27. Second Choice

27

Second Choice

Ivy

Wait. Did he just say Sofia ? As in, the-girl-who-broke-his-heart Sofia?

Standing in Zane’s yard is a tall brunette with a pretty red coat that matches her scarlet lips. Her large brown eyes are brimming with emotion. “Sorry for just showing up,” she says, biting her bottom lip in a sexy way I instantly hate. “I just missed you so much. I think we made a mistake, ending things.”

He doesn’t answer, probably too stunned to process her words. He just looks at her, and I despise everything I see in his eyes. A mix of shock, pain, anger. Longing? He was about to ask her to marry him, after all. She wasn’t just some casual girlfriend. Of course he still has feelings for her.

“No,” Zane says through gritted teeth, his eyes tainted by pain. “You made a mistake. You left me, remember?” His arms fall to his sides in a swoosh.

She closes her eyes for a second. “I know, and I regret it. I love you, Zane. I never stopped loving you. Maybe we can fix it?”

He shakes his head. “I—no. I’ve moved on,” he says, shifting his gaze to me.

Sofia seems to only just now realize that I’m here. I give her a weak smile. Looks like Happy is over now. Awkward is the new star of the show.

She covers her face with her hands, then shakes her head. “Oh, gosh. I am so sorry. I didn’t—of course you have. You know what, I should just go,” she says before hurrying away.

“No,” I blurt out. “I should go.” My heart constricts as the words leave my mouth, but I know it’s the right thing to do .

“What?” Zane turns to me, a mixed expression of pain and surprise contorting his face. “Ivy,” he whispers, coming closer. “There’s nothing between Sofia and me.”

I press my lips together, swallowing hard. “You two should at least talk and figure this out.”

He shakes his head vigorously. “There is nothing to figure out.”

“Of course there is.” I let out a sigh. “You were in love, she broke your heart, and now she’s back.”

“It doesn’t matter. It’s too late for that,” he says, grabbing my hand. “Ivy, why are you crying?”

I didn’t even realize that tears were rolling down my cheeks. My skin must be so used to feeling them by now, I don’t even notice them anymore. I dry them with the back of my hand, then flash him a big smile. “I’m fine. What we had was great, but it wasn’t meant to last, Zane. We always knew that. We had our happy day, but we can’t change the fact that I have to leave. Wanting it to be different won’t change anything. Don’t risk your chance at real love for some vacation fling.”

My entire body aches, and I feel like the oxygen has been sucked from my lungs. But I had to say it. I saw that look. The look that says it might not be totally over for them. The same one I would have seen in Dan’s eyes if we’d run into his ex while we were together .

Zane’s gaze falls.

“You and I have no future together,” I continue, because apparently, I’m a masochist like that. “We have totally different lives. We live in different states. We’re not going to make it, but you and Sofia might have a shot. She’s back, and if you can forgive her, you’ll be happy again.” I drop my hand.

“Ivy . . .”

“Thanks for giving me the best vacation ever.” I hug him one last time, mentally bottling his pine scent and relegating it to memory.

As I walk away, I feel like I have ski boots on. Each step hurts more than the next. I hate that it ended like this, but somehow, I knew in my heart that it would. How could this ever be more than a fling? I’ll never give my heart to a man who’s not yet over his ex. Been there, done that. And I really don’t recommend it.

When I finally reach my hotel, my face is drenched with tears. Why does this always happen to me? Why am I always someone’s second choice? Why can’t things ever go my way?

As soon as I drag myself to my room, I open the airline app. I think it’s time for me to go home.

Zane

I want to call after Ivy, scream even. But I let her go, because I know that deep down, she’s right. I just wanted to live this fantasy a little longer. Happy was good while it lasted. Now, it’s just sadness and emptiness.

“Why are you here?” I ask Sofia, who’s still standing in the middle of the yard.

“Like I said.” She takes a shy step forward. “I missed you. Leaving was a mistake, I realize that now. I know what we had was real.”

My heart pinches in my chest. “You left me after spending a year together. You left, Sofia . . .” Just when I was about to propose, I’m tempted to add.

“Well, I regret it. It was so dumb to leave you just because I wanted to live somewhere else. It doesn’t matter where you live. It’s the people around you that make your life a happy one. I’d like to give us a chance. I could move back here, and we can—”

“It’s too late,” I snap. Which is the truth. If she’d come back a few weeks ago, I would have probably given her that second chance, but things are different now. Everything changed. Even if Ivy doesn’t want to be with me, it doesn’t change the fact that I no longer want to be with Sofia. If there’s one thing being with Ivy made me realize, it’s how easy dating the right person can be. No feeling like she’s not enjoying herself or listening to her always comparing the small town with the big city. Sofia and I didn’t really have much in common.

Her eyes water. “It doesn’t have to be too late. We can make this work. I know we can.”

“No, we can’t, Sofia,” I say, spinning on my heel.

“Please, let me explain, apologize . . . We can figure things out.”

I whip back around. “There is nothing to figure out. I’m sorry, but I don’t love you anymore. Please go.”

That’s when it hits me. I’m in love with Ivy. What we had wasn’t just a fling, like she suggested. The way we connected was deeper. My feelings are deeper. But it turns out, it wasn’t the same for her. There wasn’t an ounce of hesitation when she decided to leave, or when she claimed I had a shot at happiness with Sofia. Which I don’t. Looks like I don’t deserve the happy thing.

Overwhelmed by my emotions, I drag my feet inside the barn, not bothering to cast one last look at Sofia .

I work the rest of the day, trying to take my mind off Ivy, but it doesn’t work. It’s as if her face, her smile, her laugh are etched into my brain with permanent ink.

“Hey,” Daisy says as she enters the barn, the loud creaking of the door following her.

I mumble a response. The last thing I need is my sister getting on my nerves right now.

“So, that was tense earlier.” She lets out a nervous chuckle.

I stop shoveling hay. “You saw that?”

Her face twists into a grimace. “I did, but I wanted to give you some time to cool off. Are you okay now?”

“Still not cooled off.” I return to the task at hand.

“For what it’s worth, I think Ivy’s full of crap.” She glances at the ground. “No pun intended.”

My lips twitch, but it’s not quite a smile.

“She’s totally into you, just like you’re into her.” Daisy’s words burn through my chest to my heart, and I want to bask in them as much as I want to shovel them away.

“Nope. You didn’t read her right,” I say, shoveling harder than necessary, grime splashing my pants.

“Of course I did. I saw the way she looked at you—at the New Year’s Eve party and this morning. This was not just a fling for her, Zane. I can guarantee you that much.”

I snicker. “What? Are you a mind reader now? ”

She gives me a pointed look. “We girls, we know things. We’re able to see beneath the surface, and I’m telling you, this was more.”

I groan. “You know, it’d be nice if you could share that magic decoder of yours.”

She taps her chest. “Girls’ honor. We can’t. But you have to talk to her. Just tell her how you feel, and she’ll open up.”

I stop shoveling, staring down at the floor. “Are you sure about that?”

“Positive. Besides, what do you have to lose? Just give her time to breathe, and talk to her tomorrow. It’s her last day, right?”

I scratch my head. “Yeah. She’s leaving the day after tomorrow. We have our last lesson at ten.”

“There you go.”

I let out a small breath. Guess I’ll just rack my brain all day and night to decide how I’m going to tell her that we have to give us a shot. “Thanks, Daisy.”

She gives a dramatic bow. “At your service.”

“What about you? How long until you fly back to Chicago?”

“Ready to kick me out, are you?” She pouts. “And after I just gave you such amazing advice? No loyalty. ”

I roll my eyes. “Oh, come on. I’m not kicking you out. You’ve always been such a drama queen. It’s just a question, since we’re talking about relationships and all that.”

She shrugs, twirling the ends of her hair around a finger. “I don’t miss Todd anymore, and I know I’m doing the right thing. I’ll just move in with Lucy. Hopefully, the city is big enough that we won’t have to cross paths ever again.”

“I’m proud of you for looking after yourself and making that decision. It’s not easy.” My heart gains another crack at the thought of my little sister suffering through all that heartache, most of it alone. I wish I could barricade her in Winter Heights so I can protect her, but just like I hate to be cooped up inside, Daisy is made for city life.

“It was pretty tough, but I reached a point where it was either that or my sanity, so . . .”

“You really have grown up. Who knew?” I try to give her a side hug, but she pushes me away.

“Ew. No, you’re all splashed in dog poo.”

I shake my head. “Just when I was about to say I might actually miss you.”

She sticks out her tongue just like she used to when she was twelve. “You’ll totally miss me.”

“Nope,” I say, going back to shoveling.

“Yeah you will.”

I roll my eyes. “Okay, maybe a little. ”

“Good. Because I’ll miss you lots.” Wrapping her arms around my waist, she hugs me tight.

“What about dog—”

“Shh. You’re ruining the moment. Just enjoy it.”

And I do, because I really need a hug right now. Even if she did give me hope with Ivy, that was way too many emotions in such a short period of time. And, okay. Also because I love my little sister, and I’m really going to miss her when she leaves.

I barely slept last night, but I’m not tired. I’ve rehearsed over a million times what I’ll say to Ivy when I see her. In the end, I decide to just be blunt and ask her where she stands. I’ve always been a straight shooter, and if there was ever a time for that approach to make sense, it’s now. At least that way, there is no room for double meanings, and we can figure things out from there. If there is anything to figure out.

As much as I would love Daisy to be right, I don’t trust her love sensor—or whatever she calls it—one hundred percent. There’s always a margin for error. Meaning there’s still the possibility that Ivy doesn’t want this. That it was just a little rebound fling after her failed almost-marriage. After all, she was quick to leave me in the hands of Sofia yesterday. No, let’s not go there. Happy thoughts.

I stop at the shack to grab the equipment and print out her end-of-the-week diploma. It doesn’t mean anything, of course. It’s just something Darwin likes to give his clients after their lessons. A little souvenir to bring home with them.

I put it into a sleeve, tuck it in my coat, and walk to the meeting point, my anxiety building by the minute. It’s a beautiful morning, and I’m glad we’ll at least have one last fun day together. I think she might even be ready to go to the highest point on the mountain.

From where I’m standing, I can see her hotel’s front entrance, and every time the sliding doors open, my heart leaps. But once again, it’s not Ivy. It’s never Ivy . The hope of seeing her emerge from the hotel diminishes with every minute I wait, until it’s completely crushed.

Picking up the equipment, I march toward the hotel, determination burning inside me. She can’t just ghost me like that. I’m her teacher, after all. Plus, I have this very important diploma to give to her. And we need to talk. Maybe it was dumb of me to assume she’d show up for the lesson. Maybe she already said her goodbyes yesterday. Well, I didn’t .

“Hi,” I say to the receptionist when I reach the lobby. “Would you mind calling room 528 for me, please? Ivy Clark.”

“Of course.” She picks up her phone, types something on her keyboard, then frowns. “I’m sorry, but Ms. Clark left this morning.”

“Oh, that’s fine. I’ll just wait here, or maybe I’ll find her in town. It’s not that big.”

I’ll go into every store on this street or wait in front of the hotel all day if I have to.

The receptionist shakes her head. “No, I mean Ms. Clark checked out. Are you Mr. Harden? She left some clothes for you.”

And just like that, it’s like I’ve been hit in the chest by a snow shovel. “She’s gone?” I breathe out.

“I’m afraid so.” She takes a box from the shelf labeled “laundry” and hands it to me. “There you go. She had it cleaned for you.”

I mumble a thank you, grabbing Daisy’s clothes and fleeing the lobby. Ivy’s gone. She just left . Didn’t even say goodbye. Why do the women in my life just up and leave me? Am I not enough for them? My entire world darkens, and I’m having a hard time breathing as I exit the building. Outside, everyone is happy and bright, and I suddenly wish an avalanche would just cover them all so I could be alone.

Daisy was wrong. As it turns out, Ivy didn’t want anything more to do with me. She came here to heal her broken heart, but instead, she just passed it on to me.