Twenty-Eight

Malice

Standing, I stared at a picture of Torment and his parents. He looked happy. Torment was one of the youngest brothers in the club. There wasn't much known about his life before he became a Soulless Sinner and, according to Mercy, it wasn't for lack of trying. The fact was, Torment was tight-lipped about anything regarding his personal life.

"Your parents?"

"That's right."

"They look happy."

"Because they are."

Turning, I looked at Torment. "They're still together?"

"Going on thirty-five years now."

"No siblings?"

"Malice, are we going to talk about me or you?"

"How have they stayed married for so long?"

"Communication and a lot of patience would be my guess. If you want marital advice, I can call them, and you can talk to them instead of me."

"I don't believe in marriage," I declared, taking a seat.

"That's understandable, given your situation. However, Arianwen might think differently."

"Doubt it," I said, picking up a framed photo of him and his mother. She was a beautiful woman. Dark, almost black hair and pale, milky white skin. She was stunning.

"You took after your dad."

"Yes, I did," Torment agreed.

Putting the photo back, I rubbed my hands over my thighs.

I was nervous. I hated talking about myself and my past. I never really knew what to say.

"Arianwen's not talking."

"She was talking to Bane and Snoopy before we came in here."

I nodded.

He was right.

She was.

"What do you mean, she's not talking?"

"Since the accident. She hasn't really talked to me. Not that she really did before, but this is different. She is quieter."

"Why do you think that is?"

"Montana said it's because she miscarried."

"And how does that make you feel?"

I shrugged. "I don't feel anything. Never knew she was pregnant. Can't miss something I didn't know about."

Torment frowned. "Is that how you really feel?"

"No."

"I didn't think so. You are one of the top experts in the field of psychiatry, specializing in childhood trauma. You love children. Prefer them to adults. You've said that many times. Yet you rarely practice. Why?"

Fumbling with my fingers, I mumbled, "I get attached."

"That makes sense. You took to Harlow instantly. You love that little girl."

"Yeah, I do," I said, getting up from the chair, moving about the room again.

"Malice, why do you think Arianwen's not talking to you?"

"‘Cause she's mad at me for the accident."

"Did she say anything? Blame you in any way?"

"No."

"Malice, do you blame yourself for the accident?"

"It's my fault."

"The roads were wet. Three bikers chased you in the tunnel. One of them clipped your back tire. The accident was unavoidable."

"It was my fault."

"What do you mean?"

"I didn't mean to head into the tunnel. I wanted to stay on the highway, but everything got jumbled up in my head. I tried to pay attention to the road, but everything was closing in on me. I couldn't breathe. I had to get out of there. I saw them coming. I tried to go faster, but the tunnel never ended. I couldn't see a way out. Then everything happened and she got hurt. It was my fault."

I heard him shift in his seat.

Torment was smart. I knew he would catch on to what I said.

"You're claustrophobic."

I nodded.

"He had this box, an old chest, really. He kept it in his office. He liked to put me in there to punish me. I hated it. I couldn't breathe in there. Even when I got too big, he would beat me until I got in the chest. He would leave me in there for hours. I've never liked closed spaces since. Do you think a baby can feel claustrophobic in the womb?"

"Malice, you went to medical school, just like I did. I think you already know the answer, but I will tell you what I believe. No, I believe a baby feels warmth, love, and safety."

"That's good."

"The loss of a child affects everyone differently. Doesn't matter if the child existed for a lifetime or just a few hours. For some people, the moment they learn of their child's existence, they form an instant connection, and they feel a great loss when the child is gone."

"She didn't feel that way."

"Who didn't?"

"Amelia," I said, turning to look at him. "She carried me for nine months and the second I was born, she handed me over and walked away. She told me she never looked back. She just walked away like she was returning a pair of shoes. Even when I found her years later and she was damn near dead, I still meant nothing to her."

"Like you, Amelia suffered at the hands of Devlin Scott. The trauma she endured was tremendous. It weighs heavily on her. I saw evidence of that last night when she talked to the club. Amelia may have survived Devlin Scott, but she still lives the nightmare every day. She will never be what you need her to be, Malice. She can't be. She doesn't know how."

Sitting back down, I leaned forward, resting my head in my hands. "I don't understand. When Montana told me Arianwen was pregnant, something burst inside me. For a split second, I was happy. Genuinely happy for the first time in my life. And then it was all gone. I wanted that baby, Torment. I wanted it so badly."

"You admitting that now shows me you will be a wonderful father someday. Even with the life you've lived, you will make a remarkable dad and I, for one, look forward to the day when Arianwen tells you the good news," Torment said, closing his notebook. "I think we're done for the day. You are free to go."

I didn't need to be told twice.

Walking out of his office, I headed for the main room when Mercy called out, "Malice. Got a minute?"

Grumbling, I nodded.

Walking into his office, I noticed Montana sitting in the corner, talking with Pippen.

"Yeah."

"Your mother. Will she be staying in the city for a while?"

"Until we find Popeye or this Gray Greer person, why?"

"Here. Take this," the man said, throwing a set of keys at me. Catching them, I frowned.

"What's this?"

"Keys to one of the furnished apartments at Davenport Tower. A place of her own, so to speak, while she stays here in the city. Got enough going on around here. Plus, your mother doesn't seem like a woman who would enjoy club life. It will afford her the privacy and space she needs, without all the fucking fanfare, and allow her to stay close if shit goes sideways."

Pocketing them, I looked over at Montana and Pippen. Huddled together as the both of them scoured some papers. Turning back to Mercy, I asked, "What's that about?"

"Pippen found something strange in the ghost file."

Staring at Mercy, I waited.

The man sighed. "It's nothing. Well, I'm hoping it's nothing. With all the crap happening lately, it better be nothing. Oh, before I forget, here, take this."

Holding out a file, I looked at it, then at him, refusing to take it.

The man sighed. "They are documents for Silver to sign, so Montana doesn't have to take your brand."

I stood there, confused, waiting for Mercy to explain.

"You're broke, asshole," Montana said flatly, never looking up from what Pippen was showing him. "Can't be on the board if you're broke."

Still refusing to move, Mercy groaned.

"After you claimed Silver, you signed everything you owned over to her. You can't be a sitting board member if you can't pay your club dues. Just have her sign the papers and get them back to me so I can forward them to Storm."

Still standing there, I refused to leave.

"Work with me here, Malice. You know the club rules. Every sitting board member must be able to maintain club dues and charitable donations while continuing to build his wealth. According to Storm, you are broke. You have no money. You signed it all over to Silver. Just have her sign everything back over to you."

"Why?"

"Because if you don't, the board will force me to take your fucking brand, dickhead," Montana sneered, looking at me.

I didn't see the fucking problem and they were shit at explaining it to me. I didn't want the money. I didn't care either way. I wanted Arianwen to have it all. I'd never known what to do with it, anyway. That's why I gave it all to Arianwen. She would know what to do with it all.

"Why can't she just pay my dues and take care of the charitable shit? I don't even want to run the Foundation. It's a pain in the ass. The only time I'm actually there is for the Foundation Ball. I don't even run the place. Storm and Fury do."

"Because Silver is not a sitting board member." Mercy sighed, banging his head on his desk. "Malice, just have her sign the damn papers."

"No."

"What do you mean, no?" Montana growled, getting to his feet. "It's fucking simple. She signs or I take your brand. What the fuck don't you understand? It's club rules."

"But I don't want it."

"SILVER!" Montana roared, balling his fist as he glared at me.

Moments later, Arianwen walked into Mercy's office and snarked, "You know, yelling like a fucking lunatic makes you look like an idiot, right?"

"Not in the mood right now, Silver. Sign those papers," Montana ordered, pointing to the folder on Mercy's desk.

Like me, Arianwen looked at the folder, then at me, before turning back to Montana. "What are they?"

"Legal documents giving Malice back the Foundation and all of his holdings. Stocks, bonds, everything he signed over to you after he claimed you."

"But he doesn't want them."

My girl knew me.

Smiling, I eyed an apple sitting on Mercy's desk. Picking it up, I took a bite out of it and stepped back, leaning against the wall, knowing they were about to have their asses handed to them.

Montana growled; Mercy quickly got to his feet.

Walking around his desk, he leaned against it and calmly said, "Silver. There are rules to being a sitting board member. Malice knows this. For him to keep his seat, he needs to be able to pay the club dues and still make his charitable donations. He can't do that if you hold all the purse strings."

"Okay," she said, then asked, "How much are the club dues?"

"It's not that simple, Silver." Mercy groaned. "Malice has to have access to his money."

"He does. He just doesn't want to be bothered with it."

"He doesn't have a choice," Montana snarked.

"I don't see a problem here. He doesn't want the money, and I don't mind taking over. I handle all club purchases and shit, and you've never had a problem with that before. So me taking over Malice's finances shouldn't be a problem. Now, once again. How much are his club dues?"

Mercy sighed. "One million every quarter."

"Can I pay that all at once or do I need to do it quarterly?" she asked, reaching for her phone.

Mercy gulped, his head swiveling toward Montana, who looked ready to blow a fucking fuse.

"Storm handles all the club dues," Pippen piped up, but quickly shut his mouth when Montana and Mercy growled at him.

"So, I need to have this conversation with Storm?" Arianwen asked.

"Silver, it's not that easy," Montana ground out.

"Yes, it is actually," Arianwen clipped back. "Malice hates money. He hates everything to do with it. He doesn't even run the Foundation. Storm and Fury do. He farms out everything when it's time for the Foundation Ball, and when he has to make charitable contributions, he always hands me a list and tells me to pick. He doesn't even buy his own clothes. I do or Linsey or Tessa do. I don't think he's ever purchased a toothbrush by himself. The man only owns three pairs of jeans, for crying out loud. Have any of you actually seen his room upstairs? It's bare. Not a fucking personal item anywhere. Look, I get there are rules, but you need to understand that Malice isn't like you. He couldn't care less about the Foundation, all the charities, or the balance in his account. All he cares about is this club, all of you, and me. He doesn't even have a regular job."

"She's right," Torment said, walking into the room. "He may have an office next to mine downtown, but he's never there. I've actually cleaned out his office and started using it as a storage room."

"Then how the fuck did he replace his bike so fast?" Montana snapped. "I saw the beast he bought being delivered this morning."

"He showed me which one he wanted, and I made the call." Arianwen smiled sweetly. "Did you know that when you say money is no object, that retailers actually move faster?"

Mercy hid his smirk.

"I give up," Montana groaned, storming from the room.

Mercy shook his head, grinning. "Girl, next time I have a problem, I'm going to need you to do all the talking. I've never seen Montana give in so quickly."