Chapter Four

Delaney

It's embarrassing to be mated to somebody like Wilder and be publicly spurned. I hear people whispering about what I just did, stewing in my stupidity from letting my temper get to me as I head back to my dorm, but whatever. It felt good to dump that giant bowl of Red 40 punch on him, and no doubt he deserved it for everything he did. But maybe there was a more mature response I could have offered. It wouldn't have been nearly as satisfying, though.

I'm barely inside my dorm before August is picking me up and pinning me to the backside of it, hiking my dress and wrapping my legs around his hips before I know what's up. "What was that about?" his deep voice asks.

Gods, why does it have to feel so good to be in his arms? As if I need a reminder, he looks down at my arm, at the new marks that appeared. I know he's been dying to ask me about it all night, but I haven't given him a chance to. I'm still too angry with him and his brother.

"You got something going on with that teacher?"

"No," I say honestly. "He's just another on the list of people that don't want me. Can you please put me down?"

He pushes his hips against me. "Does it feel like I don't want you?"

I make eye contact with Jackson, who's leaning against the wall right next to us. "It feels exactly like that," I tell August, watching this hard-hit land. That's when he drops me, because he knows I"m right. As long as he's putting his brother above me, we have nothing to talk about. Except for logistics relating to us working together.

"We need to know who you're involved with so we know how better to keep you safe," Jackson offers.

"You want the master list of everybody I'm involved with? Because there's not a soul on it. Thank you for reminding me of all the ways I've been rejected lately. Truly, I appreciate it." They both sigh as I storm off, uncaring how stupid and petty I sound.

Some of the punch got on me when I went all psycho bitch, so I unzip my dress I put on for nobody, showing off what August and Jackson can't have as I walk into my room. A quick shower takes care of the slight stickiness, then I throw on some comfy pajama pants and a shirt before going back to my private little balcony.

It's weird, but the stone gargoyle still feels a bit warm. For some reason though, I can't get comfortable in his lap tonight. I shift my hips and legs around, trying to figure out how I was sitting in it before, but I can't replicate it. There seems to be ridges in places I forgot existed, so I sit sideways instead, leaning my head against the rocky chest of the figure who's keeping watch over the Academy.

"You missed quite the party tonight, still man," I tell him. "There were fire eaters, waltzes, a chocolate fountain, men vying for my hand…" I sigh and look up at the stars, feeling alone as usual. "Just kidding. It pretty much sucked. Adam was busy with Cory, and a few guys tried to talk to me, but only because they knew I was a conduit and wanted to see if I offered my ‘services.' Like a gods damned whore. Flattering that they think I'm that in demand, but it was clear pretty quick they were sent over on a dare.

"Well there were these two guys who were alright. Maybe I made some friends, I don't know. They seem super into each other, so I know they only talked to me to rile up Professor Wilder, but it was kind of fun, I guess. You should have seen the look on his face when I dumped punch all over him." I laugh, finally losing it. Still slightly trembling from tonight, the anxiety and everything else melts away so I'm finally laughing at what I just did.

"Pretty stupid, huh? Dumping disgustingly red punch all over a teacher the weekend before classes start? Watch him try and fail me now just to get back at me."

I sit in silence then, listening to the faint echoes of the party as it starts to wind down in the distance, cataloging August and Jackson moving around our new dorm, turning my head to see if I can make out the owl nearby that's calling. "I could be home right now in a familiar bed, hiding from my problems. Instead I'm here, with about a thousand more. Now I'm not good at math," I tell the gargoyle, "but it seems to me things aren't quite in my favor."

When I start to nod off, I know it's time to get inside, so I climb off the stone lap and step back onto my balcony, my heart beating a little too quick at how far below the ground is as I make the move.

I almost walk right by August, because he"s lying on my bed in a white shirt, completely blending in with the bedding. "Please Delaney, can we talk?"

I climb onto the end of the bed, trying to keep my distance, but the way he looks at me and opens his arms has me crawling right into them. And I fit there so well. I get under the blankets and he wedges my head right in that warm spot between his neck and shoulder, pushing a thick thigh between mine, making all my problems instantly disappear for just a moment in time. "Thank you," he exhales.

I don't say anything, because what can I even say to that? I'm enjoying this too much. I know it's going to hurt even worse when I have to peel myself away, these last few days without him have been terrible.

"Tell me about the marks," he says quietly, not shattering the stillness of the room.

"I'm finally figuring out my magic," I offer up.

"I know, my brother told me."

That makes me freeze. "What?"

"He told me everything, Delaney. How you lied to protect him, how you figured out how to fill up your magic finally, but he didn't know about this," he says, tapping my arm. "So I'm asking you. Why did these just decide to show up?"

"Don"t ask questions for answers you don't want to hear," I warn.

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know."

There"s really no point in trying to keep this to myself. It wouldn"t win me any awards to suffer in silence. "They showed up when I admitted out loud to Adam and Cory that you and Jackson were supposed to be my mates. Apparently acknowledging it out loud is the magic trick I needed, because they were there the next instant. Took a few hours to solidify, But I don't think they're going anywhere."

His finger traces them carefully, sadness pouring out of his eyes. "We didn't want to hurt you," he says quietly.

A cold bucket of water pours over me, making me sympathize with Wilder. Very briefly.

I scoot back. "That's bullshit, August. If you didn't want to hurt me, then you shouldn't have hurt me."

"He'll work through this, I promise. He's been like this forever. The second he gets happy with something, he has to give it up, because there's this hardened side of him that tells him he doesn't deserve to be happy. Doesn"t deserve to have good things."

"And do you think I'm just going to wait around for that to happen? That I'm going to sit on the sidelines, simpering over you guys while you figure out I might be worth your time and energy? I've never been that woman, August. He threw me away, and you let him. You chose him over me, so you threw me away, too. So don't tell me you didn't want to hurt me when everything you've done has been highly intentional. Please get out of my room."

"Who's the other mark for?"

"That is none of your business," I tell him. "Maybe if I ignore them long enough, I'll get lucky and yours will disappear."

He flinches, and that was pretty harsh, but I won't take it back. Because it hurts too much to be this close to him and not be able to have him in the way I need. I just want to shake him and tell him to wake the fuck up, tell him he"s choosing wrong, but I don't think this is something I can make him see. This is unfortunately a realization he has to come to on his own. And it will be too late by that point.

He starts to climb out of my bed dejectedly, pausing before he actually leaves the room. "We're still going to take care of you, no matter what." He taps the door frame with his palm before exiting, shutting me into the bedroom alone.

I have to get numb again, because I don't know how else to seem unaffected by their presence. I need to figure out how to hide my actual feelings, otherwise I'm going to be walking through school and everyone is going to read our story and heartbreak all over my face, and they're going to pity the hell out of me. They"re going to see how pathetic I really am, especially when they realize the empty bond that exists between Wilder and me.

What a shit show.