8. Cyrus

8

CYRUS

I t was difficult for me to admit, but I enjoyed my time with Nico on our first date. I was disappointed when he left so quickly, but he understood how my body worked better than many others I’d been with, even some other orcs. And what he didn’t know, he was willing to learn about. I almost hated to let him go so quickly, but he would never be the man I was looking for. For me, sex wasn’t everything and for Nico, it was all he cared about when it came to dating an orc.

It was with this sentiment in mind that I walked into the library as soon as it opened the morning after my dalliance with Nico and approached the front desk.

“Hello?” I said gruffly, tapping the bell on the counter.

It rang out louder than I had hoped and I cleared my throat while I waited, trying in vain to rid myself of the low, ugly tone I was cursed with every morning.

“One moment!” the Librarian called from the back room. They emerged with a cup of tea in one hand and a biscuit in the other. “My apologies, I haven’t had time to eat breakfast yet and I’m running a bit behind. Oh, Professor Cartwright, it’s you. What brings you to the library on this fine morning?”

“Failed love, I’m afraid.” I offered a sad smile and the Librarian nodded in understanding.

“I did tell that silly boy that he might not find what he was looking for through my services. He insisted upon trying them anyway, though now I wonder if I only did both of you a disservice.”

“Don’t worry about it. I don’t mind searching again, even if it takes another year or,“ I sighed, “two or three more years.”

“Chin up, Professor. We’ll find you the right man yet. Would you like to keep everything the same on your application?”

“Yes. Actually, maybe widen the acceptable ages a bit. I still have no interest in men much younger than myself, but I don’t think a 60-year-old would be so bad.” I gave as convincing of a smile as I could muster, but the Librarian saw right through it.

“Are you sure? I tend to discourage my clients from compromising their desires as long as they’re safe and they fit well enough into what the matchmaking service offers.”

“Yes, I’m certain.”

“All right, I shall do that for you. Anything else?”

“That’s it. Thank you for all the work you do here.”

They smiled. “It’s my pleasure. I’ll have my breakfast and then get straight to work on changing and resubmitting your application.”

I walked away from the front desk with a slightly lighter step, or as light as an orc’s step could be, to head into work with a level of optimism I hadn’t possessed since I got that first text from Nico.

Ah, Nico. I missed him a little – the doe eyes, the hair with too much product in it, the cocky smile he always seemed to have when I caught him staring at me – he wasn’t perfect, but I was unlikely to ever find perfection. And maybe I could get him to love me as much as I wished I could love him. Maybe we could make it work after all.

I stopped midway across the parking lot, glancing around for any cars that might hit me if I were in their way. The lot was still empty save for my truck, so I allowed myself to stand out there all alone and ponder my decisions up until this point.

Was Nico worth all this trouble? Quite possibly not, but he was the only speck of hope I had to find someone who enjoyed being around me, and I could make myself enjoy being around him in turn. I could do whatever it took to get some of the human warmth I so desperately craved.

A brief thought that I might regret this choice flashed through my mind, but I turned on my heel anyway and marched straight back into the library, causing the Librarian to nearly spill their tea when they saw me.

“You’re back,” they said.

“Yes, I am back, and I want to retract my application.”

They cocked their head to the side, taking another sip of tea. “Are you sure?”

“I am. I don’t know if it’s the right decision, but I’m willing to take that risk.”

“Very well. I’ll set your application aside in case you change your mind again later but, for what it’s worth, I don’t think you will regret this at all.”

“What do you – oh, never mind.” I wanted to ask more questions, but I held my tongue. I had somewhere to be and if I didn’t leave right now, I wouldn’t have time to stop by there before work.

The Librarian was right; falling in love was not something I would regret.