Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

Jane

S o, this was to be my room. A small chamber off of the warlord's. The bed was spacious enough to spread out in and was loaded with pillows and blankets of different weights. The floor was stone, but covered in a thick green rug, and there were shelves on one wall with neatly stacked articles of clothing. Several pairs of shoes were lined up against the wall on the floor, and a tidy little sitting area—two soft chairs and a round table—completed my quarters. The colors were cheerful but soothing. The surfaces were rounded and soft. Ideal for a patient that nobody was certain about.

Including the patient. I ran my hands down the shapeless gray tunic and pants I wore. They were loose fitting and gentle against my skin, which was very sensitive. Urix had performed a number of procedures on me while I stayed in the infirmary for five days. He had kept them short and painless as he removed several more implants from my body. There had been one in my hip, two in my spine, and a weird one in my shoulder that had made a vibrating noise whenever I moved it, before he'd taken it out. Each thing that came out of my body made me feel a little more human, whatever that was.

I was slowly learning what that meant, and what it meant for me as a human female on this planet. I wasn't sure how I felt about the fact that I had voluntarily applied to come to this planet to have babies. That was my purpose here. Women came here to find a mate—not a husband, that was a purely Earth thing—but a mate . They were trying to rebuild their population. These enormous horned males were making babies with us.

I thought about the warlord, Siroc. I couldn't deny his appeal. Every time he had come to see me in the infirmary, I'd gotten so nervous that sometimes I could barely talk. He loomed over me and gazed at me with those dark eyes and slashing brows, set low at a harsh angle. I could never tell if he was angry with me or just paying attention really hard.

Urix had laughed when I mentioned it. "The warlord is not mad at you. That, I promise," he'd said. "He's concerned though. As you should be. You were taken from our Thrail. Any good leader would find that unacceptable."

Logically, I knew what happened to me wasn't my fault, but I felt as if I were in the center of something dangerous. I didn't like that feeling at all, and the warlord…

He was a whole different complication.

I looked in the mirror, something I had done my best to avoid in the infirmary. It had been easier there. There were few reflective surfaces, but here there was a mirror on the wall. I brought shaking fingers up to my head and ran them over my skull. I could feel the bumps from the scars and the smooth glass-like surface of the metal implants that interrupted my skin. But I could also feel the light fuzz of new hair growing.

I let out a shaky sigh and dropped my hand. Time heals all wounds . The words popped into my head and I knew they weren't mine. Someone had told me those, someone with a soft voice and a gentle hand and a smile very much like my own. I closed my eyes and wished I could wrap myself around that voice. But something told me, with a ping of sadness, that the speaker of those words was lost to me. Gone. Probably dead. But there was a glimpse, a tiny crack into a past I couldn't remember. One day at a time, I'd find a new way to live. And I would have to figure it out with the Mitran warlord by my side.

My options couldn't be worse. Return to Earth and be put in some government facility to be studied for who knows how long or stay here.

Stay here with a Mitran warlord who was not going to let me out of his sight. Obviously, I was going to stick with the second option. If I was going to be treated like I was radioactive, I'd rather do it here, where the healer and the warlord would treat me well. At least, better than those on Earth would. That was pretty sad, considering I didn't trust my own people to be decent.

And again, I'd seen myself. Now that I'd spent some time looking at myself in the mirror, and after learning what had been done to me, precautions were understandable. It was probably a good thing I couldn't remember my old face because I'd find the one staring back at me that much more unsettling.

I stood in front of that mirror way too long, looking for something that made sense. Something familiar. Even my name didn't make sense. "Jane" felt awkward and clumsy when I thought of it in relationship to me. I ran my fingers over the scars on my head. Surely I wasn't awake for any of this. More than likely, I couldn't remember anything because I'd been unconscious. I shuddered and looked away from the mirror.

Earth didn't want me back, anyway. Not in this condition. They were the ones that recommended I stay here. But what was I to do? Follow the warlord around like a puppy? Maybe.

I went to the bed and lay down on my back, looking up at the smooth gray ceiling. Lights were built into it—illuminated squares embedded in the rock. I didn't even know how to turn them off. I hadn't known quite how to eat, but I recognized the utensils Urix had given me and I knew what the foods were.

I couldn't lie. It had been a hard week. I was weak and thin. Eating was hard. Sleeping, oddly enough, was even harder.

I glanced over at the door. The warlord was on the other side, presumably. I wondered what he was doing. Maybe lying on that enormous bed of his, or doing whatever it was warlords did. I didn't know why, but I had difficulty not staring at him when I was in the same room with him. His size and power were impressive, but there was another piece, too. I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

I closed my eyes and let out a sigh, just as I heard a rap on my door. I hastily stood up. "Yes?"

The door opened and the warlord filled the space. "Jane, someone is here to see you."

I blinked. "Who?"

"She says her name is Paige," he replied. "She says she's your friend."

I raised my brows. "My friend?" It made sense that I would have some. I'd lived here for months.

I straightened the front of my tunic. "Does she know that I look like this?" I gestured vaguely to my face.

His brows went even lower, as if that were possible. "What does it matter?"

"I don't want her to be too shocked. I look very different than I used to."

"I don't see why your changed appearance would have an impact on what she thinks of you," he said impatiently. "Appearances change. The person remains. If she's shocked, she'll get over it."

I pulled in a deep breath and took in the bafflement in his voice. "You're right," I said. "That's true. Okay." I blew out a gusty breath and straightened my shoulders. "Can you let her in?"

He nodded curtly, then moved to the door, but before opening it, he turned back to me. "There is nothing wrong with the way you look, Jane. A few scars and a lack of hair cannot negate your beauty."

I stared up at him, my mouth slightly open, feeling like the air had been sucked out of my body. Beauty? No. Even without much of a frame of reference, I knew I was not beautiful. Not like this, and I wasn't anything out of the ordinary before.

"Oh. Okay." That was the best I could come up with as a response. Arguing with the warlord over whether I was attractive or not was unthinkable. And he was looking a little uncomfortable himself. He shifted on his feet and nodded again. "I will tell her you will see her."

Surely, he was just being kind when he called me beautiful. That's all it was. I shook my head and collected myself just before the door opened again and a young woman entered. She looked younger than me—not that I was a great judge of that in my current state—but was taller and very beautiful. Her wide mouth pulled up in a smile that lit up her face, and twinkling brown eyes brightened in pleasure at the sight of me. "Jane!" She came forward, arms outstretched. I froze, not knowing exactly what she wanted, but then she put her arms around me and squeezed me close against her.

Ah. A hug. I tentatively closed my arms around her back, trying to force my body to relax. This was a familiar gesture. I had hugged and been hugged before. When she pulled back, I smiled at her. "Hello, Paige."

She waved a hand. "I know you don't remember me. Pal-Siroc said you lost your memory. He would not let me visit you when you were in the infirmary, but now you're here. He can't stop me." She winked, then her expression turned serious. "We were so worried about you. I was worried about you. Honestly, girl, we thought you'd died."

I gestured for her to sit in one of the chairs and she did. I took the other one. "I feel like I kind of did."

"And you really have no idea what happened?"

I shook my head. "I don't know if I want to know." I curled my toes, trying not to act too desperate for answers. "We were good friends?"

She smiled sadly. "Very good friends. We met on the transport from Earth to here and when we learned we were going to the same Thrail, we just hit it off. We coached each other through our romantic misadventures here." She rolled her eyes. "We had a few."

"We did?" I leaned forward. "Can you tell me about them? Can you tell me about you ?"

"Well, let's see. I'm from Canada and you said you're from all over the United States. We'd both been through some terrible relationships in the past, but we really wanted families so we signed up for this program on Mitra to see how it went. They're not hard on the eyes, after all, and we can leave at any time if it doesn't work out, and I think we both really wanted love and an adventure."

"Got a little bit more than an adventure," I murmured.

She reached out and patted my arm. "Yeah you did. But we're going to get you through this."

"Did we meet anyone?"

Paige smiled wide. "We did. I met Yarat, and we were both courted by a number of Mitrans, but after some serious drama and uncertainty, I knew Yarat was the one for me. As for you…" She winced. "You were very interested in a Mitran named Cigra, but then one day you broke it off. Never told me why. I'm not sure you even told him why."

"Oh." I rubbed my hands on my thighs, thinking that over. "Was it serious between us?"

She shrugged. "It was, for a while. You seemed as smitten as he was."

"I wonder what happened," I said to myself.

"I thought maybe you got scared off by the size of his…" She pointed to her crotch. "You know."

"His penis?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah. That. Mitran guys are, um, bigger than humans. They can be a little intimidating at first."

"Well, they're bigger all over," I mused. "It's not surprising that would be bigger too."

She laughed. "So true. You're just as funny as you were before."

"I was funny?"

"Oh yeah. Dry sense of humor. You still have it."

I touched my head. "Glad I didn't lose everything."

She took my hand off my scalp and squeezed it. "Hey. Hair grows. Everything heals. You're going to be okay. All the women from our old housing quadrant are thrilled to hear that you're back."

Housing quadrant. I shook my head. "Wish I could remember something."

"Give yourself time," said Paige. "I bet things will come back."

"Does, ah…" What was his name? "Cigra still talk about me?"

She shook her head. "We don't see much of him these days. He works deep in the mines. You made it very clear that it was over and that was a while before you disappeared."

"It's just as well," I said. "It's bad enough that the warlord won't let me out of his sight. Two males constantly around would be stressful."

"Yeah. About that." She leaned back and crossed her arms. "What is going on with the warlord? It's very unusual that he put you in his chambers. Everyone is talking about it."

I waved a hand. "He says it's for safety, but I think he's afraid I was programmed to do something destructive. Until they know who abducted me, the warlord wants me monitored at all times."

"By him," said Paige with her brows raised.

I sighed. "By him."

"Well, that is cozy." She looked around the room. "He certainly went to a lot of trouble to make you comfortable. That's your bedding from your old chambers. And these are your chairs."

"Really?" I ran my hand over the soft fabric. "What about the clothes?"

Paige glanced at the shelves of folded garments. "I think those are new," she said, circling her hand in front of me. "You're skinnier than you were."

"I know. I was malnourished," I said. "It took me a few days to learn to eat food again."

"It's more than your weight, though." She tilted her head and looked me over. "If you can believe it, you're taller than you were and your bone structure is a little different."

"Different how?" A shiver went over my skin.

"You were kind of petite. Small and delicate, and you had a fuller figure, yes, but I'm looking at you now and your bones look bigger. Whatever they did to you, they actually grew your skeleton." She shook her head. "Wow."

I wanted to fold up and tuck myself into the cushions of the chair. This was a lot to take in. And it made what I'd gone through that much more monstrous. It made me feel more freakish. "Siroc didn't mention that part."

"Well, he probably didn't want to make you worry any more than you already were. But it's not a bad thing. It's just a thing."

My eyes burned and I couldn't meet her gaze. "Thanks. It's just so many things."

"Yeah, but you're back now." She leaned forward, resting her forearms on her knees and forcing me to look at her. "And we're still friends. I'm here whenever you need me." She glanced towards the door. "And I have a feeling that guy is too."

There was a hint of innuendo in her voice. "What do you mean?"

She shrugged one shoulder and leaned back in her seat again, eyeing me. "He's very protective of you. I had to answer one million questions before he would let me enter his room." She flashed a grin. "Let's just say I think he could've assigned a guard to watch you. The fact that he's doing it himself means something."

"Yeah, it means he's worried that I am a walking time bomb."

"Maybe," she said. "Or maybe it means that he cares about you."

I didn't get a chance to reply because the door opened without a knock, and Siroc stood there glowering at us. "The visit is over," he announced.

"But—" I began.

He held up a hand. "We have been summoned to the Elders' chamber." He inclined his head to Paige. "You may visit another time."

Paige inclined her head back at him. "Yes, Pal-Siroc," she said, then turned back to me with a wink. "I'll see you later." She left with another small bow, and I remained in the room with the warlord.

"That was abrupt," I said.

"You may converse with your friend later. But now…" He flicked his fingers. "We must go."

"What is this about?" I looked up at him warily. Something in his tone and the stiffness in his shoulders made me worry that the Elders' chamber wasn't a place he wanted to go.

"The Elders wish to question you." He looked down at me with a scowl. "Don't worry. I won't leave you alone with them."