Chapter Thirteen

Delaney"s Journal

You can't hear my tone of voice right now Journal, so just imagine me singing all of this in a really annoying voice.

I have to catch you up on some shit. Last time I talked to you everything was kind of sucky, and some of it still is, but other things are better.

First, I have a bit of a stalker situation. Don't worry though, it's very much wanted. Remember that hunky gargoyle I told you about that I like to sit on? Turns out it might be alive. Well, I need to look into the gargoyle species, because I know nothing about them. The reason this one looked so weird to me, in his positioning and whatnot, is because he's able to move occasionally. I don't know if it's linked to the moon cycle, or if my proximity and attention to him is what did it, but it's definitely been shifting slightly, and even drew enough energy to catch my attention and come into my apartment while I was sleeping last week. Is that not the most romantic thing you've ever heard of?

I'm sure he's not happy that I cut myself on some of the rocks he left behind in his stead, but he wrote me a love letter of rocks on the patio that said, ‘she's mine'. And then he hit the glass and made a pretty spider web picture for me to look at. I'm telling you; I have heart eyes.

August thinks it's crazy, or whatever, but I'm flattered.

Classes are going well; I don't think I have to use a map anymore to find my way to them. I got some stink eye today from the other conduits, so I've got to work my magic there. They will befriend me. I'm delightful.

I'm still trying to process how Adam tried to ruin everything between us, and I can't stop hearing all the pretty un-take-back-able things he told Cory.

Call me a huge pushover sex addict (or don't, your call) but I'm back with August. He is a difficult man to resist when he wants something. Also, fuck did I miss his hands.

August caught me totally off guard when he rushed back to the dorm after his weekend away, and the look his eye when he told me he was in love with me, that I was the only person he'd ever feel about this way, and all this other romantic mushy stuff about how mad at himself he was for treating me the way he did, it was nearly impossible not to give in to his advances.

I might need to buy my front door some sort of apology or possibly polish it and treat it to a spa day though, because August fucked me against it so hard I'm so surprised it didn't break.

You know as I'm writing this, I'm realizing I have some sort of weird obsession with giving inanimate objects feelings. I feel like that's something I need to address.

Maybe I should have held out longer but…it is what it is. Honestly though, being with him feels right. I can tell when he kisses me or fucks me against the tile in the shower with a finger up my ass that he's a keeper.

The other thing I need to tell you, which was just like super bizarre, is that when I was finally too wrecked for any more makeup sex (okay you caught me— August was definitely the one that needed a break), I hobbled out to my kitchen only to find Jackson, Cory, Adam, and Wilder (more on him in a minute) hanging out together practicing skin care like they were best friends.

Cory gave everybody some sort of drug mask that made them all chill and tell truths they wouldn't normally, and Adam finally realized that he wants me. But how on earth am I supposed to trust that? Especially because he didn't even offer to shove anything up my ass? That's just bad manners.

Anyway, I was able to push everyone out of my room without further drama (except Jackson and August, since they live there, and how rude would it be to lock a man out of his own place after you just got done sucking the soul out of him via repetitive semen explosions?)

Anytime I try and think about any of the guys objectively, my head starts to swim, so I've just been trying to avoid all my problems and focus on August until I feel ready to do otherwise.

August fucked up too, it's true, but you have to remember he's put his brother in first place his entire life. That's like 28 years of Jackson as his best friend, his closest person to him, so for him to put me first was a pretty big thing. It turns out he was only okay with me dumping them, because he didn't actually consider us broken up, just existing in a ‘misunderstanding', and was using that time to try and convince his brother to fix things with me. But then Jackson… well we don't need to talk about that.

The point is, August realized that Jackson has to deal with his own mess, because he's done trying to manage him.

I'm scared to start stuff with my new actual mate Wilder, so we're just taking it slow. I think he wants to have me over for dinner this weekend, we'll see if I'm brave enough to not cancel.

August and I are dating now, minus the whole ‘misunderstanding' thing, and it's going well. He's sweet, attentive, and gives great head, so I'll probably keep him.

Adam's been texting me constantly and Cory's talking to me whenever I see him around campus, but I always keep our subjects pretty surface-level because I'm not ready for anything else. Cory drew a heart on my hand after class last week and I stared at it for hours trying to wonder what it meant.

Jackson's just scowling and moping about, trying to catch my eye and do nice things for me but I don't want to hear it. So that's about it. Although I will say, he made me dick shaped pancakes for breakfast yesterday, which is just about the most romantic thing that anyone has ever done for me. Aside from breaking and entering, that is.