45. Epilogue 2 - Four Years Later

Chapter forty-five

Epilogue 2 - Four Years Later

Jaxcen - Part 1

W ith my hand over my heart, I study the security monitor watching Devon as he stands looking dapper in his light grey suit on the balcony just off our living area.

He’s waiting, and my heart flutters with excitement as I hear the cutest little voices flow through on the speaker.

“Come on, Harry. Daddy’s waiting to see us.”

Izzy’s sweet voice elicits adored sighs from my bridesmaids Presley, Marilda, and Allegra, as they watch beside me.

“In you go.” I hear Devon’s sister Jen urge off screen, before the two little heads of my children appear, Izzy’s hair in a long cascade of dark curls, while Harry’s shorter blonde curls are a little more tamed today thanks to Devon’s sisters working their magic with product and telling Harry it was magic lotion to help him grow so he can be just like his daddy.

“Daddy!” Harry calls as he sees Devon standing by the railing, and as Devon turns for his first look at his two children ready for our wedding, I see him stagger back a little, and I know he feels it too.

Floored.

This life. These kids. How lucky are we?

So damn lucky .

All we need is each other. Nothing else matters.

“Buddy, look at you.” Devon coos, dropping to one knee as Harry’s little three year-old legs move quickly before he leaps into his daddy’s arms and Devon stands holding his son.

“Oh lord. I think I just got pregnant,” Presley says, and Marilda and Allegra giggle.

“Don’t you look smart in your suit?” Devon remarks and Harry nods.

“Just like you, Daddy.”

Devon beams. “Little man, you look better than me.”

Proud of that fact, Harry wriggles to get down, and the moment his feet hit the deck, he does the most ridiculous dance that brings out a deep rumble of laughter from Devon.

“Girl, you’re totally getting knocked up tonight.” Allegra giggles, and I glance at her quickly to see her brows wagging. “The way you are eye fucking your husband-to-be right now should be illegal.”

I giggle back, not even bothering to deny that Devon and I will likely not come up for air after today until he’s satisfied that I’m bearing his third child.

He’s wanted another for a while, but I begged him to hold off so we could enjoy Isabelle and Harry for a bit, and so I could get into shape to fit into my dream wedding dress, of course.

Devon agreed, but I know as soon as we hit the sheets tonight, all bets are off. I’ll be his cumdumpster once again, and I’m not even a little mad about it.

“Daddy, do you like my dress?” Izzy’s voice draws my eyes back to the screen to see her walking towards him, her pale pink dress like a little Cinderella gown, just the way she wanted.

She stops and does a twirl in the centre of the balcony as Devon falls quiet.

He nods quickly, before spinning to face away from our four year old daughter, and I can see the side of his face, and the way he brushes away a tear .

“Oh my god, that’s it. I’m now pregnant with twins.” Presley groans and we all laugh.

Turning back to face his daughter, Devon holds his hand out to her as Harry continues to dance off to the side in his own little world.

Rushing forward, Izzy takes his hand, smiling up at him as he lowers to one knee again.

“My beautiful Isabelle. You look like the most beautiful princess of all the lands.”

She beams.

“Thank you, Daddy, but you are wrong.”

“Oh?” Devon asks while she nods.

“Mummy is the most beautiful princess of all the lands.”

“Nawwww,” my bridesmaids coo as my eyes turn glassy.

Don’t cry. Don’t ruin your makeup before you’ve even walked down the aisle, Jaxcen.

“Oh I bet she is,” Devon agrees. “But Mummy is about to become the queen, which means you are the princess of all princesses.”

Izzy nods, like she’s accepting that responsibility with pride. “Until I have a little sister, and then we will share being the most beautiful princesses of the land.”

Devon cups her little cheek. “You have your mother’s heart. So big. So sweet.”

“Are you going to cry, Daddy?” she asks, and damn it, there goes a tear from my eye.

I hear sniffing next to me, and Marilda swipes at her eyes. “Crap.”

I smile and wrap her in a hug as we continue watching the screen.

“Today, I just might, princess.” Devon admits, not too masculine to show his feelings.

“That’s okay, Daddy. I have tissues. My dress has pockets.”

Laughing, he pulls her in for a hug, and she squeezes her little arms around his neck the way she does to me when she thinks I need an Izzy hug.

Devon’ s sister Jen comes onto the screen then, ushering my children out and ordering Devon to get his arse to the altar, so I drag my gaze from the screen to face my sister.

“Have I ruined my makeup?”

“No. It’s still perfect.” She smiles.

My attempt to catch the tears must have worked.

“Are you sure you’re okay about our parents not being here?” Presley asks, her eyes kind as she stares at me.

I nod. “They aren’t my parents, Pres. You know this. Nothing about the way they raised us was parental as far as I’m concerned. All I need is you.”

The words are bitter on my tongue, because even though part of me means them, there’s still a part of me that wishes things were different. That wishes they were here today to celebrate with us. To accept the life I’ve chosen and simply be proud.

But they are who they are, and there’s nothing I can do to change them.

Presley smiles, believing my lie, and we hug as Allegra fusses with my train, before Marilda claps her hands to gain our attention.

“Places ladies. Let’s get you married, Jax.”

My heart flutters and it’s almost too overwhelming to feel this much love and happiness after the childhood I experienced. Sometimes I find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like I’ll wake up one day and find everything that made me happy gone. Like it was all just a dream.

But that day hasn’t come yet, so I will keep embracing each and every second I get with my family, and hopefully one day, I’ll find myself wondering when the last time was that I wondered when it would all vanish.

Walking from my house, we make our way to the town square, and the cliff front that I got engaged at over four years ago, our presence hidden by tall partitions on the grass, lined with white sheer fabric and twinkling lights, so the guests can’t see us yet .

“Everyone is seated and ready.” Allegra beams after peaking around the partition. “Are you ready?”

Am I?

Yes. I nod easily, smiling at the three women I chose as my bridesmaids, and Jenaveve, Devon’s sister as she approaches us with my two beautiful children.

“I have two very eager children here ready to walk their mummy down the aisle.”

Two big smiles beam up at me from my children’s faces and I hold my hands out.

“Let’s get married then.” I giggle as Izzy jumps in excitement and Harry hurries to my side taking my hand.

I decided to forgo holding a bouquet of flowers. They just seem unimportant compared to the need to hold my two children’s little hands in mine as they walk me down the aisle to their daddy.

A piano starts playing, the tune Devon chose for me to walk down the aisle to. I wasn’t sure what it would be. He wanted to keep it a surprise, but as the tune hits my ears, I become aware of what it is.

One by one, my bridesmaids start their walk down the red carpet laid out for the event.

Allegra goes first, and then Marilda, while Presley stands waiting for her turn, her eyes already tearing up as she takes one last glance at me.

“Love you, sis,” she whispers, and I kiss the air before she starts walking.

Taking some long deep breaths in, I try to keep my tears at bay. I don’t want to be a sobbing mess as I walk to Devon. I want to see everything. Everyone.

I especially want to see my soon to be husband’s face as I approach, and I want to lock that memory away to cherish over all of my days.

The moment Taylor and Alice begin humming, I know it’s time, and I move onto the red carpet, looking down towards Devon whose back is to me .

“Every time our eyes meet,” Taylor starts singing the opening line to Amazed, and I start walking as Devon turns.

He is a hard man. A scary man. A devil many fear. Yet right now, the moment his eyes land on me, walking towards him with his children, his strong facade breaks.

He looks up at the sky briefly, Finn offering him comfort with a hand on his back as he blows out a breath, his dark gaze returning to us as we walk closer.

I need my own moment, looking away from him and glancing down at our beautiful children, my eyes meeting Harry’s mischievous smirks, much like his father’s, before moving to Izzy’s, her eyes warm and she gives my hand a little squeeze like she is silently telling me she’s here for me.

Gosh, how can a four year old be my little rock?

Now a few metres from Dev, I return my eyes to his, to find his smile wide and his gaze glassy, pride written all over his expression.

I know how he feels. This life we have built together is everything.

That’s the moment Harry breaks away from me, closing the distance to run to his daddy, who picks him up immediately, pressing a kiss to his cheek as they both watch me and Izzy as we reach them.

“Hey, beautiful,” Devon says softly as I stand before him, my smile wide as I respond.

“Hey.”

Devon - Part 2

The music fades out, and another rush of excitement bursts through me as Izzy takes my hand and places it in Jaxcen’s.

How can a four year old be so in tune with what’s happening?

That kid is smarter than I thought possible. She never misses a beat, and today is no exception.

“Here Mummy and Daddy. It’s time for you to get married.”

Jaxcen’s smile is warm as she leans over and places a kiss on Izzy’s cheek, who beams and reaches out for Harry’s hand and I lower him to the ground.

Jen and Elise are nearby, holding their hands out for their niece and nephew who happily go to them, finally allowing me and Jax to face each other and drink each other in fully.

I thought seeing my children all dressed up would be my weak moment, but nothing prepared me for seeing my wife-to-be, wearing an intricately beaded ivory gown with the sun shining overhead, lighting up the gold in her hair as she walked down the aisle, accompanied by our children.

“You’re the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen,” I say, not caring who can hear.

Leaning forward, her hand presses to my chest as she stands on tip toes to reach my ear.

“The devil has never looked more handsome.”

I chuckle quietly as she shifts back into place, and the celebrant begins the service.

I’ll be honest. I don’t listen to most of it. I’m too taken by the sight in front of me. By the woman that came into my life on a stormy December night in a church nearly five years ago, and even though I stole her from her life, she’s the one that stole me. Stole my heart.

We say our vows, having chosen more traditional ones, not really thinking our guests would appreciate the ones we’ll likely share during our confession rituals we still do to this very day.

We say our ‘I do’s’ and then I finally get to kiss her, before completing the formality of signing the forms and what not.

The service turns into a party not long after, something my little town does so well, and given we have a large number of extra visitors, mainly Marx family members, the partying goes well into the next morning.

I, however, leave my family and friends to it, leading Jaxcen away to the Palace, passing the suite we used to share before Izzy came into the world.

We usually keep it for guests these days, but since we need a night off from the kids, thanks to Jen and Elise staying in our house, I’m about to give Jaxcen her wedding gift while we can be alone to enjoy it.

“I thought we were going to the suite.” Jaxcen giggles as I usher her up the steep stairs into the attic.

“We’ll go there later. First, I have a surprise for you.”

She grins wickedly over her shoulder at me before we reach the top, and her eyes widen at the transformed attic space.

“Is this what I think it is?”

When those blue excited eyes dart to me, I nod.

“It is, little mouse.”

“You turned the attic into a sex dungeon?”

“Not a sex dungeon,” I chuckle. “A sex attic.”

“Same thing.” She counters, although she is smiling, her eyes wide with fascination.

“Using the chapel was getting a little…” I trail off, remembering how Izzy had come looking for us when she had a bad dream last month. It was one in the morning. We hadn’t expected her to wake up, and she knows we spend time in the chapel, although thankfully, she’s never asked us what we do in there. We were lucky the doors were locked.

“The chapel is dangerous,” Jaxcen agrees. “So regular babysitters then?” she asks, smirking over her shoulder at me as she runs a finger over the St Andrew’s Cross in the centre of the room.

“Absolutely,” I agree, and she spins to face me.

“So Mr Marx. You kidnap me, possess me, turn me into your sex slave, knock me up, twice, marry me, and now lure me into your sex attic. What are you going to do with me now?”

Slowly undoing my shirt, I move to the wall of tools and instruments, and study the array of floggers, whips, cuffs, ropes and various other tools I can use on my little mouse.

Shucking off my shirt, I select a braided leather whip and turn back to face Jaxcen as I slap it against my palm.

“I think we’ll start with making that fine arse of yours nice and red.”

She nods, a very willing participant these days, our kink games having evolved quite a lot since the first night I made her confess to me on her knees. We have upped the intensity of our sessions together over the years, so she’s not at all shocked by what she sees.

Making quick work of her wedding dress, she drapes it over a chair and stands before me completely naked, not bothering with any fabric barriers, and that’s how I know she’s already primed for me.

“Give me a level?” I ask, and her cheeks heat as she considers it.

She’s normally faster at choosing what sort of session we will have. I leave it up to her to decide how severe she wants it. When she’s pregnant, I refuse to do anything but mild BDSM, but outside of that she mostly chooses moderate, only selecting severe a couple of times when she was struggling with those demons that sometimes creep in, making her feel guilt and shame.

“Jax?” I urge, and the moment her gaze drops to the floor, I already know what she’s going to say.

“Severe.”

I’ve never questioned her need for me to actually deliver her real punishments before, but right now, I’m confused as fuck, because today is our wedding day. She should be happy. Celebrating. Not wracked with shame.

“But—”

Her eyes, brewing with a storm I’m not privy to, glare at me. “Severe.” She repeats and all I can do is stare at her for a moment.

“Please,” she asks quietly, and even though I’m confused, I know I’ll find out through this session what’s plaguing her so much that she wants to be punished on her wedding night.

“Bend over the bench.” I point to the padded bench that has links for restraints on it. I won’t use that now, but I can’t fucking wait to give everything in here a thorough test run eventually.

Doing as I ask, Jaxcen goes to the bench, bending over its A-frame so her arse is up in the air, and I move up behind her and tap my feet to the insides of her ankles.

“Wider.”

She shifts her stance wider, holding on to a bar near her hair as it dangles down, and I take the nearby lube and gloss up her arsehole, before hunting down a nice big plug, and lathering it up too.

When I part her cheeks and press it to her puckered rose, she relaxes, opening her tight hole to me, and I slip the plug inside.

“Oh,” she moans and I chuckle.

“Yeah, you know what’s coming, don’t you?”

She wriggles a little over the bench, like the idea of me fucking her arse is turning her on.

She’s become accustomed to my cock in that part of her, especially during the time of the month she could be ovulating over the past few years since she wanted to hold off on having more children until after we were married, and since I need to fuck her daily, during those days, her puckered rose is all mine.

“I do know what’s coming,” she admits. “But I thought you’d want to save all your cum for… well, you know.”

I chuckle. I do know.

“I never said I was going to cum in your arse, little mouse. Just fuck it.”

My words make her squirm, and she gets impatient.

“Oh, come on. Just looking at you all day has been edging me,” she moans, so I give her what she wants, and strike the whip.

“Are you begging already?” I snap, and she squeaks, and wriggles her arse some more.

“Yes, I am. I’m aching for you.”

Slap.

Another squeak.

“Begin,” I demand, and she does.

“My devil. I bestow upon you my darkest sins, and ask that you bathe in my debauchery.”

Her words are rushed, her desperation already present, but tonight, I won’t let her rush this. She’ll get her pleasure soon enough, just as long as I find out why she wants this punishment to be severe.

“Divulge your sins, little mouse. Tell me everything bad you’ve done.”

I repeat the words I have so many times since that night in the chapel, our little ritual already making my cock hard.

“Lust,” she begins, using the seven deadly sins as she does every time now, like she revels in disobeying those religious rules that were drummed into her head. “I’ve had excessive sexual thoughts today. I’m so horny for the devil. I ache for him to fill me with his cum. I want every last drop he can give me, in every hole, a thousand times over. I want to drown in his seed.”

“Fuck,” I snap, whipping her bare arse again and this time she moans.

Since I’m going easy on her for now, she’s using her words to tease me, using my obsession with giving her my cum to get me riled up to fuck her.

“Gluttony,” she pants. “I went back for thirds at today’s wedding dinner. I took an extra bread roll,” she breathes, stopping for a moment before she tries to push me again. “ And I considered slipping the chocolate covered strawberries inside me so you could eat them out of me tonight.”

Slap.

Another moan.

“Continue.” I bark, my cock as solid as stone now.

“Greed,” she moans, already squirming for more. “Last night, I ordered the Double Dipper I showed you online even though you told me I don’t need it. Because even though I don’t need it, I want to feel it inside me.”

SLAP!

A scream.

My cock weeps, and I know that lashing gave her the bite of pain she’s clearly trying to get me to give her by admitting to buying the sex toy I told her not to get.

“You’d better tell me when it arrives,” I hiss, recalling the two pronged device she wanted to try out after I mentioned I’d considered buying it to edge her. Now, she’s going to fucking regret going against me and buying it anyway.

“Yes, devil. I’ll tell you as soon as it arrives,” she pants, arching her arse up higher like she’s hungry for some friction.

“Continue.” I remind her, and she does.

“Sloth,” she whispers, and I can tell she’s fighting how aroused she is right now, because there’s something she wants to get off her chest, but clearly couldn’t do it outside of this session. “I pretended I was asleep this morning so you had to get up to do the kids’ breakfast so I didn’t have to, and when you were busy, I threw my birth control out.”

I growl, whipping her harder than I’d like to as she nearly makes me snap, knowing too well my desire to fill her with more babies has been a constant for the last eighteen months.

Fuck. She’s desperate for the pain.

Her scream is loud and long, and I rub my hand over the red raised skin on her arse as I force her legs wider with my feet.

She’s panting, and probably wondering if she should use the safe word, because I’ve never whipped her that hard before, which naturally makes me feel like shit, even though it’s what she asked for.

“Wrath!” she yells, sounding really pissed now, and I undo my pants and slip out of them as I wait for her to speak.

I want to be ready for her, because it’s only going to get worse for her before it gets better, and she knows it.

“I want to take that whip and slap your face with it,” she snaps, and I smirk, aiming for her other arse cheek this time as I whip her hard.

“Ouch, fuck me, Devon. One day you’re gonna wake up tied to something and I’m gonna see how much you like it.”

Frowning, I move to the other side of the bench and lower to my haunches, brushing back her hair to see her teary eyes.

“Little mouse, say the word.”

“No.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want this to stop.”

I frown at her admission.

“This here or the whole thing? Because you know we can take a break and move on to something else.”

“I want to finish my confession,” she whispers.

“I’ll put the whip away. I can use something else.”

“No,” she grabs my wrist as I go to stand, keeping me in place on my haunches. “I can take it. I need it. Please.”

I stare at her in disbelief. I know she can take it, but what I don’t understand is why she wants to.

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing. Please finish. I need to finish.”

“Fuck,” I hiss, fisting my hand into her hair and angling her head to me even though she’s still in an awkward upside down position. “I fucking love you, Jax.”

“I love you too, Dev.” She smiles at me. “Please let’s finish this and then, I want all of your cum. I want you to make me forget my name.”

Sighing, I nod, and reluctantly stand.

There’s a reason she wants me to finish this, and since I know her so fucking well, I know I’ll find out what it is in her last confession, so I can’t end it prematurely.

Jaxcen - Part 3

The whip comes down hard on my arse again, and hot tears fill my eyes as I get punished for my envy. I cry out, letting myself feel the pain, because I need it.

We used to celebrate the sins differently in the beginning, but after some time of settling into life here, I still had so many unresolved issues relating to my upbringing, that I asked Devon to punish me for my sins instead on occasion, and we came up with a level system.

At first, he was against it, but I told him how much I needed to feel that pain, that it was a way for me to release it. Not to mention, Devon likes to punish, so in my eyes it was a win win.

But today, our wedding day, although so beautiful and wonderful getting to share it with our son and daughter, something was missing, and I just admitted to Devon that I was envious of him, because he had more than one family member sitting on his side of the aisle.

“Jaxcen,” he barks, clearly angry, and I know he’s trying to reel it in since we make a point not to bring our disagreements into this part of our life. “They may not have your blood, but my family is your family. You know that.”

“Yes, devil,” I whimper, trying to remind him we are in a scene .

Emotions are high right now for both of us, but instead of letting him say anything more about it, I continue.

“Pride.”

My voice is loud, not a yell but close to it, so I can finally admit what has bothered me so much about today.

“You asked me this morning, last night, last week, and last month, and my sister even asked me before the wedding today, if I was really alright with my parents not being here.”

Devon rubs his palm over my arse, right where I know he will hit, probably harder than before, but I need it. I just really need it.

“I said I was okay. I said they weren’t parents to me. I pretended that they didn’t matter, because my pride wouldn’t let me admit that I really just wanted them here, and I still want their acceptance, even after everything they have done to me.”

I brace myself, already crying, waiting, waiting, waiting.

“Do it!” I scream, and the whip scorches my arse as it slices over my flesh, a piercing scream ripping from me.

Before the sound has even finished leaving my lips, Devon has me up off the bench and curled into his chest as he sits with me on the lounge near the window.

“Fuck, Jax,” he whispers into my hair, peppering kisses to it as I cry. I hate that I brought that in here. My parents don’t belong in this room, but the moment after we were married and we turned to face everyone, I realised I wanted to see their faces. I wanted to see their pride and acceptance, but the truth is, it would never have happened. They haven’t spoken to me since the day Dr Xavier took me from Presley’s apartment. They only speak to Presley if she calls them, and I feel like that’s my fault.

I’ve already come to terms that I’ll always deal with their ghosts. I’d been doing fine too, but getting married brought up memories of little girl Jaxcen, before everything went wrong, who used to play dress up and dream about her wedding day when her parents would look lovingly at her .

At some point today, that little girl turned up in my subconscious and wouldn’t go away.

Until now.

“I’m sorry,” I breathe into Devon’s neck. “Can we redo this? I feel like I’ve fucked it all up.”

I hate that I let that part of me get in the way of our happy day. Devon’s parents weren’t here either, but you don’t see him punishing himself over it.

We both have fucked up parents. The difference between them was that Devon’s used their fists to punish, while mine used other people to deliver my punishments so they wouldn’t have to.

Forcing my head back with a gentle fist in my hair, Devon stares into my eyes.

“Nope. There’s no redo's, and we do that because you need it, and obviously today was hard. I’m sorry I didn’t notice.”

I shake my head. “Dev. I didn’t let anyone see until now.”

“I’ve always got your back, little mouse.”

“I know. That’s why I can do this now with you. Only with you.”

“I hate that you want to be punished like that.” He admits. “I’m sorry for hurting you.”

Shifting in his lap, I straddle him, running my fingers through his hair.

“You didn’t hurt me, Dev. You helped me. I feel free of that burden now.”

He studies me for a moment and then nods.

“Get on the Cross. I’ve got so much cum for you, I’m about to burst.”

I smile at him, knowing he’s probably not joking, so I do as my husband says.