31. Emily

31

EMILY

I had barely sucked in a lungful of air before Cohen was prying my mouth open and shoving himself down to the back of my throat. I gagged and sputtered, clawing at his thighs as my brain screamed at me to breathe while my nostrils flared with each inhale. Panic was taking over, insisting I was suffocating even though I knew I wasn't. My flight-or-flight instinct in overdrive as he used my mouth like his own personal fuck toy.

The thing was… Cohen needed it rough. He always needed it rough. He'd hold himself back, fuck me slow and soft, wait until I got mine. And then it was like something inside him snapped, and he'd use my body, whatever hole caught his eye how ever he saw fit. As he fed those darker impulses of his, the ones he seemed to hide from the rest of the world. Almost like I wasn't human. I didn't exist. Like my throat was nothing more than a means to an end. That end being a hefty dose of cum chipmunking my cheeks and dripping down my chin while I heaved in a breath and tried to swallow.

I knew how fucked-up it was. How toxic. I also knew it wasn't good for me. But neither were those chocolate muffins and the knowing did little to help tamp down the craving.

I couldn't deny the familiarity of it either. The comfort I found in the way he treated me. Cared for my well-being, only to completely disregard it on a whim. Some part of me thought this was what I deserved, because growing up, that's what I was told. I was unwanted, unworthy of even the slightest dignity. And I had yet to break the cycle.

But that was tomorrow's problem. Right now, I needed to focus on breathing through my nose. On sucking in air the moment Cohen pulled back while hoping it would sustain me when he drove back in again. I couldn't even say the entire experience was unpleasant. It wasn't. Especially when he would tug on my hair and angle my head back, my spine arching off in the bed in a painful yet pleasure-inducing way. My thighs drenched with my own release and my nipples peaked with the chill of the air.

My clit was throbbing, begging to be touched as his balls slapped against my jaw in rhythm with his frantic thrusts. He was close. I could tell by his pacing, the frequency and depth of his grunts. And just when I thought he was going to come, his cock pulsing against my cracked lips, he pulled back and released himself on my face.

I blinked my lashes, my eyes burning and my skin tacky as Cohen traced his fingers across my cheek before bringing the pads to my lips. He seemed mesmerized by the sight of my face smeared with his cum. Like I was both the most beautiful and grotesque thing he'd ever seen.

He shoved his hand inside my mouth, as far as it would go, and threw his head back on a groan when I gagged and nearly tossed up my dinner. He pulled away again, dropping his palm to my throat before he leaned forward and captured my lips in a searing kiss. Slowly guiding me back down to the bed and straddling my hips.

This was different. I didn't know what it was. Just that it was more tender somehow. Almost as if he were worshiping my body, caressing every part of me and committing it to memory. I couldn't tell you what changed. What shifted between us in this moment. But something did.

Because this was for him as much as it was for me this time.

He flicked his tongue against mine, tasting himself on me as he edged his half-hard cock against my entrance. Rubbing back and forth until my arousal was coating his tip and he was almost fully erect. Then he nudged forward, never breaking the kiss as he slowly rocked us both over that ledge again.

He didn't stop, not when I felt his cum dripping down my thighs before seeping into the bedsheets. Not when my nerve endings were so overstimulated I had to cover my nipples. Not even when my body gave out and my consciousness was waning.

Truth was I couldn't tell you when he finally dropped onto my chest and fell asleep on top of me. Only that, that was how I found him when my eyes fluttered open again the next morning. And the damp spot on the mattress reminded me of how epically we'd fucked up.