack of usage.

What the hell just happened?