24. Cyrus

24

CYRUS

I had trouble sleeping every single night after my visit to the library. My dreams were filled with visions of Nico and in those dreams, he smiled and laughed, his nose crinkling and dimples appearing at the corners of his mouth. And when he wasn’t smiling, he was looking at me with eyes so adoring, I would have given anything to wake up and find him in bed next to me.

I’d never stopped loving him, not even when he told me he didn’t love me back, nor when he broke up with me and should have broken my heart. My heart was intact and as full as ever, just with no Nico to shower my love upon.

I couldn’t get what the Librarian had said out of my mind, and I wondered if Nico had gone back to the library yet as well. Had the Librarian explained things to him the way they had with me? Would it change anything if they did?

So many times, I picked up my phone to call Nico, but every time I backed out at the last minute and set it back down with the number already entered and ready to call. The fifth time I allowed myself to get that far, I grew frustrated with my inability to follow through with something so simple and tossed my phone onto the couch, where it wedged itself between the cushions.

“Dammit,” I cried, throwing my hands up in annoyance. “You’re not usually this way, Cyrus. What’s gotten into you?”

I fished the phone out of the couch and was about to put it in my pocket when I noticed that the call had gone through and Nico had already picked up on the other end. Cautiously, I put the phone to my ear.

“Hello?” Nico said, sounding a little annoyed. It must not have been the first time he’d said it.

“Hello, Nico,” I answered quickly.

“Oh, there you are. I thought maybe you butt-dialed me or something. Can orcs do that? I suppose anyone with an ass can.”

“Yes, I suppose so. I was actually just calling to see how you’re doing and I dropped my phone before you picked up. I’ve been awfully clumsy lately.”

“Yeah, I get that.” Nico laughed awkwardly. “I’ve been clumsier lately too and my boss is none too pleased. He can’t fire me, though, because no one else would ever put up with his antics.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. If you don’t want to talk right now, I would understand. I can call back later – or you could call me if you’d like. I’m always available for a quick chat.”

“No,” Nico said quickly, cutting me off from rambling on any longer. “I’ve been meaning to call you, I just haven’t found the right time, you know?”

“Better than you can ever imagine.”

He laughed again, this time clearer and more brightly. I missed that laugh.“I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. It’s hard to forget the time we spent together over those weeks together, huh?”

“Indeed it is.” I paused as another voice on Nico’s end, distant and faint, said something. It was too muffled for me to make out the words, but the voice sounded masculine and rather deep for a human. “Are you busy?” I asked.

“Um, a little bit. Maybe it would be better if I call you back later. Is that okay?”

“Of course, of course. I’m terribly sorry for bothering you.”

“It’s not a bother, really, I’m just, well, I’m on a date.”

I nearly dropped the phone, letting it slide all the way down my cheek before fixing my slackened grip and pushing it back up.

“Cyrus? Are you still there?”

I cleared my throat. “Yes, I am. A date, you said? How wonderful.” The wavering in my voice betrayed my true feelings.

“Yeah, with another orc named Throkhan. Do you know him?”

“I’m afraid not. He sounds delightful, though.”

“Well, we’ll see. I’m waiting for him to get back from the bathroom right now. I’ll call you tomorrow and let you know how it went.”

“Tomorrow morning?”

He was silent for a few seconds. “Yeah, in the morning. And if not then, in the evening when I’m off work. Speaking of which, you have a nice day off tomorrow – it’s a holiday for schools, right?”

I smiled. “That’s right. I’m surprised you remember.”

“I’m better at remembering things than you think. Oh, he’s back. I’ll talk to you later. Bye!”

He smooched at the phone and hung up before I could get a word in edgewise. Slowly, I sank down onto the couch and let my phone drop into my lap. I had to be happy for Nico however this new relationship turned out. I couldn’t give him what he wanted in the end, but perhaps this orc could. Perhaps he would even fall in love with Throkhan, whoever he was, and I would one day find myself attending a wedding between the two.

Or, more likely, it would be another fling he grew tired of after a month or two before moving on to a newer, more interesting monster. I tried my best not to let my thoughts about Nico grow bitter, but it was difficult when he could move on so easily and I was left to pick up the pieces of our shattered relationship alone.

My heart hadn’t been broken before but it was now, and it was Nico who’d stomped directly on it and shattered it into pieces without even realizing where he was stepping.