15. Jaxcen

Chapter fifteen

Jaxcen

T he rap of knuckles on the door tells me it’s not Devon, but it sounds too hard to be Mabel, who was here not too long ago with a tray of food I haven’t touched.

I don’t bother going to the door. I can’t open it. Devon locked me in, and Mabel did the same after delivering me my dinner.

When a key in the lock sounds, I stiffen, sitting up taller on the sofa, trying to ready myself for whatever is about to be thrown at me now, but when the kind eyes of the hulking man, Finn, appear, I relax.

“Expecting someone else?” he smirks.

“Only a monster.” I shrug and he chuckles.

“Speaking of, he’s requested your presence.”

My presence, like he’s a damn king and I’m his not so humble servant.

“You can tell his highness, that if he wants to see me, he knows where I am, since he locked me in here.”

Finn’s smile falls, and a hard expression takes its place.

“I’ll rephrase that, since you must have misunderstood.” He steps in, his glare hella scary, and for the first time, this man doesn’t seem so friendly. “Let’s go, Miss Summers.”

Huffing, I stand, straightening my dress and feeling somewhat better than I did earlier when Devon made me walk around his town pantiless.

“Where are we going?” I ask, not really expecting a response, but Finn surprises me.

“To church. ”

My brows shoot up, and I walk faster, because I’m dying to see what the old chapel looks like on the inside.

Finn closes and locks the door behind me, and leads me downstairs and out into the balmy night.

A smile instantly sweeps over my face as the shops come into view, their twinkling Christmas lights starting to engulf the night as the sun sets over Timber Valley.

“Wow, I didn’t notice the lights last night,” I mutter absentmindedly as we walk up the path.

“All Christmas cheer gets turned off at the stroke of midnight.” Finn explains, and I nod, paying him no attention as I glance into the hair salon to see a nativity scene of Mary and Joseph and baby Jesus in the manger.

Huh. I hadn’t thought about it until now, but Christmas is a religious celebration. A Christian holiday that gets passed between generations. Easter too. Maybe I should point that out to the monster king, that his town is already practising religion.

A smug smirk tugs at my lips at the thought of knocking him off his high horse.

“He’s inside,” Finn mutters, dragging me out of my wicked thoughts as he stops at the foot of the path that leads to the chapel doors. “Have a lovely evening, Miss Summers.”

With a bow of his head, Finn just stands tall and waits for me to move, so I nod, a little confused about what is happening, and make my way up the path.

Pushing open the door, I glance over my shoulder to find Finn still watching, as if he’s making sure I enter and don’t try to run.

Where would I run to? Devon always catches me.

Sighing, I turn my back on him and slip inside, noting the row of candles lining each side of the narrow aisle leading all the way up to the confessional where a tall, dark, and unfortunately for my libido, handsome man stands waiting patiently with his hands clasped in front of him .

An eerie chill runs up my spine, like my body instantly recognises the danger I’m in.

That’s the devil over there, and he shifts, beckoning me with two fingers.

As if my feet have a mind of their own, I start walking towards him, through the centre of the burning wicks that line my path to hell.

If this is hell, then I’m meant to be here because never have I felt more comfortable in a church than in this moment.

You’re sick, Jaxcen. Only God can help you.

My inner voice is yelling at me, but it’s nowhere near as loud as the whisper of temptation pulling me closer and closer to the man that has the power to end me with a pull of a trigger.

Devon doesn’t speak as I stand before him, but his eyes do. They travel to my lips, before running down the column of my neck and over my clavicle. As if my breasts know, they pebble and I suck in a breath which pushes them towards him.

“Do you know why you’re here?”

His voice is so deep and gravelly as he speaks, his eyes trained on the swell of my breasts before finally coming back to lock with mine.

“No,” I whisper, too scared to try and speak at my normal volume because then he’ll hear it in my tone.

My want.

My need.

My desire.

“The last time you were in a church, you went to confess your sins to God. Tonight, you are in my house. The devil’s house. And here, we don’t confess our sins.” He reaches out, hooking a finger under my jaw and lifting it as he leans in closer. “Here, we celebrate our sins.”

My lips part in a silent gasp as he presses his to mine. It’s a soft, gentle kiss which is such a contradiction to the monster standing before me, but I don’t have time to think too much about it before he’s pulling back and gesturing to the confessional behind him.

“Step inside, little mouse, and divulge all of your sins.”

My heart flips in my chest, and for a moment, I even think it stops.

What is this?

Am I… excited?

I’ve never been excited to step inside a confessional before. Only anxious to get it over with, but now, my heart races, and anticipation digs its claws in, urging me forward.

Don’t do it, Jaxcen. This is not the path to the Lord’s forgiveness.

I still at the whisper inside my head, begging it to be louder than the scream of my temptation to take the plunge and risk it all for the rush of the unknown.

“You can do it, little mouse.” His hot breath fans across my cheek as the graze of his finger hooks my hair behind my ear. “Step inside. Divulge your deepest darkest desires and relish in the punishment the devil affords you.”

His words, so dark. So sinister, are the final shove I need to slip in past the velvet curtain and drop to my knees on the tuffet as heat flicks over my skin like tiny little sparks.

My chest rises and falls with the race of my heart, my breaths too loud, yet I can’t control them. I can’t stop them, and they only get more audible when the cover on the screen before me slides open to reveal the shadow of a man sitting on the other side, his crotch level with my eyes, his hands clasped in front, hiding the place I most desire seeing. Touching. Tasting.

A whimper escapes me at the thought, heat pooling between my legs as this utterly sinful situation makes me feel alive.

So alive.

Just like when I’m at Cloud 9.

Just like last night when Devon kissed me.

Or in his bathroom when he touched me until I came apart.

Or today, on his desk, with his head between my legs.

“I’m waiting,” he rasps, it’s gravel sending a chill down my spine.

“Bless me Father for I have sinned.”

“Uh, uh, uh,” he tuts. “You are not in the Lord’s house now, little mouse, remember? You are in the devil’s house. Repeat after me.” He shifts, and I watch as those big strong hands unclasp and shift to rest on the tops of his thighs. “My devil.”

“My devil,” I repeat, my voice husky from my arousal.

“I bestow upon you.” He continues, so I repeat.

“I bestow upon you.”

“My darkest sins.”

I clear my throat. “My darkest sins.”

“And ask that you bathe in my debauchery.”

I hesitate a moment, knowing how opposite this is from confessing and receiving penance. He wants me to confess and celebrate, and everything I’ve been taught is rushing at me from all directions, yet my eyes, locked on the way his fingers grip his thighs with impatience, has me opening my mouth, and not only saying the words, but meaning them.

“And ask that you bathe in my debauchery.”

“Now say it all together, and I might go easy on you.”

A breath escapes me at his words, and I have no idea what he means. Is he going to punish me with pleasure, or with pain?

I should be scared, right?

I’m not.

For some reason, I want to give myself over to him completely, no matter the consequences.

“My devil. I bestow upon you my darkest sins, and ask that you bathe in my debauchery.”

“Atta girl,” he rasps, and his lips kick up at the corner.

I feel utterly wicked for saying those words. Utterly sinful. They are only words, but they mean so much. So, so much.

“Divulge your sins, Jaxcen. Tell me everything bad you’ve done.”

“I’ve committed adultery.” I rush out.

“And did you like it?” he asks, his palms running up and down his thighs.

“Yes,” I admit. “Very much.”

“Did it make you feel bad, even while it made you feel good?”

“Yes.” I nod. “But…”

“But what, little mouse?”

“But I couldn’t stop.”

“So you gave in to temptation, and were rewarded with pleasure. If you had stopped, what do you think would have happened?”

I blink at his question, wracking my brain for the answer, but all I can come up with is regret.

“I would have been annoyed, I think. I would have regretted not going through with it, just to see what it would be like.”

“But you gave in. You pushed away everything you’ve been taught, to indulge in sin.” This time, I can tell he leans forward by the way his elbows come to rest on top of his knees. “Tell me, Jaxcen. Was it worth it?”

“Yes.” The word escapes me before I can stop it, and I can feel the heat in my cheeks flare to life at my admission.

“What do you think your fiancé would say about it?”

“I imagine he wouldn’t be pleased,” I admit.

“I imagine he wouldn’t,” Devon agrees, leaning back to clasp his hands in front of his lap again. “Are you going to tell him?”

I frown at that question. I hadn’t really considered that, but I probably should.

“Can I ask you a question?” I almost whisper, but he hears and responds.

“Go ahead.”

“Do you think he will still want to marry me if I tell him?” I bite my lip, anxiously waiting for his response, but all I get is another question .

“Do you want him to still want to marry you, or are you hoping the answer is no, in the hopes he will break it off with you?”

Dread thumps to the bottom of my gut at his question, and I realise it’s because I want him to dump me and leave me alone but there’s a big chance he won’t.

My lip trembles at the epiphany.

Eddie likes to control me. Not the same way Devon does. I feel like the monster on the other side of the screen challenges me more than anything, where Eddie belittles me to keep me compliant, just so he can save face.

“Jaxcen?” Devon’s deep rumble is like a fine red wine. Smooth, filling me with warmth. Comfort. Contentment.

“I don’t want to marry him,” I admit on a whisper.

“No? What do you want to do then? Go to Cloud 9 and step over the line?”

“Yes…” I shake my head. “Wait, no. I just…”

“You just what?”

My lips seal tight, and my heart aches as everything I want threatens to burst free, yet I know I can’t have them. I know my family will never approve.

“Answer me!” he booms, and a squeal flies from my lips as I jump in fright, my knees slipping off the tuffet.

“I just want to do the things I want to do and not be made to feel bad about them,” I yell back, my admission exploding from me as more tears burn my eyes, spilling over to my cheeks.

“Then why don’t you?” he asks, his hands gripping his thighs again as I reposition myself on the tuffet.

“My family won’t approve. They are very religious. I’ve already brought them so much shame. I can’t bear to put them through that again.”

“Why are you living your life to please others, little mouse? Why don’t you just do as you like and if they don’t like it, then they can look away.”

“It’s not that simple.” I sob, slapping at the tears that just keep coming.

“Why not? You only get one life. If you’re not getting fulfilment from serving others’ expectations, then why not live for your own?”

“Like you? Just shoot anyone who annoys me? Kidnap innocent people for pleasure?”

Lightning fast, Devon disappears from my line of sight before the curtain next to me is pulled back. I gasp, rearing back against the wall as his towering height looms over me.

“You seem to have forgotten that the men I shot were trying to kill us. I haven’t heard you thank me for saving your life yet.” He steps inside the confessional with me, trapping me against the wall, kneeling before him as I stare up with wide eyes, my cheeks wet with my stupid tears.

“Thank you,” I blurt, but he simply chuckles and starts to undo his belt.

“And yes, I kidnapped you, but it’s not for the reasons you think, little mouse.” He slowly slides his belt off, my gaze dancing between the action and his dark gaze piercing me. “And if you remember correctly, you’re the only one that’s received pleasure. Not me. But let’s change that.”

“What?” I’m so confused, yet so transfixed on the way he flicks the button of his jeans open, before slowly easing the zipper of his fly down.

“Just like your Christian God, the devil likes to punish as well, little mouse, just as long as someone is enjoying it.”

His tone is utterly wicked, but I no longer stare at his face, my gaze locked onto his hand slipping into his jeans and lifting his stiff dick out, followed by the heavy weight of his balls.

I gasp, unsure if I’ve seen such a large dick.

Maybe it looks so big because I’m this close to it, yet still, its size isn’t scaring me.

No, instead, my mouth fills with saliva and my panties soak through as I realise I want his punishment, in any way he’ll give it, whether it hurts me or does the opposite.

What’s wrong with me ?

“I’m going to punish you now, little mouse. I’m going to make you suck my cock until you start choking and gagging, and I’ll only stop when I’ve come down your throat. Do you understand?”

I nod, my heart flipping in my chest as heat engulfs my entire body.

“Do you know why I’m punishing you?”

I shake my head, risking a glance up at his face to see his hard expression, so fierce. So raw.

“I’m punishing you for not taking what you want out of life. I’m punishing you for letting others dictate how you live. I’m punishing you for denying what you really want for so long.” He wraps his hand around his cock which bobs before me, giving it a pump. “And I’m punishing you for eavesdropping on my shower this morning.” Releasing his dick, he takes his belt in both hands, quickly wrapping the strap behind my head as he jerks me forward. “Open.”

His demand is brutal, yet my lips part, my eyes zeroed in on his hard cock until it surges forward and I can no longer focus on its beauty, but rather feel the silky press of its tip to my lips as it slowly eases in.

“Eyes up,” he demands, and I swear my body is his puppet, doing everything he orders like it has no other choice.

And maybe it doesn’t, and I’m not even mad about it.

“You’ve got the most luscious plump lips, Jaxcen. Do you know how many times I’ve pictured them wrapped around my cock?”

I try to pull away to answer, but he holds the belt tight so I can’t retreat. “It was a rhetorical question.”

I blink rapidly, as he pushes in further, my tongue brushing over the underside of his dick, as I stretch my mouth to accommodate his girth.

“Are you a gagger, Jaxcen?” he rasps, asking another question I know he doesn’t really want the answer to. Besides, he already knows I’m not experienced. This is the first dick I’ve had in my mouth, so I guess we are about to find out.

As if on cue, I gag, and instead of letting up on the belt holding me in place, he chuckles.

“Breathe through your nose, little mouse. I’m not ready for your dinner to paint my cock just yet.”

My eyes widen at that, even as I breathe quickly through my nose, sticking my tongue out as far as it will go in the hopes that it will help.

“You can take a bit more.” He pushes in more, and again I gag, this time the action curling my whole body inward which just takes him further, making me gag again.

“Fuuuck, Jax. You should see this,” he rasps, and I blink through my tears to focus on his face, loving how he called me Jax and not Jaxcen. “This is the most beautiful sight I’ve ever fucking seen.”

He surges forward even more, and again I gag, his dick hitting the back of my throat, and I breathe quickly, willing myself not to upchuck on his dick.

That would be so embarrassing.

“Okay. It’s time,” he rasps, and he follows that up by answering the question in my head. “It’s time for me to fuck this beautiful mouth.”

I kinda thought he was already, but I quickly get what he means when he pulls halfway out, and slips back in quickly.

I gag, the noise loud as he revels in the sound. “Fuck yes, Jax. Let me hear you struggle.”

Oh my…. I gag again and again and he starts thrusting in and out of my mouth, my head held in place by the belt, and my hands come to his thighs, ready to push him back because I’m not sure I can do this... but then I see his face.

The way it’s contorted. An expression of pleasure and pain mixed together, and it does something to me.

Wetness rushes between my legs, and I give in to his brutal thrusts, my relaxing muscles accommodating him even more, and I only gag on every third or fourth thrust.

“That’s it. You’re such a good learner, Jaxcen. Such a good filthy Catholic girl.” He thrusts faster, and my gag gurgles a little, making me fear I’m about to throw up, but he takes that moment to pull back, popping his dick free as he pants.

“Do you like the way I fuck your mouth, little mouse?”

I nod, gasping for air. “Yes.”

His fingers grip my jaw, angling my head so I have to look at him again.

“You’re not repulsed?”

I shake my head.

“What about when I make you puke?” He strokes his thumb over the drool on my chin. “Will you be repulsed then?”

I shrug. “I don’t know.”

A slow sinister smile tugs at his lips. “Shall we find out?”

He doesn’t let me answer as he guides my head back to his cock and eases back inside my mouth.

I can’t help but love how he watches me. For some reason, his awe makes me feel powerful, even though I’m the one whose mouth is being punished, but I don’t hate it. It barely feels like a punishment, and my heart thrashes at the possibilities of what this man could do to me, and how willing I’d be to let him.

With both hands fisting the belt again, he restarts his assault on my throat, and I remain relaxed, my throat welcoming the brutality for the most part.

I watch him watching me as he thrusts, but then he changes tactics, and instead of thrusting, he releases his belt to drape it over my shoulders, and fists both sides of my head before he controls it, forces my head back and forth so quickly that my gag turns into one long retching gag as my body protests the invasion.

Tears stream from my eyes and my nails dig into his thighs as I push at him, and finally he releases me as I gag so hard, I nearly hurl.

“Stop,” I pant, gasping for air, and his hand fists into my hair before he tugs my head back to look up at him.

“You gonna lose your dinner?” he asks, still wearing a smirk .

“I didn’t eat dinner,” I pant, but I can’t breathe, “so I’d like not to die.”

“Do you want me to stop?” he asks, and for the first time since he started this punishment with me, I see uncertainty in his eyes.

“No.” I shake my head. “I want you to cum down my throat.”

His eyes darken as a growl rumbles in his chest, and he leans down claiming my lips in a sloppy, drool covered kiss, that doesn’t seem to bother him. His tongue dives in, as if he can taste his precum lining my mouth, and hell, the thought causes flutters deep in my core.

Breaking the kiss aggressively, he fists his cock and guides it back to my lips, where I take him in again.

“Why are you so fucking perfect for my cock, little mouse?”

I’m guessing it’s another rhetorical question since my mouth is stuffed full of his dick.

“Does it make you wet?” he asks. “Blink once for no and twice for yes.”

I blink twice.