Chapter Ten

Malice

It was chilly, and I worried she would catch a cold, but every time I mentioned it, she told me she was fine.

I hated that word.

Fine.

There was nothing fine about anything anymore.

Nothing was fine at home.

Nothing was fine with Arianwen.

Nothing was fine, period.

"Sitting there sulking instead of telling me why you're here will solve nothing."

"I know."

"Then speak. I don't have all day."

I smirked at that as I looked out over the horizon. There was nothing around for miles, only wheat fields and clear skies. The area was desolate, almost nonexistent, yet peaceful. She could walk for miles and see no one. I hated she was all alone out here, but it was what she wanted, and I didn't have the heart to tell her no. Instead, I bought up all the surrounding land, built her a small three-bedroom house, and made damn sure she had everything she needed and more.

"Are you happy here?"

She nodded. "I am."

"You look healthy."

"If by that you mean I look better than I did when you found me, then I will take it as a compliment."

"Amelia?"

"Yes."

"Do you think I'm like him?"

I saw her stiffen slightly before she took a deep breath and relaxed. Holding on to the coffee mug in her hand, she brought it to her lips and took a tentative sip as she contemplated her response.

Amelia didn't mince words.

She believed in plain speak and the truth.

Even if it hurt to hear it.

"You don't have to answer that. I already know."

"Then why ask me?"

I shrugged my shoulders.

"God gives us the ability to choose between right and wrong. You can either choose to do the right thing or choose to do wrong. The choice is yours."

"What if I don't have a choice?"

"Everyone has a choice. Even you."

She was right. Father Dominic once told me the same thing. Everything in life was a choice. It was up to me to make the right choice. While I tried to live my life justly, in the eyes of God, I had at times turned a blind eye and done what I wanted, despite knowing it was wrong.

"It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission."

Now, that was the damn truth.

I don't think I'd ever asked for permission.

Oh, I was good at giving the illusion of permission, but when it all boiled down to it, I never did. I knew how to manipulate everything and everyone to get what I wanted. Most of the time, I did what I wanted and took what I needed. I didn't give a damn about anyone.

Now everything was all jumbled in my head. What I wanted and what I should do was all intertwined, meshed together, and I couldn't see through the maze.

"I did something I'm not proud of. I hurt a woman I care deeply for. Someone I was supposed to protect."

"Intentionally?"

I nodded.

"I see."

"I was angry at her. I wanted to punish her, so I did."

"Did you apologize?"

I shook my head.

"No. I just left."

"Then you know what you need to do. You didn't need me to tell you that. So why are you really here, Gideon?"

Looking over the vast horizon, I stared at the wheat fields as the wind lightly blew through them. It was mesmerizing, almost like I was sitting on a beach somewhere watching an ocean made up of golden waves. I could hear the slight whistle of the breeze while the waves moved back and forth.

"I met her."

"Who?"

"My sister."

Amelia looked at me but said nothing as she sat stiffly in her chair.

"She looks like me. She's messed up like me. She is me."

"Is she happy?"

"I think so. She seemed happy. The man she is with cares for her deeply. He is strong and very protective of her."

"Protective or controlling?"

I smirked. "Possibly both. His name is Lucifer Hawk, Luc for short. Former military, now the president of a motorcycle club called Disturbed. They live in Northern California. A town called Destiny. I told her about you."

Amelia sighed and she looked down at her hands.

"And?"

"I don't know. I gave her the information. She told me she looked for you. She believed the false trail I laid. When I told her the truth, she got angry. Incredibly angry. Before I left, I made sure she had your address."

"The choice is hers, then." Amelia sighed.

"I guess so."

"And the other one?"

I lightly shook my head.

"Nothing yet. I've reached out to Matthew Law. His security firm, along with local authorities, are going through all the files at the Trick Pony. It might be a while before we learn anything."

"Did you tell her?"

"No," I said truthfully.

"What is her name?"

"Ivy. Ivy Amelia Scott."

Amelia smirked. "At least he gave me that."

It was almost one o'clock in the morning when I walked out onto the front porch. I didn't know what woke me, but I was wide awake and alert.

Taking a seat on the steps, I looked up at all the stars. A sight I rarely got to see in the big city. There was something about sitting in the dark with no one around for miles that calmed me. Maybe it was the darkness itself. The silence of the night echoed the quietness of the world around me.

Out here, in the middle of nowhere, I could actually drown out the voices in my head. It was soothing, yet terrifying. I'd never heard such silence before.

It was unnerving.

The only thing I couldn't silence was her.

She was everywhere around me, and yet nowhere.

She was the one constant in my life that made no sense, yet I understood with perfect precision. Somehow, in the years since we'd known each other, she had become an integral part of my life. Like a parasite, she invaded my life, took root, and now encompassed everything until she was all that mattered.

I hated her for that.

I wondered what she was doing.

Reaching for my phone, I swiped my thumb across the screen to see several missed calls and text messages from my brothers. Though none from her.

I knew she wouldn't call.

She never did.

She never really needed to.

Clicking on the security app, I logged in and brought up her room at the clubhouse. She may not need me like I needed her, but I would always be there for her, watching and waiting.

Staring at my screen, I watched while she slept.

She was so beautiful. So innocent.

And I had ruined her.

Even now, I smirked at seeing the fading bruises as the darkness within me demanded I create new ones. My body betrayed me, wanting nothing more than to hear her cries of pleasure and pain, an anguished sonnet to soothe my soul.

No.

The best thing for her was if I stayed away.

It was the only way.

I didn't know how it would all work out, but I couldn't be around her and not want to punish her. She'd done nothing wrong. She never had. I was the one who needed to leave. The one with the damaged soul.

She was restless again.

Her brows furrowed when she coiled tightly under the covers, turning toward the camera. I could see the tension in her body, as if something bothered her. That's when I saw a shadow move in her room.

Sitting up straighter, I focused on the screen. She bolted awake and her eyes looked directly at the camera. There was no fucking way she knew where I'd placed the camera, yet somehow, she knew.

Impossible.

The door to her room opened and I watched Montana enter.

He was talking to her.

I couldn't hear what he was saying, but I could tell she didn't want him in there with her. She hated being in an enclosed space with a man.

Any man. It didn't matter.

It was one of her residual traumas she had never reconciled.

The longer he stayed, the more agitated she became.

Didn't he see he was making her nervous?

Without thinking, I sent off a quick text.

I saw the second he got it, ‘cause his demeanor changed and he quickly left the room.

She looked up at the camera and smirked before she laid back down and went back to sleep. I monitored her for a little while longer before I closed the app and my phone rang.

Seeing the caller, I shouldn't have been surprised.

I'd been expecting his call for weeks now.

Fucker had been in the wind, evading the club for weeks, biding his time, waiting to strike. I knew it was only a matter of time before he reached out. Too bad for him. When I got my hands on him, I was going to kill him.

"We need to talk."

"Then talk," I replied flatly.

"I've got information Montana needs."

"Listening."

"Not over the phone."

I said nothing.

If this fucker thought I would roll over and play right into his hand, he had another think coming. I really didn't give a fuck if the son of a bitch lived or died. He could either say what he needed to now, or I would beat it out of him later.

The choice was his.

"It's about Bane."

I disconnected the call.

Sighing, I looked out into the darkness and wondered if this was what my life was going to be like until I died. Not that I was complaining. I guess I had it better than most people.

At least I survived to live another day.

I wasn't so sure he would when the dust settled.

Dialing his number, I sat there in silence, waiting for him to pick up. I really didn't care what Popeye had on him. All I cared about was how it would affect the club and what kind of damage it would cause. Yet, Bane was always decent to me. So, giving him a heads-up was the least I could do.

"What?"

"Popeye is getting ready to nark. Whatever you're hiding. Time's up."