Chapter Sixteen

Silver

I couldn't sleep.

Throwing back the covers, I marched to the front door and looked out the peephole. Like all the other times I'd checked since I had kicked him out, he was still standing outside my door.

Resting my head against the door, I prayed for patience.

I wasn't a patient woman. Never had been, but something deep in my gut told me I was going to need all the patience I could muster when it came to Malice.

Stubborn fool.

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you, and I don't hate you. At least I don't think I do. I honestly don't know how to articulate what I feel. But I know it isn't hate. I feel protective of you. Always have."

Sliding down the door, I leaned my head back, listening intently as he continued to speak.

"The reason Torment threw his gold medallion at Montana's feet was because Montana wanted to take my brand. We all have one. It is like a get out of jail free card. Once used, we can never use it again. It's a one-shot deal. Montana wanted to punish me for going against his direct order. Part of me believes I deserve whatever he decrees. The other part of me doesn't really care what he thinks. I claimed you. You are mine."

Closing my eyes, I tried to comprehend what he was saying. But what he said next robbed me of every thought in my head.

"You consume me, Arianwen. When I'm around you, I can't think straight. All I see and hear is you. Everything fades away. You are everything I never wanted and what I desire the most. Over the years, I tried to give you space, to stay away, but you always drew me back in, and now my world begins and ends with you. I am nothing and you are my everything."

Not thinking, I got to my feet and unlocked the door.

Opening it, I looked up into his eyes and what I saw damn near had me crumbling to the floor. The amount of sincerity, love, and devotion radiating from his eyes was breathtaking. Never, in all the years I'd known Malice, had I ever seen him look at me the way he was looking at me then.

"I'm not a good man. I never will be. But for you, I want to try."

I tentatively approached him, the urge to reach out and feel his presence overwhelmed me, yet fear stayed my hand. The betrayal of my body stole away the very thing I coveted. The reason behind it was a complete mystery to me.

His intensity was unmatched, rendering him untouchable. With just one glance, he captivated me completely.

I couldn't help but continue to gaze, mesmerized by the scene before me, despite the emotions welling up inside. I found him to be a fascinating individual, like a guiding light that caught my attention. I was mistaken in thinking that he was rigid and inflexible. He actually exhibited a sense of defiance and curiosity. Imagining him as a brother within the club, I had this perception that he would be different from others, displaying greater strength and a more reserved personality. In contrast to his brothers, who were carefree and had no trouble expressing themselves, he had a different disposition. He carried an air of calculated precision, intense focus, and occasional severity in every action and interaction. However, in the absence of any prying eyes, a peculiar feeling settled within me, indicating that he was seemingly on a quest for something, almost like a bewildered wanderer who had misplaced his path and was unaware of the route back to his abode. Although he blended well and went unnoticed by most, there were a few precious moments when he caught me staring at him. Without fail, his piercing gaze would always meet mine with such intensity that it would take away my ability to breathe.

In an instant, my insides ignited with an intense heat, causing my mind to go completely numb. My entire body felt magnetically drawn towards him, like a compass pointing due north.

I couldn't help but crave that very moment.

He paused, his eyes meeting mine, a faint smile playing on his lips. When our eyes met, a powerful energy surged between us, filling the room and stirring something deep within me.

Lust filtered through me.

My nipples tightened, and my breath stilled.

Licking my lips, I whispered, "Come inside, Malice."

"I cross this threshold. I won't ever leave again."

The malice in his voice was unmistakable, leaving no room for doubt. His eyes burned with intensity, sending a clear message that he was deadly serious.

This was it.

If I had any reservations, now was the time to speak up.

He stepped forward.

I gulped.

"Be sure, Arianwen, because there is no going back."

"I'm sure."

With a tender touch, he reached behind my neck and intertwined his fingers in my hair, drawing me in for a deep, intimate kiss. Our lips met, his gentle kisses leaving a lingering sensation with each nibble, adding to the intimate moment. In that instance, the rest of the world seemed to vanish, and nothing else mattered except the sensation of his lips on mine.

It was a simple, gentle kiss, yet a promise of things to come.

Although most of me was excited, there was a small part of me that felt a slight sense of fear. What if he reverted back to his aggressive behavior? Even though some time had passed, I could still sense discomfort in certain places. The thought of going through something similar again so soon, left me uncertain if I could handle it.

Timidly, I looked up at him, my eyes silently pleading for gentleness.

I wanted the man who had just professed his deepest desires, not the man the club needed. He leaned his forehead against mine, and I could feel the tension in his body dissipate. His whispered words were ones I never thought I'd hear.

"I love you, Arianwen."

My hands glided up his chest, and with each beat of my heart, the sound intensified, like a drum pounding in my chest. Meanwhile, a solitary tear escaped and rolled down my face.

With a frown, he delicately wiped away my tears, his touch comforting and compassionate.

"I love you."

When I didn't respond, his words became a gentle whisper that seemed like a figment of my imagination. "I will continue to say it until you feel how much you're loved, because I do love you. I always have and always will."

When Malice cradled my head, all my thoughts faded away, consumed by the intensity of his searing kiss. With a gentle yet firm touch, he cupped my face in his hands, his fingers entwined in my hair, drawing me closer for a lingering kiss. The kiss left me feeling depleted, almost as if he were slowly stealing pieces of my soul. He was in complete control. In that instant, there was nothing else in my mind except for my own existence, all thoughts and uncertainties vanished. The moment our lips met, a rush of warmth and a comforting feeling of safety washed over me.

In an instant, everything around us ceased to exist, leaving just me and him in a bubble of solitude, where it seemed like the entire world had dissolved into nothingness. A wave of hope and longing washed over me, pushing aside all my worries and leaving only him in my line of sight.

He was my beginning, my middle, my end.

With a gentle grip on my hips, he skillfully guided me backward into the luxurious setting of my penthouse. As soon as we stepped inside, I immediately heard the door shut and the sound of it locking.

Taking control of the situation, he deftly directed me towards the wall and then pressed his entire body against mine, leaving no space between us. His erection pressed against me, and I could feel a surge of sensations as my entire body tensed. My nipples, my stomach, the ache between my legs cried out for more.

I wondered if I could cum just from his kiss.

When his strong thigh parted my legs, he lifted me ever so slightly to deepen the kiss. I fell victim to him once more as I succumbed to the assault of his lips.

The passionate kiss seemed to stretch out endlessly, amplified by the way I pressed my body against his and sensually caressed his leg. He firmly pressed my hands against the wall above my head. He didn't have to tell me anything. Having vividly remembered his previous response, I made a conscious decision to avoid any physical contact with him.

As his mouth grazed my neck and collarbone, I could feel his warm breath against my skin, creating an electrifying sensation.

He lifted my shirt, and I heard him groan.

"I love you."

With a swift motion, he tugged at the hem of my shirt, pulling it up and over my head, revealing my chest to him. After removing my shirt, his fingers delicately caressed my right nipple, causing it to tighten with arousal. I caught my lip between my teeth while I observed his face, completely absorbed by how my body was responding. Cupping my breast, his mouth descended upon my nipple, delivering a firm yet pleasurable bite that sent a jolt of sensation through my body, followed by the soothing caress of his tongue.

His hands moved along my legs and hips and his touch was so delicate and deliberate that it felt like he was committing the texture of my skin to memory. Wherever I turned, I could sense his energy surrounding me, as if he was present in every nook and cranny, on my skin, in my head, seeping into my bones.

Turmoil consumed me, my thoughts racing in a chaotic whirlwind.

I stood on the precipice, feeling the anticipation of something extraordinary about to unfold.

I acted without hesitation, reaching for his hair instinctively as he lavished attention on my breasts. I felt taken aback when he suddenly spun me around and delivered a firm slap on my rear.

The sudden movement caught me off guard, causing me to gasp in surprise. But the sharp pain quickly subsided, and a familiar warmth washed over me, soothing my senses.

I moaned.

With another twirl, he brought me face-to-face with him, his eyes shining with renewed intensity and promise.

"I love you, Arianwen."

His response stole my breath, and I gazed up at him through my lashes, I could sense that there was more meaning behind his words. It wasn't a declaration of love, it was a subtle, yet meaningful order. Plain and simple. Although those three words carried significant weight, they possessed the ability to be distorted and exploited for alternative motives. I knew that now. The moment I locked eyes with him, his true essence became clear. Despite his love for me, his dominant nature made it apparent that he would always be the one in charge.

Gulping, I nodded. "Yes, sir."

Then he grinned, and I knew he would be my undoing.

I found myself in the same position, with my hands flat against the wall. Helplessness washed over me as he once again unleashed his assault on my senses, making me feel simultaneously cherished and overwhelmed by his attention. His lips met mine in yet another drugging kiss, before he skillfully moved to my ears and neck, teasingly exploring the spots he knew would send shivers down my spine. With renewed vigor, he pressed his mouth against my breasts, his movements more aggressive than ever. He twisted and bit them again and again, making sure to soothe them with soft kisses afterwards.

When he leaned back and looked at me, his intense stare seemed to pierce through me, leaving me feeling exposed and vulnerable. Slowly and deliberately, his left hand grazed its way up my body, the gentle scratch of his fingernails sending shivers down my spine until he finally reached my right wrist. His fingers intertwined with mine and he led my hand away from the wall and guided it to the unmistakable bulge in his pants.

"I love you," he said while looking into my eyes before placing a gentle kiss upon my lips.

I stroked him.

He growled, snatching my hand away, shaking his head.

"Please. Let me touch you." I moaned, mindless with need.

He growled.

"Words, Malice. I need words."

"You can't touch me."

"What do you mean?"

"When we're like this. You can't touch me."

"I don't understand," I whispered, imploring him to continue.

Taking a deep breath, he leaned his head against mine again and said, "I've never been with a willing woman before, a woman who wanted me. I mean, I've only been with women who had extensive training as submissives. There was no emotion. I tied them down so they couldn't move, couldn't touch me."

"Is that what you want to do with me? Tie me down?"

Malice slowly shook his head. "No. I want to try, for you."

Taking a deep breath, I carefully let it out.

Well shit.

What the hell did I do now?

He was in a mood.

Ever since he'd dropped that bombshell at my feet last night, I slammed on the brakes to everything. While I was willing to try anything for him, I flat-out refused to suffer his rage again. While I knew deep down he would never intentionally hurt me, I wasn't willing to test that theory. So, instead of spending the night in an orgasmic bliss, we slept in the same bed. Not touching, but at least we were in the same bed.

However, now he was being fucking pissy and refusing to talk.

"Bitch all you want, Malice, but this is happening," I stated firmly, walking past him, heading for the kitchen.

"No."

Stopping on a dime, I slowly turned and glared at him. "Yes."

He growled menacingly, glaring daggers at me.

"Don't like it when I respond like you, do you?"

He growled again, storming out of the living room.

Rolling my eyes, I headed for the kitchen when I heard a knock at my door.

Greeting Torment, we both heard Malice growl.

"Ignore him." I smiled up at the club brother. "Thank you for coming. There was no way I was going to get him to your office."

"No problem." Torment tentatively stepped in, looking around my place for his hostile brother.

"He's in the bedroom, throwing a hissy fit."

Torment smirked at that.

"So why am I here, Silver?"

Closing the door, I walked into the living room, unsure how to begin. Taking a seat, I waited for him to sit and when he did, I began.

"We need help."

"No, we don't!" we both heard Malice yell from the back bedroom.

"Either you come out here and participate or shut the hell up!" I shouted back.

The slamming of the bedroom door was the only response I got.

Torment leaned back, hiding his smile with his hand.

Yeah, I got it. It wasn't every day a brother got to see someone hand Malice his ass.

"Like I was saying, we need help. We both do, and I'm not sure where to start."

"Generally, the beginning is the best place. Why don't you start with why you called me?"

Nodding, I leaned forward. "Last night, Malice and I, we were..."

"Got it. You two were having sex."

Shaking my head, I added, "No, we weren't. We were just kissing and touching. Well, he was doing all the kissing and touching. When I tried to reciprocate, he stopped me. He told me I couldn't touch him, and when I asked why, he said some things, very dark things. Then I put a stop to it all. Since then, neither of us knows how to proceed. I know he's got a dark past. I do too. But I don't know how to move forward in this relationship, or if it will even work if I can't touch him."

Torment sighed. "While I'm unable to speak of my time with Malice, I can tell you—"

"Tell her!" the grumpy asshole shouted again.

"That's it," I declared, getting to my feet.

Storming out of the room, I marched my ass into the bedroom to find him standing steadfast, arms crossed over his chest, while he glared at me.

"Not going out there."

"Like hell you're not," I shot back.

"No."

"Yes."

"You either get your ass out there or I will call the entire fucking clubhouse to come participate. The women included!"

When he didn't move, I grabbed his hand and yanked him out of the room. Ignoring his mumbles, he trudged reluctantly after me and when I had him in the living room, I pointed to the sofa.

"Sit."

And wouldn't you believe it?

The annoying fucker actually sat.

Plopping down next to him, I looked at Torment, who sat wide-eyed in shock. "As you were saying?"

Gulping, Torment looked from Malice to me a few times before saying anything.

"I'm honestly at a loss for words right now. I've never seen Malice so unsure of anything and, Silver, I've never seen you so confident. It's like you've both reversed roles."

"People change all the time, Torment," I groaned.

"Yes. But not overnight," he admitted, then asked, "Malice, are you okay with me being here?"

The grumpy fucker huffed, and I sneered, "Answer him. He won't continue without your consent, and you know it."

"Don't care."

Leaning forward, Torment took a deep breath. "Alright then. So last night, the both of you were trying to be intimate, but as you said, Silver, Malice wouldn't let you touch him. How did that make you feel?"

"Hurt. I wanted to touch him. I wanted him to feel everything he was doing to me. I may not know a lot about sex, but I know it takes two to tango, so to speak. I didn't have the best experiences growing up. I wanted something more, and I thought he did too."

"What did you think Malice wanted?"

"Me. All of me. When I imagined myself with Malice, I thought it would be magical; that he would show me what I've been missing all these years. That he would show me that there was more to sex than pain and degradation. But when he told me about the women he had sex with and how he treated them, something inside me froze. I knew there was no way I could have a relationship like the one I had with Petrovitch."

Malice growled when Torment held up his hand.

"Silver, what you had with Petrovitch wasn't a relationship. You understand that, right? What that man did to you was criminal. He sexually abused you, tormented you, beat you for his own gratification. What he did was tantamount to sexual slavery."

Looking at my hands, I whispered, "How is that any different from when Malice claimed me?"