Chapter Two

Topher

M y brain was scrambled, and my skin felt like it no longer fit when I stepped inside Harper's apartment. I hadn't experienced the sensation since the summer I'd gone camping with my cousins and skipped sunblock because it wasn't cool. Julian's adoration typically had a soothing effect, but our most recent interaction left me feeling scorched. Something inside me recognized that getting tangled up with Julian would be worth any discomfort.

Harper stood inside the door with her arms crossed over her chest, and the scowl on her face warned me of imminent danger. "What the hell?" she growled.

My brain still wasn't functioning at full capacity. I'd recognized the peril but wasn't cognizant of how to navigate around it. "Huh?" I asked.

She took two steps forward and stared at me with burning dark eyes. "Don't play coy with me and sure as hell don't play games with Julian's feelings."

The accusation was like a cold shower for my sluggish brain, and I was suddenly firing on all cylinders again. "I would never."

Harper took a deep breath and calmed down a little. "You flirted with Julian over dinner."

"I didn't flirt." Her scowl deepened again. "I mean, I wasn't trying to flirt." It just happened naturally, and it felt right. "I was just bantering with Julian. You know I wouldn't hurt him."

She sighed and uncrossed her arms. "Maybe not on purpose, but accidents hurt just as bad."

I'd seen firsthand the damage accidents could cause, and I wouldn't want Julian to be a casualty of my curiosity. The new attraction sparking in my soul was more than curiosity, though. But since I didn't understand when or how I'd arrived at this point, I struggled to put my feelings into words. If I couldn't talk about the attraction, I had no business acting on it. Especially not with someone as wonderful as Julian.

"I'm not going to do or say anything to hurt him." No matter what it took, I would keep my promise.

Harper held my gaze for a few minutes before asking if I wanted pie. I'd forgotten I had carried in the bag of leftovers and dessert.

"Nah. You and Julian seem to be able to eat anything without repercussions, but I've gained at least ten pounds since I moved in with you. My six-pack is down to two, and my pants are getting tight."

"Still want to watch a movie?" Harper asked.

It wouldn't feel right without Julian, but I didn't dare say that to her. "I'm bushed after helping Diego and Levi move into their new house." The mental gymnastics had been more taxing than the actual heavy lifting. I was happy for my friend and his new husband but also conflicted about why I couldn't land a healthy relationship like theirs. "I think I'll just take a shower and hit the sack," I told Harper.

She didn't bother hiding her glee. "Woohoo! I get the television to myself."

I snickered and said goodnight before heading to my bedroom. Instead of grabbing a pair of shorts to change into after I showered, I flopped down onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. Ignoring my growing feelings for Julian wasn't getting me anywhere, but I hadn't figured out how to safely explore this new side of me beyond watching porn and jerking off. I got up and ensured I'd locked the door, changed into a comfortable pair of shorts, and grabbed my earbuds and laptop. When I pulled up my browser, a frozen image of Julian appeared on the screen from where I'd paused his latest YouTube episode. He sat on a stool with his back to the camera, wearing nothing but a pair of leather pants. I hit Play, and the steady sound of the sewing machine needle working up and down filtered through the earbuds. I stared at his perfectly sculpted shoulders and arms as he fed the fabric through the machine. He was demonstrating how to make his latest corset creation while all I could think about was the amount of time he must've spent at the gym. Julian's toned back tapered to a lean waist, accentuating how perfectly round and tight his ass was.

The camera angle changed so viewers could see exactly what was happening as he pieced two fabric sections together. Julian's fingers were long and nimble like a pianist's, and he made sewing look graceful and seductive. I tried not to read all the thirsty comments people made but often failed. Sometimes I was outraged by his subscribers' audacity, but other times, I learned valuable lessons, such as the term power bottom when two subscribers got into a debate about what Julian would be like in bed. I'd looked up the definition and had gotten so turned on that I immediately searched for porn to get a visual of the dynamic. I could see Julian as the sexual aggressor while bottoming whether he was beneath his lover or, like in the porn clip, had his partner pinned to the bed while he rode him like a bronco.

After I watched the scene and understood the dynamic better, I realized what was missing in my past sexual encounters. People saw a man my size and expected me to be the dominant, in-charge partner. But what I wanted was someone who'd take complete control in bed. Julian had never responded to the comments on his video, so I didn't know if he was a power bottom or not, but I couldn't stop imagining him in that role.

I closed my eyes and pictured Julian lying beneath me in bed, guiding my dick into his ass. He'd whisper encouraging words while kissing my neck or lips. I slid my right hand beneath my waistband and gripped my dick. Julian seemed fascinated by my size. When he and Harper had discussed their health and fitness goals recently, Julian had responded, "Having Christopher on top of me would be my ideal weight." He'd waggled his eyebrows, Harper had gagged, and I'd just shaken my head. But now, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I stroked my dick while imagining Julian's kickass body moving against mine, yielding to me while he instructed me how best to please him.

"Nice and slow," Julian said on the video. "That's it. There's no need to rush. Everyone is in a hurry to reach the end, but building anticipation makes for a more satisfying finish."

His voice in my ear just made me hornier, so I listened to him, pretending he was in the room with me. He'd somehow made sewing sound erotic, and it didn't take me long to come, even though I'd tried to take it nice and slow. I lay there panting with my softening dick still in my hand and spunk splattered all over my chest.

"Would you look at that?" Julian said in my ear. I kept my eyes closed and pretended he was talking about me. "Absolutely beautiful."

The combination of my orgasm and the steady whir of his sewing machine made me sleepy. I should've gotten up and taken a shower, but I used my discarded shirt to clean up instead. I closed my eyes and vowed to get up in a few more minutes, but the next thing I knew, I jerked awake to the sound of Julian's voice the following morning. I looked around my room in confusion until my gaze landed on my laptop. His videos had continued to play while I slept. I checked the time and saw that I had to be up in an hour, so I put on my workout clothes and headed to the gym on the first floor.

I spied Julian jogging shirtless on the treadmill and would've turned right around if he hadn't seen me in the mirrored wall in front of him. My gaze drifted down his back to land on his taut ass. Those had to be the shortest and tightest shorts I'd ever seen on a man. Julian's pace slowed to a brisk walk, and I glanced back up and met his gaze in the mirror again. He crooked his finger at me, and I headed over to him. Julian slowed his pace again to cool down when I stopped by his treadmill.

"Are we okay?" Julian asked.

"What?"

"You and I?" he said, gesturing back and forth between us. "Are we okay?"

I scrunched up my face. "Why wouldn't we be?"

Julian stopped the treadmill and turned to face me. Rivulets of sweat ran down his perfectly toned chest and ripped abdomen. Julian was completely smooth where I was hairy. I trimmed my chest hair and often shaved my stomach because my girlfriends had preferred it that way, but maybe I should consider buzzing it all off. Julian didn't show the front of his chest on his videos much. He saved that for the moments when he put on his creations. And lord, he looked sexier putting clothes on than most people looked taking them off.

"You were about to bolt," Julian said, jerking my gaze back to his face. He had the prettiest green eyes I'd ever seen—a hunter-green rim with pale green irises and yellow striations around his pupils. His dark, curly hair was wet from sweating and plastered to his forehead. I knew if I brushed the locks away, there'd be a frown line to match the downturn of his full lips.

"Was not," I replied childishly.

"Were too." He took a deep breath. "There's this new… tension between us. It's never been there before, so I can't help wondering if I said too much or took my flirting too far."

"No."

"Then what's wrong?" Julian pressed.

Wrong wasn't the right word, but my thoughts and feelings were jumbled, leaving me tongue-tied. I wanted to tell Julian he was beautiful and that I thought about touching him a lot. I yearned to confess my fascination with his skin and the desire to know if it felt as soft as it looked. And would his mouth be as wicked as he promised? What would Julian say if I told him the fantasy version of him makes me come harder than any actual encounter I've had?

I wouldn't say or do any of those things, though, because, even without the promise I'd made to Harper, I'd never do or say anything to hurt Julian. But I did step a little closer and inhale a little deeper, breathing in the scent of his sweat and soap. "I guess I'm just figuring some things out."

"Oh," Julian said breathlessly. That spark of awareness arced between us again. "Let me know if I can help in any way."

"You'll be the first to know," I said with a wink, then left him staring after me with his lips parted and cheeks flushed.

I moved over to the rack of free weights and began moving through my routine to get a full-body workout with as little fuss as possible. I'd spent a ridiculous number of hours in a weight room while playing football in high school and college. Now I focused on maintenance workouts instead of trying to get bigger or stronger. Julian was nowhere in sight after I finished and headed upstairs to shower and get dressed for work.

I ate a massive slice of peach pie—breakfast of champions—and enjoyed a cup of coffee before heading to the precinct. I'd just pulled into my usual spot when I saw a tall blond guy striding toward the entrance. Coy fucking Beaufort, my nemesis for as long as I could remember. We'd always competed for the same football and baseball positions and even girlfriends. Every avenue I pursued, he followed with the intent to do it better. I broke away from Coy in college when he signed to play for Alabama instead of becoming a Georgia Bulldog like me. My luck ended when I entered the police academy after obtaining my bachelor's degree in criminal justice because his dumb ass reappeared again. I made detective first and was promoted to the Major Crimes Unit a full year before he landed there. I'd only had to work with Coy for a few months before transferring to the Cold Case Unit. Thank goodness there were no open positions in CCU, or I had no doubt he'd be clamoring to drive me nuts there too.

I waited five minutes after Coy disappeared inside before exiting my truck. Even though I'd eaten an enormous slice of pie, I took out my emotions on two donuts that my sergeant, Sawyer Key, had brought in for our meeting.

Sawyer quirked a brow as he sipped coffee from his "Hot for Teacher" mug. The teacher in question was his husband, Royce Locke, who oversaw the department's Explorer program for high school students seeking a future in law enforcement. I had mad respect for the two men and had recently stayed at their house to take care of their cat while they honeymooned. Royce was the only person I'd talked to about my shifting feelings for Julian because he'd come out as bisexual in his midthirties. I'd asked how he knew it was right to act on his attraction to Sawyer, and he'd told me it had felt like he'd been struck by lightning when they met. My fondness for Julian had been instantaneous, but my sexual attraction to him had developed slowly over time. Unlike Royce, I couldn't name the moment I realized I wanted something more from the existing relationship I shared with Julian. Had he been anyone else, I probably would've acted on my feelings without hesitation. I was afraid of hurting someone my family loved so much but also terrified of ignoring the way he made me feel. Royce had listened without judgment and encouraged me to be open and honest with Julian, but so far, I hadn't taken his advice.

"Everything okay, Toph?" Sawyer asked. "Or are you just really angry at that glazed donut?"

I forced myself to chew slower and settle down. "Just stressing about my CrimeStoppers interview this morning." That wasn't a complete lie.

"I have a feeling the camera and viewers are going to love you," he replied.

Holly Locke, Sawyer's sister-in-law, patted me on the back. "I suspect you'll have quite a fan club after the segment airs."

"God, I hope not." I groaned and looked longingly at the pastry box before deciding against it.

"Sworn off dating, huh?" Holly teased.

"Something like that."

"All right," Sawyer said, "let's call this meeting to order."

Our Cold Case Unit, while newly established, had solved an impressive number of cases, including a high-profile serial killer investigation. Lately, the win streak had cooled off a little, and each of us was eager to add a few more wins to our columns, hence trying new methods such as pleading our case directly to the viewing audience. We achieved this by working with a local true crime podcast called Sinister in Savannah and with Channel Eleven's crime reporter, Jude Arrow, who was also married to a Sinister podcaster.

We kicked off our meetings by recapping our current investigations. Holly was working on an old art theft case that had gotten hot again when a stolen piece had shown up in a recent auction. I was going to plead with the public to help me solve Yolanda Purky's murder because without new tips, it wouldn't get solved. I was also working on unsolved forgery and counterfeit cases I thought might be connected. Sawyer was working on a double homicide from the late seventies. The victims were two carnival workers attached to a traveling circus that had passed through Savannah.

After our meeting ended, I headed to Channel Eleven to film my segment. Jude was a pleasant guy who put me at ease. I'd worked with his husband numerous times on the podcast, so it felt like two friends chatting about an unsolved case.

"Forgive me for saying this," Jude said, "but this investigation feels like it might be a little personal to you. Is it?"

"The truth is, I shouldn't have allowed it to become personal, but it is. Mrs. Purky was the kind of person we all should strive to be. She was generous of spirit, good to her core, and never turned away anyone who needed her. Mrs. Purky was a retired music teacher who continued instructing children in her home because she loved it so much. While her crime looks like a random home invasion, I'm not convinced. I think someone took advantage of her kindness in the most heinous of ways." I paused and rubbed my aching chest. "Mrs. Purky reminds me of my mama and meemaw, who both taught music—in school and in their homes. We can't live in a society where these crimes go unpunished. I'm asking anyone who might have information to please come forward. You can make an anonymous tip to the CrimeStoppers number, and no one has to know your identity. But you will know you did your best to help bring Mrs. Purky's killer to justice."

"The toll-free tip line is on the bottom of the screen, and it's also on the station's website," Jude said. He reached over and shook my hand. "Thanks so much for your time, Detective Carnegie. I hope you'll come back again."

"I'd love to."

Someone came over to remove the microphone clipped to my suit jacket while Jude and I chatted off camera for a few more minutes. Afterward, I ran potential leads in my counterfeit and forgery cases for the rest of the day. I received a text from Harper around five, instructing me to pick up takeout for three because she and Julian planned to watch my televised interview at six and Jaws right after . When I'd asked what kind of takeout, she'd responded that I should surprise them.

So I headed to Rascal's. It was the best barbeque in the city, and they used biodegradable containers and bamboo utensils wrapped in recycled paper. Julian had changed how I looked at the world in more ways than one, and I enjoyed the light in his eyes when I did nice things for the environment. Luckily, the barbecue pit wasn't too busy, and I made it in time for the news.

Julian saw the name on the paper bag and smiled at me. Yep. So worth it.

"I'm starving," Harper said. "The vet clinic was so busy today that I barely had time to eat a peanut butter sandwich. I might shove my face in the peach pie after I devour this."

Julian ate like he wanted to savor every bite or avoid overeating from consuming his food too fast. I fell into the latter category but tried to match his tempo. Not Harper. She whirled through it like a hurricane. My segment was halfway through the hour, so we had plenty of time to eat.

When it was over, Julian placed both hands over his heart. "Absolutely precious."

Harper snorted and said, "Bet that ends your dry spell."

Julian batted his eyelashes. "I'll fight them all."

"You have nothing to worry about." I raised my arm, and Julian cuddled up against my chest. This interaction wasn't new for us, which should've clued me in a long time ago. Harper narrowed her eyes at me, but it was easy to ignore her indignation when Julian's body heat seeped into me and his soft curls tickled my chin. I picked up the remote and cued up the movie.

Julian burrowed deeper into my side, curled his legs up on the sofa, and laid his hand against my stomach. If he felt my muscles quiver beneath his hand, he didn't say. It took all my mental energy to focus on the movie and not the things I wanted to explore with the man who'd fallen asleep in my arms almost as soon as the movie started.