2. Brina

2

brINA

Earlier today, my best friend Willa decided I needed to experience a hockey game, which, don't ask me why, because I'm not interested in sports at all. I'm a lifestyle influencer for curvy women. I've been curvy my whole life, and sports is something I'm not good at. But Willa, the sports enthusiast she is, takes it upon herself to get me involved and decides hockey will be the first sport she introduces me to because it's her absolute favorite, but she's the youngest of four boys who are all pro athletes in different sports so I appreciate she doesn't drag me all across the country to one of their games.

"You're bored, aren't you?" Willa laughs. "The game hasn't even started. Shoot, the players haven't even come out yet. "

I shrug. "It's cold, these seats are uncomfortable, and how long are we here for?"

"Three, four hours max."

I groan and shake my head. "Why did I let you talk me into this?"

"Because you're my best friend, and it's not the same having you play out on your cell phone sitting next to me on the couch while I watch a game. This is better. You can sit and play on your phone while in the stadium."

"Hey, not fair. I watch a ton of games with you."

"Yeah, when it's one of my brothers playing."

"It's still watching."

"No, it's not. This is to help you appreciate the game as a whole and not as familial support."

"But why hockey? You know I can't stand it. It's way too violent, and don't even get me talking about all the concussions. Did you watch the documentary I sent to you and your family?"

"Yes, and none of us watched it."

"What? Why?"

"Because it's depressing, and my brothers are well cared for. They make sure to get checked independently on top of the team doctors. They also know the consequences of their professions, but they're happy."

I'm not satisfied. I wish they'd all quit and do normal jobs, like accountants or lawyers. I giggle at the thought of Willa's four big brothers and them squishing their massive bodies behind a desk, crunching numbers or spending tedious amounts of time on law journals.

"What's funny?" Willa asks.

"Nothing." I try to get comfortable in the seat and slide my hands together, hoping to get warm, even through my cute pink gloves. I've lived in Colorado all my life and still can never get warm enough. Growing up, I swore I'd move somewhere toasty, but I can't leave my best friend. Her family owns a major outdoor and sporting store chain all over Colorado, and she runs it with her parents like a boss. Colorado is in her blood, too.

The crowd cheers as the Frostwolves make their way onto the ice, and Willa stands and yells. Then, one massive man steps on the ice, and I'm instantly not cold anymore. Suddenly, I'm flush, and my breathing increases as I sit forward and can't take my eyes off him.

He's not the classic handsome that most women swoon over. No, he's intense, with frown lines edged deep into his forehead. His intensity calls to me, and I can't keep my eyes off him. He skates around, and Willa sits down. "It's amazing we got the Ruiner this season. I thought he was never going to leave his last team."

"Huh?"

"The Ruiner." Willa points to the guy I'm trying hard not to drool over, and my stomach flips as I think about his name. "He's a fierce enforcer that gets traded a lot, but his last team kept him on for a few seasons, and then out of the blue, a trade happened, and he showed up here, which we need. Malek has been dominating our offense, so having Axel Runowsky here might improve things."

I listen closely to what she's saying, and I don't want to, but I shift my gaze away and ask her what an enforcer does.

Willa smiles and jumps in as she animatedly describes the enforcer's position and why having a strong, fierce enforcer is essential. I frown further. He has one of the more dangerous jobs; he actually is the aggressor. I don't like that. There's more chance of him getting hurt.

I frown and sit still.

Why am I so worried about a player I've never met before?

"Oh, here's the best part." Willa laughs and cheers; I focus back on the ice, and my cheeks flame red as I spot Axel on the ice because I won't be calling him The Ruiner. He's doing some fantastic positions with his body, and my mind flashes to being beneath him and us naked while he's making those moves.

"I love it when they stretch." Willa fans herself.

Secretly, I do, too, but it makes me feel bad. Like I'm looking at them like a piece of meat. Haven't we been working on men not to objectify us, and now here we are doing it to these players? Shoot, most of them have girlfriends and wives.

Oh no, I'm fantasizing about the hot, sexy, older hockey player, and he probably has a wife and kids in the stand, and the wife has to endure the women in the crowd watching her husband.

Sadness overtakes my heart and mood, and I struggle with the sudden emotional change. The idea of him being married is far too upsetting, and I need to get over it. I've been alone for way too long.

Last year, I did a dating piece for bigger girls, and it got a lot of attention, but none of the guys worked out. One lasted about six weeks, but they never suited me. This year, I'm working on the year of me, and it's almost over, but I haven't dated or even talked to a man with romantic potential. I want to fall in love with myself since the dating wasn't working out properly. I want to ensure I know exactly what I want because I want forever love .

The men get up when the coach calls them, and Axel and another teammate talk as they look in our direction. I can't focus too much on him as Willa keeps talking about how excited she is about the game and trying to explain things to me.

Letting the fantasy of the older man go, I try to build some enthusiasm for Willa's benefit. After all, she puts up with a lot for my social media posts and channels. The least I can do is show some interest in the game.

So far, though, I'm bored as the game goes on, except for the few moments Axel comes onto the ice. He's a force to be reckoned with, and the crowd goes wild whenever he plays. This is interesting because it looks like he doesn't get much playing time, but when he does, it's a show.

I can do without a couple of women sitting in front of us and how they talk about how amazing he would be in bed. Anger pools in my gut, and I can't explain or rationalize why I'm going there. Hearing people say things like this has never bothered me before, or at least I can't recall a time when it has.

Half-time comes, and Willa and I head to the bathrooms. The line is long, as usual, but Willa finishes before me and heads back to the seats. She can't miss a second of anything. A pregnant woman is behind me, and I can't in good conscience not let her go before me. Her relieved smile says it all.

I sit down as the game starts rolling again, and I'm distracted by watching Axel and Malek play against each other. They're both intense competitors and are easily matched. The crowd goes wild over watching the two duke it out while other players handle the puck, but these two are dynamic to watch. I can't believe how involved I'm getting into the game, but there's no lying to myself. Axel is the reason for my sudden burst of enthusiasm.

Axel gets smashed into the glass right in front of me, and I jump and wince as I gape at how close he is to me. His penetrating eyes lock onto mine, and pleasure ignites me like I've never been turned on before. It's intense and wild, and I crave to reach out to him.

He tries to smile, but it's funny as he's smashed against the wall. He winks directly at me, and I flush bright red. The whole place fades away, and it's just Axel and me.

Malek whispers something in Axel's ears as he gazes at me, and Axel's demeanor completely changes. This raw, animalist anger comes over his features, and it's like he shifts into a different person before me. With great strength, he throws Malek off him, and I stand. Axel takes off his gloves and slugs Malek across the face, and mayhem ensues as Axel yells at Malek, but I can't make out the words.

It doesn't take long for the referees to get the place back in order, and Axel is escorted to the penalty box.

"Whoa, that was intense. Amazing, huh?" Willa laughs.

I frown. "No, this isn't amazing. They could've seriously gotten hurt."

Axel could've seriously gotten hurt. He looks in my direction as he sits, and I turn away.

What in the world would make him go stark-raving mad? Does he have anger issues or something?

I peek over and spot a woman talking to him from the stand. She frowns but nods.

My heart and lungs deflate.

He is married, and she's upset with him about the fight. Why am I so sad about this? He's obviously not the right person for me, and he's a famous pro hockey player.

Willa is cheering along with the crowd as they repeatedly shout, "The Ruiner." The game continues, and I'm ready to go, but there's still a lot more to be played.

I'm never coming to a hockey game again.

"Hi, excuse me. I'm Rita Wainwright, Axel Runowsky's manager. He would like you to come to a conference room after the game."

Willa's eyes widen as I stare at the woman I caught him talking to, and my heart jumps. I'm happy to know he's not married to her, even though she's stunning, and I wonder why he's not.

Willa wiggles in her seat.

"Um, why?" I ask.

Willa's head swivels toward mine, and Rita blinks at me like I've got a screw loose in the head.

"Well, he wants to meet you."

"Oh." I look back over, and he's already out of the penalty box, skating back to the bench, and his coach is yelling at him. It's like he doesn't care as he's looking at me.

I tell Rita. "Thank you, but no thank you. I'm leaving right after the game."

Rita and Willa blink rapidly as they try to comprehend what I'm saying.

"You don't want to meet The Ruiner?"

"Girl, are you freaking nuts? Go and meet him and take me with you."

I shake my head. I won't let them bully me or try to convince me to do so when it's not a good idea.

There was a spark when we locked eyes —I won't deny that— but I don't want anything to do with this world or his aggressive, fighting attitude.

"I'm good but thank you."

Rita blinks a couple more times, frowns, and slowly stands up as she cocks her head and studies me like I'm a new strange species. She takes off, and Willa smacks my arm.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You could've met him."

I ignore her because she's not getting it, and I don't want to have to explain myself to her.

For the rest of the game, I don't look at him, and I don't watch much of it either. I don't want to see him angry at me.

Then suddenly, the crowd buzzes again, but not for the game, when Willa smacks me on the arm again.

"Ow, stop hitting me." Okay, it doesn't hurt, but it's more effective when you tell somebody to stop.

"Look." She points up to the jumbotron, and I glance up. My jaw drops as I see myself with a message below my face.

GO OUT WITH ME in flashing letters, then it turns to a video of Axel with his eyebrow lifted and his head cocked. He mouths, please.

I shake as the crowd is all watching me, and the women in front of me gasp as they turn around and eye me up and down slowly.

Willa nudges me. "Answer him."

I turn back to the Jumbotron and look down at him. His teammates are watching him like he's somebody they don't know. The announcer breaks in.

"Well, miss, will you take on the Ruiner?"

Overwhelmed, nervous, excited, afraid, and a little angry for being so public, I go with my initial response as my mind shuts down and I can't think.

I shake my head and say no.

Axel's shoulders drop, and he goes back onto the ice, where Malek and he face each other once again. I wonder if I just made a stupid mistake, as the crowd is a lot rowdier than it was moments before. And I get booed while women keep glaring at me.

I sink into the seat further and want to get out of here.