Chapter Five

Lio

A be headed onto the porch to greet Allen, leaving me alone with Jeremy, who didn't bother to hide that he was ogling Abe's ass. Jeremy was leaner than I'd ever seen him, but his tight olive-green Henley and faded jeans displayed a cut physique. He looked to be in better shape than he had been when we were on active duty. Jeremy's face was thinner, gaunt almost, but the combination of hollow cheeks and heavy dark stubble on his jaw and upper lip drew attention to his full mouth. And I didn't want to think about where it had been. I needed to let it go before jealousy ate me alive. Calling Jeremy and Allen had probably been a big mistake. With the way I sprang it on Abe, he probably thought I was testing him. Fuck . Did he think that?

Jeremy turned around and caught me watching him. A wry smile curved his lips, and it made me want to punch him. So much for letting it go. "So that's the lay of the land, huh? It was only a matter of time before you two figured out what everyone else knew."

Allen and Abe walked into the cabin before I had a chance to reply, which was fine by me. I wondered if Jeremy had been carrying a torch for Abe, and I didn't want to rub our relationship in his face. Allen's white-blond hair looked silver in the waning sunlight. He held a case of beer in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. Dread knotted my stomach. When I'd invited them here, it had been to help Abe work through his grief. I'd shopped for ingredients to make the chili and cornbread they loved so much and figured we'd play games or shoot the shit for a few hours before turning in. Abe's week had been spectacularly heinous, not allowing him much time to grieve, and he'd be face-to-face with his asshole relatives the next day. Getting shitfaced on beer and whiskey wasn't the solution to his problem.

I squelched my internal diatribe because Abe was a grown-ass man who could decide the best course of action for dealing with his grief. He took the beer and whiskey from Allen and headed toward the kitchen. When our eyes met, the exhaustion he felt was etched in his features, and the smile on his lips wasn't reflected in his gaze.

Allen crossed the room, and happiness radiated from him. He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed tight. His embrace was as gregarious as his personality. "It's been too long, man. I've really missed you."

I pulled back from Allen's embrace and smiled at him. "I've missed you too, buddy."

He was the kind of guy who was all jokes and silliness until it was time to get to work, then he shifted into laserlike focus. The dichotomy of his personality had given me whiplash when I'd first met him, but I'd grown to appreciate and admire Allen's adaptable temperament. I was too rigid sometimes, setting boundaries and rules that were off-putting to some and divisive to others. Not Abe. He understood me and accepted me for all my faults.

Yet you put conditions on your love, making Abe jump through hoops while you remained rigid and unyielding? Oh hell no. I'd have to do much better than that if we would have a ghost of a chance at making a relationship work, and I desperately wanted— needed —Abe's love in my life.

"I'm going to get the chili going while you guys catch up," I told Jeremy and Allen.

Mostly, I wanted to make sure Abe and I were okay. He was still unpacking the beer into the ancient refrigerator when I stepped into the small kitchen. Abe typically just set the carton in the fridge, and the emptying felt like a delay tactic. Had he wanted to speak to me too?

I snagged the sour cream and cheddar cheese off the counter and walked them to the refrigerator. Abe loved to top his chili with the ingredients, but we wouldn't need them for a few hours.

Abe straightened, met my gaze, and winked. His downturned lips didn't match the gesture, though.

"I shouldn't have sprung this on you. I hope you're not mad." Before he could respond, I leaned closer and whispered, "And this isn't a test."

Abe quirked a brow. "How'd you know the thought crossed my mind?"

"Because I know how your brain works. The real question is: did you dismiss it right away or believe it?"

Tilting his head, Abe said, "What do you think?"

I searched his expression and all I saw was love. "You dismissed it outright."

The refrigerator was the type with the freezer on top, and it was much shorter than the newer models on the market, so with the door open, Allen and Jeremy would only see us from the shoulders up. Abe took advantage of that and hooked his fingers in my belt loops to tug me closer. He grazed the back of his hand over the front of my jeans, then settled it on my hip. His other hand rested casually on top of the refrigerator door.

"Where do you plan to sleep tonight?" he asked.

I placed my hand on his stomach and loved how his muscles flexed under his flannel shirt. I saw a spark in his baby blues that promised to chase his exhaustion away. "Beside you, under you, on you, or wherever you need me to be."

Abe's hold on my hip turned bruising, and I fucking loved it. "In me, Lio?"

I pictured myself falling asleep in his arms with my spent cock still in his ass. I glanced into the living room and caught Jeremy shifting his gaze between Allen and us. "Not with them here."

He inhaled sharply and licked his bottom lip. "Fuck, Lio. Maybe you can spike their chili with NyQuil and knock them out."

I chuckled and tipped my head toward the whiskey on the counter. "I don't think that will be necessary, but I'd rather wait until it's just the two of us." And we needed to have a deeper conversation than the one we shared after Earl passed away. I released his shirt and rested my hand over his heart. Abe held my gaze for several seconds then nodded.

We couldn't hide behind the refrigerator door forever, so I retreated to the counter where I'd laid the peppers and onions. Following my cue, Abe shut the door and headed into the living room with two beers in hand.

"None for you?" Allen asked as he accepted the beer Abe offered him.

"Nah. I need to be levelheaded tomorrow when the miscreants show up. I need to ensure they don't steal anything that isn't bolted down."

"I feel sorry for whoever has to bunk with me," Allen said. "I love beans, but they don't love me."

Abe changed the topic before they could delve too deeply into who was sleeping where. I expected Jeremy to pipe in with his suspicions, but he kept his mouth shut. I sliced and diced peppers and browned lean ground beef and Italian sausage while Abe caught up on what everyone was doing.

Allen had recently been promoted to sales director at his dealership, which surprised no one. He could sell water to a drowning man.

"I'm between jobs right now," Jeremy said. "Call it a difference of opinion with management. I thought they were fucking morons, and they were under the impression they could do no wrong."

"If you're looking for something, I could get you on at my dealership," Allen suggested.

"No way I'm wearing suits and chasing potential customers around on a car lot," Jeremy replied with utter disdain.

Abe must've sensed trouble because he again shifted the subject while I finished my kitchen duties. Once I'd tossed away the trash and cleaned the counters, I asked if anyone was ready for another beer.

"Me," Allen and Jeremy said.

I grabbed four bottles from the fridge, twisted off the tops, and thought about Abe's NyQuil suggestion.

The living room setup was standard. There was a rustic fireplace on one wall that acted as a focal point in the space. A camel-brown sofa faced the fireplace, and two matching chairs were spaced between the accent wall and the couch and were typically angled toward the fireplace. Allen and Jeremy had turned them around to face the sofa instead. I handed a bottle to each of the men and kept one for myself when I dropped onto the couch beside Abe, who placed his arm on the back of the sofa and rested his hand behind my head.

Allen asked about Alex, and Abe stroked the back of my neck with his thumb while I told them about his recent tournament win. The soft caress rekindled the fire in my belly Abe had caused when he arrived. His touch made it hard for me to focus and threatened my control. My instinct urged me to pull away, so I leaned into him instead.

"I'm proud of that kid," I managed to say.

Allen leaned forward. "Wait a minute. I'm pretty sure I saw a clip of the incident on ESPN. Does Alex play ball for Steve Parker?"

"Yeah, but no one told me ESPN picked up the story. A local reporter wrote up a piece about it." I didn't expand on the content because we'd never shared our history with Jeremy and Allen. They knew we were from neighboring areas of Georgia, but that was it. Abe rested his hand on the base of my neck, and I loved the warm weight of his touch.

My phone rang, and I leaned toward Abe so I could pull it free from my pocket. By doing so, I revealed where his hand had been. Allen quirked a brow as he raised his beer to his mouth. I looked down at my phone and saw it was Alyssa calling.

"I better take this." I set my beer on the table and stood up. "I'll just step outside."

"I'm going to see what snacks Lio brought us," Abe said as I opened the front door. "Maybe we should make the cornbread since Lio doesn't get along with ovens." I wanted to protest, but it was true. My mother never set a timer and her stuff always turned out perfect. I set a timer, then got busy doing something else and didn't hear it go off until smoke filled the kitchen. My baking was the butt of everyone's jokes.

"Wait for me," Allen chimed in. "I'm starved."

I jogged down the steps, rounded the side of the house, and accepted the call. "Alyssa, is everything okay?"

"Yes, shit," she said breathlessly. "I got so excited that I forgot where you were and what you were doing. I'm sorry for worrying you."

I chuckled. "Don't apologize. You know I wake up looking for something to fret about."

She sighed. "I know it all too well. Did you remember to pass my condolences to Abe?"

"Of course. That's not why you called, though."

"You're not going to believe what happened," Alyssa said. " SportsCenter ran a story about Alex and Clint last night, creating quite the buzz."

"That's so cool. I haven't seen it yet, but Allen just told me about it."

"It gets even better," Alyssa exclaimed. "The baseball coach from the University of Georgia invited Alex, Clint, the coaches, and their families to a game next season. We'll get a special tour of the stadium and locker rooms."

"That's wonderful news. Does Alex know yet?"

"Not yet," Alyssa said. "Coach Steve will announce it at the year-end banquet tomorrow night."

"Damn. I wish I could see the look on Alex's face. I'm sorry I won't be there."

"I'll record it and send the clip to you."

"I appreciate it. This is great news, especially after our rough week." I hadn't pressed her about the Eads investigation, but not knowing what was going on had only added to my stress. "I hate to ask, but do you have any updates about Eads?"

"Nothing I can share. I know the media scrutiny has been awful, but you're going to come out of this okay."

"I hope you're right, Lyss. I know the guy didn't physically threaten me, but I can't shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen. I can feel it in the air, you know? I keep waiting for him to take a shot."

"Do you want my honest opinion?" she asked.

"Always."

"I think Eads is nothing more than a blowhard, and you're worrying for nothing," she said.

I released a heavy sigh. "You're probably right."

"I won't keep you," she said. "I just wanted to give you the good news. Give my love to Abe, please."

"Gladly."

We said our goodbyes and disconnected. I tucked the phone back into my pocket and headed toward the front of the cabin. I caught a whiff of cigarette smoke as I neared the corner and knew the source immediately. Jeremy leaned against the railing, looking through the cabin window, watching Abe and Allen laughing together in the kitchen. A half smile curved his lips as he tilted his head back and exhaled a plume of smoke when I stepped onto the porch.

"Thought you gave those up," I said, trying to make small talk.

Jeremy turned dark, solemn eyes my direction. "Some things are just too hard to shake. Something tells me you know a little about that."

I tilted my head in concession. "I think it's an affliction we all know."

Rich, full-bodied laughter pulled our attention back to the cabin. Allen gestured wildly as he recounted a story to Abe, who was the source of the hilarity. He'd leaned against the counter, thrown his head back, and clutched his stomach. The scene was so comical Jeremy and I couldn't resist laughing along with them. After a few moments, Allen stopped gesturing, and Abe straightened to his full height. He wiped his eyes and looked in our direction as if realizing we'd been spying on him. He scrunched up his face and gestured with his hand to say what are you doing?

"Abe is saying and doing the right things, but he's not okay," Jeremy remarked.

"Nope," I agreed. His body was rigid with tension, his big shoulders looking like immovable mountains. "He'll get there, though." I'd see to it.

Abe waved us in, so we went inside and joined them. I stirred the chili and liked the color of the sauce.

"Taste test," Abe insisted.

I pulled a spoon from the drawer, scooped some up, and held it to his lips. Abe pursed his mouth and blew on it for a few seconds before taking a bite. He nodded as he chewed, then waited to see if the right amount of heat hit him late. He tapped his throat and grinned. "Perfection."

"Were the beans tender enough?"

He held out his hand and rocked it side to side. "Maybe a little longer."

"Sounds like the perfect time to start the cornbread and get the chili toppings ready."

Abe settled his hand on my waist. "Want some help?"

"Sure. How do you feel about shredding cheese?"

Abe stepped closer and said, "I'm the man for the job."

Unable to resist his proximity, I put the box of cornbread mix on the counter. "What kind of job? Hand? Blow?"

Abe set the block of cheese down and gave me his full attention. "All the above and so much more." He lifted a hunk of cheese to my lips, and I accepted it with my teeth. He inhaled sharply when my lips brushed his fingertips. Raucous laughter erupted from the living room, interrupting our sexy moment. Abe scowled and picked up the hunk of cheese and went to work on the grater.

Even though Allen and Jeremy retreated to the living room, they included us in the conversation. Allen was doing most of the talking, as per usual, and the rest of us piped in occasionally. The kitchen table felt especially small when the four of us crowded around it to eat, but we were used to navigating tight quarters together. Abe's knee knocked into mine several times while we ate, drank, and laughed. Abe and I switched to water after two beers while the other guys continued knocking them back.

Allen scooted his chair back from the table and stood up. "I want a second bowl of Lio's chili. I can never get mine to taste as good as yours."

"Well, when your kitchen skills are as limited as mine, you learn to perfect the few things you make well," I replied.

"Want another bowl, Jere?" Allen asked.

"Nah, I'm full." Jeremy usually ate two or three bowls of chili, but he'd barely finished the one in front of him.

Allen studied Jeremy for a few minutes before heading into the kitchen.

"Is everything okay?" Abe asked Jeremy. "You're thinner than I've ever seen you."

Jeremy shrugged and tore off a chunk of cornbread. "I'm fine. I just don't need the bulky muscle like I did when we were on active duty. I gained about forty pounds last year when the doctors put me on woo-woo meds."

"Woo-woo meds?" I asked.

"The shit they give you for PTSD," he replied without meeting my gaze. "Amber insisted I see a shrink and get meds. She took me to court and got my visitation restricted until I complied."

Abe set his spoon down and frowned. "I didn't know you had PTSD."

Jeremy shrugged again and lifted his head. "It's not something I like to talk about, even with people who understand. This doctor is pretty cool, though." He huffed out a heavy sigh. "And the meds helped, but they also made me gain a bunch of weight. I had to change my diet and workout routine to level everything out. I'm good now." He raised a hand and rubbed the back of his neck, a classic sign of discomfort. "Besides," he said, "it's hard to get a word in with chatterbox over there." He hooked his thumb in Allen's direction.

"I'm just grateful for grown-up talk," Allen said as he returned to the table. He crumbled his piece of cornbread on top of his chili and mixed the concoction. "When Heidi and I aren't with the kids, we talk about them. My darling princesses consume us." He smiled wryly.

"So fix it," I said. "Take your wife on a date. Romance her like you did before you had kids."

Allen's mouth fell open as he looked at me. "You make a good point. Our parents are always complaining they don't see the girls enough."

"There you go," I said. "Problem solved."

The cards came out after we ate, and we played poker for a few hours. The laughter got louder, and the banter grew cruder as the night wore on. When Allen brought out the heavy liquor, I knew it was time for me to tap out.

"I'm turning in," I said.

Abe scooted back his chair. "Me too."

"Ah, come on," Allen cajoled. "One shot."

Abe patted his shoulder. "Not for me. I'll need my wits when I deal with my family tomorrow."

"Fine," Allen said, pouring a shot for himself and one for Jeremy. "More for us."

"I'll drink to that," Jeremy said, tapping his shot glass against Allen's before knocking it back.

"So who gets stuck bunking with me?" Allen said.

"No one," Abe replied. "One of you can sleep in the guest room, and the other can crash on the couch."

Allen's eyes glistened with mischief. There was no way he'd missed Abe's proprietary grip on my neck earlier. "And where will Lio be?" he pressed.

"With him," I replied at the same time Abe said, "With me."

Allen refilled the shot glasses. "One more to drink to our friends finally sorting out their shit and getting together." Jeremy hesitated for a second, then clinked his glass against Allen's. We didn't stick around to watch them drink it.

"Lio." My name was a needy groan on his lips when we entered his bedroom, and it made my stomach clench and my spine tingle. "I want…I need."

"I know, baby."

God, how I knew, but I wouldn't give in to what we both wanted, not with Jeremy and Allen just down the hallway. I didn't want to hold back when Abe finally got me naked and beneath him, and that wouldn't happen until I was certain this was what he truly wanted. We'd barely scratched the surface of what we needed to discuss, and I wouldn't push him until he was ready.

I'd left the table lamp on when I'd set my bag on the bed, which cast a warm glow in the room. Like the rest of the cabin, the floors, walls, and ceiling were made of oak planks. A large, colorful braided rug in the center of the room and the navy-blue comforter broke up the monotony of wood tones in the space. The cabin had so much potential, but it wasn't the time to think about home improvement projects when Abe gripped my neck and pulled me forward. He crashed his mouth against mine, slid his tongue between my lips, and coiled it around mine. Abe backed me toward the bed, and my resolve to wait melted with each step. By the time my legs bumped into the side of the mattress, I was ready to throw caution to the wind. Abe pulled back and stared into my eyes while brushing his thumbs over my beard.

"I just want to hold you right now," Abe said huskily. "One night in your bed has ruined me, and I can't sleep without you in my arms."

My burgeoning lust morphed into something more profound as I smiled at him. "So glad I'm not the only one struggling with that. I never considered myself a cuddler until last weekend."

"Full disclosure," Abe said. "I plan to strip you down to your undies and kiss you."

I raised my hand to the top button on his flannel shirt and worked it open as I pressed a quick kiss to his lips. "You'll get no complaints from me."

Abe let out a soft growl and captured my mouth for a hungry kiss while we continued undressing one another, only pulling apart when the disrobing required it. Once we were down to our briefs, mine black and his white, Abe reached for the blankets and noticed my overnight bag for the first time since entering the room.

"Arrogant much?" Abe asked.

I tossed the bag onto the floor while he turned down the blankets. "No. Just manifesting what I want by speaking it into existence, and I want you." I gestured to the bed and said, "Now, let's get to cuddling."

"God, you're bossy."

"You like it."

Abe cupped my face and lowered his head. "I love it."

We shared a long, languid kiss that left us boneless and breathless. I reluctantly pulled back before we could get something started. "Get in."

"So bossy," he grumbled as he slid between the sheets.

I turned off the lamp, eased in after Abe, and spooned around him, wrapping an arm around his waist, kissing a path along his neck, and nibbling on his earlobe.

"I never knew love like this existed," Abe said, his voice a husky timber in the dark that made my toes curl.

I placed a kiss on the back of his neck and said, "Me either." Abe rolled over in my embrace to face me. A shaft of moonlight shone through the parted curtains, making his blue eyes glitter with an inscrutable expression I read as doubt. "I've loved before but nothing like this. All love isn't created equally, and what we have is special."

"It's scary," Abe admitted.

"But we're worth the risk, Abe Beecham." I brushed my hand along his cheekbone and trailed a finger over his lips.

"Hell yeah, we are," he whispered huskily before pressing his lips to mine. We kissed and touched until neither could keep our eyes open. Bliss enveloped me when I finally gave in to exhaustion.