Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Jane

W aking up is one thing. Your conscious mind takes over from the unconscious and thoughts happen. Life happens. Consciousness crept in, waking up my senses, but this was not a normal awakening. Feeling came to my fingers and toes, as if introducing my body to my mind. My thoughts weren't thoughts , exactly. They were abstract things. It was me meeting myself.

No, it was not an awakening. It was a birth.

There were voices around me. Male voices, deep and authoritative. They sounded incomprehensible at first, but the more I listened, the more I could understand. I knew their language. I lay on my back, tired and heavy and fighting the urge to go back to sleep. My eyes were still closed. I couldn't quite conjure the will and energy to open them, but I could listen to what these two were saying. Maybe I could learn something.

"I took out everything I could," said one of them. "I'm running analysis on the components. If I can find a species of origin for the implants, we have a place to start."

"Good," said a deeper, harsher voice with a growl to it. "I sent a message to the warlords at the other Thrails. As I thought, no other Thrail has experienced this."

"Hopefully we'll have some answers soon."

The one with the growly voice let out a noise of annoyance. "When will she wake up, anyway? Can't you speed this along, Healer?"

"No," said the first male— the healer . He clearly had more patience. "Look at her. This female has experienced enough trauma. She'll wake up on her own time."

Trauma? Were they talking about me?

"Look," said the growly voice. "She's frowning."

"That's a good sign," said the healer. His voice was closer. "If you can hear us, move something. Or try opening your eyes."

I guess there was no avoiding it. My mind was like an empty thing. A stretch of smoothness. Something had happened to me, but I didn't know what, and I'd have to find out. With an inward sigh, I opened my eyes just a little. The world outside of my mind was dim. Not harsh and bright. Blue light glowed softly from the white ceiling. The two males who had been speaking leaned over me.

They were large and very, very male. One wore a light gray jumpsuit that covered him from neck to, well, as far down as I could see, which was his waist. The other had more going on. He wore black, with silver insignias on the deep cut of his neckline. They were large and ornate. I didn't know what they signified, but I didn't need them to see that this was someone of importance. Someone in charge.

Both males had prominent horns growing from the sides of their head. Did I have horns? Were these my people? I tried to raise my hand to my head, but my movements were jerky and uncoordinated. I didn't have control over my limbs, yet.

The male dressed all in gray, the one who was called a healer, smiled. "Welcome back, Jane. We are glad to see you returned to us."

None of that made sense to me. I blinked up at him, frowning. "Who?"

The doctor placed his hand on his chest. "Of course. I am High Healer Urix. This is our warlord, Pal-Siroc."

Okay, that was helpful, but what I had intended to ask was who was Jane? My head spun at the confusion. He had looked at me and said, Welcome back, Jane . That would indicate that I was Jane. But why couldn't I remember being Jane?

I was struggling to make my mouth form words. It was as if there was a disconnect between my thoughts and the ability to give a voice to them. Like some interference that made my tongue want to form different sounds than what I wanted to say. My gaze moved to the warlord, whose intense dark gaze did not waver from mine. It was easy to just stare at him. He was almost dazzling, with dark red skin and those horns…they curved outward like a steer's and were very large.

Everything about him radiated intensity. His brows were dark slashes held low over black eyes. His lips were full, but firm, and set in a grim line. Both males had that dark red skin, but the warlord looked as though he had been in a few battles. A scar ran through his eyebrow and disappeared up into his hairline. He was bigger than the healer, with muscles that pressed and strained against his snug black tunic. He was hard to look away from. Intimidating, terrifying, and enthralling.

"Who…ees Jane?" My words were slurred and warped as I struggled to form them. I felt as though it was the first time I had ever spoken, but something told me it was not. Something told me that I was missing something. Perhaps a lot of somethings.

"You are Jane Miller," the warlord said. "That is your name. You are twenty-seven years old and you arrived on Mitra eleven standard galactic months ago."

I blinked up at him. The name Jane meant nothing to me. Nothing sparked a memory that made me say, "Oh, right. I remember now." Nothing. Panic began to rise, a pinch of worry that quickly grew.

The healer, Urix, moved into my vision and frowned. "Do you know where you are, Jane?"

"No." I looked from one male to the other. "Should I?"

They exchanged a look before gazing back down at me. "Do you know what species we are?"

I shook my head slightly, forcing my neck muscles to work.

The healer turned to a digital screen that was just out of my view, beside where I lay. "She has memory loss," he said, more to the warlord than to me.

The warlord's gaze became sharper. "Do you remember what happened to you?" he asked me. "You were abducted. Do you know by whom?"

I was abducted? Fresh panic swept through me. "N-no. Am I…okay?"

"Her pulse is spiking," said the healer.

The warlord's large hand reached out and patted my shoulder. It was so awkward that it actually reassured me. This enormous male was just as unsure as I was, as anyone would be in this position. "You are okay," he said in that low, gruff voice. "You are safe now."

"What is the last thing you do remember?" Urix asked. "It can be anything. No pressure. Just something you recall from before today."

Looking back was no easy task. My head instantly started to ache as I searched for a memory. Something concrete to give to this smiling male who wasn't asking for that much. A few flashes came like still images. Were they my memories? "There was a blue sky." My voice was stronger. Words formed more easily, with a familiar, comfortable flow. "A white car going fast. Music. I think… I was a child." I looked at the healer intently. "But I'm an adult, now?"

His dark eyes softened. "Yes. You are twenty-seven, which is an adult. Cars are from Earth and that's where that memory came from. See? Not so hard."

"Do you recall coming to Mitra?" asked the warlord. "You're speaking our language right now. It's a requirement of anyone who came from Earth to join our society."

"I left my home planet?"

He nodded. "You're on Mitra. Urix and I are Mitran males, and you are human, from the planet Earth. You voluntarily joined a program designed to help Mitran males on this planet find their mates and rebuild our population."

"I did?" This was so much to take in. Overwhelmingly so. I did this? I signed up to be a—

"It was one hundred percent voluntary," said the warlord. "No one forced you."

"I…" Wow, I didn't even know what to say or how to react. "How do I know you're telling the truth? Maybe you're tricking me."

"No tricks," said the healer in a soothing voice. "Would you like me to tell you what we know about you? I have a file right here."

I swallowed hard. At least I was getting my voice back. It didn't feel like I had to work so hard to make my words comprehensible. "Yes," I replied. "Please tell me." I took a deep breath, trying to brace myself for whatever was coming. It probably wouldn't be good.

"Very well. As previously mentioned, your name is Jane Miller. This is you." The healer turned a handheld screen towards me. It was an image of a young woman. She had long, dark blond hair and a rounded face with dimples in her cheeks. She was smiling in the picture. Her eye color was between blue and green and there was something guarded about her eyes. Something haunted and so tense, it made my chest tighten. I had to remind myself that this was me , because she looked so unfamiliar. I wondered if the feelings I got from looking at this picture were a clue as to how she— I —got here. "This is what I look like?"

"Not at the moment, no," said the healer in a most gentle voice.

"What happened to me?" I lifted my arms, and although they felt heavy and clumsy, I was able to bring my hands to my face. There was a face there, thankfully. I felt a nose, lips, eyes. My head gave me chills, though. I felt a smooth cheek until I encountered buckles and puckers of what had to be scarring. I lowered my hands with a whimper. " What happened to me?" I asked again in a broken whisper.

"We're trying to figure that out," said the warlord. "We were hoping you would remember something."

"You were abducted from caves here in Thrail Praxan six months ago and declared dead. Whoever took you made it appear that you had been attacked and killed by one of the creatures that share the cave system with us. That was not true. Whoever took you did some experimenting. You have implants throughout your body. I removed some—as many as I could without impacting the functioning of your body. There are some you're going to have to live with, I'm sorry to say."

"Like what?"

"Some of your functions have been enhanced. We're not sure why or to what extent. I did stimulate your body's hair follicles, so your hair should start growing back shortly." The healer flashed a wide smile. "That's a good thing. Your body is taking in nutrients, so soon, you'll look much more like you did in that photograph."

My hair… I could remember the feeling of it in my fingers. Long strands that I sometimes twirled around my finger. Yes . I'd had long hair. I hung onto that like a lifeline. "Can I see myself now?"

The warlord frowned, but the healer kept his face passive. "Are you certain? You look different from the image I showed you. You may be surprised."

"Let me see," I said.

"Very well." He tapped something on the handheld screen, then turned it back to me.

Here, I was faced with my own reflection. The person staring back at me looked nothing like the woman smiling for all she was worth in the picture. The face looking back at me in the mirrored screen was thin. There were no dimples. My bones were prominent. My eyes were sunken and confused. My skin was a sickly pale shade of gray. My head had scars, showing where someone had cut me open and done things to my brain. It was nauseating to think about. My stomach clenched. I turned my head in the screen and caught a glimpse of a shining plate of silver above my right ear. It stretched about a finger's length towards the back of my skull and was flush to my skin. I touched it, finding it warm. "What is this?"

"One of the implants I could not remove," replied the healer. "There is another one on the back of your head and there was one right here." He indicated my left cheekbone. "That one looked as though it had initially been a housing to replace your eye. Instead, they added enhancements. You probably have better vision than anyone in this Thrail."

I didn't care about that. I handed the screen back to the healer and took a fortifying breath. "Thank you. That was…surprising."

"Your body has been deprived of important nutrients, and likely sleep, for a long time. Once all of these things are corrected, there's no reason to think that you won't look very similar to the way you used to."

I nodded. My gaze stuck to my hands, clenched on top of the sheet. "The people who did this to me…they're not going to come back for me, are they?"

The warlord had been quiet through this, watching me closely. Now, his nostrils flared and he straightened to his full, very impressive height. "Whoever took you will never touch you again. I promise you that."

"There is no reason to think they'll return," added the healer. "We don't yet know how you turned up at the East Tri-link Gate, but if you were brought back, perhaps that would indicate that whatever work they were doing on you was completed."

"They…dumped me here?"

"We don't know if you were left here or escaped," the warlord said. "There were no footprints, but the snow can be deceiving. Your abductors went to the trouble of putting you in a protective membrane suit, so you were not killed by the freezing temperatures."

"That's thoughtful," I muttered.

"It indicates that they intended for you to live."

"Why?" I looked down at my pale skeletal hands. "After all this, what difference did it make? I was just a science experiment."

"We will find out." The warlord's words sounded final and more than a little chilling. "Until we know more, you will be under my personal protection."

"For now, you'll stay in the infirmary," said the healer, sending a sharp look towards the warlord. "The only thing you need to do is rest and get healthier."

I didn't like the expression on Pal-Siroc's face. His eyes were narrowed. "I'm not… Am I in trouble?"

"No," said the warlord shortly. "You are a victim. We want you to recover, and hopefully, remember who took you so justice can be served."

"And now, I suggest you get back to the work of resting. You need more sleep before we begin to reintroduce food."

Ugh . Just the word "food" made my stomach tighten again. I knew what it was, of course. I knew what all the words meant and what things were, but for some reason, I couldn't find anything related to me among those words. What were my favorite foods? What was I like?

I hoped one day I'd know. But that conversation did tire me. My eyes grew heavy and my thoughts became fuzzy.

"This should help," murmured the healer. I felt something cool slide through the veins of my left arm, where a slender tube disappeared into my skin.

"What did you…?" But I couldn't even finish before sleep overtook me. As I slipped away, one single image flitted through my mind—I remembered being someplace cold and dark. Someplace where I felt an overwhelming fear that made my entire being recoil in absolute dread.

I pushed the image away with a shudder and let sleep take me. Maybe it would be better if I didn't remember what happened to me. Maybe getting those memories back would send me into madness.