Chapter Seventeen

Christopher

I stared out the kitchen window while waiting for Julian and Harper to finish getting ready for our double date. I'd left Coy in the living room to watch SportsCenter while I pretended to get a drink. The past two weeks had caught up to me, and I would much rather stay home with Julian than spend a night out on the town. My guy had been gone more than he'd been home lately, traveling to Milan, Paris, NYC, and Atlanta to meet with the designers who wanted his brilliance for their fashion houses. Even when he was here with me, Julian seemed a million miles away. Plus, I'd been working long hours combing through old case files with the task force. I'd turned into quite the workaholic with Julian away, pushing myself and the others to dig deeper and keep going.

The good news was that we'd finished going through all the files. The bad news was that there were at least ten cases we flagged for possible misconduct from both the former DA, Adam Savant, and SPD. Considering the hostility Everly and Eads had shown me, I wasn't surprised to discover Eads had worked on seven of the ten investigations. But I took no joy in handing in my report to Mendoza. The chief accepted it with solemn gratitude for my work and reminded me that my discretion was of utmost importance while he worked with Internal Affairs going forward. It was an easy promise to make.

Julian and Harper's combined laughter filtered into the kitchen from the bathroom, and a genuine smile came to my face unlike the fake ones I'd been flashing around until my face hurt. God, it was good to have Julian home.

"Toph," Harper said softly from behind me.

I hadn't heard her enter the room, so I spun around and tried for my best fake smile. Harper sighed and rushed forward, wrapping her arms around my waist and resting her head against my chest.

"It's going to be okay," she whispered. "He won't leave us." She'd said this many times over the past few weeks, but her words had started to lack conviction.

"I won't begrudge Julian the amazing opportunities he's earned nor will I be just another person who claims to know what's best for him. That's how that idiot Thad lost Julian, and I won't repeat his mistakes."

"Attaboy," she said proudly.

"Where's my guy?"

She took a step back and looked up at me. "Taking a call. He said he won't be long. Does he seem off to you?"

"A little quiet, but I'm sure he has a lot on his mind."

Julian found us in the kitchen a few minutes later. The smile on his face was tired but so beautiful.

"Can you give us a minute?" I asked Harper.

"Of course." She pecked Julian on the cheek as she passed him. "Coy and I will meet you at the restaurant." The front door closed a few minutes later, leaving the two of us alone.

Julian shifted his gaze from me to the plants lining the shelves by the windows. "You've taken good care of our babies."

I tugged him into my arms. God, he smelled so good. Like sunshine and forever.

I gently caressed the shadows under his eyes. "You look tired."

"I'm exhausted. I don't like being away from you, and I don't sleep well."

My heart soared like it only did for Julian. "That makes two of us." I brushed the soft curls back from his forehead. "We don't have to go out tonight. I can call Harper and reschedule for another time."

Julian shook his head, and I saw his determination to carry out our plans.

"Let's head out, then."

Julian nodded and followed me out to the truck. We'd decided to eat at Pearl's again, then check out the Woodstock Lounge, the new bar that had become all the rage. Harper and Julian did most of the talking during dinner, but whenever Julian's travels came up in the conversation, he changed the subject. I wasn't sure what that meant. Had he made a decision he thought we wouldn't like, or did he just want a break from thinking? Worry flashed in Harper's eyes, and I winked to let her know it would be okay.

After dinner, Julian and I held hands as we walked to the lounge. The advertisement I saw online promised live music nightly and just the thought of it perked me up. Much of my life revolved around music. Mama taught me how to listen and feel music long before she taught me how to play it. I understood the role each instrument played and would pick one to follow all the way through a song. Then I picked another instrument and replayed the song to hear it all the way through too. I would keep doing that until I cycled through all the instruments on a particular track, then I moved to the next song on the album. Melodies stirred reactions deep in my soul before I was mature enough to put a name to the emotions. Later, when I was old enough to understand, I sought music for comfort or a way to escape. There wasn't room to wallow in an emotional upheaval when playing an instrument, especially when you were part of a band. If I had a bad night on drums, I threw everyone off. So I'd lost and found myself in music time and time again.

It was no different with Julian. He was happiest when working at his drafting table or sewing machine. I'd stand in the doorway and watch him sometimes, and he'd be completely oblivious to my presence. He'd mutter things like, "Measure twice and cut once, Julian." Instead of feeling left out, I felt lucky to witness his genius and would plan all the ways I'd demonstrate it when he returned to me. And he always did. Then we'd become the mutual appreciation society of roaming hands and mouths. Julian's body was my favorite instrument, and his cries of pleasure were my favorite song.

Harmonious voices drifted on the wind, but it didn't sound like a band.

"Karaoke?" Coy asked.

Then I saw the sign on the sidewalk and pointed to it. "Open mic night."

I loved the eclectic vibe of the Woodstock Lounge as soon as we walked through the door. I took a moment to appreciate the exposed brick walls, rich wood polished to a gleam, warm ambient light, and the variety of seating. There was the expected long bar with stools and tables with chairs, but the Woodstock Lounge included pockets of intimate conversation areas that looked like miniature living rooms peppered throughout the space. On one end was a simple stage just barely large enough to fit a small band, but the wall behind it featured album cover posters spanning several decades.

Harper leaned closer to me and said, "That stage is really something."

I nodded. "It's the closest I'll ever come to singing with Joplin and Hendrix."

The next performer, a young woman, walked up on the stage and introduced herself as Stella. Everyone in the lounge responded, "Hi, Stella."

"Hello," she replied.

Stella briefly closed her eyes and took a second before launching into a moving poem about love and loss so achingly poignant that I found it hard to breathe. Her words and voice fluctuated between lyrical and soft and raw and edgy. She changed the cadence from fast to slow, matching the mood and message so perfectly. Her words conveyed the highest highs and the lowest lows of the human experience—the heartbeat and pulse of humanity.

Julian squeezed my hand, and I glanced over in time to see a tear slide down his face. I reached over and brushed it away, and he turned to face me. I leaned down and kissed him, loving the way his lips softened beneath mine. We jerked apart when the room erupted with cheering and clapping after Stella finished her poem.

"You sign up to perform over there," Coy said, pointing to a table where an older guy stood clapping for Stella as she exited the stage.

The man sat back down, picked up a clipboard, and reached for his microphone. "Caleb Newkirk is up next," he said.

"Let's find a place to sit first," Harper said, scanning the room.

Julian pointed to a shadowed corner of the lounge. "A table is open over there."

We made our way to the table as the audience clapped for the skinny redhead who stepped onto the stage. Off to the side was an impressive assortment of instruments for performers to choose from. Caleb chose a set of bongo drums and carried them to center stage.

"Hi, Caleb," the audience said, and this time we joined in too.

"Good evening." He began tapping out a familiar reggae beat before singing Bob Marley's "One Love."

I would've been happy watching everyone else perform, but Coy and Julian were insistent Harper and I sing too. I hadn't played with the band since I'd gotten injured, and I was nowhere near ready to play drums, but I'd noticed a pretty Martin acoustic guitar among the other instruments.

"Come on," Harper said, nudging me with her elbow. We gave our drink order to Coy and Julian in case the server came by while we were gone.

There were at least a dozen performers ahead of us, which allowed me to think of a song I wanted to sing.

Harper hooked her arm through mine and leaned in. "What's your game plan?" she asked.

"For?"

"Keeping Julian in Savannah."

I tipped my head to the side. "I have no desire to hold him back if his dreams are leading him somewhere else."

Harper scowled. "You're just going to let him go without a fight?"

"Hell no. I'm going to amplify his sparkle."

She blinked at me for several seconds. "I have no idea what the hell that means, but it better not include my best friend being several thousand miles away. A part of my soul will shrivel up and die."

"Your heart might ache because you'll miss us, but it will soar to new heights when you see Julian flourish."

" Us ? What do you mean?"

I winked and said, "I guess you'll find out." I continued toward our table while she growled my name in frustration.

I dropped into the seat next to Julian and looped my arm around his shoulders. He leaned into me, and I rested my cheek against the top of his head. The server brought our drinks, but neither of us reached for them. We stayed tangled up in each other until the emcee announced it was my turn to perform.

Julian sat up, but I cupped his face before he could get too far and dropped a kiss on his lips. "This one is just for you." Julian's mouth popped open, and I still heard his soft gasp over the audience clapping.

I tore myself away from him and headed to the stage. I selected the Martin and crossed to the microphone stand.

"Hi, Christopher," the crowd said.

"Hello, everyone. Tonight, I'm going to perform ‘Crazy Love' for you. Many talented singers have recorded the song over the years, but my favorite version is by Van Morrison. My daddy played the album several times a week, and he'd sing the song to my mama as they slow danced. I hope you'll allow me some liberties to change the pronouns around a little because the person who holds my heart is the most beautiful man in the world."

There were a few catcalls and cheers, and I let them die down before I strummed the opening melody for the song. I kept my gaze locked with Julian's from the first word to the last, hoping to convey just how much he meant to me. The world around us faded into oblivion until it was just us, so the clapping afterward was jarring and caught me by surprise. I thanked the crowd for their warm reception, then replaced the guitar on the rack.

"Attaboy," Harper said when she passed me on her way to the stage.

Julian stood up when I approached, and I took him into my arms and kissed him hard. The people around us clapped and cheered, but I didn't know if they were applauding us or Harper. I pulled back when I felt his lips tremble under mine. His green eyes glistened with unshed tears, and I couldn't tell if he was upset, happy, or confused.

I gripped Julian's hand and tugged him after me. "We'll be back in a few," I tossed over my shoulder to Coy.

"Uh-huh. Forgive me if I don't hold my breath." I was really starting to like the asshole.

Outside on the sidewalk, I pulled Julian into the doorway of the closed barber shop next door.

I brushed my thumbs under his eyes to sweep away his tears. "I didn't mean to upset you."

He shook his head. "You didn't. I'm just…"

"Confused. Overwhelmed. Unsure how to let me down easily?"

Julian scrunched up his nose adorably. "What? No. Well, maybe I was a tad overwhelmed." He tilted his head to the side. "And confused. You've been giving me mixed signals lately."

"Mixed signals?" I racked my brain for a time when I was anything but supportive. "I don't understand."

"For the past few weeks, I've discussed opportunities that could take me hundreds or even thousands of miles away from you. Instead of being sad, you've been a sexy, lumberjack-sized cheerleader like you're excited for me to leave. But at night, you hold me in your arms like you're afraid to let go. And in the lounge, you sang like you wanted the whole world to know you love me."

I stroked my hand along the side of his face. "Baby, all those things are true. I'm so proud of the opportunities you've earned. I hold you the way I do because I won't let you go." I brushed my nose against his. "Not without me by your side anyway. And I do want the entire world to know I love you because I do."

Julian swallowed hard. "You are willing to come with me? But you love your life here."

"I love you more. There's that old adage about letting someone go if you love them, and if they love you in return, they'll come back." I smiled and said, "I say if you love someone, you follow them to the ends of the earth if that's what it takes."

"I love you too," Julian whispered. "You make me feel like I shot for the stars and landed on the moon."

I kissed his trembling lips. "I will not be the person who ruins your dreams. I'll do whatever it takes to see them come true. Need someone to haul your luggage around like a camel? I'm your man. Need security detail to keep the crazed fans away? I'm your man. Need someone to hold you together because you feel like you're flying apart? I am definitely your man."

Julian closed his eyes and took a deep breath. A playful smile toyed at his lips when our gazes met again. "When I arrived in Savannah, I was bruised and battered. I hadn't intended to stay permanently. I was going to lick my wounds and find a way to make my mark on the world again. I still dreamed of becoming the fashion house of the South, but the longer I stayed, the quieter that dream became until I replaced it with something new. You , Christopher. You are the dream. The life we're building is the dream." He exhaled a shaky breath, then said, "I admit the whispers of redemption and the lure of fame enticed the person I used to be, but not for long. I remembered how toxic the fashion industry is. Right now, designers like Jonathon Henry are desperate to have me on their teams, but they'd steal my glory for themselves at the first opportunity. I gave Greer the chance to atone for ruining my reputation. I even accepted her apology, but I can't forget it happened nor do I trust that she wouldn't blackball me again if another issue cropped up. I'd fallen out of love with the industry before I moved here, but my stubborn pride wouldn't allow me to admit it. Maybe fitting grooms and prom goers into tuxedos seems like a step down, but I enjoy it. Reed is a wonderful guy, and he gives me the flexibility I need to pursue my other ventures. I assuage my creative beast by making custom clothes and content for my YouTube channel. But teaching at the college has been the highlight of my professional career. I'm blown away by the new generation of artists who put as much emphasis on saving the planet as they do on creating beautiful clothes. That's the fashion future I want to be part of, which is why I'm so thrilled by the phone call I received before we left the house."

He practically vibrated with excitement, and my heart sped up in response. "Tell me."

"The dean offered me a full-time position on the faculty at SCAD. They are adding new courses to their BFA and MFA programs and want me to teach them."

I kissed him and said, "That's wonderful news. Congratulations."

"I won't get to teach full-time until next year, but I'm so excited."

I leaned my forehead against his. "I love you so much, and I'm so proud of you."

"I love you too." He pulled back and looked up at me. "You're not disappointed we won't be traveling abroad?"

"Oh, we will for vacations and things. I will still carry your luggage and act as your bodyguard."

Julian smiled slyly and took a few steps back, pulling me out of the alcove. "Why wait when we can role play that right now?"

I chuckled as he practically dragged me down the sidewalk. "Isn't it rude to ditch Harper and Coy?"

He turned around and walked backward, his green eyes glittering with wickedness. "Do you really care?"

I tugged Julian's hand to pull him up short, then lowered my good shoulder and hoisted him over it.

"Not in the least. Let's go home."